I’ve studied over 200 kids—parents who raise mentally strong children never do 7 things
As parents, it’s our job to give our kids the tools they need to face struggle without breaking.
I’ve studied over 200 parent-child relationships, and I’m a mother myself. My goal has always been to teach kids how to process hard feelings and move forward. Mentally strong kids know how to regulate their emotions, trust themselves, and rebound after setbacks. And that kind of strength is built at home, in the everyday moments between parent and child.
Here are seven things to avoid if you want to raise mentally strong kids.
1. Rescuing kids from every struggle
Kids build resilience by learning that can get through tough situations. When you rush to fix every problem, you rob your child of resilience. Let them wrestle with discomfort while staying present as their safe base.
What to do: Clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour says kids who regularly face age-appropriate challenges build stronger emotional regulation over time.
If your child forgets their homework, let them face the natural consequence instead of driving it to school for them. Then talk afterward about what they learned and how they can plan differently next time.
2. Trying to model perfection
It’s okay to lose your temper sometimes. But parents who raise mentally strong kids don’t pretend like something didn’t happen — or blame the child for “making” them react.
Mental strength happens when you move through problems without destroying trust.
What to do: If you snapped at them, say: “I was stressed and took it out on you. I’m sorry.” Your child learn will that mistakes don’t end relationships, and that taking responsibility is strength.
This models what experts call “rupture and repair,” a foundational concept in connection and emotional intelligence.
3. Silencing big feelings
Shutting down big feelings like anger or sadness teaches kids to fear their own emotions. Strength comes from knowing that hard feelings are manageable.
This is also where kids practice social resilience. If they know anger or sadness won’t destroy your bond, they’re more prepared to face rejection or conflict with peers.
What to do: When your child is upset, avoid saying, “You’re fine.” Instead say: “I know that really hurt. I’m here with you.” Your calm presence teaches them emotions aren’t emergencies.
4. Prizing achievement
A child who only feels valuable when they succeed will crumble under pressure. Mentally strong kids know their worth doesn’t depend on grades or trophies.
What to do: Studies show that perfectionism is rising in kids, which is linked to anxiety and burnout in adolescence.
After a poor grade, avoid saying, “You’re smarter than this.” Instead, say: “I’m proud of the effort you put in. Your grade doesn’t define you.”
5. Hoarding power
Authoritarian parenting looks strong but breeds weakness. When kids never get a voice, they learn to either collapse or rebel. True strength grows when they’re invited into decisions, learning that their voice matters.
This is also how kids develop autonomy: They practice independence while staying connected to your guidance.
What to do: Research shows that giving kids a sense of control builds motivation and reduces power struggles. Let your child choose between two chores or help decide what’s for dinner. Small choices build confidence.
6. Making kids feel responsible for your emotions
Some parents unknowingly expect kids to regulate their stress by comforting them. This emotional role reversal is damaging.
What to do: Instead of saying, “You’re making me sad,” try: “I’m feeling overwhelmed. I need a moment to calm down.” It’s not your child’s job to manage your nervous system.
7. Glorifying burnout
Children raised to glorify productivity grow into burned-out adults. Show them that strength includes knowing when to pause, recharge, and value themselves beyond constant output.
When you demonstrate rest, you’re teaching body awareness: how to recognize stress signals and respond before burnout.
What to do: Say, “I’m going to rest for 20 minutes. Taking care of myself helps me feel better.”
Mental strength is all about helping kids face hard things, feel their feelings, take ownership, and rest — while knowing they’re deeply loved for who they are.
Reem Raouda is a leading voice in conscious parenting and the creator of FOUNDATIONS, a step-by-step guide that helps parents heal and become emotionally safe. She is widely recognized for her expertise in children’s emotional safety and for redefining what it means to raise emotionally healthy kids. Connect with her on Instagram.
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Cardiologist: 9 American foods you ‘couldn’t pay me to eat’—after 20 years of treating heart attacks
After two decades treating heart disease, clogged arteries, and metabolic dysfunction, I began to notice a pattern. Many of my patients thought they were doing everything right — like exercising regularly and managing stress — yet they still ended up in my office with serious cardiovascular issues.
The common thread? Everyday food choices.
Some of the most harmful foods in the American diet don’t come with warning labels. Instead, they’re marketed as “heart smart,” “plant-based,” or “low-fat.” But behind the buzzwords are ingredients that fuel inflammation, spike blood sugar, and quietly damage your arteries over time.
As a cardiologist, there are nine American foods you couldn’t pay me to eat — not because I’m extreme, but because I’ve seen firsthand what they do to the human heart.
1. Sugary breakfast cereals
They look harmless. They’re marketed with smiling cartoon mascots and sometimes even carry health claims. But most are essentially desserts in disguise. You might as well eat a glazed donut for breakfast!
That sugar spike doesn’t just leave you groggy by mid-morning. It triggers a surge in insulin, putting your metabolism into overdrive and, over time, wearing down your vascular system. I’ve seen patients develop insulin resistance, chronic fatigue, and cardiovascular complications — all linked to this morning ritual.
Eat this instead: Steel-cut oats with berries and cinnamon. Real fiber, antioxidants, and stable energy.
2. Processed deli meats
They’re portable and convenient, but this sandwich staple comes with a dark side. Deli meats are often preserved with nitrates and nitrites, which can convert into carcinogenic compounds inside the body.
These substances don’t just raise your cancer risk — they also elevate blood pressure and promote long-term arterial damage. If your “meat” has a shelf life longer than your dog, your arteries are paying the price.
Eat this instead: Roast your own turkey or chicken breast and slice it fresh.
3. Soda and energy drinks
These beverages deliver a double blow to your system: spiking blood sugar, overworking your adrenal glands, and flooding your body with inflammatory compounds.
And the “diet” versions? Often worse. Artificial sweeteners can disrupt your gut microbiome, which plays a huge role in both metabolism and heart health. Not only do they age you faster, but they can make you feel worse while doing it.
Eat this instead: Sparkling water with lemon or iced herbal tea.
4. Deep-fried fast foods (and carnival snacks)
Yes, they’re delicious. But deep-fried foods like corn dogs, funnel cake, and French fries are cooked in industrial seed oils that oxidize at high temperatures, forming potentially toxic byproducts.
Those byproducts embed in your artery walls, promote plaque buildup, and raise your risk of hypertension, stroke, and heart attacks. I tell patients to imagine each fried bite as sandpaper on your arteries. It’s not an exaggeration.
Eat this instead: Oven-baked options using olive or avocado oil.
5. White bread and refined carbs
When you strip a grain of its fiber, minerals, and nutrients, you’re left with a food that acts like sugar in the body. That includes white bread, crackers, and even many “multi-grain” imposters.
They break down quickly, spiking glucose, leading to crashes, fat storage, and insulin resistance. Over time, that means higher risk of type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease.
Eat this instead: 100% whole grain or sprouted grain bread.
6. Margarine and fake butter spreads
Once marketed as a heart-healthy butter alternative, margarine turned out to be one of the biggest nutrition myths of the last century. Many versions still contain trans fats, which are chemically engineered to extend shelf life, but do real damage to your body.
Trans fats raise LDL (bad) cholesterol, lower HDL (good) cholesterol, and cause arterial stiffness. Even in small doses, they harm the endothelial lining of your blood vessels.
Eat this instead: Grass-fed butter or extra-virgin olive oil.
7. Highly processed plant-based ‘meats’
“Plant-based” doesn’t always mean heart-healthy. Many meat substitutes are ultra-processed, filled with sodium, inflammatory oils, and synthetic additives like methylcellulose and soy protein isolate.
Just because something doesn’t contain meat doesn’t mean it’s good for you. If it takes a chemistry degree to decode the label, it probably doesn’t belong in your body.
Eat this instead: Lentils, beans, or minimally processed tofu.
8. Canned soups with high sodium
A single cup of canned soup can contain 80% to 100% of your daily sodium limit. Excess sodium raises blood pressure, strains the kidneys, and increases the risk of heart failure.
If you wouldn’t drink a glass of seawater, think twice before sipping that overly salty soup.
Eat this instead: Homemade soup with fresh vegetables, herbs, and sea salt to taste.
9. Flavored coffee creamers
That morning splash of creamer is often a chemical cocktail: hydrogenated oils, artificial flavors, and added sugars. It may seem small, but day after day, it adds up — promoting inflammation and arterial plaque before you’ve even left the house.
Eat this instead: Unsweetened almond or oat milk with cinnamon or vanilla extract.
I’ll never touch any of these foods, but you don’t need to overhaul your entire diet overnight. Small swaps add up, and your bloodwork will prove it. And of course, consult with your healthcare provider before making any drastic changes.
Dr. Sanjay Bhojraj, MD, is a board-certified interventional cardiologist and certified functional medicine doctor. A pioneer at the intersection of precision cardiology and lifestyle medicine, he is the founder of Well12, a wellness program helping individuals reverse chronic disease through nutrition, breathwork, and genomic insights. Dr. Bhojraj is also a national educator for the Institute for Functional Medicine. Follow him on Instagram.
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33-year-old was rejected from a baseball internship, now she’s the team’s general manager: ‘I never pictured I could have a career in baseball’
Brooke Cooper was 12 years old when she thought her career in baseball was over.
She had aged out of her local Little League offerings and there were no more opportunities for girls to play the sport, Cooper tells CNBC Make It. She tried playing softball next, which is traditionally seen as the female counterpart to baseball, but says she “didn’t have the same passion.”
“I loved playing baseball,” Cooper, now 33, says. “I never pictured I could have a career in baseball.”
In March 2024, Cooper became the general manager of the Worcester Red Sox, a Triple-A minor league affiliate of the Boston Red Sox, in Worcester, Massachusetts. She is the first female general manager in Boston Red Sox franchise history.
However, Cooper says she was rejected the first time she applied for an internship with the team, then known as the Pawtucket Red Sox. That summer, the then 20-year-old waited tables and volunteered at a sports marketing firm instead, she says.
From intern to general manager
Two years later, she says she applied for the merchandising internship again, this time as an MBA student at Providence College, and got the job.
“The first time, I tried to play it cool, which sounds so ridiculous because I was 20 years old and had no idea what I was doing,” she says. “That second time, I made it so clear how much I wanted it, how hard I would work, and I’m sure I probably had a better sense of maturity a couple of years later.”
As an intern, Cooper says she balanced business school classes with vacuuming and managing merchandise inventory in the team store.
“I was running my own small business within the larger business,” and while the gig only paid her minimum wage, she says the experience itself was “professionally fulfilling.”
Soon, she began climbing the ranks, first as an assistant to the director of merchandising, and then a manager of merchandising. As the team’s director of marketing and merchandising, she helped temporarily rebrand the Pawtucket Red Sox to the Hot Wieners in 2018. In 2021 she was promoted to the vice president of marketing, and the year after she became the team’s assistant general manager.
Dealing with imposter syndrome
When Cooper started with the Worcester Red Sox in 2015, she says she didn’t think it was possible to have a career in professional baseball. There was only one other woman working for the team’s front office, and Cooper says her dream was to open a community center similar to a YMCA or Boys and Girls Club anyways.
“I say I don’t have imposter syndrome, and then when I describe it, it’s the definition of imposter syndrome,” Cooper says.
Looking back, she says having that imposter syndrome ended up working to her benefit because it allowed her to speak up and share her candid thoughts with managers and in meetings without being afraid of losing the job.
‘I’m really, really happy to be part of an organization where this can be normalized’
Cooper never felt singled out for being a woman either, she says. Her managers and team leadership have treated every promotion as a matter of fact, recognizing her as the best person for the job, she says. Becoming the Red Sox franchise’s first female general manager wasn’t “a big deal” in her organization until it was publicly announced, Cooper says.
Of the 120 Minor League Baseball teams that serve as developmental programs for 30 Major League Baseball teams, 14 were led by female general managers in the 2025 season, according to the league. In 2020, Kim Ng was became the first and only female general manager to lead a Major League Baseball team. Ng left her role with the Miami Marlins in 2023.
“I’m really, really happy to be part of an organization where this can be normalized,” Cooper says of the Worcester Red Sox. “I find working in Minor League Baseball professionally challenging in a good way, and also very personally fulfilling … I am kind of living out my dream.”
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‘Micro-shifting,’ coffee badging: Bosses are still mandating RTO—workers are going, but on their own terms
Companies like Starbucks, Paramount and Microsoft are among the latest to issue new return-to-office requirements, but mass RTO has been a years-long push across Corporate America. Getting workers back in hasn’t been so easy.
People are spending about 25% of their days working from home, and that share hasn’t budged since spring 2023, says Nick Bloom, a Stanford professor and leading researcher on remote work trends, and based on a recurring survey of 10,000 Americans from his team at WFH Research.
Work-from-home rates have persisted, Bloom tells CNBC Make It, even as the labor market sours, people cling to their jobs and leverage swings back in the direction of CEOs making RTO calls.
What gives?
Passive resistance
Bloom points to a few factors. First is a “growing compliance gap.”
“Firms are announcing RTOs,” he says. “It just does not look like employees are following through on the ground.”
He thinks of it as passive resistance: CEOs make a big announcement, but the middle managers tasked with enforcing the rule don’t want to follow it themselves, much less make direct reports do so.
Managers are typically assessed on the performance of their team, and if they’re performing well enough, they’re unlikely to see the benefit of an increased attendance rule, Bloom says. Senior leaders may overlook any rule-bending too.
Many businesses are also shrinking their layers of middle management. This can lead to burnout among the bosses who remain, which in turn can result in less enforcement of these RTO mandates.
Back in the office, but on workers’ terms
Then, there’s the issue of tracking whether people are in for the actual number of days required by company policy.
Take a company that has a four-day office policy, but most people only go in for three. It can be hard to track exactly why someone didn’t meet the attendance requirement for a given week. They could be out taking client meetings, at a conference, at an appointment, taking a sick day or just on vacation, Bloom says.
One Fortune 100 company Bloom spoke with has a three-day attendance policy, but over an eight-week rolling average, they only flag if someone is in fewer than one-and-a-half days per week. The company’s HR chief chalked up the missing in-office time to people being out on business travel, Bloom says.
Other workers are showing up for the required number of days, but experimenting with how long they actually have to be there. Some 43% of hybrid workers partake in coffee badging, or going to the office for a few hours just to show their faces, and 12% want to give it a try, according to Owl Labs’ recent survey of 2,000 full-time workers. Among those who’ve been caught, more than half say their employer didn’t mind the practice.
Coffee badging is down from 2023 levels, but consistent with last year.
The majority of hybrid workers go into the office three to four days a week, which is up from last year, says Frank Weishaupt, CEO of Owl Labs. At the same time, they’re finding ways to maintain flexibility by coffee badging, scheduling personal appointments during the day, or trying what he calls “micro-shifting” —working in short, non-linear blocks not bound by a 9-to-5 and instead based on personal energy, responsibilities or productivity patterns.
As far as flexibility goes, “they’re finding it wherever they can,” Weishaupt says.
Quitting RTO companies for more flexibility
Workers quit when they don’t get the flexibility they want, or see it being clawed back by their employers, experts say. That could be by design.
“RTO is being used as a bit of a cheap way to reduce headcount” by avoiding layoffs and paying out severance, Bloom says. Quitters could be scooped up by younger, smaller firms that offer flexibility as a perk when they can’t compete with big-company salaries. That could be another reason why work-from-home rates have, on the whole, remained the same.
The problem with using RTO to shrink headcount is “you don’t get to choose who leaves,” Bloom says.
Previous research from the University of Pittsburgh found that women, senior and skilled employees were most likely to leave companies that enacted new RTO policies.
Businesses say offering remote and hybrid work improves their ability to hire, especially for hard-to-fill roles or in so-called “talent deserts” in certain areas of the country, says ZipRecruiter economist Nicole Bachaud.
Around 20% of employers say they’re looking to hire fully remote workers this year, and a similar share are on the hunt to hire candidates in a hybrid role, according to ZipRecruiter data.
“There is still demand for these types of roles within companies,” Bachaud says, “but a smaller share than we’ve seen in the past, for sure.”
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37-year-old quit her $390,000 Google job with nothing lined up: ‘I didn’t need to keep on climbing’
Florence Poirel was earning about $390,000 a year in Zurich, Switzerland, as a senior program manager at Google when she decided to walk away in 2024.
The now-37-year-old wasn’t unhappy with her job. “By the time I left Google, I was absolutely not in a position of burnout,” she tells CNBC Make It. “The team was pleasant. The work was pleasant enough as well.”
What pushed her instead was clarity. “I realized how much quality time with the people I love is the most important,” she says.
That included her partner, Jan, a fellow Googler who is 17 years her senior. After meeting him in 2017, she realized she had to rethink traditional retirement. “I could not just wait for retirement to enjoy my time with him because he would be much older at that time,” she says.
Poirel had always been a diligent saver, but the realization inspired her to start following the FIRE movement — short for “financial independence, retire early” — which emphasizes saving and investing aggressively to leave the workforce early.
“That’s when it hit me that I didn’t need to keep on climbing that ladder. I had reached the point when it was just enough — and I was happy and free to do something else,” she says.
By January 2024, she had saved up about $1.5 million, and in April of that year, she and Jan quit their jobs. Poirel calls her break a “mini-retirement” — setting aside enough cash to cover 18 months — although she has no firm plans for when, or if, she’ll return to full-time work.
“I’m not particularly antsy about going back to employment,” she says. “I thought that would be by now, but I really enjoy the daily life that we’ve created in this mini retirement.”
Following her own path
Poirel’s willingness to make big changes isn’t new. In 2013, she was in a marketing job in Belgium she didn’t like. On the way home after a long week, she told a colleague she felt unfulfilled, and he replied with the French phrase “qui ne tente rien n’a rien” — he who risks nothing has nothing.
The words stayed with her throughout that weekend. Poirel says she realized she needed the “courage to do something different” to be happy.
The following Monday, she quit. She decided to move to Dublin, Ireland — a tech hub in Europe — with no job and no connections. Soon after arriving, she landed a contract role at Google earning about $60,000, working in content safety and moderation, which began her career at the company.
Poirel’s risk paid off. She spent more than a decade at Google, rising steadily through new teams and promotions. In 2017, she transferred from Dublin to Zurich, where she moved into project management and eventually senior leadership roles, raising her salary to $390,000 by 2024.
Choosing a ‘mini-retirement’
Once Poirel had reached her goal of $1.5 million in savings in January 2024, it was just a matter of deciding when to make the leap. For someone who describes herself as “risk-averse” when it comes to money, it wasn’t easy to walk away from her high-paying job.
“Saying no to this kind of income can be daunting, for sure,” Poirel says.
But she hasn’t looked back. In mini-retirement, she spends her days swimming in Lake Zurich, providing career coaching for women and traveling abroad with Jan. “I thought I would get bored very easily. But now, it’s been a year and a half and I still haven’t [had] a time of boredom,” she says.
While she might return to work, it will be on her terms, whether that’s working part-time or only doing what she finds fulfilling. Either way, she feels fortunate that she saved enough money to make that choice.
“Life is too short and life is beautiful and it’s too sad to spend most of that time spending it at work when we can spend it in beautiful nature with friends, family, loved ones, and doing things that make us truly happy,” she says.
All amounts are in U.S. dollars, converted from Swiss francs at the OANDA exchange rate of 1 CHF to 1.22 USD on May 31, 2025.
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