CNBC make it 2024-01-30 08:21:17

I’ve spent 20 years studying how to raise successful kids—the most ‘overlooked’ skill parents should teach

As a psychologist, I’ve spent nearly 20 years studying how to care for and raise good humans. The overlooked skill I always tell new parents to teach is inner efficacy.

Inner efficacy is an individual’s belief in their own capacity to do what it takes to meet their goals. Self-esteem might say, “I’m amazing!” but inner efficacy says, “I have what it takes to figure this out and achieve what I set out to.”

Kids with a strong sense of inner efficacy are more likely to challenge themselves and put in the effort. Rather than blaming external circumstances or some immutable lack of talent for their failures, they’ll focus on factors that are within their control.

Research shows that kids gain inner efficacy from four sources:

1. The experience of getting things right

For this to happen, kids have to be challenged at the right level. Pushing them into educational experiences they’re not ready for can be counterproductive.

Whenever they worry about not being able to do something, you can promote a growth mindset by telling them: “You’re not there, yet.”

2. Watching others get it right

It’s important that kids see others they consider similar to themselves, in at least some specifics (like age, race or ethnicity, gender identity, interests), achieving similar goals.

The peer modeling doesn’t have to come from people exactly like our unique child, but watching a much older child of a different race and gender accomplish something might not have the same effect.

3. Reminders that they have a history of getting things right

The stories we tell ourselves about the past create our sense of competence about the future.

Studies show that people who lean into optimism, have a growth mindset, and believe in themselves often don’t have such different past experiences than their pessimistic peers. They just remember successes more vividly than failures.

4. A sense of calm in their bodies

If children feel stressed, queasy, or anxious when faced with challenges, it can be difficult to perform without taking care of that physiological response first.

Teaching our kids self-soothing practices like mindful breathing will go a long way to help them become competent at whatever they focus on.

How to help kids build inner efficacy

1. Encourage them to try at something they’re not immediately good at.

Instead of saying “Practice makes perfect,” because we know that’s not always true — and we’re not actually looking for perfection — remind your child that “Effort makes evolution.”

2. Clarify to correct.

Don’t just mark mistakes with a red pen and say, “Wrong again, pal.” Instead, try restating, rephrasing, changing the question, clarifying directions, and going over previously learned skills.

Even with young children who point to a red apple and say “blue,” you can say, “Oh, yes, blueberries are blue, and this is a red apple” instead of just correcting them or saying, “That’s not blue, silly.”

3. Praise with specificity when it’s earned.

When we say “Good job!” it’s got be sincere and specific. Tell kids when you recognize their real effort, persistence, creativity, independence, and competence.

You don’t have to completely erase “good job” from your vocabulary. Just add a bit more detail, like, “Good job applying that chess opening you just learned.”

4. Point out strategy.

Help kids draw the line between the action and the achievement. If your child does a good job writing an essay they’ve outlined, for example, you can say, “I noticed you made an outline. I bet that’s one reason you did so well.”

Or, alternatively, you might need to say, “I noticed you didn’t do an outline. It can be really tough to write an essay when you don’t have an outline. Let’s try writing one together.”

When kids understand that their failures aren’t due to permanent limitations, there’s an opening for future achievement.

Dr. Aliza Pressman is a developmental psychologist with nearly two decades of experience working with families. She is an assistant clinical professor in the Division of Behavioral Health Department of Pediatrics at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital, where she is cofounding director of The Mount Sinai Parenting Center. She holds a BA from Dartmouth College and is the author of “The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans.” Follow her on Instagram @raisinggoodhumanspodcast.

Want to land your dream job in 2024? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Ace Your Job Interview to learn what hiring managers are really looking for, body language techniques, what to say and not to say, and the best way to talk about pay. Get started today and save 50% with discount code EARLYBIRD.

This is an adapted excerpt from ”THE 5 PRINCIPLES OF PARENTING: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans.” Copyright © 2024, Dr. Aliza Pressman. Reproduced by permission of Simon Element, an imprint of Simon & Schuster. All rights reserved.

Don’t miss:

  • A psychologist shares the 6 toxic traits of ‘highly narcissistic’ parents—and how to deal with them
  • I’m a mom living in Japan, home to the world’s healthiest kids—4 things Japanese parents do differently

One of 2024′s ‘best jobs’ can pay over $200,000 and let you work remotely without a degree

You can earn upward of $200,000 working from the comfort of your own home — no bachelor’s degree required — if you’re willing to crunch some numbers.

Loan officers claimed the No. 2 spot in Indeed’s annual ranking of the “best jobs” in the U.S., thanks to its high earning potential and increasing demand for these skilled professionals across several industries. 

The pay is great: The average salary for loan officers is $192,339, per Indeed’s research. Positions also tend to offer a lot of workplace flexibility. At least 75% of the listings for loan officers on Indeed’s database have remote or hybrid options.

DON’T MISS: The ultimate guide to acing your interview and landing your dream job

Loan officers assist people and businesses in the process of applying for loans, evaluating financial documents and helping borrowers complete their applications.

The demand for these services has grown in recent months, as industries like real estate, education, retail and e-commerce feel the squeeze of inflation and a tighter housing market, says Scott Dobroski, vice president of global corporate communications at Indeed.

Banks might be tightening up their lending standards because of recession fears, but the demand for mortgages remains high. “The need for loans will always be there, even if it ebbs and flows a bit,” adds Dobroski.

How to qualify for the job

You can become a loan officer without a bachelor’s degree. 

The requirements for becoming a loan officer vary from state to state, but generally, the process includes the following steps: 

  • Register with the Nationwide Multistate Licensing System and Registry (NMLS)
  • Take pre-licensure courses on federal law and regulations, lending standards and ethics
  • Pass a state or national license test
  • Find an employer to sponsor your license

To become a loan officer, you must be at least 18 years old and have a high school diploma or GED, Indeed reports. Before you can work as a practicing loan officer, you’ll need to find an employer, like a bank or credit union, to hire you and sponsor your license. 

After you complete the pre-licensure courses, most companies are willing to hire you as a loan officer “in training” to support various aspects of the mortgage lending process without drafting or servicing loans directly, says Ciara Glover, a mortgage loan officer in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. 

The 37-year-old left her job as an academic coordinator at Louisiana State University in September to work as a full-time loan officer at Canvas Mortgage, a residential mortgage division of Merchants & Marine Bank. 

Glover first became a loan officer seven years ago as a side hustle to make extra money. She worked from home for an online mortgage lender in her spare time. 

It only took her about two months to finish the necessary coursework and find an employer to sponsor her license before she could start working. 

“It’s one of the most flexible jobs out there,” says Glover. “You can fit your schedule around client meetings, and most employers are supportive of you working from home, in my experience, that’s been a common practice for loan officers even before the pandemic.”

‘There’s no ceiling on how much you can earn’

Some loan officers are paid a flat salary or an hourly rate, while others earn a commission based on sales in addition to their normal salary.

Most loan officers are paid between 0.2% and 2% of the total loan amount in commission, according to Indeed. For example: If a loan officer negotiates a 1% commission on a $500,000 loan, they would be paid $5,000 on that transaction alone.

“There’s a hard limit on what you can make in a lot of jobs, but for loan officers, there’s no ceiling on how much you can earn,” says Glover. “It’s the kind of profession where you get whatever you put in — so if you work hard, you’re looking at a nice paycheck.”

DON’T MISS: Want to be smarter and more successful with your money, work & life? Sign up for our new newsletter!

Want to land your dream job in 2024? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Ace Your Job Interview to learn what hiring managers are really looking for, body language techniques, what to say and not to say, and the best way to talk about pay. Get started today and save 50% with discount code EARLYBIRD.

Check out:

  • 33-year-old makes over $100,000 and works from home without a bachelor’s degree—here’s how
  • This in-demand side hustle pays up to $200 an hour and doesn’t require a college degree

This city has the worst traffic in the U.S.—and it’s not Los Angeles

America is home to some of the most congested cities in the world.

Most agree that sitting in traffic is a massive waste of time, and often cite a frustrating commute to and from work as reason to resist returning to the office. But experts say that congestion is a sign of a good economy because it shows people are going out and likely spending money.

In January, geolocation technology specialist TomTom released its annual Traffic Index for 2023.

The ranking includes the U.S. cities with the worst traffic, and was calculated by assessing the time, cost, and CO2 emission per mile driven and simulating how long it takes to complete a six-mile trip within a city for typical E.V., petrol and diesel cars.

California is the only state that had two cities rank in the top 10: San Francisco and Los Angeles.

The latter is notorious for its bad traffic but still came in way down at the No. 9 spot, while the Bay Area city landed in the top three.

New York City has the worst traffic in the U.S.

New York City is No. 1 on the list of cities with the worst traffic in America. The TomTom report found that, on average, commuters in the heart of the Big Apple spent 24 minutes and 50 seconds driving about six miles in 2023, a 20-second increase over 2022.

The city also ranked as the most congested in the U.S. in a separate TomTom ranking. On average, drivers lost 8 minutes and 2 seconds for a six-mile trip due to traffic. Commuters in New York also lose the most time in rush-hour traffic jams, with an average of one hour to make a typical six-minute trip.

Top 10 U.S. cities with the worst traffic

  1. New York City
  2. Washington, D.C.
  3. San Francisco
  4. Boston
  5. Chicago
  6. Baltimore
  7. Seattle
  8. Philadelphia
  9. Los Angeles
  10. Miami

Washington, D.C., ranks No. 2 on TomTom’s list. The average travel time for just six miles of driving is 21 minutes and 20 seconds, according to TomTom.

Commuters in the U.S. capital lost 86 hours to rush-hour traffic throughout 2023. Washington D.C. is also the third most congested U.S. city, with an average time of 5 minutes and 37 seconds lost due to traffic for a six-mile trip, according to a separate TomTom ranking.

Some of the country’s largest organizations are also based in Washington, D.C., including the American Red Cross, National Geographic Society, and AARP.

Want to land your dream job in 2024? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Ace Your Job Interview to learn what hiring managers are really looking for, body language techniques, what to say and not to say, and the best way to talk about pay. Get started today and save 50% with discount code EARLYBIRD.

The 15 most expensive U.S. neighborhoods per square foot—No. 1 is 2,000% higher than average

South of Market is a historic San Francisco downtown district with museums, a vibrant nightlife and a desirable mix of loft buildings and high-rise luxury condominiums.

It also happens to be the most expensive neighborhood in the U.S., as measured by price per square foot, according to a new analysis of December 2023 home listings by online real estate portal

The cost per square foot in South of Market — also known as SoMa — is $5,415. That’s around 2,000% higher than the overall U.S. average of $244.

Here are the 15 most expensive U.S. neighborhoods, ranked by price per square foot:

  1. South of Market, San Francisco: $5,415
  2. Northwest Auburn, Auburn, California: $4,416
  3. Old Town Carpinteria, Carpinteria, California: $4,129
  4. Downtown Bellevue, Bellevue, Washington: $3,619
  5. Port Royal, Naples, Florida: $3,375
  6. Aqualane Shores, Naples, Florida: $3,132
  7. Stinson Beach, California: $2,988
  8. Star, Palm & Hibiscus Islands, Miami Beach, Florida: $2,861
  9. Crystal Cove, Newport Beach, California: $2,771
  10. Casa del Lago, Palm Beach, Florida: $2,754
  11. West Village, New York City: $2,680
  12. Metropolitan Hill, New York City: $2,537
  13. Fisher Island, Miami: $2,511
  14. Hudson Square, New York City: $2,401
  15. Jupiter Island, Florida: $2,394

A downtown San Francisco neighborhood ranking first probably isn’t surprising, as the city has some of the highest home prices in the country. This is largely due to a scarcity of land and a large number of highly paid professionals who live in the city, which has driven up home prices. The median home price in San Francisco is $1,180,000, per data.

Just over 120 miles away is Northwest Auburn, California, the second-highest priced U.S. neighborhood at $4,416 per square foot.

Nestled in the Sierra Nevada foothills, Auburn is a historic Gold Rush-era town within a reasonable commuting distance to Sacramento, making it a desirable place to live, especially for those who enjoy outdoor activities like hiking or kayaking.

The Old Town neighborhood of the beachside California town of Carpinteria comes in third in the rankings, with a cost per square foot of $4,129. Surrounded by mountains, space is limited in Carpinteria, which has helped to keep home prices high. Homes in the historic Old Town district have a median cost of $905,500, per

In contrast, the Homewood North neighborhood in Pittsburgh ranks last amongst the 20,000 neighborhoods examined for the study, with homes costing $29 per square foot. An economically depressed area of the city, Homewood North has a declining population.

The rankings are based on average price per square foot data for U.S. homes using listing data. Neighborhoods without at least 10 sales in the previous 12 months were not included. Five states were excluded due to lack of data as well: Montana, South Dakota, Wyoming, North Dakota and Virginia.

Want to land your dream job in 2024? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Ace Your Job Interview to learn what hiring managers are really looking for, body language techniques, what to say and not to say, and the best way to talk about pay. Get started today and save 50% with discount code EARLYBIRD.

41-year old CEO and mom: I’m the first millionaire in my family—3 things I’m still extremely frugal about

Growing up, no matter how hard my parents worked, it would take just one unexpected medical bill or car repair to wipe out our savings. Teetering on the edge of poverty was a scary way to live, so when I became a parent, I was determined to end the cycle.

In 2010, I started a practice specializing in intellectual property law for small business owners. As my clients began asking for more wealth building advice, the firm evolved into a coaching business. In 2017, the company generated seven figures for the first time.

Today, I’m a mom of four, wife, CEO and multimillionaire. As a Black woman, I’ve created generational wealth for my kids and their kids. But my goal isn’t just to be a millionaire — it’s to stay one. 

Here are three things I’m still exceptionally frugal about:

1. My time 

To me, frugality is about being intentional, starting with how I spend my time. For years, I constantly gave it away for free. Then one day, I looked at my calendar and wondered, “Who put all these pointless meetings here? Oh right. Me!” Now I say no to 99% of the requests I get.

I only say yes if it will bring me a significant amount of money, energy, time or joy. Before my phenomenal assistant Bethany adds anything to my calendar, I ask myself a few questions:

  • Is this something that only I can do?
  • Can a teammate handle it just as well, if not better? Will it help my company achieve its mission? 
  • Will this generate more resources for me, my family or my business?
  • Will it serve our community and impact lives?

2. My family vacations 

I love business class for work trips, but when it comes to vacations, I’ve learned that a higher price tag doesn’t always mean more fun. 

I once booked an expensive house in Hawaii for a week. The view was stunning, but everything was perfectly manicured, gated and cut-off from the community. There was no culture.

So a few days in, we left the resort, drove an hour south, and visited a farmers’ market. We got delicious food for $10, browsed through handmade jewelry and watched local families enjoy their weekend. We experienced Hawaii in a completely different way, and it was easily my favorite day.

This year, I booked a family whale watching trip for $2,500. We’ll stay in a tent on the beach (I paid $300 extra for my own toilet) and drink coffee out of a thermos. I could afford something more expensive, but I know the memories we’ll have during this trip will be priceless.

3. My casual clothes

When I’m in a business setting, I want to look and feel like a million bucks, and will shop accordingly. However, if I’m at home without any meetings, speaking engagements or media appearances, you’ll find me in inexpensive and well-worn jeans and t-shirts.

It doesn’t matter how many commas are in my bank account, I’m still frugal about my leisure wear. I will always love cozy sweats from Target. If it’s a matching set that’s on sale, even better. My best friends tease me about this all the time: “Rachel, you can afford Gucci, but you’re rolling up to lunch in Tarjay?”

Give me a day where I can put on a pair of sweatpants, have some warm cookies, and watch an episode of “Virgin River” or “Bridgerton” on Netflix, and I’m in heaven. It’s also a reminder that a million dollar moment doesn’t have to cost a ton.

Rachel Rodgers is the founder Hello Seven. Her mission is to teach historically excluded groups how to end the cycle of financial stress and to build generational wealth. Rodgers is the author of ”We Should All Be Millionaires: A Woman’s Guide to Earning More, Building Wealth, and Gaining Economic Power.”

Want to land your dream job in 2024? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Ace Your Job Interview to learn what hiring managers are really looking for, body language techniques, what to say and not to say, and the best way to talk about pay. Get started today and save 50% with discount code EARLYBIRD.

Don’t miss:

  • ′It’s hard to frugal your way to early retirement,′ says self-made millionaire who retired at 34
  • Harvard-trained economist’s 21 money rules: ‘Own your home’ and ‘try to buy in cash’
  • Millionaire saved 70% of his income and retired at 35: ‘We should all live by these 6 basic rules’