If you’ve ever found yourself re-reading text messages, replaying conversations in your head, or getting second and third opinions about what happened between you and a partner, you might have been a victim of gaslighting.

The term, which originally appeared in a 1938 play about a husband who convinces his wife she is going insane, now refers to being misled and manipulated for someone else’s gain.

When it comes to romantic relationships it can be especially damaging to your confidence, says Grace Lee, a New York City-based dating coach and founder of A Good First Date.

“Gaslighting is so awful because it really undermines the relationship we have with ourselves,” she says.

You start to question your own judgement and whether you interpreted certain actions correctly.

On top of being emotionally damaging, it’s also “extremely hard to call out,” says Vanessa Kennedy, the director of psychology at Driftwood Recovery.

“At the beginning of a relationship gaslighting behavior and manipulation is intermittent,” she says. “Someone who engages in gaslighting is, at the beginning, making subtle attempts to get you to question your competence or your memory, but they might alternate that behavior with love bombing. It makes it very confusing.”

There are some phrases, though, that should raise red flags if used early on in a courtship.

If you’re on a date and they make a rude comment, but say it was for your own benefit, this is an early sign of gaslighting.

Kennedy gives this example: You and your partner or potential partner are at a party and they make a negative comment about how much you’ve eaten.

“If they say something hurtful to you like that, later on they may reframe that event as ‘I was trying to help you. I was trying to give you that feedback so that other people wouldn’t perceive that you were eating too much because I care about you and I don’t want other people to make fun of you,’” she says.

This couches the comment in care while also making you feel insecure.

Someone who engages in gaslighting behavior will make you second-guess your emotional response.

Phrases like “That’s not the way I meant it” or “You’re being sensitive” are intended to “make you question, whether you may be overreacting to something that should be taken more lightly when, in reality, their behavior is crossing a boundary or harmful to you,” Kennedy says.

Expressing yourself to a gaslighting partner will start to feel unsafe because they consistently downplay any harm they might have caused.

If you tell them that you’re upset, they’ll likely bring up “big picture” issues and say something like, “In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a big deal.”

“The behavior is intended to control the other person and ultimately make them more dependent on the gaslighter for reassurance or security,” Kennedy says.

If you feel belittled when communicating how a potential partner’s actions affected you, these are early signs that they might not be able to engage in a healthy partnership right now.

And while conflict is inevitable, there are more productive ways to resolve problems.

In her new book “Talk: The Science Of Conversation And The Art of Being Ourselves,” Harvard Business School professor Alison Wood Brooks, offers guidance on how to navigate uncomfortable conversations.

“It’s not a sporadic challenge that romantic couples have to deal with,” she says. “They need a tool kit that they have ready for almost every interaction so that they can confront these difficult moments whenever they pop up.”

People who are good finding a solution use these three steps to handle conflict :

1. Repeat back what you said. This signals they understand what you’re saying and gives you a chance to correct them.
2. Validate your feelings. “They do a really good job affirming the other person and validating their feelings, even if they really, vehemently disagree with them,” Brooks says.
3. Tell their side of the story. Once they have completely validated your emotions, they calmly express their own reasoning.

By focusing on how you both can resolve a skirmish, as opposed to convincing you that they did nothing wrong, they can show you that they are equipped to handle any miscommunications that crop up.

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Kids who communicate well, handle emotions effectively and build healthy relationships aren’t just naturally skilled at social interactions. They’ve learned these skills from their parents or trusted adults.

I’ve worked with thousands of kids and families, often helping them navigate tough moments. People skills — like empathy, communication, boundary-setting and conflict resolution — are crucial during life’s biggest challenges. They also shape how kids handle everyday stress, friendships and family dynamics. 

Here are six things that parents who raise kids with strong people skills do on a regular basis:

Rather than shielding their kids and avoiding difficult topics like illness, death or big life changes, these parents build trusting relationships by approaching tough conversations with openness, honesty and compassion.

They use simple, clear language and invite questions, teaching children that it’s okay to talk about uncomfortable topics and to seek support. 

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Parents who create a home environment where kids feel safe expressing their thoughts and emotions raise children who have an easier time communicating and advocating for themselves. 

These parents are comfortable naming and showing their own emotions in front of their kids, including joy and playfulness in difficult times. 

When their children feel frustrated, sad or overwhelmed, they don’t dismiss those emotions or say things like, “Don’t cry,” “It’s not a big deal,” or “You’re okay.” Instead, they validate their child’s experience:

• “It’s okay to cry. I’m here with you.”
• “I see you’re feeling upset.”
• “Your feelings make sense.”

This teaches kids that all feelings are okay, helps them learn and practice coping strategies to regulate their emotions, and allows them to feel safe expressing themselves. 

When conflicts or challenges arise, these parents don’t force quick apologies. Instead, they guide their children to consider the other person’s feelings, asking questions like:

• “How do you think your friend feels about what just happened?”
• “Does your sibling seem okay right now?”
• “What do you think would help them feel better?”

This helps kids develop perspective-taking skills, gives them a better understanding of what’s within their control, and shows them how both their actions and external factors impact others — ultimately making their apologies more meaningful and their relationships stronger.

Rather than immediately stepping in to fix conflicts or ease discomfort, these parents empower their kids to navigate challenges themselves. Instead of dictating solutions, they ask:

• “What do you think we could try to make this better?”
• “Would you like some ideas, or do you want to try something first?”

They help their children recognize when they need to set a boundary, teaching them to express limits clearly and respectfully:

• “I don’t like that. Please stop.”
• “I need some space right now.”
• “I’m not comfortable with that.”

By combining problem-solving with boundary-setting, parents help their kids develop the confidence to advocate for themselves and work through social challenges. They also recognize that not every situation has a clear solution or a quick fix — and in those moments, they focus on providing support. 

Instead of pushing their kids into new interactions and hoping they’ll figure it out, these parents set kids up for success by preparing them ahead of time and giving them opportunities to practice.

They help their kids feel more confident by:

• Talking about what to expect before a new event, like a medical procedure or birthday party: “We’re going to the doctor for a check-up. They’ll measure how you’re growing, listen to your heart and lungs, and look inside your ears, nose, and mouth.”
• Role-playing tricky interactions, such as advocating for their needs. “Let’s practice what you might say if someone keeps asking why you can’t eat the cupcake.”
• Teaching them how to set boundaries in social situations: “If someone is pressuring you to do something that feels unsafe or unkind, what can you say?”

Play isn’t just about having fun. The parents I’ve seen raise socially and emotionally skilled kids aren’t afraid to be silly, but they also understand that play is a child’s natural way of processing emotions, working through challenges, and building relationships. They:

• Engage in play to help kids work through tricky situations or feelings: “Whoa! Lets get those mad feelings out in a safe way. Can you pretend to be a bear or imagine blowing out birthday candles!?”
• Prioritize unstructured play time for kids to feel connected and build their own creativity, cooperation and confidence: “You have my undivided attention right now. What would you like to play? I want you to be in charge of the game.” 
• Use playful moments to prepare for new experiences and teach boundaries, empathy and communication: “Teddy needs a check up! Can you play doctor with him?”

By valuing play, these parents establish connection and trust while helping their kids develop social and emotional skills that are critical for their growth and development — and will serve them for a lifetime. 

Kelsey Mora is Certified Child Life Specialist and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who provides custom support, guidance, and resources to parents, families, and communities impacted by medical conditions, trauma, grief, and everyday life stress. She is a private practice owner, mom of two, the creator and author of The Method Workbooks, and the Chief Clinical Officer of the nonprofit organization Pickles Group.

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Few shareholder reports from publicly traded companies are quite so anticipate as the annual letter penned by Berkshire Hathaway CEO and chairman Warren Buffett.

Buffett published his latest edition over the weekend, and like most of his yearly missives, it’s worth reading even if you don’t own a single Berkshire share. His warm, approachable writing consistently contains wisdom that anyone interested in building wealth can learn from.

“Our goal is to communicate with you in a manner that we would wish you to use if our positions were reversed – that is, if you were Berkshire’s CEO while I and my family were passive investors, trusting you with our savings,” Buffett writes.

Here are a few key lessons from this year’s letter.

Investing mistakes are a running theme in this year’s letter, and Buffett admits to having made many of them — including the decision to buy Berkshire Hathaway, a textiles firm at the time, in 1962.

“Though the price I paid for Berkshire looked cheap, its business — a large northern textile operation — was headed for extinction,” Buffett writes. Buffett spent years trying to reviving Berkshire rather than focusing on building his insurance business, a move he estimates cost him $200 billion.

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When it comes to dealing with investing mistakes you’ve made, Buffett recalls advice from his longtime business partner Charlie Munger: “The cardinal sin is delaying the correction of mistakes or what Charlie Munger called ‘thumb-sucking.’ Problems, he would tell me, cannot be wished away. They require action, however uncomfortable that may be.”

For the average investor, that may mean giving up on a losing stock if your thesis behind owning it has changed radically for the worst. For a company as large as Berkshire Hathaway, action isn’t as quick or drastic — billions of dollars need to be moved around.

Still, if Buffett decides that an investment has unfixable issues, he cuts bait. “In reality, Berkshire almost never sells controlled businesses unless we face what we believe to be unending problems,” he writes.

Much has been made of Berkshire’s $334 billion cash reserve — a record high for the company and a sign, according to some analysts, that Buffett is bearish on stocks or, at the very least, views the market as overvalued.

If Buffett’s cash reserve is telling us that stocks are expensive, analysts say, a correction may be on the way. But the man himself would likely tell you that abandoning stocks in favor of bonds or cash is a losing strategy over the long term.

“Despite what some commentators currently view as an extraordinary cash position at Berkshire, the great majority of your money remains in equities,” Buffett tells shareholders. “That preference won’t change.”

Buffett notes that periods of runaway inflation can erode the value of currency and even undermine the usefulness of bonds. Even in the face of a volatile economy, businesses can continue to earn profits — a convention that can help holders of those companies’ stock build long-term wealth, he adds.

He’s repeatedly urged investors to do the same by buying low-cost index funds that track the performance of the broad U.S. stock market. “Consistently buy an S&P 500 low-cost index fund,” Buffett told CNBC in 2017. “I think it’s the thing that makes the most sense practically all of the time.”

Buffett prefers to buy companies that trade cheaply compared to their intrinsic value, a strategy known as value investing. While he repeatedly extolls the virtues of the U.S. stock market in his letters, he’s happy to look elsewhere if he thinks excellent businesses are trading on the cheap.

To that end, Berkshire bought shares in five large Japanese firms in 2019, and has since increased those stakes. “We simply looked at their financial records and were amazed at the low prices of their stocks,” Buffett writes. “As the years have passed, our admiration for these companies has consistently grown.”

Buffett lauds these firms’ prudent capital deployment, respectful attitude toward shareholders and modest approach to executive pay. But many Japanese stocks are cheap for a reason: The country has spent decades in an economic malaise. And four of those companies’ stocks have struggled over the past year, sliding as much as 24% in one case.

Value investors typically view such struggles as opportunities. Re-evaluate your reason for buying your holdings in the first place, and if the company’s fundamentals are still strong — growing earnings, a stable balance sheet and durable competitive advantage over peers, for instance — you shouldn’t worry about short-term movements in stock price, investing professionals say.

That’s why Buffett likely isn’t sweating the recent struggles in Japan.

“Our holdings of the five [Japanese stocks] are for the very long term,” he writes.

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Retiring with $1 million in the bank may sound safe — but that money may not last as long as you’d hope, depending on where you live.

In 13 U.S. states, ranging from Hawaii to Rhode Island, $1 million in retirement savings is likely to run out in less than 30 years, according to a recent GOBankingRates analysis. In three states, it’ll probably last less than 20 years, the report said.

Specifically, the GOBankingRates report examined how far $1 million in retirement savings, combined with Social Security benefits, would go in each U.S. state, factoring in basic cost-of-living expenses like groceries, housing, utilities, transportation, health care and other miscellaneous expenses.

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The states where retirement savings run out fastest tend to have the highest costs of living, especially for housing. Hawaii topped the list, with $1 million lasting only a dozen years in retirement there, according to the analysis. The state’s land scarcity drives up its home prices, and its isolation means higher transportation costs, since most goods are shipped by sea.

By contrast, $1 million in retirement savings plus Social Security should last at least 30 years in 36 other states, the report said. Here are the 10 states where $1 million runs out the fastest in retirement, according to GOBankingRates:

• Monthly expenses: $2,761
• Annual cost after Social Security: $80,125
• Years $1 million lasts: 12

• Monthly expenses: $2,269
• Annual cost after Social Security: $61,406
• Years $1 million lasts: 16

• Monthly expenses: $2,340
• Annual cost after Social Security: $51,686
• Years $1 million lasts: 19

• Monthly expenses: $2,096
• Annual cost after Social Security: $45,629
• Years $1 million lasts: 22

• Monthly expenses: $2,001
• Annual cost after Social Security: $41,315
• Years $1 million lasts: 24

• Monthly expenses: $1,899
• Annual cost after Social Security: $39,759
• Years $1 million lasts: 25

• Monthly expenses: $2,081
• Annual cost after Social Security: $38,052
• Years $1 million lasts: 26

• Monthly expenses: $1,876
• Annual cost after Social Security: $37,060
• Years $1 million lasts: 26

• Monthly expenses: $2,017
• Annual cost after Social Security: $37,346
• Years $1 million lasts: 27

• Monthly expenses: $2,113
• Annual cost after Social Security: $36,920
• Years $1 million lasts: 27

The estimates used data from the Missouri Economic Research and Information Center and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Housing costs were based on a 10% down payment and a 6.91% mortgage rate, as of January 2025, using average 30-year fixed mortgage rates from Freddie Mac and home price data from Zillow.

The analysis excluded federal and state income taxes from its cost-of-living estimates, which could affect how long savings last: Lower taxes may allow savings to last longer.

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Micha Kaufman founded freelancer marketplace Fiverr in 2010, a company with a market cap of $931 million as of Tuesday morning. Fiverr is the fourth company Kaufman has founded or co-founded, and he’s currently serving as its CEO.

Over the years, Kaufman’s interviewed many job candidates, “hundreds, at least,” he says at the launch of Fiverr’s latest venture, Fiverr Go, a platform which features AI tools to help the company’s creators grow their businesses.

When it comes to what he looks for in an employee, Kaufman outlines three main traits: a killer instinct, agility and curiosity. “These are, I think, the types of attributes that you need to have if you want to create a winning team,” he says.

Here’s why.

For Kaufman, a killer instinct is a deep sense of the mission of the company.

“It’s being able to understand the brand vision behind anything you want to build,” he says, to “internalize it, make it yours in doing everything in your control and sometimes beyond your control.” It’s a north star that means people with this trait do anything to solve problems for the company. They “don’t fail,” he says.

Agility is about being able to adapt.

When Kaufman announced the Fiverr Go initiative, he saw this agility firsthand. “Those who don’t freak out but actually appreciate the opportunity and are instead of thinking about the downsides and the problems and the challenges” think about the how to make it happen, those are agile workers. A massive new project like Fiverr Go “is only possible with people that are not rigid,” he says.

Finally, he wants employees who are “curious about why things work the way they work,” he says. “They’re curious about why people behave in a certain way.” These people have a hunger for knowledge that gets to the very root of any work-oriented problems. Once there, they’re able to find the solutions.

To suss out these traits in a job interview, Kaufman asks about successes and failures in previous roles and sees how people talk about them. And he gets into depth.

“If they tell you that they built something and it was really successful,” he says, “You say, ‘great, why? Why did you build it? Why was it important? How did you think about it?’” All of these help to reveal how they function on the job.

“Their curiosity, their agility, all of them are encapsulated with these stories,” he says, adding that “you can build anything with a team like that.”

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