As students head back to school this fall, many parents feel the urge to do more — to book the tutor, add the extra math lesson, or squeeze in one more after-school activity “just in case.” 

The impulse comes from love and wanting our kids to have opportunities. But somewhere along the way, opportunity can turn into pressure.

During my six years of researching hundreds of high-achieving kids, I’ve found that the real engine behind long-term success is believing that your worth comes from your inherent value and your ability to make a positive impact on the world. 

I call it a “mattering mindset.”

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Many young people today are motivated by the fear that if they fall short, they will be less loved or accepted, as if their value hinges on their performance.

In 2021, I partnered with a Baylor University researcher to investigate the impact of achievement culture among young adults. Our survey — which was published in my book “Never Enough” — of nearly 500 students revealed a sobering finding: More than half believed their parents’ love fluctuated based on their performance.

Psychologists call this “conditional regard,” or parental affection that depends on a child meeting certain expectations, whether academic, athletic, or behavioral.

Children raised on conditional regard can become so afraid of mistakes that even minor setbacks can rattle their sense of self. It can erode self-worth, accelerate burnout, and leave them feeling purposeless once the accolades stop coming or vulnerable to depression when they experience setbacks.

We have to help our kids build a mattering mindset from the start. When children know they are valued despite the outcome, they are freed to take healthy risks, to learn from mistakes, to push harder, and to recover faster.

1. Get a PhD in your child

Become an expert in who they are. What makes them light up? What challenges do they hide? What strengths might others overlook? The more we understand their quirks and talents, the more they feel seen for their unique selves. Feeling known and loved is powerful fuel.

2. Remind them their worth is non-negotiable

When your child fails — gets cut from the team, bombs a test — remind them their value isn’t up for debate.

One mother I interviewed uses this exercise: She holds up a $20 bill. “What’s it worth?” she asks. Then she crumples it and dunks it in water. “What’s it worth now?” Still $20. No matter the setbacks, its value hasn’t changed, and neither has theirs.

3. Get curious, not furious

All children want to do well. If they aren’t thriving, take a step back and ask why. Is it an undiagnosed learning difference? A social conflict? A teaching style mismatch? Struggles are clues.

When we express anger over a child’s performance, it can break the parent-child connection. Curiosity preserves your relationship, and is a gateway to clean fuel.

4. Celebrate their ripple effect

Let them know when their actions make a difference. Whether it’s comforting a sibling, brightening a friend’s day, or coming up with a clever solution, take the time to remind them that their value goes far beyond their achievements.

5. Let your face light up

Too often, we’re so focused on preparing kids for the future that we forget to show them the joy we feel simply by being their parent. At least once a day, show warmth and affection regardless of performance. Let them know they are just as cherished on a bad day as on a good one.

If I could offer one piece of advice to parents this fall, it would be to worry less about the grades and more about the mindset you’re helping cultivate in your child — the one that fuels lifelong achievement.

Jennifer Breheny Wallace is an award-winning journalist and author of the New York Times bestseller ”Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic — and What We Can Do About It.” She lives in New York City with her husband and three teens. You can follow her on Instagram @jenniferbrehenywallace.

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Pursuing a STEM degree — which stands for science, technology, engineering or mathematics— has historically paid off well for college students. But earning that credential may require a lot of study time.

Many of the 10 colleges where students spend the most time studying have STEM-focused curriculums, according to The Princeton Review’s most recent rankings.

The publication surveyed students at nearly 400 U.S. colleges and asked how many hours they spend studying outside of class. Students at California Institute of Technology reported the most study time, followed by Harvey Mudd college.

All Caltech students — including English and history majors — complete a STEM-focused core curriculum, according to the school’s website. And notably, the curriculum is “extraordinarily” hard, the college says. Harvey Mudd exclusively offers Bachelor of Science degrees in a variety of STEM fields to its undergraduates.

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Below are the 10 most studious colleges, per Princeton Review’s rankings, along with tuition costs for the 2025-26 school year, according to each school’s website. Median earnings reflect the median incomes of students who started at each school and received federal aid 10 years ago, according to Department of Education data.

• 2025-26 tuition: $65,622
• Median earnings: $128,566

• 2025-26 tuition: $72,699
• Median earnings: $138,687

• 2025-26 tuition: $64,552
• Median earnings: $129,455

• 2025-26 tuition: $71,788
• Median earnings: $62,830

• 2025-26 tuition: $56,910
• Median earnings: $101,253

• 2025-26 tuition: $68,970
• Median earnings: $71,517

• 2025-26 tuition: $54,890
• Median earnings: $66,240

• 2025-26 tuition: $66,496
• Median earnings: $91,410

• 2025-26 tuition: $65,210
• Median earnings: $110,066

• 2025-26 tuition: $64,310
• Median earnings: $143,372

No. 1-ranked Caltech prides itself on its world-renowned science and technology research. Students there “work together to solve the problems of tomorrow, while enjoying great weather,” a survey respondent wrote for The Princeton Review.

Caltech alumni include astronaut Frank Borman, who commanded the first team of astronauts to circle the moon, and Intel co-founder Gordon Moore, as well as 17 Nobel Laureates, the school reports. The school was also named the seventh-best university in the world in 2025 by Times Higher Education, which ranks global institutions on their faculty reputations and research contributions.

Though some of the most-studious colleges have rigorous non-STEM programs, STEM majors at any given school tend to spend more time studying than their peers in other majors.

First-year undergraduate students in STEM majors spend an average of 17.1 hours a week preparing for class, compared with 15.6 hours a week on average among humanities, communications and social science majors, according to the 2024 National Survey of Student Engagement.

The survey — which polled nearly 476,000 students at 771 institutions — found first-year students across disciplines spend an average of 15.8 hours a week on work outside of class.

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Amid a slowing economy and stagnant job market, even career experts aren’t sure what advice to give job seekers.

The current market has pushed job seekers and recruiters alike into “truly uncharted territory,” according to Morgan Williams, founder and CEO of professional coaching program PeakHR.

“You can’t rely on tactics that we’ve always done, because we’re in a market we’ve never been in before,” she says. “As much as I can say to do this or do that, it’s really, really important to understand that we are all guessing.”

She emphasizes to job seekers that struggling with unemployment is not their fault: “You can be doing everything and still not get the job,” Williams says.

“This is just a crazy market for both sides,” she continues. “You cannot beat yourself up. You have to be so kind to yourself, because you need every ounce of energy that you have.”

Here are Williams’ tips for navigating the challenges of today’s job market.

Build your network “before you need it”

According to Williams, “a lot of people are networking way too late.”

In general, Williams says, it’s best to work on building your network “before you need it,” but many people only reach out to their connections when they’re on the job market.

If your first interaction with someone is to ask them for a favor, they tend to “feel used,” Williams says.

“Nobody just wants to hear, ’I need, I need, I need,” she says.

Before reaching out to a not-so-close connection, Williams recommends doing some extra research on their career and their current role.  

“Too often, people just blindly reach out and say, ‘I need help with this,’” she says. Instead, “show them how you value their work or why you think this person can even be helpful to you.”

At networking events, don’t spend too much time talking about your own career, she says. Asking questions is a great way to build relationships: “People love talking about themselves, so you should allow them to.”

Don’t overlook alumni groups or volunteer organizations as potential spaces for networking, Williams says. Job seekers often forget that their connections outside of work could help them in the job search, too.

Let go of perfection

Now is not the time to hold out for your dream job, Williams says.

Many companies are offering lesser titles or lower pay than before. To avoid draining their savings, job seekers may have to take any position they can get, Williams says.

“I think a lot of people hold on too long just to have that perfect title,” she says. “We’re not in a market for perfection. We’re in the market to pay bills.”

For job seekers struggling to land full-time roles, temporary and contract positions can be good alternatives, she says.

According to Williams, the current job market requires us to “challenge our norms and beliefs” about work and take advantage of all opportunities.

“This is not the time to put your nose up,” she says. “I think we really have to go into survival mode.”

Take care of your well-being

Navigating the job process can be extremely fatiguing, Williams says.

“There’s an emotional load, there’s a physical load, and there’s a mental load, so you’re going to have to figure out how to take care of yourself,” she says.

It’s tempting to retreat inside the safety of your home, but according to Williams, staying connected with the outside world is crucial for your mental health.

“The biggest thing is to get outside your head,” she says. “You are your own worst enemy.”

She recommends finding a positive outlet like volunteering to pursue during your free time.

“If you have nothing else to do with your time and you feel like you’ve reached your limit, finding a purpose is really important,” she says.

Maintaining your relationships is key, too: while working on job applications, Williams recommends asking friends and former colleagues what they think your best attributes are.

Not only will they give you good material for your cover letter, she says, but their kind words will also put a “pep in your step.”

“I think you need that reminder that you do good work and that you are valued,” she says.

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Movement can be one of the most powerful tools for long-term health. The earlier you start building strength, balance, and mobility, the better equipped you’ll be to maintain your independence and well-being later in life.

As a physical therapist and fitness trainer, there are seven key movements I encourage my clients to work on. If you can perform them with control and without pain, especially if you’re in your 30s and 40s, your body is aging better than most.

Keep in mind, though, that everyone is different. I always recommend consulting with a health or fitness professional before trying anything that may be too strenuous.

Push-ups train key muscle groups used in everyday tasks like lifting luggage, getting off the floor, or pushing heavy doors.

They’re also a surprisingly good indicator of cardiovascular health. A 2019 study found that men who could do 40 push-ups in one set had significantly lower risk of heart disease than those who could do 10 or fewer.

Workout tip: Make sure you keep your body in a straight line from head to heels. Squeezing your glutes and bracing your abs will protect your spine and give you more stability.

Grip strength, which pull-ups demand, has been linked to lower mortality rates as we age.

Pull-ups engage your back, shoulders, arms, and core. These muscles support posture and strength for real-life scenarios like carrying groceries, opening tightly closed lids, and even holding onto a pole to prevent yourself from falling while taking public transportation.

Workout tip: If you’re new to pull-ups, try dead hangs, in which you hang from the bar with arms fully extended. Practice building up to 30 seconds.

Your ability to balance on one leg is a key predictor of longevity. In fact, studies show that people who can’t balance on one leg for at least 10 seconds in their 50s have higher risk of mortality.

Workout tip: Try slowly lowering yourself onto a bench or chair using one leg, then stand back up. Aim for 10 reps per side without losing control or balance. This move strengthens your quads and stabilizers, which are crucial for activities like walking downstairs or playing sports.

This move strengthens the posterior chain (your hamstrings and glutes), which helps prevent low back pain and improves walking and running efficiency.

Training this muscle group is important because research has shown that it leads to better outcomes when it comes to pain, disability, and overall muscle strength.

Workout tip: Stand on one leg, hinge at the hips while keeping a soft bend in the knee, and reach your other leg back behind you. Do 10 reps per side. The goal should be to do 10 repetitions without losing your balance or needing to touch the ground with the opposite leg for balance.

As you age, you lose muscle power (your ability to express a lot of work within a short period of time) much more quickly than muscle strength.

According to one study, power decreases about 10% per decade after age 40. Maintaining explosive strength helps with agility, fall prevention, and playing recreational sports well into older age.

Workout tip: Squat jumps need to be done safely, especially if you’re new to them. You don’t need to jump sky-high. Start with low jumps and gradually increase height.

A hop and stick is a controlled jump followed by a strong, balanced landing on the same leg. It’s one of the most demanding athletic moves, challenging your balance, coordination, and joint stability.

Impact activities like this can help improve bone mineral density as well as tendon health, protecting against osteoporosis and injury.

Workout tip: Stick the landing with control to build both power and balance.

The split squat isometric hold is a great exercise to build lower body strength and stability. An isometric hold is when your muscles are not lengthening or shortening, but maintaining a given range.

The leg in the back will improve hip flexor mobility, which tends to get tight when sitting for an extended period of time. The leg in the front will improve quadriceps strength which is another great predictor of longevity.

Workout tip: Try your best to keep your hips square (both hip bones should face forward). Avoid twisting or leaning over your front leg.

Andy Fata-Chan is a physical therapist and the founder of Moment Physical Therapy and Performance, which specializes in helping patients with chronic debilitating pain get back to high performance. His experience ranges from youth athletes to Olympic and professional-level athletes.

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This story is part of CNBC Make It’s Millennial Money series, which details how people around the world earn, spend and save their money.

Roughly 10 years ago, Kaitlin Wichmann’s life looked great on paper: The Kansas native had just graduated from college, was living in Los Angeles, had a full-time marketing job and enjoyed beautiful ocean views while working from her office in Santa Monica.

But she wasn’t happy.

“Every day going into my job, parking in the same spot, going to the same desk, staring at the same wall — I was just like, ‘There has to be more to life than this,’” Wichmann, now 31, tells CNBC Make It.

It was a wakeup call that she was ready to ditch LA, and the U.S. for that matter, to become her own boss and travel the world.

Now, Wichmann’s days are very different: She lives Lisbon, Portugal, and is a freelance digital marketer helping American and Portuguese clients with their online advertising. She sets her own schedule (about 20 hours per week) and often works alongside friends at co-working spaces.

Wichmann earns about $7,000 USD in a typical month, though her income can vary from $2,400 to $12,000 in a month. She says she earns more freelancing today than she did working for an agency in LA.

She spends her free time playing tennis and padel (which is similar to tennis and squash), taking Portuguese lessons, going to the beach and traveling.

“I definitely feel happier and more at peace here,” Wichmann says.

Here’s how she made the leap.

Wichmann’s interest in living abroad started when she was younger. She grew up in Manhattan, Kansas, with her parents and three siblings, and her family often hosted international exchange students. When Wichmann turned 18, she traveled overseas for the first time and stayed with former exchange students in Europe.

She moved to LA for college and started her career there, until she realized she didn’t want to work a 9-to-5 job at all.

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“When you’re just working that much, it just wasn’t enjoyable for me,” she says. “And I realized if I wanted to take a jump and leave a full-time job, I wouldn’t be able to do that in Los Angeles.”

Wichmann started taking freelance marketing work while working full-time at an agency until she eventually had enough clients to make a modest living.

With her own client book, she traded LA for digital nomad life and prioritized places with lower costs of living. She first moved to Bali, Indonesia, in 2019; then went on to Chiang Mai, Thailand; spent a few weeks in Vietnam; and then another two months in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

She moved back to the U.S. and stayed in Kansas City during the Covid-19 pandemic, but by 2021 was ready to keep things moving again.

Wichmann was researching places she wanted to live more long-term when she remembered a previous trip to Madeira, an island off the coast of Portugal. She decided Lisbon checked off the boxes of what she wanted in a new home: good weather, proximity to a beach, a large international community and a walkable city that centered healthy activity.

Around the same time, Portugal was seeing a swell of digital nomads moving in, including from the U.S. More than 714,000 foreigners made up 7% of Portugal’s population in 2021, a new high, according to the Portuguese Immigration and Borders Service.

Wichmann completed the application for her D7 passive income visa remotely under strict Covid guidelines: She submitted her fingerprints, opened a Portuguese bank account with 10,000 euros (about $11,600), got a tax number and signed a lease on an apartment.

The visa allowed her four months to get started in Portugal, and once she arrived, she applied for residency for a two-year stay. Wichmann renewed her visa in 2023, giving her another three years of residency. (Portugal launched a separate D8 visa for digital nomads in October 2022.)

Wichmann’s housing arrangements have run the gamut in Lisbon: First, she stayed in a co-living space, then she subleased short-term rooms in different apartments before she found an apartment of her own. She signed a three-year lease.

The biggest culture shock was learning the local language. “I immediately took classes at a university to learn Portuguese,” Wichmann says, then started taking private lessons and now works one-on-one with a teacher. She books packs of five 60-minute lessons for about $71, or five 30-minute lessons for $50 as needed.

“I feel like that’s what’s really helped me improve and what’s made me a lot more confident in my speaking skills,” she says.

Here’s how Wichmann spent her money in June 2025.

• Rent and utilities: $1,296 for a one-bedroom apartment
• Discretionary: $1,133 on travel, shopping and entertainment
• Food: $500
• Subscriptions and memberships: $207 for ClassPass, tennis lessons, Squarespace, OpenAI, Netflix and Google Cloud
• Student loans: $190
• Transportation: $116 for buses, trains, rideshares and parking
• Phone: $15

Wichmann says she chose the neighborhood she lives in because it’s walkable and not too far from the downtown area of Lisbon, which has plenty of restaurants, cafes and other activities.

She typically uses public transit and buys a monthly unlimited pass for 30 euros, or about $35, but opted to go a la carte in June since she was away traveling.

Wichmann spent time in England in June visiting her boyfriend, Henry Breheny, 31, whom she met in college in LA. They trade off visiting one another every month or so and also travel around the world together.

Most of Wichmann’s June discretionary spending went toward her England trip, as well as booking future travel and treating herself to a pool cabana to celebrate her birthday. She typically pays about $34 per month for about 10 hours of time at co-working spaces, but in June booked herself a three-day pass at a new place for just under $100.

As a freelancer with unpredictable income, Wichmann aims to pay herself $3,000 a month, enough to cover her basic expenses, before dedicating the rest to her student loan payments, savings and investments. She has a six-month emergency fund and over $200,000 in retirement and other investment accounts.

Wichmann is intentional with her work schedule so she has ample time and energy to enrich her personal life.

“A lot of people are like, ‘Wow, you have so much free time!’ But I really fill those other hours with passion projects,” she says.

She’s recently taken up tennis again after playing it when she was younger, and dedicates a portion of her budget to spending on gear, lessons and a club membership. Wichmann also plays padel for extra activity and social time.

Wichmann says getting involved in recreational sports has been a big boost to her social life. She’s made friends through Meetup, Facebook groups and different sports clubs.

“Everyone that I’ve met here is very healthy, very outdoorsy,” Wichmann says. “People just want to live a very active and fulfilled life, and I find that very inspiring.”

If there’s one thing Wichmann misses about the comforts of home in the U.S., “it’s how quickly you can get anything that you want delivered to your doorstep,” she says.

But it’s a small adjustment she’s happy to make. Ultimately, she sees herself in Portugal for the long-term.

“When I moved to Lisbon, Portugal, my plan was to live here at least five years and then decide where I wanted to go after that,” Wichmann says. But for now, “I don’t see myself moving anywhere else, at least outside of Portugal. I just really like it here.”

She says her financial goals are modest: She wants to be able to pay her bills and maybe one day buy a house in Portugal with her boyfriend.

As for her career, Wichmann sees her job as a means to living a more fulfilling life. “When I was living in Los Angeles, pretty much my life revolved around work,” she says. Now, “my life revolves around my life with work scattered in.”

“I want to show people that there’s a way of working that isn’t a traditional 9-to-5,” she says, “and to inspire people that they can live life to the fullest.”

Conversions from euros to U.S. dollars were done using the OANDA conversion rate of 1 euro to 1.17 USD on June 30, 2025. All amounts are rounded to the nearest dollar.

What’s your budget breakdown? Share your story with us for a chance to be featured in a future installment.

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