Social discomfort is so universal that social psychologists like me have made careers out of studying it. We can find it almost anywhere, like in salary negotiations or small talk conversations that have one too many awkward pauses.

Almost everyone will at some point find themselves in an interaction that makes them feel uncomfortable. And at work, these situations come up daily. We give and take feedback, manage team dynamics, and navigate status differences. 

Most of us take a simple approach to quelling the discomfort: We smile as hard as we can, laugh (even when nothing is funny), and bend over backwards to convince people: There’s nothing to worry about here. This interaction will be a positive one. I am nice. 

Maybe too nice?     

There is a sad irony here: The harder we try to use niceness to cover up our discomfort, the more people can see right through us.

Humans are good at picking up on emotions, which leak out through our nonverbal behaviors, like tone of voice. We think we’re doing a good job of masking anxiety by layering on the compliments, but when those compliments are delivered through artificial smiles, no one is buying it.

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Often, we regulate our discomfort by giving feedback that is so generic, it’s not useful. Think of your classic, “Great job!” In many cases, it’s also unearned. 

Overly positive feedback signals that you’re not paying attention — and you probably aren’t, if you’re too busy trying to regulate yourself. Over time, the person on the receiving end becomes distrustful of you. They need specific information that would actually help them improve their work. 

Many people work in environments where being overly nice is the norm. Here are three things you can do to shift that culture to one in which honest, useful feedback is valued instead. 

1. Question the ‘niceness culture’

Ask yourself: Does everyone around me enjoy this overly nice culture, or are they doing it because everyone else is doing it? 

Social norms are a big driver of behaviors, and the quicker newcomers adopt those norms, the sooner they’ll be perceived as “fitting in.” If a newcomer observes everyone laying on compliments after a subpar presentation, they’ll do the same.

If no one explicitly questions this behavior, the result is what social psychologists call “pluralistic ignorance”: Everybody assumes that everyone else is engaging in overly nice feedback because they want to. But secretly, nobody likes it.

Start a conversation around change. Get a sense of what people really feel about the nice culture. One way to do this is by proposing alternatives. 

Before the next presentation, for example, you might ask people: “How would you feel if we each wrote down three specific things that you could improve and three specific things that you should definitely keep at the end of the presentation?” 

2. Be precise and particular

It’s natural for us to extrapolate from behaviors to form impressions and make assumptions. For example, we might decide that someone who is chronically late is lazy. But impressions are often too general to be useful, even if they’re positive. 

Strive for specific, behavior-based feedback instead. The more precisely you can pinpoint the issue — that a presentation that had too much jargon, for example, rather than “it was boring” — the more useful the feedback will be.

The same goes for praise. If you tell someone exactly what they did well or why their work was excellent, you’ll come off as more genuine and your feedback will be more meaningful.  

Removing broad generalizations from the equation has the added benefit of reducing threat for the person on the receiving end, especially if that feedback is critical. 

3. If you’re new at this, start small and neutral

It can feel like jumping off a cliff, moving from an overly nice feedback culture to an honest one. 

Start small. Pick issues that are mundane, but that people still care about, like what to stock in the office kitchen. Nothing that will get anyone’s blood boiling. The goal is to build the feedback muscle. That way, once you jump into the tougher stuff, the norms around honesty have already started to change.  

As you work on shifting the culture around you, be patient. Norms take a long time to form, and a long time to change.

Tessa West is a social psychologist and professor at New York University. She has spent years leveraging science to help people solve interpersonal conflicts in the workplace. She’s the author of ”Jerks at Work: Toxic Coworkers and What to Do About Them″ and ”Job Therapy: Finding Work That Works for You.” She is an instructor in CNBC’s online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work.

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For over 25 years, I’ve studied the gut’s profound impact on overall health — first as a cardiac surgeon, then as a researcher in restorative medicine. What I’ve learned is simple: Your gut is the foundation of everything, from immunity to brain function to longevity.

One of the most powerful ways to support it? Eating the right vegetables. But not all vegetables are created equal. The most nutritional ones share two key traits: high polyphenol content and bitterness (yes, bitterness!). These compounds feed your gut microbiome, reduce inflammation and even sharpen cognition.

Here are the five healthiest vegetables I eat every day, no matter what:

Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, cabbage, arugula, rapini — these are gut superheroes in the vegetable family.

Cruciferous vegetables promote postbiotic production, which are byproducts of bacterial fermentation that regulate immunity. They are also good for mitochondrial function, which is what helps convert the energy stored in food molecules into usable energy for cells.

These vegetables are rich in sulfur compounds. These compounds support vascular health by boosting postbiotic hydrogen sulfide, a critical signaling molecule that tells cells what to do to promote health.

I always chop them before cooking to activate myrosinase, an enzyme that enhances their cancer-fighting properties.

A staple of the Mediterranean diet, artichokes are packed with inulin, a prebiotic fiber that feeds beneficial gut bacteria. In addition to being low in calories and fat, they contain plenty of potassium, vitamin C, magnesium and folate.

Don’t discard the stems — they’re the most fiber-rich part! Just peel the tough outer part. I eat them steamed, sautéed or raw for maximum benefits.

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Not all root vegetables have the same nutritional benefits. Radishes, onions, garlic, fennel bulbs and jicama are especially low-sugar options. And they’re loaded with prebiotics that nourish gut microbes. Other healthy options include rutabagas, turnips, purple sweet potatoes and yams.

Avoid eating too many cooked carrots and beets — they release excess sugars. Instead, try raw beet carpaccio with olive oil and mint.

Popular in Italy and France, radicchio, Belgian endive, frisée and puntarelle are rich in inulin, which balances the gut microbiome. Their bitterness signals high polyphenol content, making them a longevity powerhouse.

Red chicory is an especially good source of antioxidants, which help protect the body from damage caused by free radicals.

I love to eat them raw! And I use Belgian Endive as a dipping chip for guacamole.

Shiitakes contain beta-glucan, a polysaccharide that lowers cholesterol and supports gut health. You can find them at most grocery stores. I like to add them to stir-fries or soups for an immune boost. Be careful about eating any mushroom raw, due to the toxins that some of them may carry.

Here’s a quick and easy shiitake mushrooms recipe that takes just a few minutes to make. All you need are mushrooms, an onion, green onions and some oil, salt and pepper!

You have so much control over your health, and it starts with what you decide to put in your body. Before making any drastic changes to your diet, I recommend consulting with your healthcare provider to discuss your specific wellness needs.

Dr. Steven Gundry is a regenerative medicine expert and cardiac surgeon. He is the author of many bestselling books, including ”The Gut-Brain Paradox″ and ”The Plant Paradox.” For over two decades, his research has focused on the microbiome’s role in chronic disease and longevity. He received his degrees from Yale University and the Medical College of Georgia, and completed his surgical residency at the University of Michigan. Follow him on Instagram @drstevengundry.

Want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

Monica Cepak has a go-to interview question that tells her a lot about a job candidate: What’s the hardest problem you’ve ever solved at work, and how did you reach a solution?

The question itself is fairly common. But Cepak, the CEO of sexual and reproductive telehealth company Wisp, looks for something specific in each person’s answer, she says.

If an interviewee’s answer is “cross-functional in nature” — meaning it shows how they worked with other professionals to solve an issue — they’re probably a team player who regularly collaborates with their coworkers, says Cepak, 38, who has nearly 10 years of experience in executive-level roles.

An answer like, ”‘Oh, I did everything myself. Myself, myself, myself’” is a telltale sign that a person “can’t work well in an environment like ours because nobody can solve every problem [on their own.] We’re a team at the end of the day, and your ability to problem solve by working with others is key,” says Cepak.

“You’ll be surprised how many times people will say ‘I, I, I, I, I.’ If I don’t hear ‘we’ anywhere, that’s usually a red flag,” she notes.

Teamwork can make workplaces more efficient and productive, helping you fix mess-ups or find solutions to problems much quicker than you would on your own. And problem-solving skills are one of the “most important” traits Cepak seeks in employees, from entry-level 22-year-olds to people in executive positions, she says.

“The ability to problem-solve with curiosity, empathy [and] humility ultimately drives solutions forward, no matter how tough, no matter how many curveballs one gets thrown,” she says, adding: “That gives me the confidence that someone would thrive in a [company] like ours.”

The best way to answer Cepak’s question is to anticipate that it’s coming, and prepare examples of effective collaboration in advance, she says.

The following answer, for example, could make you sound self-serving or anti-collaborative: “One time, our team was behind on a major project because no one understood their role. So I just did the whole thing by myself over the weekend. It was exhausting, but I got it done.”

Instead, give an answer that showcases how you used your colleagues’ strengths, in addition to your own, to meet a common goal, Cepak recommends.

Try something like this: “At my last job, our team was struggling with communication and meeting tight deadlines. I suggested we create a shared dashboard to track real-time updates and ensure everyone is aware of deadlines. I collaborated with our operations lead to build it out quickly, and we got everyone on board in a day.”

Be sure to include problem solving and collaboration skills on your resume and to mention them on your job applications, advises LinkedIn career expert Drew McCaskill.

“When somebody says, ‘Tell me about a time that you solved a problem that your company was facing,’ they’re really asking you about innovative thinking,” McCaskill told CNBC Make It on April 2. “If my human skills are going to be a big part of these conversations, let me start to think about what the main ones are.”

Teamwork and problem-solving skills should be valuable to any prospective employer, Cepak adds.

“I think that’s a skill set that serves anyone in any company,” she says. “How you approach those situations in times of stress really defines an individual’s career.”

Want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

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Ryan Coogler’s new movie “Sinners” has garnered at least $71 million in box office revenue since its April 18 theatrical release — but it’s the deal he inked with Warner Bros. to make the movie that’s significant for a film director who was deep in debt roughly a decade ago.

Coogler discussed his personal debt history, which he said he experienced while directing the 2015 movie “Creed,” during an April 15 episode of the “WTF with Marc Maron” podcast. “Back then, bro, I wasn’t making no money,” said Coogler, 38. “I was $200,000 in debt for film school. It was bad.”

Now, his “Sinners” deal with Warner Bros. reportedly includes a provision that’ll give him the rights to the movie after 25 years, according to Vulture. By the time his kids are adults, Coogler could potentially receive royalties from streaming services or television broadcasts — that would otherwise go to the production studio — for the rest of his life. He could also snag merchandising deals and receive lump-sum payments from licensees seeking rights to the film for set periods of time.

Directors don’t typically obtain ownership of their films, even decades after their cinematic release, making Coogler’s “Sinners” deal a rarity in Hollywood.

Coogler attended the University of Southern California’s School of the Cinematic Arts, obtaining a master’s degree in fine arts in 2011. His struggle to afford the costs of filmmaking began even earlier, as he worked toward his undergraduate degree at St. Mary’s College of California and California State University, Sacramento, he told the “Ebro In The Morning” radio show in 2018.

“I was trying to write [movies] in Microsoft Word. It’s impossible because your format gotta be right,” Coogler said. “I was broke, playing football on the little scholarship money. And my wife scraped together some cheese and bought me Final Draft, which is the software that you write your movies on.”

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While working on his master’s degree, Coogler made the film “Fruitvale Station,” which debuted at the 2013 Sundance Film Festival and took home two awards: the Grand Jury Prize and the Audience Award. That success helped him land a deal with Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Studios to create “Creed” with a $35 million budget.

The movie made $42.6 million on opening weekend, launching Coogler’s Hollywood career. He directed the 2018 Marvel film “Black Panther,” which netted $1.3 billion in box office revenue, making him one of highest-grossing Black filmmakers ever and the youngest director to lead a billion-dollar movie.

Coogler requested future ownership of “Sinners” because the movie — specifically, the two protagonists’ fight for ownership of a juke joint in the Jim Crow South — was directly inspired by his family’s history, he told Business Insider on April 7.

His Warner Bros. deal also reportedly gave him the power to decide the final version of the film, and a percentage of box-office revenue as soon as the movie hit theaters — instead of after the studio makes a profit. He doesn’t plan to make similar requests for future films, he told Business Insider.

“That was the only motivation,” said Coogler, adding: “It was [only for] this specific project.”

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When Sophie Hilaire Goldie, 37, and her husband, Rocky Goldie, 50, first started dating, she was in the middle of converting a friend’s Home Depot shed into a tiny home. Before that, she had traveled and lived in a sprinter van for two years.

The couple met on Match.com and first bonded because they had both been in the military — Sophie in the Army and Rocky in the Marines. They chatted online for a couple days before talking on the phone and then meeting up in person a week later. After a walk in the park on their first date, Sophie insisted their second date involve working on the shed together.

“It was important for me while we were dating to see if we could work together on projects. I wanted someone who didn’t necessarily need to be so great at it but we should have fun doing it,” Sophie tells CNBC Make It.

“We quickly realized that we found the one.”

Rocky says helping Sophie was his way of impressing her: “I was trying to woo her because it seemed to make her as happy as anything. It was also very meditative for me to be back in the quiet and in the sticks.”

While they were dating, Sophie went on a trip around Southeast Asia for several months. When she returned, Rocky asked if the two could start looking into getting their own place together.

“If it wasn’t for meeting her I probably would have ended up in a little shack,” Rocky says. “I took a long way to get here but I wanted to be some type of homesteader when we met. She had the same vision and it’s not common to meet somebody who does.”

“He also wanted to be living off the land and homesteading,” Sophie adds. “But he didn’t have this big grand vision of all these buildings. He just wanted something simple.”

Though Sophie was initially adamant about getting married before buying a house together, she knew what the couple had was special. She decided to go with her gut.

The couple started their search on Zillow with a specific list of requirements that included “at least 10 acres of land” and located “deep in rural Kentucky.”

“We love old things and antiques, so we wanted a place with some history. We were actually looking for a fixer-upper that had some history, and we weren’t really finding great stuff on Zillow,” Sophie says.

A local photographer connected the couple to a realtor who found them a 37.5-acre homestead for around $390,000. The property had two log cabins from the 1840s that had been combined to make one 2,200 square foot house — with four bedrooms and one bathroom — and one 200 square foot cabin and two barns.

When the couple first visited the property, it was in pretty bad shape. There was poison ivy in the front yard, the sidewalk had cracks, and there was garbage everywhere.

But Sophie felt optimistic. “I knew we were going to buy this house before we even stepped foot into it,” she says. “I saw all of the promise. With me and my husband working on this place full time, in a few years we could transform this place.”

“I knew it looked terrible but I could see underneath all of it,” she adds

Rocky was less sure but says he was swayed by his partner’s enthusiasm.

“I thought it was going to be a lot of work and that it was beautiful,” he says. “But Sophie was always talking about the pros and I was talking the cons but she convinced me.”

“I think we balance each other out that way. I’m toxically optimistic and Rocky is pessimistic but I knew there was no way we weren’t going to live here,” Sophie adds laughing.

“What you don’t understand about me is that hard work does not scare me. I have put so much hard work into stuff I didn’t even care about for so many years, working at places that were a little bit soul-sucking at times for financial security. I wanted to pour all my effort and energy and hard work into this place. I welcomed the challenge, and I was able to convince him, and now he can’t imagine living anywhere else.”

Sophie and Rocky closed on the property in the spring of 2024. Rocky moved into the house first.

“I was sleeping on the floor and just feeling excited to see what things could be,” he says.

The couple secured a 30-year mortgage with a minimum monthly payment of $1,790.18. They plan to pay it off in under five years.

Sophie says she is having so much fun learning how to be a “full-time home remodeling, chicken, and soon-to-be dairy goat farmer.”

“I want to appreciate it and enjoy it for what it is and I think that’s one of the things that makes it so rewarding,” Rocky says. “With every change that you make, every job that you do on it, you’re improving your own place. I can’t think of anything more rewarding.”

Inspired by life on the homestead, Sophie founded her own skincare company, Seoul + Soil. It’s part of their plan to eventually reach 85% to 90% self-sustainability, living off of the animals and gardens.

“In my 20s, I was trying to achieve the blueprint, and in my 30s, I’m trying to unlearn these things piece by piece,” she says.

“I think it’s the most excited I’ve ever been about anything. There’s nothing more entrepreneurial than just making up your life and seeing where you want to draw inspiration from and that’s what inspires me. I feel like we have a whole world here with these animals.”

The couple continues to grow their homestead together and are enjoying every minute of it. Sophie says this is the first time in her life she feels whole.”

Rocky says he’s enjoying how lucky he feels to live on the kind of property he’d always dreamed of.

“My favorite part is how meditative it is and what it does for me mentally. It’s the peace and appreciation I feel that I’m lucky enough to get to live here. It’s everything that I thought it would be,” he says.

“We only have a few more decades left but we want to do 200 years worth of stuff and learn all of this. Everything we did brought us to where we are now but it would be nice to be 20 and starting this,” Sophie adds.

With so much left to do on their homestead, the couple says they will never leave.

“We are not moving. It’s weird to even think that’s an option because it’s now how we think at all,” Sophie says. “I have no interest in leaving ever.”

Want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.