Raising a child in today’s fast-paced, achievement-driven world is no small feat. While many parents focus on grades and extracurriculars, one of the most overlooked skills is emotional intelligence.

This doesn’t just help kids excel socially; it helps them grow into resilient, empathetic, and successful adults who can navigate challenges with confidence, foster meaningful relationships, and lead fulfilling lives.

So, what do parents who raise emotionally intelligent kids do differently? After years of studying over 200 parent-child relationships — and from practicing healthy habits with my own child — I’ve uncovered seven powerful strategies that these parents embraced early on.

They gave their child space to process their feelings and trust their inner voice. When their child was upset, they sat quietly beside them, offering comfort without words. Embracing silence can help children better navigate and reflect on their emotions.

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By verbally sharing feelings — like “I’m frustrated” or “I’m happy” — they taught their children emotional awareness and gave them words to express themselves. This helped their children see emotions as normal and share them openly rather than suppressing them.

They showed their child that mistakes are part of life and taking responsibility is a strength. Apologizing built trust and showed respect, making their child feel valued. It also modeled empathy and taught them how to repair relationships.

This might sound unconventional, but they knew kindness and respect can’t be forced. Instead, they modeled these behaviors, trusting their child to learn by example. If their child forgot to say thank you, the parent said it for them, confident the lesson would stick over time.

This takes a lot of bravery! But as a parenting coach, I’ve never told my 6-year-old to say please or thank you. Now he says it all the time on his own — because he hears me say it.

They took their child’s concerns seriously, whether it was a lost toy or trouble with a friend. By validating their feelings, they showed their child that emotions matter. This fostered self-worth, emotional safety, and respect for their experiences.

The best way to teach decision-making is to encourage children to make their own decisions. Instead of fixing problems, they asked, “What do you think we should do?” This helped boost critical thinking, confidence, and independence.

They let their child get bored, which helped them become comfortable with stillness. This built creativity, self-regulation and problem-solving skills. Their child learned to enjoy their own company and find joy in simple moments, like staring out the car window instead of needing a screen.

• Modeling the behaviors you want to see: Express your emotions openly, apologize when you make mistakes, and show kindness and empathy in your interactions.
• Validate your child’s feelings, no matter how small they may seem, and give them the space to process those emotions without rushing to fix or dismiss them. 
• Encourage problem-solving by asking open-ended questions instead of providing all the answers.
• Let them experience moments of stillness or boredom to build creativity and self-regulation.

Most importantly, focus on building a relationship rooted in respect and trust — because emotional intelligence starts with feeling safe, valued, and understood.

Reem Raouda is a certified conscious parenting coach, mother, and creator of BOUND — the first and only parent-child connection journal designed to nurture emotional intelligence and self-worth in children. She has transformed hundreds of families through her courses, coaching and tools. Follow her on Instagram. 

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In the age of artificial intelligence, being knowledgeable — memorizing facts, or knowing where to go find them — isn’t nearly as valuable as learning how to ask great questions, says OpenAI CEO Sam Altman.

“There will be a kind of ability we still really value, but it will not be raw, intellectual horsepower to the same degree,” Altman told Wharton organizational psychologist Adam Grant’s “ReThinking” podcast, in an episode that published last week. “Figuring out what questions to ask will be more important than figuring out the answer.”

Understanding how to ask thought-provoking questions, especially when trying to understand or add broader context to an idea, is already an important skill, Grant noted.

“We used to put a premium on how much knowledge you had collected in your brain, and if you were a fact collector, that made you smart and respected,” said Grant. “Now, I think it’s much more valuable to be a connector of dots … If you can synthesize and recognize patterns, you have an edge.”

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Altman’s observation could be interpreted in a couple ways: ask other people great questions, or design questions for AI chatbots so they’ll give you the answers you need, a process known as prompt engineering. (OpenAI didn’t immediately respond to CNBC Make It’s request for clarification.)

Asking other people clear, concise questions can show empathy or establish your credibility, communication expert Matt Abrahams told CNBC Make It last year. And prompt engineers are in “crazy demand,” Lydia Logan, IBM’s vice president of global education and workforce development, said in June, with some jobs paying over $100,000 a year.

Altman isn’t the only entrepreneur preaching the career value of soft skills. Curiosity, adaptability and mental agility are the three top skills young people need to land jobs, both today and in the future job market, billionaire investor Mark Cuban told CNBC Make It last year.

“I can pretend that I’m going to be able to predict where AI’s going and the exact impact on the job market, but I’d be lying. I have no idea,” Cuban said. “But I do know that I am going to pay attention, and be agile, and be curious, and be able to adapt.”

Recruiters are particularly looking for adaptability among job applicants right now, with employers placing a premium on workers who can adjust to new situations over time, according to a LinkedIn blog post published last year.

AI could eventually take over most workplaces’ administrative tasks, but it won’t entirely replace human intellect, Altman predicted. Instead, people will need to help the technology learn critical thinking skills to strengthen arguments and come up with new ideas, he said.

“I have certainly gotten the greatest professional joy from having to really creatively reason through a problem and figure out an answer that no one’s figured out before,” said Altman, adding: “What I expect to happen in reality is, there’s going to be a new way we work on the hard problems.”

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Bill Gates worries that kids today may miss out on a key advantage he had. The billionaire credits his successful career, in part, to having the freedom, and free time, in his youth to explore the world around him, to read and to think deeply without more modern distractions like smartphones and social media.

Today’s kids spend less time outside, exploring and playing with friends, than previous generations, thanks to the ubiquity of smartphones and social media. 

That switch from a “play-based childhood” to one that’s “phone-based” has triggered a cultural shift that’s behind rising rates of mental health issues in younger generations, along with other negative effects on kids’ ability to learn and socialize, according to social psychologist Jonathan Haidt’s 2024 best-selling book “The Anxious Generation.”

Gates called the book a “must-read” for anyone with young people in their lives in a December blog post. He questioned whether he would have developed some of the habits and skills that were “crucial to my success later on” if he’d grown up in a world where smartphones and social media were everywhere.

About 95% of U.S. teens have regular access to a smartphone today, according to a 2024 Pew Research Center study, up from just 23% in 2011 — and, the majority of them are active on social media. 

The result is more kids wiling away hours indoors scrolling through addictive apps, leaving much less time for free-play and socializing out of the house, says Zach Rausch, lead researcher to Haidt and an associate research scientist at NYU-Stern School of Business.

“There is just so much time being pulled by products that are intentionally designed to pull you in and keep you on there for as long as they can — and that has enormous implications,” Rausch says. 

In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy warned against the mental health risks of young people constantly using social media and smartphones, citing studies showing it can lead to higher rates of anxiety and depression. Haidt and Rausch also point to the effects on attention spans, with kids having difficulty focusing for long periods of time, whether it be in school or even when they need to sit down and read a book.

“We’re constantly being pulled back to our devices through notifications [and] a whole world happening in our pockets throughout the school day, which then makes it really hard … to stay focused on something,” Rausch says. ”[It’s] a serious issue that young people, in particular, have been growing up never experiencing what it’s like to just sit and pay attention for a long period of time.”

Social development tends to suffer when children are constantly on a device instead of interacting in person, research has shown.

“Kids are spending much less time being with each other, engaging with each other, which is crucial for social development,” says Rausch, citing research showing the benefits of free play and in-person interactions, including increased creativity and resilience, as well as better developed social skills and conflict resolution. 

“It becomes much harder to [develop] those skills as you get older,” he adds. “So what we’re seeing is that kids are taking fewer risks. They feel more socially anxious, and generally it’s harder to move from childhood and into adulthood.”

To help today’s youth develop those necessary skills, and to hopefully address one factor in the teen mental health crisis, Rausch and Haidt advocate for “four new norms” that parents should try to make smartphones and social media less of a ubiquitous presence in their kids’ everyday lives. They are:

1. No smartphones for kids before high school, or age 14

Haidt and Raush suggests kids only have simple flip phones for texts and calls starting in middle school.

2. No social media before age 16

While most social media platforms set their minimum age requirements at 13, those can often be bypassed. Public health experts have made it clear that regular social media use by young people can affect brain development and increase mental health risks. 

“Unfettered access [to social media] should probably be delayed for as long as possible — certainly, until at least 16,” Dr. Mitch Prinstein, a clinical psychologist who serves as the American Psychological Association’s chief science officer, told CNBC Make It in 2023.

3. Ban smartphones in schools

The school day should be focused on “learning and paying attention,” Rausch says. That’s only possible if you eliminate the distraction of students being glued to their devices. That would have the benefit of blocking out several smartphone-free hours a day, which would promote focus and in-person socialization, he argues.

4. More free play and independence for kids of all ages

Refocusing on “play-based childhoods” can start at school, where Rausch notes that recess periods have been getting shorter. “Recess is critical for kids’ development. Let’s extend recess [and] give more independence during that time,” he says.

Parents can encourage kids to explore phone-free activities that build their independence, Rausch says. It may sound daunting, but giving a nudge might actually be effective, considering that 38% of teens told the Pew Research Center that they believe they spend too much time on their phones. 

In 2017, Haidt co-founded an initiative called Let Grow that offers resources like research on the benefits of unstructured play, along with ideas and “assignments” that parents and schools can give to kids to encourage safe and independent activities without phones. That could mean a solo trip to the grocery store to pick up ingredients to bake something on their own, Rausch says.

“They go home and they do something on their own, without their parents, but with their parents’ permission,” Rausch says. “And what they often find is that this is an incredible way to help parents, especially, see that their child is much more capable of doing things out in the real world …. That really starts to open doors [and] makes the real world much more enticing and exciting for kids.”

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This story is part of CNBC Make It’s Ditching the Degree series, where women who have built six-figure careers without a bachelor’s degree reveal the secrets of their success. Got a story to tell? Let us know! Email us at AskMakeIt@cnbc.com.

Ten years ago, Shanelle Gibson was working 12-hour shifts sorting and folding clothes in a warehouse. She almost gave up on finding her dream job.

Gibson, then 23, watched online as her friends celebrated graduating from college, landing their first corporate jobs and moving to new cities. 

Gibson nearly joined them. She spent one year studying at Valdosta State University in Valdosta, Georgia before dropping out, as she couldn’t stomach the debt she’d accrue pursuing a bachelor’s degree. 

That decision marked the start of what Gibson calls her “soul-searching years,” a period in her early 20s filled with “hard, unfulfilling” jobs after leaving school and moving to Atlanta. 

She worked in a warehouse, a pizza kitchen, a day care, and even spent six months in the Air Force before being discharged for medical reasons. Yet nothing clicked.

Looking back, Gibson says she doesn’t regret those years. They ultimately led her to a career she loves in tech and product development.

Gibson has been working in tech since 2016. Now 33, she’s a lead scrum master at a small health-care firm, working full time from her home in Loganville, Georgia. 

She earns about $132,000 in her role, according to financial documents reviewed by CNBC Make It — a salary that Gibson says would have been “unimaginable” at this point in her career, had she continued working in the jobs she had in her 20s, which paid no more than $15 an hour. 

Here’s how Gibson pivoted her career and earns six figures without a bachelor’s degree:

One morning in 2015, during yet another long shift at the warehouse, Gibson says she looked up from the pair of chinos she was folding and had a sudden realization: She’d been approaching her career all wrong.

“I just had this ‘aha moment’ where I looked around at these mountains of boxes and tired people working alongside me and thought, ’I shouldn’t be here, I feel like I’m destined for more than this minimum wage job I’m not happy in,” Gibson recalls. “That propelled me to quit and just start applying everywhere.”

Desperate for a change, she posted her resume on Craigslist. A manager at ParkingSoft, a parking management software startup, saw her resume and invited her to interview for an open phone dispatcher role at their Atlanta office.

Gibson landed the job and quickly stood out. Within weeks, she was promoted to customer support analyst after her boss noticed how she proactively solved customer problems instead of merely forwarding calls to the service team.

“That job started my tech career,” she says. “All of the technical skills I learned doing that job – from SQL [a programming language] to JIRA [project tracking software] made me a more confident, competitive candidate for higher-paying tech jobs, even without a degree.” 

After leaving ParkingSoft in 2019, Gibson spent the next two years in various technical support and project management roles at companies like Ceredian Dayforce and United Healthcare. 

But over time, she grew restless with the monotony of customer support tasks.

A friend suggested she explore becoming a scrum master, a role focused on coaching product development teams and guiding Agile processes — a framework for flexible, iterative project management. 

The idea appealed to Gibson, who wanted more challenging work that leveraged her problem-solving skills. In 2021, Gibson earned her scrum master certification through Scrum Alliance, completing a two-day course that cost about $400. 

Shortly after, she landed her first scrum master role at UnitedHealthcare. In 2022, she joined her current company as a lead scrum master.

Gibson maintains a typical 9-to-5 schedule while working from home, sometimes logging on earlier or later, depending on her workload.

“It’s honestly the perfect job for an introvert like me,” she says. “I concentrate better in quiet spaces, it allows me to be more creative; I don’t need to be the most outspoken or energetic person to be a great scrum master.”

It’s also the first job where Gibson earns more than $100,000 a year. For her, crossing the six-figure threshold was “pretty shocking,” she says. 

“I knew that I was capable and hardworking, but society tells us that you need a college degree to land a high-paying job,” she continues. “Hitting that milestone helped me realize that there’s no special formula to earning six figures; it’s up to you to decide how hard you’re willing to work toward that goal and not let something like a degree requirement limit you.”

The technical skills Gibson learned in the scrum master course — working in different Agile software, and online project management — played a big role in her ability to transition into this field without a bachelor’s degree. Equally important, however, were the soft skills she developed in retail and customer service, including problem-solving and time management.

Gibson’s biggest piece of advice for others hoping to land a high-paying job without a bachelor’s degree? Don’t underestimate the value of your transferable skills, and the power of a positive mindset in chasing your career goals. 

“Whether you succeed in college or not doesn’t define who you are as a person,” she says. “You can read books, and take boot camps online, there are so many ways to improve your skills. Whatever it is that you want to do, if you have the right attitude and put the work in, you’ll achieve it.”

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“What did I do today to grow mentally stronger?” I ask myself this question daily, and it’s not just a feel-good exercise — it’s a strategic tool that enhances self-awareness and resilience. 

As I explain in my “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do Workbook,” reflecting on this every day has been a game-changer for me. It shifts the way I approach challenges in the short-term and pushes me toward personal and professional growth in the long run. 

The same question has been a catalyst for change in the lives of many of my clients, who learn to take control of situations that once felt overwhelming.

Early in my career as a therapist, I hit a wall. Despite my best efforts to help my clients, some of them weren’t improving as fast as I had hoped. When I doubted my effectiveness, I turned to my supervisor for guidance. 

She said something I’ll never forget: “Are you sharpening your skills every day? Because that’s what you have control over — not whether your clients improve.”

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I couldn’t control every variable in my clients’ lives, but I could control my own growth. That’s when I started asking myself daily: “What did I do to grow mentally stronger today?”

It forced me to review my day through the lens of strength. Did I exhibit patience during a frustrating moment? Did I challenge a negative thought instead of letting it spiral? Did I do the difficult thing even when I didn’t feel like it? 

Over time, this daily reflection built my awareness and confidence. My nighttime check-ins became the foundation for my mental strength.

Take one young professional I worked with who struggled with anxiety, particularly in social settings at work. She spent hours every evening fixated on conversations she’d had during the day, replaying moments when she thought she’d said the “wrong” thing. 

Reflecting on her mental strength every night helped her reframe her thoughts. She shifted her focus to moments when she did something courageous. 

For example, she started celebrating the fact that she spoke up in meetings — even when she felt terrified. As she spent less time worrying that she’d misspoken, she gained confidence, reduced her anxiety, and stopped overthinking every word she said. 

I also introduced this concept to a single father who was navigating the challenges of parenting while juggling a demanding career. 

He used to end his days berating himself for not being a good enough parent. But by reflecting on his moments of strength — like managing to stay calm even during his three-year-old’s temper tantrum — he built a stronger sense of self-compassion and confidence. 

This exercise only takes a few minutes, but it’s powerful when practiced daily. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you use it.

1. Focus on what you can control 

There’s a lot you can’t control in life — other people’s actions, unexpected setbacks, the weather. 

This question reminds you to focus instead on the actions you took. Rather than ruminating about what went wrong, you’re celebrating what you did right. This shifts your energy toward solutions and empowers you to keep improving. 

2. Always strive to grow 

Building mental strength isn’t a one-time goal — it’s a lifelong practice. By asking this question every single day, you’re holding yourself accountable to grow, whether that’s through small wins or bigger breakthroughs. 

Over time, even small efforts compound, helping you be more resilient when challenges arise. 

3. Enhance your self-awareness

When you make it a habit to reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and behavior, you develop a clearer understanding of yourself. You learn what strategies work best to calm your nerves, boost your confidence, or tackle stress. 

This kind of self-awareness is a core component of mental strength, and it helps you better manage your emotions and relationships. 

4. Stay optimistic 

Being mentally strong isn’t about being perfect — it’s about making progress, learning from mistakes, and navigating life’s inevitable curveballs.

When tough moments threaten to overshadow all the good things you accomplish, this question brings your focus back and helps you notice what matters. 

Every time you answer it, you’re feeding yourself a little dose of optimism.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, clinical social worker and instructor at Northeastern University. She is the author of several books including ”13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.″ Her TEDx talk “The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong” is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Follow her on Instagram and Facebook.

Want to up your AI skills and be more productive? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Use AI to Be More Successful at Work. Expert instructors will teach you how to get started, practical uses, tips for effective prompt-writing, and mistakes to avoid. Pre-register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+ taxes and fees) through February 11, 2025.