When you dream about being happier in the future, you’re probably imagining yourself being content with what you have. Maybe you picture a new house or a luxurious lifestyle. But what you’re really imagining is being satisfied with those things. You’re not just picturing wealth, you’re picturing contentment.

That’s the feeling we’re all chasing. But often, when reality doesn’t live up to expectations, it’s because the moment we get something new, we immediately start wanting whatever comes next.

While researching and writing my book, “The Art of Spending Money: Simple Choices for a Happier Life,” I gained some fascinating insights into why chasing more often leads to less happiness.

The French writer Marcel Proust once told the story of a young man who was obsessed with the lives of the rich and powerful. Proust then told the young man to spend his time focusing on the artist Jean Siméon Chardin.

Chardin painted scenes of everyday life — food, animals, nature. The point was to appreciate objects that he already had in front of him. To learn to appreciate the life he had rather than to dwell on the dream life he didn’t. “When you walk around a kitchen, you will say to yourself, this is interesting, this is grand, this is beautiful like a Chardin,” Proust wrote.

The lesson is to appreciate what’s in front of you rather than dwelling on what you don’t have. What a wonderful analogy for money, too.

The happiest people I know are the most content. Not necessarily the richest, the healthiest, the most beautiful, or the most successful. Just whoever gets to a point of saying, “I’m satisfied with what I have and who I am.”

Some of these people spend a lot of money and live incredibly materialistic lives. But I often think about my grandmother-in-law, who spent three decades in retirement with very little money, living off a meager Social Security check and nothing else. She was technically on the verge of poverty. But she was perfectly content in her small garden and reading books from the library.

She had little, but wanted even less. And she was one of the happiest people you could have ever met.

For most people, there’s a hierarchy of spending that goes something like this:

• If you don’t want something and don’t have it, you don’t think about it.
• If you want something and have it, you might feel OK.
• If you want something and don’t have it, you might feel motivated.
• If you want something and can’t have it, you drive yourself absolutely mad.

The sooner you can look around and say, “This is enough” (regardless of your income or lifestyle), the sooner you’ll realize you’ve been rich all along.

I’ve met half a dozen billionaires in my life — not a single one was as happy as my grandmother-in-law. It was easy to see why: Her low expectations gave her a sense of contentment, which in turn became an enormous source of psychological wealth that some of the richest people in the world lack.

Psychological wealth is such an important concept, and with money it comes from proper expectations.

The person who has everything but wants even more feels poorer than the person who has little but wants nothing else. How could it be any different?

That’s not a plea to live like a monk. You can have a huge house, an expensive car, take incredible vacations — and be content with all of it, appreciating it and desiring nothing more. That can be an amazing life.

The key is realizing that happiness is the state when nothing is missing, regardless of the lifestyle you’re living.

Morgan Housel is the author of the new book, ”The Art of Spending Money: Simple Choices for a Richer Life,” and the New York Times bestsellers ”The Psychology of Money″ and ”Same As Ever.” He is a two-time winner of the Best in Business Award from the Society of American Business Editors and Writers, and winner of the New York Times Sidney Award. MarketWatch named him one of the 50 most influential people in markets. He’s a partner at The Collaborative Fund and is the host of The Morgan Housel Podcast.

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*This is an adapted excerpt from ”The Art of Spending Money: Simple Choices for a Richer Life,” by Morgan Housel, in agreement with Portfolio, an imprint of Penguin Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. Copyright © Morgan Housel, 2025.

Florence Poirel was earning about $390,000 a year in Zurich, Switzerland, as a senior program manager at Google when she decided to walk away in 2024.

The now-37-year-old wasn’t unhappy with her job. “By the time I left Google, I was absolutely not in a position of burnout,” she tells CNBC Make It. “The team was pleasant. The work was pleasant enough as well.”

What pushed her instead was clarity. “I realized how much quality time with the people I love is the most important,” she says.

That included her partner, Jan, a fellow Googler who is 17 years her senior. After meeting him in 2017, she realized she had to rethink traditional retirement. “I could not just wait for retirement to enjoy my time with him because he would be much older at that time,” she says.

Poirel had always been a diligent saver, but the realization inspired her to start following the FIRE movement — short for “financial independence, retire early” — which emphasizes saving and investing aggressively to leave the workforce early.

“That’s when it hit me that I didn’t need to keep on climbing that ladder. I had reached the point when it was just enough — and I was happy and free to do something else,” she says.

By January 2024, she had saved up about $1.5 million, and in April of that year, she and Jan quit their jobs. Poirel calls her break a “mini-retirement” — setting aside enough cash to cover 18 months — although she has no firm plans for when, or if, she’ll return to full-time work.

“I’m not particularly antsy about going back to employment,” she says. “I thought that would be by now, but I really enjoy the daily life that we’ve created in this mini retirement.”

Poirel’s willingness to make big changes isn’t new. In 2013, she was in a marketing job in Belgium she didn’t like. On the way home after a long week, she told a colleague she felt unfulfilled, and he replied with the French phrase “qui ne tente rien n’a rien” — he who risks nothing has nothing.

The words stayed with her throughout that weekend. Poirel says she realized she needed the “courage to do something different” to be happy.

The following Monday, she quit. She decided to move to Dublin, Ireland — a tech hub in Europe — with no job and no connections. Soon after arriving, she landed a contract role at Google earning about $60,000, working in content safety and moderation, which began her career at the company.

Poirel’s risk paid off. She spent more than a decade at Google, rising steadily through new teams and promotions. In 2017, she transferred from Dublin to Zurich, where she moved into project management and eventually senior leadership roles, raising her salary to $390,000 by 2024.

Once Poirel had reached her goal of $1.5 million in savings in January 2024, it was just a matter of deciding when to make the leap. For someone who describes herself as “risk-averse” when it comes to money, it wasn’t easy to walk away from her high-paying job.

“Saying no to this kind of income can be daunting, for sure,” Poirel says.

But she hasn’t looked back. In mini-retirement, she spends her days swimming in Lake Zurich, providing career coaching for women and traveling abroad with Jan. “I thought I would get bored very easily. But now, it’s been a year and a half and I still haven’t [had] a time of boredom,” she says.

While she might return to work, it will be on her terms, whether that’s working part-time or only doing what she finds fulfilling. Either way, she feels fortunate that she saved enough money to make that choice.

“Life is too short and life is beautiful and it’s too sad to spend most of that time spending it at work when we can spend it in beautiful nature with friends, family, loved ones, and doing things that make us truly happy,” she says.

All amounts are in U.S. dollars, converted from Swiss francs at the OANDA exchange rate of 1 CHF to 1.22 USD on May 31, 2025.

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A lot of parents struggle with the idea of giving their kids access to smartphones or other connected devices. How old should they be when they get their first phone or tablet? What parental controls, if any, should you use?

No matter what you decide, you need to follow one “imperative” rule to help your kids grow up to be happy, successful adults, says psychologist Jean Twenge: “No electronic devices in the bedroom overnight.”

“That’s just a situation where there’s, kind of, no argument: ‘You do not need that phone in your bedroom when you are supposed to be sleeping. Period. End of story. Mic drop. We’re done,’” says Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University whose latest book, “10 Rules for Raising Kids in a High-Tech World,” published on September 2.

Twenge has spent much of the past decade warning parents about the risks of giving young adolescents unlimited access to smartphones and social media. She’s cited research connecting their usage to higher rates of mental health issues in teens, including anxiety and depression.

Some other parenting and medical experts have issued similar warnings: In 2023, then-U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory warning that the risks of social media and connected devices have helped create “a national youth mental health crisis,” for example.

In her book, Twenge advocates for parents to wait as long as possible before handing over smartphones to their kids, or allowing them on social media platforms. She recommends keeping kids from joining social media until they’re 16 or older, and from having full access to their own smartphone until they have a driver’s license and are expected to “get around independently.”

But banning devices from kids’ rooms overnight is her No. 1 rule because of its potential to improve their sleep habits, she says. Doing so is “absolutely crucial for both physical and mental health,” she notes in her book.

“If you have the bandwidth to fully follow only one rule in this book, make it this one,” writes Twenge. “No devices in the bedroom overnight is very straightforward and costs nothing.”

Devices in bedrooms can easily cut into sleeping time, whether your teen puts off shutting their eyes to continue scrolling through social media or the sounds of notifications keep waking them up, research shows.

More than two-thirds of adolescents surveyed by Common Sense Media in 2023 reported missing out on sleep “sometimes” or “often” due to using phones or other devices late at night in their bedrooms. Overall, 77% of teens get an insufficient amount of sleep, according to data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

“Not getting enough sleep is a risk factor for just about everything we’d like our kids to avoid, from getting sick to feeling depressed,” Twenge writes in her book.

Looking at screens in bed is connected to higher rates of mental and physical health issues for adults, too. But healthy sleeping habits are even more important for kids, because their brains are still developing. Sleep can help enable their cognitive development and mental health, including their ability to learn and regulate their emotions — traits they’ll need to develop to grow up and become happy, healthy and successful adults.

“If you can only do one thing, [this rule] might end up making the biggest difference,” says Twenge.

Any of Twenge’s rules will likely be met with resistance from kids, especially teenagers who already regularly use their smartphones and other devices at all times of day, she says. You can more easily implement and enforce these types of policies by communicating them to your kids at an early age, she advises.

Twenge recommends having conversations about the dangers of smartphones — and the need for strict rules around their use — as soon as elementary school. “Kids are getting these devices younger and younger” and your child might have friends who are already using connected devices at that age, she says.

Parents of older kids can also backtrack and put new, stricter rules in place. That’s what Twenge did with her own three teenage daughters, after initially allowing them to use their laptops overnight, she says. Retroactively establishing strict rules isn’t easy, she adds: “The first few days might be tough, and you might get some slammed doors.”

Her advice is to be transparent, but firm, about your decision process. “You should be honest with your kid [and say], ‘Look, I made a mistake. I now know more, I’ve learned more, and we’re going to do it differently going forward,’” says Twenge.

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Before Markeiz Ryan, 36, left the U.S. Air Force in 2019, he took a trip to Vietnam and that experience changed the course of his life.

“It just looked like so much fun and it really lived up to all the hype,” Ryan tells CNBC Make It. “I ended up having the best time of my life, and that depression was [just] gone.”

Ryan says that after that first visit to Vietnam and how happy he was there, he didn’t want to let go of that feeling. He started planning his return to the country.

The veteran returned to his life in the United States and the Air Force, where he completed his service on a military base in Wyoming before being honorably discharged in 2019.

Soon after leaving the Air Force, Ryan relocated to Vietnam, where he lives off roughly $4,000 a month, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It. His monthly income stems from several sources, including VA disability, the GI Bill since he’s pursuing a master’s degree, and teaching English. Ryan also occasionally takes on odd jobs, such as voiceover work, and is an avid fan of day trading.

Ryan suffers from spine arthritis, respiratory issues, auditory pain, and mental health challenges from his time in the military.

“This might not sound like a lot in America but trust me, this is more than enough to be middle or even above middle class in Vietnam,” he says.

When Ryan first arrived, he worked with a longtime friend and realtor to find his first apartment. He moved around a lot at first because of all the noise pollution. He also wanted to take advantage of low rent prices during the covid-19 pandemic.

“There’s a lot of honking, street sellers and sometimes karaoke really loudly, so if you are very intolerant to noise, this might not be the place for you,” he says.

In 2023, Ryan moved into the two-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment where he currently resides in Ho Chi Minh City. It is in one of the country’s tallest residential towers. Ryan says what he loves the most is the view.

“The view is so good here. I can’t pass it up for everything. I’m never going to resign unless they kick me out,” he says.

His utilities round up to about $130, which includes electricity, water and housekeeping.

Ryan has been in this space for two years now and has no plans of leaving the apartment — or Vietnam.

“If I leave, it’s because Vietnam told me to leave. In America, I felt very unmotivated. I felt like no matter how hard you work, you’re still in poverty. You’re constantly chasing a standard that you can’t really achieve,” he says.

“Here in Vietnam, it takes a lot of the monetary pressure out of your day-to-day. You focus on what makes you happy, who you want to become and how you’re going to get there.”

This experience, he says, is the complete opposite of what his life was like back in the U.S.

“Every day I wake up with a long to-do list of things I want to do, not the things that I need to do, and it’s a completely different way of living. Even if you need to work 40 hours a week here, you’re doing it as an investment in your future. Getting out of survival mode makes things infinitely more human.”

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When people ask me what couples fight about the most, they expect the usual suspects like money, sex or parenting. But after years of research, and from real-life experience in my own marriage, the answer is much simpler: tone of voice.

That’s right. It’s not the dishes in the sink or the unpaid credit card bill. It’s how partners speak to each other about those things that creates tension.

It only takes a subtle shift in tone — a sigh, an eye-roll, or a sharp edge in your voice — for a simple question like “Did you take out the trash?” or “Sure, whatever you say…” to land like an accusation.

Research backs this up: One study found that when we interpret messages, only a small portion comes from the actual words. The rest? It’s all nonverbal: facial expressions, body language, and especially tone.

When we argue with someone we love, tone tends to dominate because it carries emotional weight. A clipped delivery can sound like blame. A flat one might feel like indifference. Sarcasm can come across as contempt.

We often don’t remember the exact words said in a fight. But we do remember how our partner sounded and how it made us feel.

We all slip up. When we’re tired, stressed, or distracted, our tone can betray our actual intentions.

The fix is to catch yourself in real time. If you notice your voice is harsher than intended, pause. Then, try these simple repair moves: 

• “Sorry, I didn’t mean for that to come out so sharp. Let me say it differently.”
• “I realize that sounded a lot harsher than what I intended. What I’m trying to say is…”
• “Hold on, I don’t like how that came out. Let me try that again.”

It doesn’t need to be dramatic, but you should be honest. That means calling yourself out instead of pretending nothing happened. With practice, this honesty becomes easier: You build the muscle by noticing your slip-ups, owning them quickly, and then rephrasing. 

These small adjustments show your partner that you’re self-aware, and it can stop an argument before it snowballs.

When your partner’s tone turns sharp, it’s natural to mirror it. But doing that often leads to a blame spiral about how you’re fighting, instead of resolving the actual issue.

The key is to interrupt the cycle without escalating it. Try saying:

• “I didn’t like the way that sounded. Can you say it a different way?”
• “I want to hear you out, but your tone is making that difficult for me right now. Can you try again?”
• “I get that you’re frustrated, but can you explain that for again a little more calmly?”

No accusations. No defensiveness. Just a simple nudge toward better communication.

Sometimes, both partners fall into the tone trap. One person gets defensive, the other responds with more edge. Soon, you’re both in a reactive back-and-forth.

The only way out? Someone has to be brave enough to hit the reset button.

I call it a “reset phrase.” This could be:

• “Let’s start over.”
• An inside joke.
• A nonverbal gesture like a hand squeeze.

In my marriage, sometimes my wife will laugh and say, “Listen to us. We sound like teenagers.” Other times, I’ll make a joke and suggest we take a breather. These resets don’t erase the disagreement, but they do defuse the tone, allowing for a more productive conversation.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

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