People with narcissistic traits often have an inflated sense of their own talents, achievements and significance in the world. They’re sensitive to criticism and struggle to have any empathy or appreciation for others.

This self-centered focus on their own needs is usually at the expense of everyone around them, which makes communicating with them challenging. You may be left feeling dismissed, criticized or invisible.

As a Harvard-trained psychologist, I’ve found that there are seven phrases you’ll hear from highly narcissistic people:

Narcissists see themselves as special and better than everyone else. They believe that other people should feel grateful to be in their orbit because they are all so flawed in comparison.

Similar phrases: 

• “You don’t deserve me.”
• “You should feel relieved that I haven’t cut you out of my life.”

DON’T MISS: How to change careers and be happier at work

Many narcissists are chronically disappointed by others. In response, they may put those people down with cutting, hurtful and mean-spirited insults.

Similar phrases: 

• “You’re such a loser.”
• “No one else would ever want to be with you.”

Narcissists often resort to manipulative tactics like threats or intimidation to keep people invested in the relationship because they feel safer maintaining control, rather than sharing power.

Similar phrases: 

• “Be careful or you’ll push me away.”
• “I’ll ruin you if you cross me, and no one will want to be associated with you.”

It’s hard for people with narcissistic traits to empathize with others. As a result, they rarely see the other person in a relationship as an independent individual with their own thoughts, feelings and experiences.

Similar phrases: 

• “My feelings matter more.”
• “I’m usually right.”

Narcissists have a strong desire to feel superior to others. One way they do that is by putting people down. They tend to make negative comments about everyone else — friends, family or even unknown acquaintances — to build themselves up as part of a separate, special kind of person. 

Similar phrases: 

• “Your friend is lame. Why do you hang out with them?”
• “These people have nothing to offer me.”

When a narcissist is upset, they’ll blame others for their feelings instead of acknowledging their role in the situation. Rather than holding themselves accountable, they’ll complain about how unfair other people are.

Similar phrases: 

• “If you just did what I asked you to do, I wouldn’t be so upset right now.”
• “I wouldn’t be yelling if you didn’t make me so angry!”

People with narcissistic tendencies are good at stonewalling — cutting off communication to show how upset they are. They will pretend to not be affected, while giving you the silent treatment.

Similar phrases: 

• “I’m fine. What are you even talking about?”
• Saying nothing at all.

The best way to respond to a narcissist is not to react at all. Pause in the moment, but don’t leave the conversation entirely. Don’t yell or become defensive.

After a deep breath, you can say, “I need to think about this before I respond, so I’m going to need a minute.” This will give you time to collect your thoughts and notice your emotions. More importantly, you’ll be less likely to say something you might regret later.

Then, set clear boundaries. Here are some examples:

• “I hear you, I just don’t agree with you.”
• “Thank you for sharing your perspective. When you’re open to hearing mine, I can share it.”
• “It sounds like you’re having a lot of feelings right now. I am here to listen if you’d like, but if you put me down or intentionally try to hurt me, I am going to walk away because it isn’t healthy for me to be called names.”
• “I want you to know that I see you and I hear your perspective. I just have a different one, and that’s okay with me.”

Remember, while a narcissist may continue to communicate in harmful ways, their words can’t have power over you unless you let them.

Their most common communication tactics are manipulation and control. That is a reflection of who they are and how they experience they world, not a reflection of you and your values.

Dr. Cortney S. Warren, PhD, is a board-certified psychologist and author of the new book “Letting Go of Your Ex.” She specializes in romantic relationships, addictive behavior, and honesty. She received her clinical training at Harvard Medical School after earning her doctorate in clinical psychology from Texas A&M University. Follow her on Instagram @DrCortneyWarren or Twitter @DrCortneyWarren.

Do you want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Pre-register today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

In 2017, Sophie Hilaire graduated from The Wharton School with an MBA in Operations and moved to New York City to work as a consultant at McKinsey & Company. Before all of that, she was a Captain in the U.S. Army for six years.

“I grew up in the middle of nowhere Ohio, so to me, living in the city was a rite of passage,” she tells CNBC Make It. “It was great but I also felt like during the time I lived there, I was basically kind of a tourist.”

After a year of constant travel for work and spending only the weekends in her NYC apartment, Hilaire decided to take on a much different kind of challenge — climbing Mount Everest.

Hilaire already had experience climbing mountains like Mount McKinley in Alaska, Cotopaxi in the Andes Mountains and Chimborazo, the highest mountain in Ecuador.

She started training while still working full-time. When it came time for the climb, Hilaire was able to take advantage of the months-long sabbatical program offered at McKinsey.

“At the surface, I’ve always been drawn to lofty goals — ones that stretch the body and the spirit. I wanted to find out what would happen if I shut my laptop for two months and focused on this sole, raw experience while living in nature,” Hilaire says.

“When I did that, I had this epiphany that I wanted to spend more time in nature and Central Park to me wasn’t really the level of nature I needed.”

Hilaire returned from Nepal in the summer of 2019 and decided not to renew her lease.

“On the plane ride home, I knew I couldn’t go back to life in New York and that I had to be closer to nature,” she says. “That moment of knowing launched the next chapter — van life, homesteading, and loving myself. The mountain did transform me. She gave me direction and that’s been the real gift.”

Her job allowed Hilaire to be anywhere, so long as she was able to fly out to meet with clients around the country. That gave Hilaire flexibility to travel. But then the Covid-19 pandemic hit and Hilaire found herself without a home and without a clue of where she wanted to head to next.

“I thought, ‘I’m not ready to pay rent or buy a house, so why don’t I move into a sprinter van and continue to visit different places and see where I want to land?’” Hilaire says.

“I always knew I wanted to get a van just to have, but this kind of felt like a no-regrets move because I thought, ‘Why don’t I just get it now, so I don’t have to pay rent anywhere and I can keep on traveling?’ I didn’t know how long the pandemic was going to last.”

Hilaire purchased a Sprinter van she found on Craigslist for $29,900, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It. The van had been partially built out already but still needed a lot of work. Hilaire added a bedroom area, bathroom, IKEA cabinets, solar panels, and a desk. She did most of the work herself and estimates she spent about $18,500 in renovations.

Hilaire traveled all across the United States while living and continuing to work full-time as a consultant.

Hilaire eventually quit her job at McKinsey & Company and lived the van life full-time for two years. But, in 2022, she decided it was time to settle down.

As a first step, Hilaire switched to boutique consulting which meant she wasn’t as client-facing and didn’t need to travel for work. She went from making around $300,000 a year at McKinsey, not including bonuses, to making significantly less — under $100,000. Hilaire says it didn’t bother her.

“I wanted to have my own trees and have somewhere to experience four seasons. I wanted to have a garden. I wanted to be grounded and I wanted to build a life with someone, too,” she says. “It was really nice because I got to spend all that time with myself and develop a relationship with myself for the first time.”

Next, Hilaire had to decide where she wanted to set down some roots. She thought about a homestead — a house, usually a farmhouse, with separate buildings on a big piece of land. Hilaire says she wanted a homestead to “learn more about self-reliance and just be connected to a piece of land,” but she wasn’t prepared to buy one just yet.

At the same time, her friends had been trying to convince her to move to Kentucky. The family owns a hunting property about an hour from their house where Hilaire could stay. The land was big enough for Hilaire to park her van, and she’d have free rein of the 16×40-foot Tuff Shed they bought from Home Depot for $23,000.

“I drove over there in my van and I was blown away by this place. I saw it probably at the worst time because it was the end of winter but I saw how beautiful it was,” Hilaire says.

Hilaire decided to stay and says it was the perfect situation because it would give her the ability to save to buy her own land one day. She set her sights on transforming the Tuff Shed into a tiny home that her friends could use even after she was gone.

“Huge houses did not appeal to me after living in my van. It just felt more comfortable to me and reasonable to have a smaller space,” she says.

The shed had two lofts, outside walls and subflooring and was being used to store random hunting items. Hilaire got to work renovating in the summer of 2022.

Hilaire says she spent roughly $53,535 transforming the shed into a living space inspired by the Sea Ranch community in California, an unincorporated community known for its timber-frame structures. She added skylights, a kitchen, open closets, several decks, a bathroom, a utility closet, and a bed with cardboard boxes underneath for storage.

Hilaire says her first night in the shed was quiet and restorative.

“It was exciting but it was also so relaxing and just really peaceful,” she says. “It was just so nice being in complete silence.”

Hilaire spent a year renovating the shed and lived there for five months before she moved to a homestead she owns with her now-husband.

“In some ways, it’s sad, but in other ways, it was a beautiful thing. That shed took me exactly where I wanted to go,” she says. “I didn’t want to be in this shed forever.”

When the Army vet first met her now husband, some of their dates included working on the shed’s renovations.

“It was important for me while we were dating to see if we could work together on projects. I wanted someone who didn’t necessarily need to be so great at it but we should have fun doing it,” Hilaire says. “We quickly realized that we found the one.”

Want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.

Over the course of my career as a writer and host of The Richer Way podcast, I’ve interviewed over 100 millionaires.

I started the podcast because I wanted to help people take more control of their finances. My goal is to share advice from highly successful people about how they dealt with setbacks and came out stronger on the other end.

Getting to know these entrepreneurs, executives and industry leaders, I’ve had a chance to learn about what sets them apart. These millionaires are charismatic and commanding, know how to delegate and have razor-like focus. They don’t sit around waiting for anything, certainly not luck, because they make their own.

Here are four habits they all share:

Virgin Group founder Richard Branson told me that one of the biggest lessons he has learned over the course of his career is: “You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over.”

DON’T MISS: How to change careers and be happier at work 

Real estate mogul Barbara Corcoran agreed. She said “you must learn not to second guess yourself.” She often uses a “fake it till you make it” mindset to work through her biggest fears.

Similarly, Kim Kiyosaki, an entrepreneur and the co-founder of the Rich Dad Company, recalled being fired from her first job at an ad agency. But rather than take it to heart, she realized she wasn’t meant to work for someone else, and devoted herself to building a career in real estate. 

When I asked Jaspreet Singh, CEO of Briefs Media and founder of the Minority Mindset, about the secret to becoming a millionaire, he attributed his success to a sense of discipline. 

“It takes a lot of discipline to get up when you don’t feel like it, get to work before everyone else, stay after everyone else, and keep working when people say you’re working too hard.” Singh said. “But if you want a life that most people dream of, you can’t keep doing what the majority of people do.” 

Tax and legal expert Mark J. Kohler agreed. He told me that “a lack of experience or knowledge can be mitigated with hard work and passion for what you believe in.”

Two self-made millionaires I interviewed, Derik Fay, the founder of 3F Management, and Lynette Khalfani-Cox, who is known as The Money Coach, spoke candidly about their experiences overcoming adversity in their youth.

“I grew up in Rhode Island, lived in Section 8 housing, and endured extreme poverty and abuse,” Fay said. “For the longest time, I thought my childhood was going to define me as a victim. Then I discovered that the exact things I thought had destroyed me, once I embraced them, had the power to redefine me.”

“My family was quite poor when I was growing up. My dad was a shoeshiner, and my mom was a cashier and secretary,” Khalfani-Cox recalled. “Together, my parents had five daughters and they were always struggling financially.”

Today, Fay runs a company that helps other entrepreneurs grow their businesses. And Khalfani-Cox is dedicated to helping others achieve their own financial success. 

While their past shaped them, and in many ways informed the careers that they have chosen, they made sure that they never felt trapped or defined by it.

Author, financial expert and self-made millionaire Suze Orman told me that learning to confront unexpected challenges can lead to even more growth and success, even if in the moment, it feels like an impossible task.

In 2020, Orman had a major health scare. She learned that she had a non-cancerous tumor that had been growing on her spine for the better part of 15 years. She was scared, but she knew that in order to feel better and heal, she had to adapt and act. She didn’t let fear paralyze her.

When I interviewed her during a difficult time in my own life, she shared one of her favorite phrases with me: “Fear, shame and anger are the three things that keep you from having more.”

She was right. I took that advice to heart and it helped me transform my life for the better.

Jaime Catmull is a personal finance expert with over 16 years of experience. She has worked with Fortune 500 companies, interviewed top CEO’s, celebrities and entrepreneurs, finding out their top investing and personal finance advice.

Want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

This story is part of CNBC Make It’s Millennial Money series, which details how people around the world earn, spend and save their money.

In a lot of ways, living on Martha’s Vineyard is like what you see on “Dawson’s Creek” or “The Summer I Turned Pretty” — think summer romances, beach bonfires, cute boutiques and coffee shops on every corner.

“You’re kind of just living in this movie life,” says Tyla Packish, 23, who grew up on the island and lives in her hometown of Oak Bluffs, Massachusetts.

What you don’t see is what life is like when the last tourists head home after Labor Day. “Living here year-round is definitely an interesting experience because you go from the summer being extremely packed and full of life, to the winter being dead and with no one around,” Packish tells CNBC Make It.

Many shops and restaurants close up after the season and basic goods tend to cost more. For example, gas can be $1 to $2 more per gallon, sometimes more, on the island than on the mainland, she says.

For all its positives and negatives, Martha’s Vineyard is home and where Packish works remotely in advertising and social media, earning $85,000 a year. Here’s what her life and budget look like living on the island.

About 20,600 people call Martha’s Vineyard home year-round; during the summer season between Memorial Day and Labor Day, the population can swell to over 94,000.

In her free time, Packish goes to the beach with friends, all of whom she’s known since childhood. She also spends time on the island with her dad, mom, stepdad and two younger sisters, “and then I have probably a million cousins running around.”

She says her family has lived on Martha’s Vineyard for multiple generations, going back to at least her great grandparents, and many of them stayed on the island to work in the trades and raise their families.

Her dad is an entrepreneur in real estate, while her mom owns a house cleaning business and her stepdad is a boat mechanic.

There are a few myths about Martha’s Vineyard that Packish says aren’t true, like that everyone who lives there is “super wealthy and owns a mansion.”

“Really, it’s a bunch of normal people with rich people that visit sometimes,” she says. Not to say that there aren’t some wealthy islanders, Packish says, but many residents she knows are working class.

Martha’s Vineyard has “all the standard businesses that you would see anywhere, like boutiques, coffee shops, banks [and] grocery stores,” Packish says. “But we don’t have any of the big chains. So we don’t have malls, we don’t have more affordable options. We just have [locally] owned family businesses.”

The island also has most of the services people need, like doctors, though they’re scarce and often book up far in advance. When something isn’t available on Martha’s Vineyard, islanders must take the ferry to the mainland of Massachusetts.

For Packish, that means a recent trip to the eye doctor was a five-hour ordeal involving a ferry trip, rideshares and a lot of waiting around. When she goes on vacation, she leaves home five hours ahead of her flight because it can take up to three hours just to get to the airport.

She typically leaves the island once a month, but can go for stretches of several months at a time.

“My whole life outside of the island revolves around trying to get on the ferry and making sure that everything aligns with the boat schedule,” she says.

Here’s how Packish spent her money in February 2025.

• Retirement savings: $1,583 toward a Roth 401(k) and a Roth IRA
• Discretionary: $705 for travel, clothes, home goods and an eye doctor appointment
• Food: $551 for groceries and dining out
• Car insurance: $159
• Transportation: $153 for gas, rideshares and ferry tickets
• Subscriptions: $69 for Apple iCloud storage, Google storage, Netflix, magazines, Spotify and Quickbooks

Packish previously worked in social media marketing and recently switched companies to work for an advertising agency; all told, she’ll earn about $67,000 from her full-time job this year.

In 2022, during her sophomore year of college, she started a side hustle doing social media management and consulting for businesses on Martha’s Vineyard. She takes on about five to eight clients per season, from restaurants to retailers, and spends between 10 to 50 hours per week on her business depending on the time of the season.

She brought in about $18,000 from her side hustle last year.

For a few months during this year’s offseason, Packish lived rent-free in a one-bedroom apartment that her father owns that was vacant. She’ll return to living with her family once summer visitors arrive. Otherwise, “I wouldn’t be able to live on Martha’s Vineyard with my salary,” she says.

In the absence of paying for rent, Packish focuses on super-charging her retirement savings. She made $1,583 in contributions for the month; last year, she put $7,000 into a Roth IRA saved over $10,000 in a 401(k).

Given her low living expenses, “I figured, why not start early?” she says. “And then when there are years where I’m learning how to pay rent and budget and things like that, I don’t have to worry about my retirement or saving.”

She also keeps her shopping and food spending in check, though the price of basic goods, from groceries to clothes, are often more expensive on the island. She supplements her in-person shopping with trips to the mainland of Massachusetts to shop now and then, plus shopping online for more variety and lower prices.

Packish’s February spend was higher than usual because she paid for a flight, Airbnb and bus tickets for an upcoming trip to San Antonio, Texas.

After attending college in Savannah, Georgia, Packish moved back home to Martha’s Vineyard in 2024 in order to save money and plan her next move off the island.

As far as dealing with summer visitors, “I personally love having all the tourists come and visit because they do boost our economy,” she says. “Martha’s Vineyard wouldn’t be what it is without the tourists, and it just makes for a fun season.”

While residents are typically families or older adults, Packish says the year-round Martha’s Vineyard lifestyle might be good for those who enjoy a quieter life.

“It’s a lot of fun having a very simple life that I don’t really have to worry or stress about anything,” she says. “I just really like how calm and relaxed my life is here.”

That said, Packish doesn’t see herself living on the island forever.

In August, she’ll move to Los Angeles for her new job. She’ll finish one last season with her side hustle clients before recommending them to a friend of hers who owns a digital marketing agency.

“I’ve got to spread my wings and try to learn somewhere new,” Packish says. “I could see myself maybe coming back here when I’m older, maybe to raise a family.”

Editor’s note: This story has been updated to clarify gas price disparities on the island and that Packish takes the ferry to mainland Massachusetts to shop.

What’s your budget breakdown? Share your story with us for a chance to be featured in a future installment.

Want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

In the week following President Donald Trump’s announcement of sweeping tariffs, the S&P 500 briefly flirted with bear territory — defined as a 20% decline from recent highs — as worries swirled that the levies would reignite inflation and set off a trade war that could slow the global economy.

But on Wednesday, the President announced a 90-day pause on tariffs exceeding 10% for some countries, while raising duties on Chinese products to 125%. The S&P 500 climbed more than 9% on the day.

Even if they don’t typically come this rapidly, large swings in stock prices are part and parcel of being an investor. Take it from the late Charlie Munger, the longtime vice-chairman of Berkshire Hathaway and right-hand man to Warren Buffett.

“I think it’s in the nature of long-term shareholding that the normal vicissitudes in markets means that the long-term holder has the quoted value of his stocks go down by, say, 50%,” Munger told a BBC interviewer in 2009.

If you’re not willing to keep your chin up during the occasional rout, he continued, “you’re not fit to be a common shareholder, and you deserve the mediocre result you’re going to get compared to the people who can be more philosophical about these market fluctuations.”

Munger was speaking from experience. In 2009, shares in Berkshire Hathaway, which made up a sizeable portion of his portfolio, had declined by more than 50%. When asked if he had any worries about the state of the company and its stock, Munger cut off the interviewer.

“Zero,” he said. “This is the third time that Warren and I have seen our holdings in Berkshire Hathaway go down, top tick to bottom tick, by 50%.”

Each time, Berkshire Hathaway continued to invest in the stock market, with Munger and Buffett following the latter’s famous maxim: “Be fearful when others are greedy, and be greedy when others are fearful.”

That meant consistently buying stocks the pair saw as undervalued and having faith that U.S. businesses would return to boosting profits. Berkshire’s portfolio, just like the broad U.S. stock market, found new highs after each major drawdown.

Times of uncertainty and volatility in the stock market can be scary. But if you’re around for long enough, you’ll likely live through a few of them, Munger said.

“I think you can count on more booms and busts over your remaining lifetime. How big and with what cyclicality, I can’t tell you,” Munger told students at the University of Michigan in 2011 — another tumultuous year for stocks. “I can tell you the best way of coping, which is to just put your head down and behave creditably every day.”

In general, financial experts advise long-term investors to continue buying stocks through downturns. Historically, the long-term upward trajectory of the stock market has made such periods look like times to buy stocks on sale. In essence, if you already invest regularly, say, through a 401(k), you can leave things on autopilot.

Munger advised the crowd in Michigan that major drawdowns were rare opportunities to build wealth, recalling the advice of his great grandfather.

“Real opportunities that come to you are few,” he said, adding that almost no one is “bathed” in good fortune. “Most people just get a few times when they can make a huge difference by seizing a huge activity.”

For investors, when you have the opportunity to buy assets at a huge discount, it’s important to seize the moment to the best of your ability, and not leave your money sitting on the sidelines while you wait for things to get better, Munger said.

“When you get a lollapalooza, for God’s sakes, don’t hang by like a timid little rabbit,” Munger said. “Don’t hang back.”

Do you want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.