The No. 1 way to get more respect at work, from a leadership expert who’s taught it for decades
Think of the difference between being in a job where you have the respect of your coworkers, and one where you don’t. The latter can undermine everything you’re working for and quickly sour an otherwise good experience.
If this is where you’re at — or you worry it could end up there — know that before you change jobs, you can change your approach. You can earn the respect of your peers, managers, and reports.
Start by asking yourself these critical questions:
- What can I give to earn respect?
- What can I resist to earn respect?
- What can I exude to earn respect?
I call this the Give-Resist-Exude framework for respect, and I’ve been teaching it for decades. Earning respect will also take a little mental strength and fortitude, something I’ve been studying for more than 30 years and wrote about in my recent book, “The Mentally Strong Leader.”
If you want to be more respected, you must do these three basic things:
1. Give
If you make a habit of giving more than you get, you’ll earn respect. Here are some of the most universally appreciated ways of doing so:
- Be generous with your time and knowledge. Help people solve problems, overcome obstacles, and navigate difficult circumstances. For example, let’s say your coworker is nervous about an upcoming big presentation. You happen to be good at public speaking, so you help them practice.
- Give others that extra 10% effort, always. Think of that smiling coffee barista or hardworking waiter you see giving that extra effort — you can’t help but respect that. Do the same in your own interactions.
- Offer praise and credit liberally. Research shows that expressing gratitude has a tremendous, positive ripple effect on others — one that can heighten their appreciation of and respect for you.
- Share your point of view — and back it up with data.
- Take the time to give feedback. Remember that specific feedback is more credible and meaningful than vague cheerleading.
- Show others respect. Doing so dramatically increases the likelihood you’ll receive respect in turn.
2. Resist
Respect comes from what you don’t engage in, too. Here are surefire ways to resist that will fuel respect:
- Resist taking credit. I’m not talking about being a martyr. But when the opportunity comes to share who did what behind that achievement, make it about them, not you. People will still know you played a role in the success, and will respect you more for putting others in the spotlight.
- Avoid gossiping about coworkers. Instead, engage in “positive gossip.” For example, the next time you have the opportunity to brag about something great a coworker did, do it. Not only is it good for the culture, but it will also eventually get back to that person that you were talking about them in a positive light. You get a “double-dip” of respect this way.
- Don’t get pulled into negativity. As I point out in “The Mentally Strong Leader,” staying positive is a choice in today’s frequently pessimistic and divided world. Remember that optimism fuels forward progress and often stands out. It may even be admired because the default is so often the opposite.
3. Exude
You can earn respect if you habitually demonstrate:
- Professionalism and mastery: Always show up having done your homework. Make sure you know who your audience is, what they need to know and experience, and how you plan to offer that to them.
- Transparency: Few things are more transparent than a lack of transparency. Human beings are attuned to this. When you’re not honest, trust evaporates and respect exits stage left. Instead, be open about why you make decisions, share feedback, and operate without hidden agendas.
- Authenticity: People want to know they’re getting the real you. So show up with honesty, integrity, and vulnerability. Behave in a genuine and approachable manner. Act consistently with your values.
- Accountability with compassion: When someone makes a mistake, it’s easy to scold or take a harsh stance. Instead, hold others, and yourself, accountable, but do so with compassion and empathy.
- Confidence and collaboration: Believe in yourself, and that the whole is made greater by the sum of its parts. Consistently demonstrating balance between the two is like a respect-magnet.
When you focus on what you can give, resist, and exude, respect will flow your way.
Scott Mautz is a popular speaker, trainer, and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He’s a former senior executive of Procter & Gamble, where he ran several of the company’s largest multi-billion-dollar businesses. He is the author of ”The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors.” Follow him on LinkedIn.
Want to be a successful, confident communicator? Take CNBC’s online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. We’ll teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, calm your nerves, what to say and not say, and body language techniques to make a great first impression. Get started today.
24-year-old made over $162,000 on YouTube in 2 years—why she decided to get a corporate job anyway
Sharon Kim credits her social media earnings for giving her the ability to purchase a $750,000 home with her brother shortly after graduating from Parsons School of Design in 2023.
However, she says the idea of earning money from content creation “is a lot more glamorized” than the reality of it.
“It’s all on you to be your own employer and gain sponsorships, affiliates and organize contracts and things like that,” the 24-year-old tells CNBC Make It.
She started her YouTube channel in 2018 when she was in high school. There, she covers topics like how she got into Parsons and why she decided to pivot from pursuing a career in fashion to working in the tech world.
Although she earned around $162,000 from the channel over the course of 2022 and 2023, Kim ultimately decided to pursue a corporate career as a UX designer for one key reason: stability.
“I made six figures from social media, but at the same time, income can be very inconsistent and in the long run, it may or may not be worth It,” she says. “Just because I had one really good year, I don’t want to assume that the next year will be just as good.”
Kim currently earns around $94,000 as a UX designer in New York City and maintains her YouTube channel on the side.
DON’T MISS: The ultimate guide to negotiating a higher salary
Although she sometimes works long hours to keep up with her social media pages on top of her 9-to-5, she reaps benefits from both.
“Something content creation gives me that corporate can’t is a sense of autonomy,” Kim says. “Although it’s more work, it gives me the satisfaction of having the best of both worlds and I’m not financially stressed because I have the stability of corporate.”
How to manage a content creation side hustle
Kim has two words of advice for anyone with a 9-to-5 job who wants to pursue content creation as well: start small.
“Don’t go all in on content creation,” she says. “I would test the waters for at least a year and see if you’re really consistent and produce the results you want from it.”
Additionally, if you’re in a corporate role, be sure to check your employer’s guidelines on social media usage and make sure you’re not disclosing private information about the company, she says.
That’s one reason Kim sticks to posting lifestyle content and tutorials, she says. It helps her avoid conflicts of interest.
“It doesn’t even have to be tutorial of like, how to build this thing, but maybe what you wish you knew before going into finance or a day in your life as an intern,” she says.
If you decide to pursue content creation while working a corporate job, surround yourself with people who have the same goals and can encourage you, Kim says.
“I was able to meet so many other friends just because of putting myself out there,” she says. “Try to meet as many people as you can because it can get super stressful if you’re doing it alone.”
Want to earn more money at work? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Negotiate a Higher Salary. Expert instructors will teach you the skills you need to get a bigger paycheck, including how to prepare and build your confidence, what to do and say, and how to craft a counteroffer. Pre-register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 50% off through Nov. 26, 2024.
A simple LinkedIn strategy helped this 25-year-old land 3 final-round interviews in weeks
Nearly anyone looking for a job today can tell you that sifting through online job postings is a nightmare. Companies have admitted to posting ghost listings with no immediate intention to hire, and job scams have surged in the last year, aided by AI.
When Natasha Badger, 25, was last on the job market, she tried a different strategy on LinkedIn and landed final-round interviews with three companies in the span of weeks. Today, it could help job-seekers bypass ghost jobs and actually reach a real hiring manager.
Badger, a digital marketer and career-content creator, quit her job with LinkedIn in September 2022 and went the typical route of applying to new ones on online job boards.
A month in, she tried a fresh approach: She began searching for posts on LinkedIn where people used the words “I’m hiring” along with other keywords and job titles related to her field.
In a video she posted to TikTok, Badger explains how she filtered the LinkedIn posts to ones made within the previous week, which led her to hiring managers and other professionals announcing new openings on their teams.
Prioritizing posts from the last seven days helped her jump on fresh vacancies as soon as they were live; it could also alert you to people urgently hiring for a role that has gone unfilled for a while.
It might take some time to sift through relevant openings in your desired location, Badger tells CNBC Make It. Beware of job scams, too.
Once she found a good hiring announcement that aligned with what she was looking for, Badger sent the person a message that said: “I found your post on LinkedIn and I’m interested in the role you’re hiring for. Could we set up a 10- to 15-minute coffee chat so I can ask you some questions about the job?”
(Save your resume for a later message, she says — sending it too early could come across as forward, and your LinkedIn profile should be up-to-date with your experience.)
Sometimes, the person would arrange a chat and then put her in touch with the recruiter afterwards; other times, the person responded with the direct application link and got her into the hiring pipeline right away.
For each coffee chat, Badger said she came prepared with a solid understanding of why the company was filling the role and what problems she’d be expected to solve.
“It’s a really big skill to be able to read a job description and understand why are you being hired, where you’re fitting into this business, and the impact that you’re going to have to make,” Badger says. Doing this research will help you show up confidently, she adds.
She also made sure to prepare questions about things she was genuinely curious about with each role and company.
Badger tried this with three companies — a big financial institution, an agency and a startup — and made it into the hiring process every time. She ended up accepting an offer with Akkio, a New York-based startup, in December 2022 and is now their digital marketing manager.
Badger acknowledges the job market has since gotten tougher for many workers since then, but things might be improving. The U.S. economy added more jobs than expected in September, and some jobs experts predict more hiring activity than usual in the last stretch of 2024.
“It really was so effective,” Badger says of the LinkedIn strategy, “and I was like, ‘How is this not something people are doing?’”
Want to earn more money at work? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Negotiate a Higher Salary. Expert instructors will teach you the skills you need to get a bigger paycheck, including how to prepare and build your confidence, what to do and say, and how to craft a counteroffer. Register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 50% off through Nov. 26, 2024.
Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.
If you want to raise kids who are mentally stronger than most, do 6 things
What if there were something you could do to help your child succeed in life, but you weren’t doing it yet?
I’m talking about helping your child become mentally stronger, which is easy to overlook with everything else that demands your parental attention. But it’s more essential than ever, given that kids face so many triggers for self-doubt, fear, and anxiety, and so many barriers to resilience, focus, and positivity.
I’ve been studying mental strength for three decades. That work recently culminated in my book “The Mentally Strong Leader.” And I’ve applied my findings both to help adults and to help parents assist their kids.
I’ve seen firsthand the impact that teaching mental strength can have: My own daughter, who learned to handle the challenging environments of middle and high school with resilience and confidence, was able to successfully transition into college and the “real world.”
You, too, can help your kids become confident, resilient, positive-minded problem-solvers. It starts by nurturing their mental strength in these six ways.
1. Kids love asking ‘Why?’ Marshall that curiosity
If you have kids, you’ve likely endured a barrage of “Why?” questions: “Why, Mommy?” “Why do we have to do that, Daddy?” “But why?”
Take that inquisitive spirit and put it to good use. Teach kids to be good problem solvers by using the Five Whys analytical approach pioneered by Japanese inventor and industrialist Sakichi Toyoda, whose son established the automaker Toyota.
Foster kids’ instinct to keep asking, “Why?” until they get to the root of a problem. Often, the root cause emerges around the fifth repetition of the question.
Say they aren’t getting their allowance this week, for example, which is a problem for them. Help them get analytical as follows, maybe even making a game out of it:
- Why aren’t you getting your allowance? Because you didn’t wash the dishes like you said you would.
- Why didn’t you wash the dishes? Because you played video games instead.
- Why were you playing video games when you knew you shouldn’t be? Because you didn’t put them away. They were in front of the TV, ready to go.
- Why didn’t you put them away when I told you to? Because you weren’t listening.
- Why weren’t you listening? Because that’s a bad habit you need to work on.
The point is, problem-solving starts by digging into why an issue occurred, so you can address the root cause. Help your child build this habit when they’re analyzing any problem, and you help them become mentally stronger.
2. Help them focus on authenticity, not approval
Kids seek their parents’ approval. It’s natural. But approval-seeking becomes unhealthy when it turns into a constant search for external validation. You can begin to migrate away from your authentic self.
Help your children measure their performance against their own expectations rather than seeking a stamp of approval from other people.
Instead of determining if they lived up to someone else’s standards, encourage them to consider: “Did I accomplish what I set out to do?” and “Am I becoming a better version of myself?”
3. Help them put social media in context
You probably already know that it’s smart to put limits on how much time your kids spend on social media — and how much time you spend on there, too. That doesn’t make it easy.
As you talk with your kids about the social media they do encounter, remind them not to compare their bloopers to everyone else’s highlight reels. Help them understand that influencers often post carefully tailored impressions that don’t reflect real life, and that they shouldn’t hold themselves to the impossible standards they come across.
Encourage them to view social media as largely entertainment, rather than a measuring stick. This can help prevent or at least soften feelings of inadequacy that might otherwise arise.
4. Help them focus on process versus outcome
When kids focus too much on the outcome of their efforts, it can lead to perfectionism. Instead, teach them to fall in love with the process.
Especially when they’re encountering setbacks in their efforts, ask them:
- “Are you learning along the way here?”
- “Are you having fun?”
- “Are you growing and improving?”
That’s the real victory, and by asking these questions, you help them focus on the positives of the journey.
By no means am I saying they shouldn’t strive for a great outcome. But becoming overzealous about results can eat away at kids’ mental strength because so many factors besides effort can influence the outcome.
5. Don’t let them get stuck in ‘it’s not fair’
It’s important to help keep children from falling into a victim mentality, which can make them feel and act as if they’re powerless. Here’s one key question to ask them in such times: “Do you just want things to change, or do you want to change them?”
The former is passive and can induce prolonged periods of wallowing in the sense that “it’s not fair.” The latter is proactive and helps turn your kids into change-leaders. That can build up their mental strength.
6. Help them focus on what they can control
A great source of anxiety for kids can come from worrying about things they can’t change.
You can conduct “Control Checks” with them. Ask them to write down all the things they’re worried about. Then ask them to circle only what they can control and discuss with them how they could do something about those items.
Mental strength has a lot to do with putting your energy where it serves you best. This exercise works to narrow down a kid’s universe of worry and helps them put energy toward taking action that will improve their circumstance, which can further ease their worry.
Scott Mautz is a popular speaker, trainer, and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He’s a former senior executive of Procter & Gamble, where he ran several of the company’s largest multi-billion-dollar businesses. He is the author of ”The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors.” Follow him on LinkedIn.
Want to be a successful, confident communicator? Take CNBC’s online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. We’ll teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, calm your nerves, what to say and not say, and body language techniques to make a great first impression. Get started today.
An abandoned high school turned $3.3M apartment complex—and more multimillion-dollar dream homes
What lengths would you go to for your dream house?
Would you move to another country? How about remodeling the interior of a space that was never meant to be a home at all?
For the Americans who invited CNBC Make It into their homes for an Unlocked tour, thinking outside the box helped them turn unexpected spaces like abandoned lighthouses, old baseball stadiums and decrepit Italian properties into the homes of their dreams.
Take a look inside some of the most unique homes we’ve toured and learn how they came to be.
An abandoned baseball stadium is now a $14 million luxury apartment complex
When Michael Cox first told people about his plan to convert a former Indianapolis baseball stadium into a 138-unit apartment complex, they thought he was crazy.
But after a $14 million renovation and remodeling, Stadium Lofts is now one of the most unique apartment complexes in the city.
The former stadium, which was home to the Indianapolis Indians from 1931 to 1996 before eventually falling into disrepair, was in danger of being torn down before Cox’s plan was put into effect.
Along with business partner John Watson and his two sons, Cox acquired the landmark property for just $1.
The stadium’s renovation began in August 2011 and was completed in a little under two years. By the time it opened in July 2013, all 138 apartments had been leased.
It was converted into 95 one-bedroom apartments, 26 two-bedroom apartments, and 17 lofts. Rent in the complex ranges from $900 to $1,700 and each apartment has a washer and dryer.
The developers made sure to keep certain features in honor of the ballpark’s past, including the original scoreboard, old ticket booths and press box. They even put bases back on the field.
“We designed it such that when you walked in, you felt like you were walking into a historic stadium rather than an apartment building,” Watson said.
They turned an old school into a 31-unit apartment building
Jesse Wig never set out to remodel an abandoned school, but when he was approached with an off-market deal to buy the property in 2019 he was intrigued by the space’s potential.
After enlisting real estate investor Adam Colucci and developer Dan Spanovich, the trio bought the abandoned Bowtie High for $100,000. They embarked on an 18-month renovation beginning in 2020 to turn it into an apartment building.
The $3.3 million renovation’s price tag was more than they ever expected to pay, but once leasing began they reached full occupancy within six months.
Monthly rent for one-bedrooms in the building starts at $1,400, while two-bedrooms start at $1,600.
Some units that used to be classrooms have the original chalkboards and an enviable amount of natural light, thanks to massive windows throughout the space.
Apartments are also equipped with stainless steel appliances, in-unit washers and dryers, and walk-in closets.
After Bowtie High, the team decided to buy and renovate the abandoned school across the street, turning it into a 33-unit apartment building with amenities like a rooftop deck, indoor parking and lounge.
A pilot pays $4,000/month to live in a residential airpark
When test pilot Joe Sobczak was looking for a new home, he wasn’t worried about square footage or backyard space. Instead, he wanted a property where he could keep his plane.
In 2017, he found what he was looking for at a residential airpark at the Pine Mountain Lake Airport and bought his 3-bedroom, 7-bathroom, 5,000-square-foot home with a 3,600-square-foot hangar for $698,000.
The community where he lives has dozens of homes with hangars, each with their own deeded access to uses the taxiways and runways at the Tuolumne County airport.
As a test pilot, Sobczak works primarily out of the San Francisco International Airport (SFO). Instead of doing the three-hour drive, he jumps in one of his airplanes and takes a 45-minute flight to nearby San Carlos Airport and drives 15 minutes to SFO.
Although Sobczak owns three homes, he calls this one his favorite. The former U.S. Air Force fighter jet pilot is an expert at the rural lifestyle and has no plans to leave anytime soon.
“I plan on being here for quite a while,” he says. “I can live up here. Fly airplanes. Stay out of the congestion of the Bay Area. Breathe the fresh air and take a trip to Yosemite in 30 minutes. It’s all the justification I need.”
She bought an old lighthouse for $71,000 and spent $300,000 turning it into a home
In 2009, Sheila Consaul’s search for a second home took an unexpected turn. Though the 65-year-old communications consultant was originally looking for a normal house, when she learned that the U.S. government was auctioning off lighthouses she was immediately interested.
Congress passed the National Historic Lighthouse Preservation Act in 2000. It allows the government to auction or give away “federally-owned historic light stations that have been declared excess to the needs of the responsible agency.”
Consaul had previously restored a historic home and was intrigued by the challenges that renovating a lighthouse would pose.
Built in 1925, the three-story lighthouse has three bedrooms, three bathrooms and is almost 3,000 square feet. Consaul is the first person to live in the lighthouse since it was abandoned in the late 1940s.
She lives in the lighthouse from May to October and it sits empty when she’s at her primary home outside of Washington D.C.
Consaul started renovating in the summer of 2012, and over 10 years later, the project is almost done. “The renovation process has been long and arduous,” she said.
The property is a half mile from the nearest parking lot in Headlands Beach State Park, so big appliances like the stove and refrigerator needed to be transported by boat and then delivered by crane onto the platform of the lighthouse.
Despite going over her initial $200,000 renovation budget, for Consaul the time and effort has been worth it. “This was a great challenge, a great opportunity, and I loved every minute of it,” she said.
These Americans bought an abandoned home in Italy for $1 and spent $35,000 renovating it
Rubia Daniels was thrilled at the chance to purchase a building in Sicility for the low price of 1 euro. The only catch? The property had extensive mold, water damage, a termite infestation and a collapsed roof.
The deal was part of an Italian initiative to attract foreign investors in towns with dwindling populations. In exchange for the symbolic price tag, homebuyers are expected to renovate their homes within three years.
Daniels told Make It that she didn’t just see endless amounts of work in front of her when she looked at the three run down buildings she purchased. Instead, she visualized the final result of a trio of dream projects: a vacation home, a restaurant and a wellness center.
Daniels is building the house of her dreams, “which I wouldn’t be able to do back in California because the cost would be much higher,” she said. Daniels plans to visit her Italian home for vacations and split her time between California and Sicily in retirement.
Want to earn more money at work? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Negotiate a Higher Salary. Expert instructors will teach you the skills you need to get a bigger paycheck, including how to prepare and build your confidence, what to do and say, and how to craft a counteroffer. Pre-register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 50% off through Nov. 26, 2024.
Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.