At 66 years old, one Sherman Oaks, California-based mom thought she’d be enjoying an empty nest with her husband. Instead, she’s sharing her home with an unexpected roommate: her 27-year-old daughter.

Since their 27-year-old moved back home in early 2024, the mother, who asked to remain anonymous to protect her daughter’s identity, says she and her husband are spending close to $5,000 a month covering all of her daughter’s living expenses, including food, transportation and health care.

Because of the increased expenses, she says they’re no longer going on vacation this year, and her husband, a radiologist, may have to delay retirement.  

“We were not planning on this kind of expenditure at this point of our lives,” the mother says. “The reason we do it is because we don’t want to see her on the street.”

The couple join a growing number of parents who say their finances have been affected by children aged 18 to 35 moving back home. One survey published in May by financial services provider Thrivent found that nearly 40% of U.S. parents say supporting their adult children has impacted their savings goals — the highest percentage since the survey began four years ago.

The parents from Sherman Oaks say their relationship with their daughter has become so strained that they’ve turned to Kim Muench, a parenting coach who specializes in young adults, for guidance.

Muench says “a good majority” of her clients have been affected financially by their adult children living at home. Many parents aren’t traveling like they typically would, are pushing off retirement and are forgoing other self-care expenses.

“Parents sometimes hesitate to get help for themselves and invest in their health … because they’re already spending more than they would like to support their adult or emerging adult children,” she says.

While using short-term savings to support adult children may mean missing a vacation or not going out to dinner as often, dipping into long-term savings or delaying retirement can lead to financial challenges later in life — especially if health issues or age make it difficult to keep working, experts say.

Some decisions, however, aren’t always driven by a lack of money: “I would say 80% is emotional, 20% is financial from the parents,” Muench says.

Many of her clients forgo vacations because they don’t trust their kids to stay home alone, Muench says.

The father from Sherman Oaks says that retirement wouldn’t just mean a loss of income, it would also mean losing access to his employer-sponsored health care — which currently costs the couple close to $600 a month for their daughter.

“At this point, I was hoping to do a lot more travelling … we’ve really put that on the back burner,” the mother says. “I thought my husband and I would have the house to ourselves with the dogs, and we wouldn’t be worried sick about her all the time.”

While many parents are happy to care for their adult children when they first move back home, there’s usually an expectation that the move will be temporary, Muench says. However, a lack of communication between parents and children, especially around finances, can often leave parents feeling stuck in a long-term living arrangement.

“When their son or daughter is not taking [financial responsibility] on incrementally, they actually get very worried that they will be financially providing for the rest of their lives,” Muench says.

Muench says parents can work with their adult children by having open, calm conversations to define financial boundaries together.

Instead of taking drastic measures, Muench suggests parents introduce gradual financial boundaries to help young adults build responsibility with support. Ask them to start small, she says, such as taking over their phone bills or putting a weekly portion of money away in a separate savings account to mimic paying rent.

“It takes consistent conversations, because it’s probably not going to happen in the first conversation,” Muench says. “And it takes an emotional maturity level on both the parents and the emerging adult side to figure out how they can work together.”

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Mo Gawdat’s son, Ali, was 21 years old when he died due to medical negligence during a routine appendix surgery in 2014.

Gawdat was devastated, confused and in a palpable state of shock. Then, 17 days later, he started writing a book on how to be happy, in his son’s honor.

Gawdat has researched the science of happiness for over 20 years from a logical and philosophical prospective, using flow charts and formulas to get to the root of unhappiness. A while back, he learned a habit that can almost instantly help you find joy and fulfillment.

It’s called the 90-second rule, Gawdat told the “High Performance” podcast on June 17. When something angering or nerve-wracking happens in your life, give yourself a minute and 30 seconds to feel upset. Then, choose to focus on other things.

The habit is based on insight Gawdat learned from Harvard-trained neuroscientist Jill Bolte Taylor, who found that it takes only 90 seconds for stress and anger hormones, like cortisol and adrenaline, to be flushed out of the body.

“But then what happens is, you run the thought in your head again, and you renew your 90 seconds,” said Gawdat, who served as chief business officer at Google X, the company’s innovation lab, from 2015 to 2018. “You run it again, unconsciously, and you renew your 90 seconds. While in reality, what you get after those 90 seconds is a buffer … [which] allows you to say, ‘Now, what am I going to do?’”

Getting cut off while driving, for example, can be really agitating. You might yell or curse from behind the wheel, or even roll your window down to give the other driver a piece of your mind. But ruminating on the situation, telling everyone what happened when you get to the office, won’t change it. So, what if you took a deep breath, turned your favorite song on, and sang along instead?

To recover more quickly from life’s upsets, Gawdat asks himself three questions, he said:

1. Is it true?
2. Can I do something about it?
3. Can I accept it and do something despite its presence?

“Ninety percent of the things that make us unhappy are not even true. Like your [partner] says something hurtful … your brain is telling you [they] don’t love you anymore,” said Gawdat “That isn’t true.”

If your answer to question No. 1 is “no,” drop it. If it’s “yes,” move on to question No. 2 and do the same thing over again. If there’s something you can do about it, do it, he said. If not, go into “committed acceptance” – meaning, acknowledge what’s happened and accept it as your new normal.

Building new habits can be difficult, especially when you’re feeling emotional. In a 2009 study, psychology researcher Phillippa Lally found that it can take anywhere between 18 to 254 days to form a habit, depending on the person and their circumstances.

But being cognizant of how you respond to tough moments in life is the first step to being happier and more fulfilled, says Gawdat.

“Life doesn’t give a s— about you,” Gawdat told Simon Sinek’s “A Bit of Optimism” podcast on June 24. It puts you in good and bad situations, and lets you figure out the rest. “It’s your choice, how you react to every one of them … It’s your choice to set your expectations realistically.”

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For over four years, I’ve been a professor at Emory University’s Goizueta Business School. Before that, I worked in the corporate world at organizations like Coca-Cola and IBM. 

Recently, for work, I went to Denmark, one of the world’s happiest countries, to teach a course called “Happiness Blueprint.” While there, I discovered what many had learned before me: Hobbies are integral to life in Denmark. 

From cycling to sewing, I watched Danes find joy in the everyday outside of work. When I returned to the U.S., I thought hobbies could be the answer to help me take a break from my Type-A brain. Last year, I decided to put that theory to the test.

I ended up trying 17 hobbies over the course of one year — baking, cold plunging, collage-making, embroidery, golf, home DIY, horseback riding, jewelry making, mahjong, ornament making, painting, pickleball, pottery, rock climbing, sewing, tennis, and woodworking.

I came away from my experiment, stronger, braver, and more confident. After a year, I was fundamentally changed. Here’s how:

To make space for my hobby experiment, I had to find time — something I assumed I didn’t have as a busy working mom. Surprisingly, there were pockets of time everywhere, particularly once I gave up my evening habit of watching TV while half-working and doomscrolling on a second screen.

When your hands are covered in flour, holding a paintbrush, or gripping a climbing wall, your phone is simply unavailable. I realized I had more agency and less stress when I was putting my energy towards learning new skills, rather than getting pulled under by an algorithm on social media.

I loved woodworking, but it comes with a hefty startup cost and isn’t compatible with small kids underfoot. So, I wrote it off. Ironically, a friend of a friend who’d heard about my experiment invited me to his woodshop, and a few months later, I gave woodworking another shot. 

This time, instead of feeling overwhelmed, I realized woodworking is a “not-right-now” hobby for me. I can picture a future where the kids are older, we’ve stocked the garage with tools, and we’re building bookshelves for our dream library together.

Try hobbies even if they don’t fit your current season of life. You can bookmark them for later.

As a mother to two young kids, one of the most triggering questions in my life is, “What are we eating?” For me, anything in the kitchen is considered work. 

But when I spent time with Sophie, a senior at Emory, I found that each of us finds stress relief from different activities. For her, baking was the furthest thing from work. It helped her decompress from the grind of being a student. 

Indeed, I also found baking to be methodical and soothing. The activity was quiet in a way that my family dinner prep was not, and my efforts led to a delicious treat at the end.

Once I thought about hobbies in this light, I understood that home DIY was a hobby for me, but it was work for others. If you do something consistently and find joy in it, go ahead and call it a hobby! 

For a long time, I had regular manicures, facials, and lash appointments. I thought self-care would make me more balanced, but it created stress from having to be in more places at set times. 

There’s nothing wrong with an occasional trip to the nail salon, but a few months into my experiment, I realized that rather than make one of these appointments in an attempt to soothe my brain, I was redirecting all my energy and free time into my hobbies. 

A general rule that resonates with me is you need one hobby for your brain, one hobby for creativity, and one hobby to keep you in shape. For me that became mahjong, home DIY, and tennis. 

America is facing a loneliness epidemic. But I’ll tell you who isn’t lonely: the hobbyists I met through my experiment. 

When I was invited to try horseback riding, I saw how tightly knit the barn community was. What struck me was people of all ages were brought together by their love of horses. When I spent time with rock-climbers, I heard how they swapped route info so other climbers could be successful. 

Each group of hobbyists has a community and they are actively forming relationships and identities outside of work. My tennis team has about 20 moms. We have something like 53 children under the age of 13 between us.

Being with my teammates is always a reminder that I do have the time to pursue my hobbies.

Every time I asked someone about their hobby, they surprised me. I was once chatting with Emory’s Dean of Admissions, who I knew as a no-nonsense professional, when she shared that her weekends are filled with competitive sailboat racing! 

Once people heard about my experiment, I was freed from making small talk. Instead, I found myself in deep conversation with others, understanding who they were at their core, outside of obligations. 

Thanks to my year of hobbies, I feel like I know the people in my life much better.

All too often, I hear from my former students that they are experiencing burnout. They tell me that as soon as they find balance at work, they will get into a hobby.

Unfortunately, balance doesn’t work like that. It’s not a shiny pebble you find on your way to work. If you want balance, the secret is to get a hobby. You’ll naturally be forced to define your boundaries: as a worker, as a parent, and as an individual. 

My experiment has come to an end, but hobbies are still an integral part of my life. I’m on a tennis team, I have a standing Mahjong game and I’m learning golf alongside my kids. 

The other night, while lying in bed, my 7-year old turned to me and said, “I have so many hobbies.” That’s when I knew, without question, I was modeling something very right.

Marina Cooley is an Assistant Professor in the Practice of Marketing at Emory’s Goizueta Business School and a P&W 40 under 40 Best MBA Professor. She is the author of the Substack ”Professor Off Duty.” To get more of her insights on work/life balance, find Marina on Instagram @marinacooley.

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You’ve probably worked hard to build positive relationships. But what if, despite your best intentions, your communication is coming off as judgmental?

As the author of “Managing Up,” an executive coach to top performers at the world’s biggest companies, and a professor of human behavior, I’ve seen how certain phrases — even ones that sound perfectly reasonable in your head — can chip away at trust.

People may hesitate to share ideas or information with you. You may stop getting invited to meetings or to social events. And before you know it, you’re being labeled as resistant or not a team player. 

Here are five common phrases that can make you sound judgmental, even when you don’t mean to be, and what to say instead. 

You may say this when someone brings up a problem that seems to have a straightforward solution. Maybe your friend is stressed about their inbox, and you mention, “Why don’t you just set up filters?” Or your direct report is struggling to get buy-in on a decision, and you jump straight to, “Why don’t you just schedule one-on-ones?”

You think you’re helping, but what the other person hears is: “The answer is obvious, so why haven’t you figured it out?” They may need empathy before they’re ready to problem-solve.

What to say instead

Get curious before offering solutions. For example: 

• “That sounds frustrating. What have you tried so far?” 

Once you understand the situation better, you can then suggest ideas with phrases like: 

• “One thing that’s worked for me…” 
• “An option that comes to mind is…” 

At a family gathering, someone mentions, “Grandma grew up in Ohio,” and you jump in to clarify, “Actually, it was Michigan.” Even small corrections like, “Actually, the deadline is Friday,” can come off harsher than intended.

Prefacing statements with “actually” can seem to imply, “You’re wrong and I’m right,” or, “You’re not paying attention,” and come off as condescending. 

What to say instead

Embrace “yes, and…” improv energy to build on others’ ideas, not tear them down. Try: 

• “You’re right about [X situation], and something else to consider is…” 
• “That’s a fair point. I wonder if we also need to factor in…” 

Signal humility with wording like: 

• “I might be misremembering, but I thought the deadline was Friday. Do we want to double check?”

Over dinner you comment to your partner, “If I’m being honest, I had more fun at the show than I thought I would.” Or you might use it to express feedback, like: “Honestly, we should consider other options.”

You’re trying to be transparent. But saying “to be honest…” can subtly imply everything you said before wasn’t truthful. Worse, it often signals criticism is coming, so people might get defensive before you’ve even made your point.

What to say instead

Drop the preamble and lead with the positive experience:  

• “I’d definitely do something like that again!”
• “I wasn’t sure what to expect and I really enjoyed myself.” 

If you’re offering input, position your opinion as one possible perspective, not the only truth. For example: 

• “I see a few challenges with that approach.”
• “My experience has been…”

You can also use words that invite open-mindedness like: 

• “How about we explore…” 
• “I’m curious about…”

You might say this when someone’s explanation or idea doesn’t line up with your thinking or experience. For example, maybe a teammate says they’re prioritizing a smaller client over a bigger one.

What you mean is, “I don’t understand your reasoning,” but the subtext can be perceived as, “Your logic is flawed.” Even if you’re truly confused, this phrase puts the other person in the position of having to defend their intelligence. 

What to say instead

Acknowledge what you do understand or paraphrase what you’ve heard first. Try: 

• “I know we’re trying to be thoughtful here. Can you help me understand the upside of waiting a bit longer?” 
• “So if I’m following, we’re focusing on the smaller client first because of the referral potential, correct?” 

You might genuinely be caught off guard when someone isn’t aware of information that seems fundamental or well-known to you. Sometimes it’s even a nervous reflex if you feel awkward for not catching an oversight sooner. 

By expressing “surprise,” you’re inadvertently suggesting their lack of knowledge is unexpected and perhaps inappropriate for someone in their role.

What to say instead

Focus on being helpful rather than highlighting their unfamiliarity. Try: 

• “That’s one of those terms that gets thrown around a lot. It means…” 
• “Totally understandable. Want me to fill you in real quick?” 

These phrases aren’t always judgmental. Tone and timing matter, too. Be aware of both your intention and your impact and you can become the type of person others trust, respect, and want to invest in. 

Melody Wilding, LMSW is an executive coach, human behavior professor, and author of ”Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge.” Download exact scripts to diplomatically say no at work here.

Are you ready to buy a house? Take Smarter by CNBC Make It’s new online course How to Buy Your First Home. Expert instructors will help you weigh the cost of renting vs. buying, financially prepare, and confidently navigate every step of the process—from mortgage basics to closing the deal. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through July 15, 2025.

Retirees are fleeing California and flocking to Florida.

In 2023, Florida was the most popular destination for U.S. residents aged 60 and over, according to a June study by SmartAsset, which analyzed the data from the Census Bureau’s latest American Community Survey.

The state saw a net migration gain of 44,504 residents 60 and over — the highest in the country and more than double that of the next highest state, North Carolina, which had a net gain of just over 20,000. In contrast, California experienced the largest net loss, with 56,858 more people in the age group leaving than moving in.

While the Sunshine State has had the nation’s largest net migration of people 60 and older since at least 2021, net migration to Florida in 2023 was down significantly from 2022′s net gain of 77,290 residents largely due to a decline in retirees moving to the state.

Here are the top 10 states where retirees moved in 2023, ranked by the highest net inflow of people aged 60 and over.

• Net migration: 44,504
• Total population aged 60 and older: 6,515,453

• Net migration: 20,369
• Total population aged 60 and older: 2,610,422

• Net migration: 20,203
• Total population aged 60 and older: 1,905,562

• Net migration: 14,676
• Total population aged 60 and older: 1,408,424

• Net migration: 13, 789
• Total population aged 60 and older: 2,370,455

• Net migration: 10,050
• Total population aged 60 and older: 5,889,582

• Net migration: 5,782
• Total population aged 60 and older: 757,348

• Net migration: 5,182
• Total population aged 60 and older: 463,084

• Net migration: 4,940
• Total population aged 60 and older: 925,676

• Net migration: 4,519
• Total population aged 60 and older: 296,881

Retirees may be moving to Florida for good reason. Despite its relatively high cost of living, Florida was ranked the best state to retire in by WalletHub in 2025, due to its tax-friendly policies, recreational opportunities and government-funded programs for seniors.

A major draw of retiring in Florida is that the state has no income tax. For retirees, this means Social Security benefits, pensions and retirement account withdrawals are not taxed. Additionally, Florida has no estate or inheritance tax, which can be a financial advantage for those planning to pass on wealth.

The state also boasts the second-most shoreline miles in the country, and ranks second in the amount of adult volunteer activities, fifth in theater companies and seventh in golf courses and country clubs — offering retirees a number of ways to stay active and engaged, according to WalletHub.

Are you ready to buy a house? Take Smarter by CNBC Make It’s new online course How to Buy Your First Home. Expert instructors will help you weigh the cost of renting vs. buying, financially prepare, and confidently navigate every step of the process—from mortgage basics to closing the deal. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through July 15, 2025.

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