Have you ever been in a work meeting or social gathering where one person just won’t stop talking? It’s really frustrating, especially when you have something to say.

As a global communication expert, I work with a lot of smart, polite people who feel like it’s rude to interrupt. However, in my book, “Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons,” I talk about how important it is for you to speak up, especially if you have something important to add to the conversation. 

Here are three things you need to do:

The first step is to not think of interrupting as a bad thing. Instead, you’re part of the conversation and your thoughts are just as valued as everyone else’s.

Now, with the right mindset, how do you actually get a word in? 

When you find that opportune time to chime in, the first thing you’ll want to say is the person’s name. Research shows our brain lights up when we hear our name being called. It signals to us the flow of the conversation has changed, and we intuitively pause to see what’s going on. 

So say the person’s name firmly and politely. This combination showcases both confidence and presence without coming across as confrontational. 

Next, reroute the conversation to what you want to talk about. Be strategic by showing that you’re collaborative and trying to expand on their thoughts. People love to feel like their ideas were acknowledged and it also creates a seamless conversational flow.

For example, you might say: 

• “Jennifer, I heard what you said about the client’s concern, and it made me think about the approach we used with another client a few years ago…” 
• “Ben, that’s a good point on the project timeline, but Lisa, what’s your take on this from a marketing perspective?”
• “Maya, I agree with you. What you’re saying makes me think of this book I just read…” 
• “Carter, I was silently nodding when you said that because it reminded me of what I experienced last week…” 

When someone feels listened to and heard, they’re more likely to back down and make way for others to speak. Now, you can drive the conversation to what you really want to talk about. 

If you’re not sure exactly how to phrase your interjection, try this sentence — whether you’re in a work brainstorm or a book club meeting: 

″[Person’s name], can I jump in real quick here? I’d love to open up the conversation…”

For example: 

• “Leo, can I jump in real quick here? I’d love to open up the conversation to a slightly different angle.”
• “Jenn, can I jump in real quick here? I’d love to open up the conversation and see what everyone else thinks, too.” 

Let’s say you’ve used this simple strategy to firmly and politely interrupt a person dominating the conversation. But this person just won’t back down. What do you do? 

Being direct is key. If someone keeps going, it’s okay to assert yourself even more firmly and call out exactly what you’re doing. It’s also powerful to pose it as a question.

You might say:

• “Sam, I appreciate your thoughts, but I’d like to make sure others have a chance to weigh in as well right now. Do you mind if we open it up?”
• “Taylor, we know you feel strongly about this, but let’s give Eric a chance to speak too. Is that okay with you?”

At the end of the day, you want to create a respectful environment where everybody feels like they have a chance to talk. Speaking up doesn’t have to be loud or combative. It just has to be intentional. 

If you feel like someone is dominating the conversation and making it difficult for anyone else to get a word in, chances are other people feel the same. With this approach, you can speak up tactfully and politely, but firmly. And I guarantee others will appreciate you for doing it.  

Jessica Chen is a global communications expert, keynote speaker, and a former Emmy-award winning TV journalist. Her book “Smart, Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons” teaches smart professionals how to develop workplace confidence and build a career they love using strategic communications skills to stand out. Connect with Jessica on LinkedIn and Instagram. 

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I’ve always looked forward to Mother’s Day. I embrace it as a useful reminder to pause in the tumult of everyday life, to reflect lovingly and thankfully about my mother — and the mother figures in my life — and to tell them how important they are to me.

I’m fortunate enough to be both a mother and a daughter. In the past year, however, my relationships with my two daughters have changed. Now they’re both out of the house, and I’ve entered what many people call the “empty-nest stage.”

But I’ve decided to rename this transition as the “open-door stage.” An empty nest suggests abandonment and loss; an open door suggests new possibilities and the freedom to come and go — for my daughters, and also for my husband and me.

As we entered this family open-door phase, I wanted to impart some of the tried-and-true lessons that time and experience had taught me — usually the hard way.

It took me a while, but over time I eventually realized how useless it was to tell my daughters, “Look on the bright side!” “It’s not so bad!” “You’re not afraid of clowns!” I was trying to cheer them up, but they didn’t feel better — they felt worse.

Instead, they were comforted when I said things like, “It sounds like you got really rattled during the exam,” “That comment really hurt your feelings,” or “It’s hard to memorize the multiplication tables.”

After a while, I figured it out: We make people happier by acknowledging that they’re not feeling happy.

One parenting conundrum puzzled me for a long time. I love my daughters with all my heart, I don’t want them to change a bit — so why was I constantly pushing and prodding them to improve?

Finally, I understood: Love is unconditional, and love is demanding. Love accepts you just as you are, and love expects the best from you.

One frustrating aspect of happiness is that we can’t make people change. As a parent, however, I discovered that when I changed myself — when I got more sleep so I was less irritable, when I gave myself more time so I wasn’t rushing around, when I kept my sense of humor — my daughters became calmer and more cheerful.

DON’T MISS: How to successfully change careers and be happier at work

I was changing myself, and my daughters responded, and it became clear: We can’t make people change. But when we change, our relationships change — and so others may also change.

I learned one of my most important parenting lessons of all a few years ago, when my daughters were very young.

I remember struggling to articulate a strange paradox that I kept experiencing as a parent: One busy Saturday or a difficult week would stretch out endlessly, but second grade would pass in a flash.

I would lie in bed in the morning, overwhelmed by everything that had to happen before I got back into bed for the night — but Labor Day would come, then almost immediately it was Thanksgiving, then Fourth of July, then Labor Day again.

After many attempts, I managed to put into words how we, as parents, exist in two timelines: The days are long, but the years are short.

These are the lessons that have meant the most to me, as a parent.

Using Mother’s Day as a catalyst for reflection has given me a fresh perspective on the “Secrets of Adulthood” that I’ve learned from being a parent. I’m glad I found this new way to observe this annual holiday.

It’s helpful to have this precise reminder to reflect. After all, what can be done at any time is often done at no time.

Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential observers of happiness and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the bestseller ”The Happiness Project.” Her books have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than 30 languages. She hosts the award-winning podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she explores practical solutions for living a happier life. Her new book, ”Secrets of Adulthood,” is out now.

Want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

Tracee Ellis Ross, renowned actress and daughter of music icon Diana Ross, has been in the spotlight for most of her life. With all of those eyes on her, comes expectations about what that life should look like now at age 52.

Ross has outstanding accomplishments like several seasons starring in the award-winning series “Black-ish” and the successful launch of the haircare company Pattern, of which she is the founder and co-CEO. Still, she says she is often met with criticism for not being partnered or not having children.

Grappling with other people’s expectations “limited my understanding of what was possible,” Ross said during an interview at the New York Times Well Festival this week.

“It undermined my sense of worth and self and joy until I realized it was somebody else’s idea. And I get caught in it still.”

At the same time as more and more Americans are choosing to have children later in life or not at all, there’s also the trad-wife movement where young women are centering homemaking, having children and being the best wives over pursuing a career.

The latter is a cultural shift that Ross has noticed as well.

The concept of a nuclear family is “a narrative that the volume has turned back up on again culturally,” she said.

“I do not believe that my life is unworthy because I don’t have children. I do not believe that my life is unworthy because I do not have a man or partner.”

Despite having no children of her own, Ross made it a point to emphasize that she has played a motherly role in the lives of others, and shows up for her family including the one she created within her social circles.

“I do believe that I mother all over the place,” Ross said. “I do believe that I do very valued things in the world and for people that I care about and love.”

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Bill Gates plans to give away nearly all of his personal wealth and shutter the Gates Foundation within 20 years, the billionaire announced in a blog post on Thursday.

“People will say a lot of things about me when I die, but I am determined that ‘he died rich’ will not be one of them,” wrote Gates, 69. “There are too many urgent problems to solve for me to hold onto resources that could be used to help people.”

The Microsoft co-founder, whose net worth Bloomberg currently estimates at $168 billion, has pledged for years to give away most of his wealth to his philanthropic foundation. His eventual goal is to drop “off of the list of the world’s richest people,” he wrote in a social media post in July 2022.

Now, Gates has set a specific timeline for disbursing his fortune: The Gates Foundation is set to close its doors on December 31, 2045. Since the Foundation’s launch in 2000, it has contributed more than $100 billion to global causes — particularly working to eradicate diseases and poverty, address climate change and expand access to healthcare and education.

Gates estimates the Foundation will be able to double that total, and hand out another $200 billion between now and 2045, depending on factors such as inflation and market performance, he wrote. He plans to increase its annual budget from $6 billion to $9 billion.

Among his goals for the next two decades, he wrote:

• Further reducing the deaths of mothers and young children from preventable causes
• Helping eradicate diseases like polio, malaria, measles and Guinea-worm disease
• Funding advances in education and agriculture in African nations to help “hundreds of millions of people break free from poverty”

While Gates is “hopeful” the Foundation can meet those goals, he’s also realistic: “None of this progress is possible without partnership from governments,” he wrote. His announcement comes at a time when world governments, particularly the U.S., have been slashing their global aid budgets “by tens of billions of dollars,” he noted.

Gates expressed concern that philanthropic organizations like his won’t be able to fill the void in global aid left by recent government cuts.

“No philanthropic organization — even one the size of the Gates Foundation — can make up the gulf in funding that’s emerging right now,” he wrote. “It’s unclear whether the world’s richest countries will continue to stand up for its poorest people.”

Gates described the influences in his life that shaped his commitment to philanthropy, starting with his mother, Mary Gates, who died in 1994. She was a staunch believer in the idea that “to whom much is given much is expected,” Gates wrote.

After Microsoft became successful and Gates became, for a time, the wealthiest person in the world, his mother reminded him that he “was just a steward of any wealth” he accumulated, and that he had a moral and societal obligation to give back, he wrote. Gates’ father shared the same view and was co-chair of the Gates Foundation until his death in 2020.

Gates’ stance on philanthropy was also influenced by longtime friend and fellow billionaire Warren Buffett, who has already donated tens of billions of dollars to charities and has tasked his children with giving away 99% of his remaining wealth after he dies. Buffett “remains the ultimate model of generosity,” Gates wrote. “He was the first one who introduced me to the idea of giving everything away.”

Together with Buffett, Gates and now-ex-wife Melinda French Gates co-founded the Giving Pledge in 2010. Since then, more than 240 billionaires have signed it, committing to give away the bulk of their fortunes in their lifetimes.

In his post, Gates also cited the influence of Gilded Age steel tycoon Andrew Carnegie, whose 1889 essay “The Gospel of Wealth” is considered a model for modern philanthropy. Reading that essay decades ago, Gates said that he was struck by the line “the man who dies thus rich dies disgraced.”

“I have spent a lot of time thinking about that quote lately,” wrote Gates, adding that it influenced his decision to move more quickly with his donations. “I hope other wealthy people consider how much they can accelerate progress for the world’s poorest if they increased the pace and scale of their giving, because it is such a profoundly impactful way to give back to society.”

Gates is “by nature an optimistic person” who expects many global conditions to improve in the coming decades, due largely to advances in technology and healthcare, he told The New York Times on Thursday,. At least some of that progress, he said , could be spurred by the rapid scaling of artificial intelligence.

“I think it’s objective to say to you that things will be better in the next 20 years,” said Gates.

He noted, though, that he’d still be inclined toward philanthropy if he didn’t feel optimistic.

“Let’s say somebody convinced me otherwise,” Gates said. “What am I going to do? Just go buy a bunch of boats or something? Go gamble? This money should go back to society in the way that it has the best chance of causing something positive to happen.”

Clarification: This story has been updated to reflect that Gates estimates his foundation will hand out $200 billion between now and 2045.

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When a child throws a full-blown tantrum over a minor setback, you might be tempted to respond with tough love.

But the key to raising kids who grow up to be mentally strong, resilient adults is to treat them with compassion, rather than chastising them for over-reacting, according to child psychologist Becky Kennedy. 

“It’s almost like we view compassion as dangerous,” Kennedy, who has a PhD in clinical psychology from Columbia University, said on an April 22 episode of her parenting podcast “Good Inside.” “When [kids] are having a big reaction to something we deem to be a small, childish thing, we think that compassion is going to lead to kids being soft, being snowflakes.”

Kennedy “thought these things myself” about her own three children when they were toddlers, she said. But when a young child’s disappointment leads to a tantrum, a parent’s criticism can actually make the overreaction worse, she said: “If I add my criticism, my invalidation, the feeling just gets bigger. It’s so counterproductive.”

Instead, Kennedy recommended acknowledging your child’s disappointment with calm, supportive statements like, ”‘It makes sense. You’re upset … That is real. And I know you’re going to get through it.’”

Validating language can help kids feel understood, especially when they’re struggling or upset. You can even use it to discourage future emotional meltdowns: “Parents can use phrases like: ”‘It’s OK to feel upset, but not OK to act this way,’” psychotherapist Amy Morin wrote for CNBC Make It in December.

“It shows them that feelings like anger or sadness are normal, but it’s not OK to disrupt or hurt others,” Morin added, noting that parents can teach kids alternative ways of coping with big feelings, like taking deep breaths or naming their emotions. “Controlling how emotions are expressed is a key skill they’ll need for life’s inevitable ups and downs.”

Mentally resilient adults tend to have self-compassion. Parents can help establish that skill from an early age, said Kennedy.

“A parent’s voice becomes a child’s self-talk,” Kennedy said. If parents invalidate or criticize their child’s distress, that kid is more likely to react to a setback as an adult with self-criticism, rather than reflecting on what went wrong and trying to figure out the best way forward. 

″[That] is only going to make it more difficult for them to find their feet, find their confidence, find their self-trust, find their resilience, and actually move on and figure out what they want to do next,” said Kennedy.

Teaching your children how to show themselves compassion can help ensure that, as they age, they’ll be better equipped to handle setbacks without spiraling into negativity.

“Compassion is a huge part of self-regulation,” said Kennedy, adding: “When we berate ourselves, ironically, that makes us so much softer, because we’re not able to deal with the feeling [and] it lasts longer and gets even bigger.”

Self-compassion makes both children and adults more motivated to learn new things, and to change their behavior to avoid repeating past mistakes, according to research from psychologist and University of Texas at Austin associate professor Kristin Neff.

“Compassion after failure makes people more likely to persevere and try again as compared to those who self-criticize,” Kennedy said, referencing Neff’s research. “Also, self-compassion helps people take responsibility for mistakes without spiraling into shame. That’s huge.”

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