At 78 years old, my brain is just as sharp and productive as ever.

I’ve written more than 175 books over the course of my career — on a wide range of topics, including marine biology, job interviews, ancient trees, creativity, baseball, dinosaurs, American history, resume writing, tsunamis, and Mother Goose. I also spent over three decades as a professor and worked with more than 100 schools across North America as a consultant.

Even though I’m retired now, I still write books, give presentations, and blog about psychology. My secret to staying sharp is simple: I am constantly curious.

Our brain’s chemistry changes when we become curious. Curiosity is what sharpens our intellectual powers, and keeps us mentally active well into our golden years. Here are my four hard rules for keeping my brain sharp and quick:

There’s a common belief that knowledge is the key to success. But growing research suggests that some of the most successful people embrace their own “innate ignorance.”

They understand that there is much more to learn about the world, but they don’t let that impede their progress. If anything, it galvanizes them to do more. Knowing what we don’t know can be a powerful mindset shift that sparks growth and creativity.

How to do this: Once or twice a week, select a topic you know little about, preferably one unrelated to your job or background. Maybe it’s WWII fighter pilots, prehistoric cave paintings, or square-trunked trees.

Spend five to 10 minutes learning all you can about that topic. Write down three interesting facts. This is a small but powerful way to exercise your brain.

Many of us get trapped in an endless cycle of convergent thinking, or always looking for the “right” answers.

But I’ve spent my entire career as an educator, and I can tell you that most schools trained us to focus on facts (“What is the capital of Pennsylvania?”), rather than creative answers (“Where do you think the capital Pennsylvania should be located?”).

Divergent questions, or open-ended questions that have multiple answers, encourage deeper thinking and help keep your mind flexible.

How to do this: A few times a week, ask yourself “What if…?” questions:

• What if you could relive any day of your life? What would you do?
• What if one historic event could be reversed? Which one would you select?
• What if you could be perfect in one athletic skill or talent? Which would it be? 

Not only are these questions fun, they can also generate a number of responses and paths for exploration.

According to researchers at the Greater Good Science Center at the University of California, Berkeley, experiencing awe can stimulate wonder and curiosity. 

Some examples can be holding a newborn baby, seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time, or watching a kaleidoscope of butterflies dance over an open field. That sense of awe can improve our well-being, contribute to a more positive attitude, and boost curiosity.

How to do this: Once or twice a month, go to a place you’ve never been before. It doesn’t have to be somewhere far — maybe a local park or new restaurant. Find something awesome, spend time observing, and record your thoughts.

Reading outside our field of expertise may be one of the most significant things we can do to develop our natural curiosity. When we expose ourselves to different ways of thinking through literature, we open up new possibilities for learning.

Even after 50 years of teaching, my current reading list includes books not on education, but on marketing strategies, paleontology, growing tomatoes, British narrowboats, island ecology, long distance running, and redwood trees, among many others.

How to do this: Visit your local public library and pick at least three books on topics that interest you, but that you’ve never formally studied or worked in. Read at least one chapter a day. You might be surprised by where your research takes you.

Anthony D. Fredericks, Ed.D., is professor emeritus of education at York College of Pennsylvania. He is the author of Psychology Today’s Creative Insights blog, and has written over 100 nonfiction books including ”From Fizzle to Sizzle: The Hidden Forces Crushing Your Creativity and How You Can Overcome Them, ”Two-Minute Habits: Small Habits, Dynamic Creativity,” and his latest ”In Search of the Old Ones: An Odyssey among Ancient Trees.″ Follow him on LinkedIn.

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Many couples see intimacy as a “nice to have” in relationships. It’s sweet when it’s there, but not essential. This is especially true after the honeymoon period wears off. As a sex therapist and psychotherapist with over two decades of experience, I’m here to tell you that’s wrong.

Intimacy is the heartbeat of a thriving relationship. When intimacy breaks down, it doesn’t just affect your connection with a partner, it can impact your career, friendships, and physical health. It influences how you lead, communicate, make decisions, and feel about yourself. Clients often come to therapy for stress, anxiety, or performance issues at work, only for us to uncover intimacy gaps as the deeper source of misalignment. 

Intimacy, to bust another myth, is more than just getting laid or knowing the right positions. It’s about being open, honest, vulnerable, and real and allowing someone else to be the same with you.

Many of the biggest intimacy blockers are hiding in plain sight. Here are four surprising things that quietly kill intimacy — and what to do about them:

It’s tough to connect with someone when your brain is having a love affair with your phone. Even quick glances at notifications can break the emotional flow and send the message: “I’m not fully here.”

What to do about it

Ask your partner how they feel when one or both of you are on your phone, laptop, iPad, or other screens. How does it affect your connection? You might be surprised by how much it matters.

Come up with a few simple boundaries together. It could be as simple as designating screen-free zones, like the bedroom and couch, or at specific times, like during meals or before bed. 

I know it may feel like a punishment but I promise it’s not! Being present is the foundation of true intimacy. 

Whether you’re comparing someone new to your ex or haven’t fully processed the end of a past relationship, that lingering attachment can leave little room for connecting with anyone else.

What to do about it

Take an honest look at yourself. Are you still mentally or emotionally entangled with your ex? Closure isn’t about forgetting them, it’s about reclaiming your energy.

Be kind and give yourself permission to grieve what was lost and reflect on what that relationship taught you. Journal your uncensored thoughts, talk it out with a therapist, or (my old favorite) write a letter to your ex that you won’t send. 

If you’re holding on to physical reminders such as texts, photos, or gifts, consider letting them go to create space for what’s next.

The goal here is to notice how often they’re taking up mental real estate, and to practice gently redirecting your focus to what is happening in the here and now. That includes your needs, your growth, and the person in front of you.

You tell yourself they’re not interested. You assume you’re too much or not enough. Meanwhile, they might be having the same doubts.

These protective thoughts are normal, but unhelpful and may be a little distorted. They can cause us to self-reject before giving intimacy a chance.

What to do about it: 

Start by noticing the thought. When something negative pops up, ask yourself: 

• “Is this fact or fear?” 
• “What’s the evidence for this thought?”
• “What’s the evidence against it?” 

Just because a thought feels true doesn’t mean it is, even if those suckers can be very convincing! One of the most powerful tools from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is learning to evaluate your thoughts instead of accepting them at face value.

Then try reframing. Ask yourself: 

• “What’s a more realistic way of thinking about this based on what I actually know?”
• “What would I say to a friend if they were thinking this?”

For example, instead of, “They’re probably not into me,” the reframe might be: “I’m not sure how they feel yet, and I don’t have to figure it out all at once. I can be present and see where this goes.”

In sex therapy, we use the dual control model: Every person has “accelerators,” or things that turn them on, and “brakes,” which are things that shut them down. 

For some people, stress ramps up desire. For others, it’s a full stop. If you fall into the latter group, stress from anywhere in your life — your job, a parent’s illness, an unexpected bill — might be getting in the way. 

What to do about it

Track your patterns. Do you feel more open or closed off when stressed? Understanding your unique wiring, you can talk to your partner about it in a way that brings you closer.

Try something like: “I’ve noticed that when I’m overwhelmed, I need to feel supported before I can feel connected. I’m not rejecting you. I’m just maxed out. Helping with dinner or giving me time to reset really helps.”

You might want to cuddle on the couch, take a walk, or talk about what’s on your mind. Intimacy is more than just sex. Small moments of closeness count.

Be curious about your partner’s accelerators and brakes, too. Ask what helps them feel connected, supported, and seen. These conversations don’t have to be perfect. They just need to be honest. That kind of exchange is intimacy in action.

Chamin Ajjan, LCSW, A-CBT, CST is the CEO and Clinical Director of Chamin Ajjan Psychotherapy. She completed her undergraduate work at the University of California, Berkeley, and graduate school at Columbia University School of Social Work. She is an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist who received intensive and rigorous postgraduate training at The Modern Institute for Sex Therapy. She is also the author of ”Seeking Soulmate: Ditch The Dating Game and Find Real Connection″ and an expert instructor in CNBC Make It’s online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking.

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At 66 years old, one Sherman Oaks, California-based mom thought she’d be enjoying an empty nest with her husband. Instead, she’s sharing her home with an unexpected roommate: her 27-year-old daughter.

Since their 27-year-old moved back home in early 2024, the mother, who asked to remain anonymous to protect her daughter’s identity, says she and her husband are spending close to $5,000 a month covering all of her daughter’s living expenses. This includes up to $1,500 on food, $700 on transportation and $400 on her pet cat, the mother says.

Because of the increased expenses, she says they’re no longer going on vacation this year, and her husband, a radiologist, may have to delay retirement.  

“We were not planning on this kind of expenditure at this point of our lives,” the mother says. “The reason we do it is because we don’t want to see her on the street.”

The couple join a growing number of parents who say their finances have been affected by children aged 18 to 35 moving back home. One survey published in May by financial services provider Thrivent found that nearly 40% of U.S. parents say supporting their adult children has impacted their savings goals — the highest percentage since the survey began four years ago.

The parents from Sherman Oaks say their relationship with their daughter has become so strained that they’ve turned to Kim Muench, a parenting coach who specializes in young adults, for guidance.

Muench says “a good majority” of her clients have been affected financially by their adult children living at home. Many parents aren’t traveling like they typically would, are pushing off retirement and are forgoing other self-care expenses.

“Parents sometimes hesitate to get help for themselves and invest in their health … because they’re already spending more than they would like to support their adult or emerging adult children,” she says.

While using short-term savings to support adult children may mean missing a vacation or not going out to dinner as often, dipping into long-term savings or delaying retirement can lead to financial challenges later in life — especially if health issues or age make it difficult to keep working, experts say.

Some decisions, however, aren’t always driven by a lack of money: “I would say 80% is emotional, 20% is financial from the parents,” Muench says.

Many of her clients forgo vacations because they don’t trust their kids to stay home alone, Muench says.

The father from Sherman Oaks says that retirement wouldn’t just mean a loss of income, it would also mean losing access to his employer-sponsored health insurance — which currently costs the couple close to $600 a month for their daughter.

“At this point, I was hoping to do a lot more travelling … we’ve really put that on the back burner,” the mother says. “I thought my husband and I would have the house to ourselves with the dogs, and we wouldn’t be worried sick about her all the time.”

While many parents are happy to care for their adult children when they first move back home, there’s usually an expectation that the move will be temporary, Muench says. However, a lack of communication between parents and children, especially around finances, can often leave parents feeling stuck in a long-term living arrangement.

“When their son or daughter is not taking [financial responsibility] on incrementally, they actually get very worried that they will be financially providing for the rest of their lives,” Muench says.

Muench says parents can work with their adult children by having open, calm conversations to define financial boundaries together.

Instead of taking drastic measures, Muench suggests parents introduce gradual financial boundaries to help young adults build responsibility with support. Ask them to start small, she says, such as taking over their phone bills or putting a weekly portion of money away in a separate savings account to mimic paying rent.

“It takes consistent conversations, because it’s probably not going to happen in the first conversation,” Muench says. “And it takes an emotional maturity level on both the parents and the emerging adult side to figure out how they can work together.”

Editor’s note: This story has been updated to include additional details about the daughter from Sherman Oaks, California’s living expenses.

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In successful relationships, both partners feel emotionally secure, connected, and comfortable being themselves around each other. But for many of us, romantic relationships can bring out our deepest insecurities.

As a Harvard-trained psychologist who works with couples, I often tell people that emotional security in a relationship starts with seeing yourself as worthy of love, and trusting that your partner is accepting, caring, and truly committed — through the highs and the lows.

Couples who truly trust each other use seven phrases every day, and they should be relationship goals for all of us.

Feeling safe in a relationship means never having to hide parts of yourself. You are comfortable being vulnerable when talking about painful or difficult topics because you trust that your partner will respond with compassion, not judgement.

Similar phrases:

• “Thank you for loving me as I am.”
• “I appreciate that I can be myself with you.”

Trust is the foundation of emotional security. You believe that your partner’s words and actions align, whether you’re together or apart. You know who they are and you believe they have your best interest in mind.

Similar phrases:

• “Thank you for being respectful of me and our relationship.”
• “We’re a team, and I trust that you want what’s best for the both of us.”

Even the most emotionally secure couples have conflict. What differentiates them is how they handle it. They don’t panic or threaten to leave during disagreements because they trust that the relationship can weather the storms.

Similar phrases:

• “One tough phase doesn’t mean it’s over for us.”
• “Let’s figure this out together.”

People who trust their partners don’t feel threatened during time apart. Alone time feels natural. They respect each other’s need for independence, knowing that it strengthens the relationship.

Similar phrases:

• “I’m glad you’re making time for yourself.”
• “Thanks for giving me the space when I need it, too.”

Missing someone doesn’t mean you’re clingy — it means you’re connected. Even when you support each other’s personal space, you still look forward to being together.

Similar phrases:

• “Being apart helps me realize how grateful I am for you.”
• “I’m excited to see you when you get home.”

Secure relationships make room for hard conversations. When something feels off, you’re not afraid to speak up because you believe your partner will be nurturing and listen with care.

Similar phrases:

• “There’s something I’d like to check in about.”
• “I’ve been feeling a little off and I want to make sure we’re okay.”

Looking forward to the future, whether it’s date night or a shared life goal, indicates mutual investment in the relationship. You see your partner in your long-term vision, and they see you in theirs.

Similar phrases:

• “Can we go over our schedules?”
• “I’m really looking forward to our trip.”

Sharing intimate information about ourselves with our partners isn’t easy. It makes us vulnerable — and if we aren’t met with empathy, it can really hurt.

But the goal is to be in a relationship where we can be fully seen, fully known, and fully accepted. It doesn’t happen overnight, though. It requires conscious effort, and it means learning to accept yourself first, seeing your partner for who they truly are, and committing to growing together over time.

Dr. Cortney S. Warren, PhD, is a board-certified psychologist and author of the new book “Letting Go of Your Ex.” She specializes in romantic relationships, addictive behavior, and honesty. She received her clinical training at Harvard Medical School after earning her doctorate in clinical psychology from Texas A&M University. Follow her on Instagram @DrCortneyWarren or Twitter @DrCortneyWarren.

Are you ready to buy a house? Take Smarter by CNBC Make It’s new online course How to Buy Your First Home. Expert instructors will help you weigh the cost of renting vs. buying, financially prepare, and confidently navigate every step of the process—from mortgage basics to closing the deal. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through July 15, 2025.

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Mark Cuban says he’s a fan of artificial intelligence — so much so that it’s become a regular part of his day-to-day routine.

The billionaire entrepreneur and startup investor uses AI for “everything,” he told the “High Performance” podcast in a June 30 episode. That includes writing code for software development, a skill Cuban hadn’t previously used in years, he added.

“It’s insane how much I use it right now. I downloaded this app, Replit, and you just type in … I want to be able to compare pharmacy costs between my company and these other companies, and every time the price changes send me alerts,” said Cuban, 66. “Within a few minutes, it had the first pass of the software. Then, I just ran it multiple times and gave it new ideas and things I wanted.”

He also uses AI to make text-to-video content for the NBA’s Dallas Mavericks — he’s a minority owner of the team — and to monitor his health, he said.

“I recently had this thing called afib [atrial fibrillation] and I had an ablation, so I had to track all the things I was doing, the drugs I was taking. And in the past, you might have downloaded an app and marked things down,” said Cuban. “I just [went to ChatGPT] and I was like … I’m going to tell you when I take my medicine and when I do my workout, and I want you to record it all. If there’s something there that I write down that you think is not right or I should be concerned about, let me know.”

The technology isn’t perfect, Cuban said: “An advanced programmer could do a better job.”

DON’T MISS: A step-by-step guide to buying your first home—and avoiding costly mistakes

But if you’re not an advanced programmer, you can at least get comfortable with prompt engineering, the process by which you train an AI to give you the output you desire, noted Cuban. Just make sure you fact check anything it tells you, he said: AI chatbots can hallucinate, generating fabricated information and presenting it as fact.

“Chatbots were generally bad at declining to answer questions they couldn’t answer correctly, offering incorrect or speculative answers instead,” found researchers at Columbia University’s Tow Center for Digital Journalism, in a report published on March 25.

Paid chatbots typically presented their incorrect answers more confidently than free ones, and some of the chatbots generated fake links when asked to “accurately retrieve and cite news content,” the researchers found.

“You’ve got to be careful … It’s like talking to a friend who you think knows a lot about something,” said Cuban. “You’ve still got to be careful and talk to an expert.”

Some other tech billionaires — including multiple with vested interests in promoting AI’s use — also say they use the technology regularly.

OpenAI CEO Sam Altman uses the tech to process emails and summarize documents, he told Adam Grant’s “ReThinking” podcast in January. Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella, unsurprisingly, uses Outlook’s AI features to organize and arrange his inbox, he said at the Fast Company Innovation Festival 2024.

Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang, whose company manufactures computer chips used for training and developing AI models, uses chatbots to help him write drafts, he said at a Wired event in December.

“I give it a basic outline, give it some PDFs of my previous talks, and I get it to write my first draft,” said Huang. “It’s really fantastic.”

Are you ready to buy a house? Take Smarter by CNBC Make It’s new online course How to Buy Your First Home. Expert instructors will help you weigh the cost of renting vs. buying, financially prepare, and confidently navigate every step of the process—from mortgage basics to closing the deal. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through July 15, 2025.

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