I’ve spent more than 12 years studying happiness and human nature. Along the way, I’ve collected what I call “Secrets of Adulthood” — the lessons I’ve learned, with time and experience, about how to create lives that are happier, more meaningful, and more confident.

Many of my most important discoveries can be distilled into one short line. As the old saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher appears,” and sometimes reading a single sentence can spark a transformative insight.

1. Accept yourself, and expect more from yourself.

To be happier, seek to have self-compassion and acknowledge the natural limits of your nature; also seek to grow, stretch, and push yourself outside of our comfort zone.

2. Working is one of the most dangerous forms of procrastination. 

In my case, work-procrastination often takes the form of needless research. It may look like work, but if it’s not actually helping me achieve my work aims, I’m goofing off.

3. What we do every day matters more than what we do once in a while.

If we go for 20-minute walk most days each month, it’s okay if we miss a few days here or there; if we go for an hour’s walk just one day each month, we won’t accomplish much.

4. A strong voice repels as well as attracts. 

As a writer, I often remind myself of this truth. If I aim to be so mild that no one can disagree with my conclusions or object to my style, my work will be featureless and boring.

5. Perfectionism is driven not by high standards but by anxiety. 

If you feel plagued by perfectionism, don’t worry about lowering your standards but rather work to address your anxieties.

6. To respect us, people must first notice us; we can’t earn trust and admiration from the sidelines. 

Many people are puzzled when their efforts aren’t recognized; the problem is that no one knows what they’re doing.

7. If we’re not failing, we’re not trying hard enough. 

By trying to avoid failure, we’re also avoiding the risks and challenges that lead to accomplishment and opportunity.

8. Before declaring that something is superficial, un­healthy, inefficient, dangerous, disgusting, or immoral, we should consider: Maybe this just doesn’t suit my taste. 

Consider instead: Writing was denounced for fear that dependence on the written word would weaken people’s memories. Railroad travel was denounced for fear that it would cause brain damage. Postcards were denounced for fear that they would encourage heedless, frivolous disclosure.

9. The sharing of tasks often leads to the shirking of tasks.

We’ve all experienced this phenomenon!

10. Nothing is more exhausting than the task that’s never started.

I’ve felt overwhelmed for a week because I delayed writing an email that, in the end, took me 20 seconds to draft.

11. It’s easier to change our surroundings and our schedules than to change ourselves.

Instead of trying to become a “morning person,” do your most taxing work late in the day. Instead of trying to become a marathoner who works slowly and steadily toward a deadline, embrace your sprinter nature and the fact that you do your best work when you’re racing to meet a deadline.

12. The bird, the bee, and the bat all fly, but they use different wings. 

Nothing is a one-size-fits-all! Use the approach and the tools that work best for you.

Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential observers of happiness and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the bestseller ”The Happiness Project.” Her books have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than 30 languages. She hosts the award-winning podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she explores practical solutions for living a happier life. Her new book, ”Secrets of Adulthood,” is out now.

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When Neil Hershman, the 30-year-old CEO and majority owner of frozen yogurt chain 16 Handles, visits his self-serve dessert shops, he keeps it simple. His go-to order: a plain tart-flavored swirl with strawberries, blueberries, chocolate chips and hazelnut crunch.

And no, he does not eat frozen yogurt every day — just a few times a week, he says.

In 2024, New York-based 16 Handles brought in $20.6 million in systemwide sales, and in the first six months of 2025, systemwide sales reached $12.5 million, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It.

Once crowded with brands like TCBY, Yogurtland and Menchie’s, the self-serve frozen yogurt space has been shrinking since 2016, according to data from food service research firm Technomic. However, since taking over the company in 2022, Hershman says there’s been a “surge” in customer demand at 16 Handles.

In-store traffic has been on the rise, people are spending more in stores and same-store sales have increased by over 10% year over year since he took over, he says.

“Everybody thought frozen yogurt was fading … but we revived the category,” Hershman says.

Solomon Choi founded 16 Handles in 2008 in Manhattan’s East Village. Named for the 16 different flavors of self-serve frozen yogurt, soft-serve ice cream or sorbet you can find in each store, the chain currently has 40 locations, mostly on the East Coast.

After graduating from college and moving to New York City in 2017 to work in asset management, Hershman, who rarely ate frozen yogurt growing up, says he quickly became a regular at the Murray Hill 16 Handles location down the block from his first apartment.

Two years into his job in finance, he realized the career wasn’t a fit for him, so in 2019, at 23 years old, Hershman says he quit his job and purchased a 16 Handles franchise using “effectively all the cash” he had saved up at that point — $160,000 in savings and just under $400,000 from a Small Business Administration loan and seller’s note.

“I was looking for something that was a little bit more hands on, down to earth and in person,” he says. “I worked the register for full shifts days in and days out … Through that, I learned the business from the inside.”

By 2022, the then-27-year-old owned six locations and says he had become the largest franchise owner of 16 Handles — but he wanted to do more. He says he sat down with 16 Handles leadership to talk about how he could help grow the brand, but realized the company had gotten “stale” in its operations.

“There was no energy and spark and innovation,” he says. “That was very exciting to me because it showed that with new energy and new ideas, there was room to push the needle and innovate.”

That year, he made a bid to purchase the entire company, using all of his existing locations as collateral to secure the acquisition for an undisclosed price. Today, Hershman says he is the majority owner of 16 Handles. YouTube comedian Danny Duncan owns a stake in the company, along with several other minority investors, he says.

To get people through the door, Hershman has started launching limited edition flavors like French fry, butter beer and black matcha. Behind the scenes, he says he’s also invested in revamping the company’s digital marketing strategy.  

So far, Hershman says his efforts to revitalize the brand have been working. Since he took over, the chain has added about 10 new locations. The company’s corporate operations are profitable, and he says he’s working with 18 franchisees looking to open new stores, with an additional five to six locations expected to open this year.

The decision to invest in frozen yogurt may be well timed. Nationally, consumers appear to be embracing frozen yogurt once again, says David Portalatin, a food service analyst at market research firm Circana. As of July 2025, total frozen yogurt servings consumed increased by 10% compared with the previous year — “a big deal in the context of an overall flat to slightly declining food service market,” he says.

People may be returning to frozen yogurt not just out of nostalgia, but as part of a larger trend toward health consciousness, with many consumers viewing it as a healthier alternative to other frozen treats like ice cream, Portalatin says.

While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying a fun dessert after dinner, registered dietitian Leah Kaufman cautions consumers to be wary of the sugar content in frozen yogurt, which can be equally as high as levels found in soda and ice cream. “If you’re looking for the health benefits of dessert, I would probably look elsewhere,” she says.

From the frozen mixes produced exclusively with a creamery in California to the self-serve in-store experience, Hershman says 16 Handles is priced as a “higher-end” product compared to a Mister Softee truck, for example. On average, customers spend anywhere from $8 to $10 when they visit 16 Handles, he says.

He’s not looking for customers to come to his store every day either. Rather, he views his frozen yogurt, which is priced by weight, as an “affordable luxury” — a sweet treat a few times a week, he says.

For Hershman, this is just the beginning. He says he expects the number of locations to grow to about 100 stores in the next couple of years, and eventually, wants to see the brand become a household name.

“My career in finance really taught me how to model risks, and in frozen yogurt, now I manage cookie dough inventory,” Hershman says. “Both are very volatile markets, but one is a lot more fun.”

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Parents are constantly searching for ways to get their kids to listen. But a lot of us focus too much on trying to get them to obey in the moment, rather than building genuine long-term cooperation.

I’ve studied over 200 parent-child relationships, and I’m a mother myself. I’ve learned that kids listen best when they feel connected. A big part of that is emotional safety: knowing they are respected and have the freedom to express their feelings.

Here are six magic phrases that calm a child’s nervous system and make cooperation feel natural, which is the real secret to getting them to listen.

The moment kids feel doubted (“Did you really mean to do that?”), their defenses go up. They shift from connection into self-protection.

Belief defuses shame and creates safety. When a child feels safe, they can actually hear you.

Example:

Child: “I didn’t spill the juice on purpose!”

Parent: “I believe you. Let’s clean it up together.”

You’re addressing the behavior without getting into an argument.

The situation often turns into a standoff when there’s a parent just barking orders. But when kids help solve the problem, they’re more likely to stick to the solution.

Example:

Child refuses to clean up toys.

Parent: “I see you don’t want to clean everything now. Let’s figure this out together. What’s the first step?”

You’re still holding the boundary while preventing power struggles.

When kids are overwhelmed, they’re in survival mode and logic doesn’t land. Their nervous system is in fight-or-flight, and they need help regulating their emotions. This phrase validates their feelings and assures them they’re not alone, which helps them reset.

Example:

Preschooler has a meltdown when their tower of blocks fall. Instead of “Stop crying, you’re overreacting,” say: “You can feel this. I’m right here.”

You’re letting the wave of emotions pass until they’re ready to re-engage.

Before a child will listen to you, they need to feel heard. This simple shift of giving attention before demanding it dissolves resistance. When kids feel understood, they stop trying to push back.

Example:

Child: “I’m never playing with my brother again!”

Parent: “I’m listening. Tell me what’s going on.”

Now you’re uncovering the deeper hurt behind the anger, and that’s the part you can address to help repair both the relationship and the behavior.

Many meltdowns escalate because kids feel misunderstood or in conflict with the very person they need most. This phrase instantly shifts you from adversary to ally, lowering defenses and opening the door to problem-solving.

Example:

Child: “This homework is stupid! I’m not doing it.”

Parent: “I hear you. I’m on your side. Let’s find a way to make this easier.”

Knowing you’re there to help changes the tone entirely. They’ll be far more likely to meet you halfway.

Mistakes can trigger shame. But when kids hear this phrase, they learn that love isn’t conditional on performance or perfection.

Example:

Your child breaks a classmate’s project and calls you in tears.

Instead of lecturing, you say: “I’ve got you, no matter what. We’ll make it right together.”

That’s the difference between fear-based compliance and real accountability.  

I always tell parents that if their default is yelling or threatening, then no “magic phrase” will undo the deeper pattern. But when you regularly protect your child’s dignity, make them feel safe, and follow through on boundaries, listening becomes the natural outcome.

Reem Raouda is a leading voice in conscious parenting and the creator of FOUNDATIONS, a step-by-step guide that helps parents heal and become emotionally safe. She is widely recognized for her expertise in children’s emotional safety and for redefining what it means to raise emotionally healthy kids. Connect with her on Instagram.

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It can be hard to see other couples’ fancy vacations, expensive gifts for each other, and Michelin star dinner dates without feeling as though you aren’t doing enough to keep the spark alive in your own relationship. 

Yet, as both a psychologist who studies couples and as a husband, I always encourage people to inject novelty into their relationship. Thankfully, fun comes in a variety of shapes, sizes, and price-points. And often, the most meaningful forms cost $0.

Here’s what the happiest, most successful couples do for fun — that most others neglect.

Not every couple has the time or budget to hop on a plane whenever they feel like shaking things up. But that doesn’t stop happy couples from finding adventure. They just do it locally.

Research shows that “micro-adventures” (think: staycations, day trips, or even discovering a new coffee shop across town) can bring just as much joy as big vacations.

They explore their city like tourists. They hit the trails, visit bookstores, museums, or check out that weird roadside attraction. The idea is to make the ordinary feel novel.

You love reading. Your partner is into video games. It might not seem like a match made in heaven — until you realize you can do them together, separately.

Psychologists call this “parallel play”: when couples do their own thing, but in the same space. Instead of forcing shared interests, you’re just creating shared presence.

As a result, couples can easily stay bonded without burning themselves out. Low-pressure, comfortable companionship supports deeper intimacy just as much as active socialization can. 

Yes, doing your own thing is important. But research shows that shared hobbies and rituals are strongly linked to relationship satisfaction.

This doesn’t mean starting a couple’s podcast or training for a marathon (unless you want to). For most couples, it’s as simple as a standing game night, a Sunday morning walk, or a favorite TV show they only watch together.

The point is consistency. These small shared rituals become something to look forward to, no matter how busy life gets.

Errands. Laundry. Dishes. Not exactly romantic. For working couples or couples with kids, it can be especially hard to find time for fun. This is why researchers agree that intentional playfulness should be a priority.

The happiest couples I know are good at “hijacking” the mundane. If they’re stuck with a boring chore or task, they’ll find a playlist or a show to put on in the background to spice it up. And if they’re out of the house running errands, they’ll turn it into an opportunity for a little game or competition.

They ensure that laughter and silliness is always on the agenda, even if it happens to overlap with their other tasks.

Remember your first date? That inside joke you used to have? That song that used to be “yours”?

So many people look back nostalgically at the early days of their relationship and think about how easy and simple it was to have fun. But happy couples know that the thrill of the honeymoon phase never has to end if they continue to honor it.

Research shows that rituals play an integral part of relationship satisfaction, quality, and intimacy. Happy couples leverage this by giving the activities that once brought them together a cherished place in their relationship.

Make it a point to talk, dream, and joke with your partner in the same playful, coy ways you did when you first met. It will keep things fun while simultaneously honoring the many ways your relationship came to be.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

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Inflation has picked up since President Donald Trump announced new import tariffs in April, with the latest consumer price index data showing outsized increases in tariff-sensitive categories, including coffee, toys and televisions.

Overall prices rose 2.9% in August from a year earlier, up from 2.7% in June and July, according to CPI data released Thursday. The CPI measures the cost of a broad basket of everyday goods and services, including groceries, rent and medical care.

That leaves inflation drifting farther from the Federal Reserve’s target of 2%. Core inflation, which excludes volatile food and energy prices, rose 0.4% in August, the biggest monthly gain since January, and is up 3.1% from a year earlier.

Taken together, this means more pressure on everyday household spending.

Although Trump’s sweeping tariffs were first announced in April, the effects have shown up unevenly since goods move through supply chains at different rates and imports make up a larger share for some products than others.

Even so, they still have a “significant impact on prices,” according to the Federal Reserve Bank of San Francisco.

Take bananas, for example. Prices climbed 4.9% from April through August — equivalent to an annualized pace of about 15% — a notable jump for a category that rarely sees much inflation. Virtually all U.S. supply comes from Central and South America and is now subject to a 10% tariff.

Bananas aren’t the only industry affected. The Fed’s Beige Book survey in August said all regions were seeing tariff-related price increases, spanning sectors from food and retail to manufacturing and health care, with many businesses reporting they’ve started to pass those costs on to consumers.

Overall, Americans now face an average tariff rate of 17.4% — the highest since 1935 — an increase estimated to cost households an extra $2,300 in 2025, according to the Yale Budget Lab. (These estimates include tariffs imposed under the International Emergency Economic Powers Act, which remain in place while the court challenge is pending).

To get a sense of where else inflation has been heading, here’s a look at five of the most-impacted products since April, compared with their historical norms for the same time period over the last 10 years.

Coffee prices jumped 9.8% from April to August, including a 3.6% spike last month. Poor harvests earlier this year had already tightened supply, but prices rose dramatically faster after new import tariffs took effect.

Since the U.S. grows less than 1% of the coffee it consumes, the market is especially exposed to import duties. Global tariffs that started at 10% in April were later raised sharply on major suppliers like Vietnam and Indonesia.

Brazil — which supplies more than a third of the U.S.’s arabica beans — was hit with a 50% duty on Aug. 6. That late move could keep coffee prices climbing in the months ahead, industry groups say.

Jewelry and watch prices surged 5.5% in August, far above their historical average monthly gain of 0.8%.

The U.S. relies heavily on imports for luxury jewelry and its components, and since April a 10% tariff has been broadly applied to this category.

But rates have gone higher still. On Aug. 7, the U.S. raised tariffs on all Swiss imports — including watches — to 39%, far above the baseline. Switzerland supplies more than 90% of the U.S.’s imported precious-metal wristwatches, per the Wall Street Journal.

The U.S. has also extended tariffs to India, a leading supplier of cut and synthetic diamonds, and to Japan, which exports premium mechanical watches to the U.S. Those additional levies could push jewelry and watch prices higher in the coming months.

Normally a stable category in the CPI, bananas saw an unusually sharp 4.9% increase between April and August. With virtually all supply imported from Central and South America, the U.S. market is directly exposed to tariffs, including the 10% across-the-board duty imposed in April.

Bananas remain cheap compared with most fruits and vegetables, with a reputation for long-running price stability. Reflective of that stability, Trader Joe’s held its banana price at 19 cents each for more than two decades, only raising it to 23 cents in early 2024.

Television prices edged up 2.5% in August and are up 3.1% since April. 

While the increase might seem modest, television prices have been on a downward trajectory since the late 1990s. Manufacturing efficiencies and the rise of “smart” TVs that generate revenue from advertising and data collection have helped drive sticker prices lower.

Nearly all TVs sold in the U.S. are imported, mainly from Mexico, China and Vietnam. Imports from Mexico can face tariffs of up to 25%, depending on compliance with USMCA rules, while some shipments from China face rates as high as 30% and Vietnamese TVs generally face a 20% duty.

The summer run up in prices stands out as a break from the usual pattern for a product that typically gets cheaper over time.

Toy prices rose 2.5% between April and August, the steepest four-month gain since 2021.

Like TVs, toys are largely manufactured abroad, with roughly 70% of U.S. imports coming from China. Tariff classifications are not always clear, but many Chinese toy imports could be subject to tariffs around 30%, depending on classification, while some shipments from Vietnam may be taxed at higher rates.

The increase is notable because toy prices have been on a long downward trajectory.

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