Ellen and Edward earn $28,000 a month, or an annual income of around $336,000 a year — more than triple their home state of Hawaii’s median household income.

But their high income doesn’t prevent the couple from having constant financial disagreements, they told money expert, author and self-made millionaire Ramit Sethi on a recent episode of his Money for Couples podcast. Their last names were not used.

Edward is terrified of ever returning to a poor financial situation similar to what he grew up in, while Ellen wants the freedom to reasonably spend their money without asking permission, they said.

“We are pretty financially well-off, and my brain does not compute that,” Edward said on the podcast. “Everything for me is a fire. A blown tire that’s $200, $300 is a huge deal for me.”

It’s not just emergencies, either. Edward oversees the all of couple’s finances, and Ellen said she has to get his approval to buy virtually anything, even everyday beauty products or essentials like her prenatal vitamins.

“I feel like every time I ask for anything … I have to over-explain why I need it for him to say yes,” Ellen said. “That constant, ‘let me ask,’ ‘let’s see what he says,’ ‘let me go in detail about why I need it,’ is not a good feeling.”

Here’s why their disagreements keep happening and Sethi’s advice for how to manage money together better.

Ellen and Edward aren’t bad partners, Sethi said. “More likely, it’s [a] bad structure” for how they manage their money.

The couple understands some basics of setting up a financial system that works for both of them, Sethi said, like the idea that they should have money dedicated to discretionary spending. However, Edward has been including items like prenatal vitamins in Ellen’s discretionary spending, which Sethi strongly disagreed with.

“You don’t just need a better budget. In fact, you probably don’t even need a budget at all,” Sethi said. “You need a better system that is built together.”

For both partners to start feeling better about money and hopefully have fewer disagreements going forward, Sethi offered three pieces of advice — and anyone in a similar situation can follow them.

1. Encourage your partner to engage with your finances 

In Edward and Ellen’s situation, Edward handles all of the money, while Ellen is hands off. But as spouses and co-parents, both parties need to be treated as equals, Sethi said.

Sethi suggests the partner who has more experience with managing the household budget — Edward, in this case — encourage the other to get involved. He recommends telling yourself from “day one,” “I am not going to do this on my own. I want my partner to become good with money.”

2. Talk about money regularly

In the past, Ellen has avoided money conversations because she felt like her needs were dismissed and she didn’t understand where Edward was coming from when he worried about their finances. 

Having regular money conversations could help them clear up miscommunications going forward and allow both partners to feel empowered to make decisions on how the family spends their money, Sethi said. 

3. Find a structure that works for both partners

Ellen and Edward’s current system, in which Edward approves all of the couple’s spending, isn’t working for both of them. Sethi suggested they adopt a new structure together. 

One idea: They could each have “no-questions-asked money” along with a joint account and work together to decide how much goes in each, Sethi said.

Additionally, they should create some general rules for money in their relationship, such as a no-debt policy or a limit on how long to spend flipping a house, which has been a point of contention in the past.

The couple needs to make a more concerted effort to work together and create a shared vision for their money or else they’ll “forever feel resentful, behind, insecure, unworthy, misaligned, sometimes even in danger around your finances,” Sethi said. 

“Money is important,” he added. “My wish for you is that you give it the attention and respect that it deserves.”

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An October report from ConsumerAffairs compared all 50 U.S. states to determine its ranking of the best states to raise a family.

The states were analyzed across five weighted categories worth a total of 100 points:

1. Affordability (30 points)
2. Safety (25 points)
3. Education (20 points)
4. Health care (15 points)
5. Quality of life (10 points)

ConsumerAffairs did not include Washington, D.C. in this year’s ranking.

The report found that the best states to raise a family are mainly in the Northeast.

Jailyn Rodriguez, lead researcher at Consumer Affairs, tells CNBC Make It that the concentration of top states in the Northeast was not surprising and continues last year’s trend.

“We know that states in the Northeast generally come with a higher cost of living,” she says. “Overall, the states did not perform well when it comes to affordability.”

What these states lack in affordability, they do make up for in other areas, Rodriguez notes.

“Families in the Northeast are going to benefit from lower crime rates. They are going to benefit from stronger access to quality education, health care and a higher quality of life.”

A 2023 study by LendingTree estimated that the average annual cost of raising a child has climbed to $21,681, a 19% increase from 2016, bringing the total estimated cost per child to $389,000 over 18 years.

“At the end of the day, you can’t just focus on where it’s going to be most affordable,” Rodriguez says. “There are so many factors that you need to consider that will directly shape a child’s life.”

The Granite State ranked as the best to raise a family, with a total score of 68.98. New Hampshire climbed from No. 4 in 2024, overtaking Pennsylvania, Maine, and Vermont to claim the No. 1 spot this year.

New Hampshire ranked No. 1 in safety and No. 3 in quality of life, according to the report. The state came in at No. 34 in the affordability category and no. 22 in education.

Rodriguez says that New Hampshire’s high safety score helped it win the top spot on the overall ranking. The state also has some of the best air quality in the country, access to parks and one of the strongest public library systems per capita.

“Those are all things that ultimately help shape a healthy childhood outside of school,” she says.

Though the ConsumerAffairs report names New Hampshire as the best state to raise a family, a study by the New Hampshire Fiscal Policy Institute found that over the past 10 years, the state’s cost of living has outpaced what most families earn.

The typical New Hampshire household now earns nearly $100,000 a year, yet a family of four with this income still falls about $2,000 short of covering basic needs annually, the report states.

According to the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Living Wage Calculator, the cost of basic living expenses in New Hampshire for a family with two working adults and two children is comparable to the most expensive states like Massachusetts, Vermont, California, Connecticut, New York, Colorado, Oregon, and Alaska, at $129,768 annually.

1. New Hampshire
2. Maine
3. Wisconsin
4. Vermont
5. New York
6. Connecticut
7. Wyoming
8. Virginia
9. Massachusetts
10. Pennsylvania

Maine ranked as the No. 2 best state to raise a family for the second year in a row. It scored 66.85 and ranked No. 1 in the quality of life category and No. 2 for safety.

The state ranked No. 35 for affordability, No. 19 in education and No. 13 in health care. The report found that it had the lowest rate of children in poverty and the lowest violent crime rate. Maine also offers a state child tax credit.

Similar to New Hampshire, Maine also has some of the cleanest air in the nation and one of the lowest violent crime rates in the country.

“The state is choosing to invest in community resources and prioritizing learning outside of the classroom. For parents who want to find a state where kids can grow up safe and feel supported, Maine is one of the strongest choices for that,” Rodriguez says.

In 2025, the Pine Tree State ranked No. 2 for quality of life on CNBC’s annual top states for business study.

According to the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis, based on U.S. Census Bureau data, the median household income in Maine is currently $90,730.

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In January, U.S. Census data showed that Americans were flocking to the Sun Belt states and according to a new report from moveBuddha that trend is still going strong.

The relocation tech company used proprietary data collected from 2020 through October 1, 2025, to analyze move trends. moveBuddha calculated the rates using an in-to-out ratio equation, based on the number of queries to move in divided by the number of queries to move out, using the company’s moving cost calculator.

The report found that four of the top 10 states people are looking to move to most are located in the South.

“The pattern is unmistakable: Americans are trading square footage for quality of life, megacities for mid-markets, and high costs for breathing room,” the report states.

Ryan Carrigan, founder of moveBuddha, tells CNBC Make It that the report confirms this trend that’s been established for a while: People are moving South.

“It’s just a very popular place to move. I think there’s a lot of affordability and housing availability. Those things are pretty big factors in terms of people moving,” he says.

Carrigan also said the report shows that some of the covid-19 trends are starting to reverse, as evidenced by California not seeing as high a rate of people moving out. Despite that, California remains an exit state with one of the lowest in-to-out ratios in the country.

“At some point, it had to reverse, but you don’t really see anything improving in California. They still have a lot of challenges, including cost of living, unemployment, and natural disaster challenges too. Everyone who was going to leave has left, but they are also benefiting from the AI boom, particularly in Northern California right now,” he adds.

In-to-out-ratio: 1.97

South Carolina is the most popular state to move to for the sixth year in a row. Movers have shown more than double the interest in moves in than out.

According to the report, one big reason for that trend is that the state still offers affordability and access to nature, which boosts job growth. South Carolina was one of the five states with the highest net volume of move-related searches, at 13.7%.

Carrigan says another reason South Carolina came in at the top of the list is that it’s a major retiree state. According to a 2021 Population Reference Bureau report, 18.7% of South Carolina’s population is age 65 and over.

“Younger people aren’t really moving and moving has been generally slower since covid-19,” he says. “South Carolina benefits from being a retiree state, which is still a good portion of people moving, and it’s also the story that there’s still affordability and housing availability.”

South Carolina is the 27th-cheapest state to live in, according to data from the Missouri Economic Research and Information Center gathered in 2024. The cost of living in South Carolina is 9% lower than the national average, according to RentCafe. Housing is 18% lower than the national average but utilities are 10% higher.

The average South Carolina home value is $302,294, down 0.8% over the past year, according to Zillow.

1. South Carolina
2. North Carolina
3. Idaho
4. Alaska
5. Tennessee
6. Maine
7. Delaware
8. South Dakota
9. Alabama
10. Arkansas

North Carolina ranked second among the most popular states to move to, according to moveBuddha. The state had a 1.61 in-to-out ratio. North Carolina also had the highest volume of net searches in 2025 for people moving into the state from other states.

Carrigan says similar to South Carolina, North Carolina ranked highly because of the number of retirees continuing to move there. Florida was a popular state to move to during the covid-19 pandemic, but North Carolina remains affordable while Florida has not, he says.

“North Carolina is still a strong candidate to move to and it has a beautiful coast too,” he adds.

North Carolina ranked as the No. 1 state for business in CNBC’s annual study. This is the third time it’s been at the top in the last four years. It was No. 1 in 2022 and 2023 and then No. 2 in 2021 and 2024.

The study states North Carolina’s biggest strengths are in the categories of economy, workforce and business friendliness. The state’s gross domestic product grew by a healthy 3.7% last year, the fifth-strongest in the country. The state added more than 60,000 jobs last year.

The cost of living in North Carolina is the same as the national average. Housing is 14% lower than the national average, while utilities are 2% lower, according to RentCafe.

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Money isn’t everything. As Sahil Bloom discovered, the high-paying career, the job title, the house, and the car — all the things he thought he needed to be successful — didn’t make him happy. 

“I had spent years with my head down, embracing the long hours, believing that the idyllic land of success was well within reach. At every step along the way, I told myself that I was just one bonus, one promotion, or one fancy bottle of wine away from arriving in that land,” Bloom writes in his book “The 5 Types of Wealth: A Transformative Guide to Design Your Dream Life.” 

“Then, one day, I realized I had achieved all of it, and all I could think of was: Is this it?”

Not long after he had this unsettling realization, he decided to ask a dozen 80- and 90-year-olds a few questions, including: What advice would you give your younger self? What do you regret? What’s brought you lasting joy and fulfillment? 

“No one mentioned money,” Bloom writes. “Your wealthy life may be enabled by money, but in the end, it will defined by everything else.” Namely, “time, people, purpose, health.”

Drawing on the wisdom of elders, his own experiences, scientific research, history, and successful people, Bloom’s debut book redefines wealth and helps readers design a “dream life” that truly fits them. (His upcoming “The 5 Types of Wealth Planner,” out in November, translates those ideas into practice.)

CNBC Make It chose “The 5 Types of Wealth” as our October book club pick because we know our readers are striving to be happier, smarter, and more successful — whatever that looks like to each one of them.  

If you haven’t read Bloom’s book, or just want a refresher, here are some key takeaways ahead of Wednesday’s discussion in our private LinkedIn group.

Bloom breaks his book down into sections about:

1. Time wealth: Another catalyst for Bloom was the night a friend told him, “You’re going to see your parents 15 more times before they die,” given the distance between them and frequency of visits. Becoming aware of the limited time you have is the first step in “investing in your time wealth.” Next is directing “your attention to the things that truly matter (and ignoring the rest),” Bloom writes. And finally, “it is achieving control over your time — how you spend it, where you spend it, and whom you spend it with.”
2. Social wealth: One of the best decisions Bloom says he and his wife made was to move across the country to be near their families and closest friends. “Proximity to people you love is worth more than any job will ever pay you.” Social wealth is about that small circle of your most meaningful bonds, the larger circles of community you feel a part of, and “the lasting respect, admiration, and trust of your peers that you receive on the basis of earned, not acquired, status symbols.” 
3. Mental wealth: This type of wealth is all about embracing the curiosity that comes naturally to children. “It is through curiosity that you go on the journey to uncover and live by your purpose, unlock new insights and lifelong growth, and seek out the space necessary to think, reset, wrestle with questions, and recharge,” Bloom writes. It’s about finding what creates meaning for you, and knowing that your purpose doesn’t necessarily have to be tied to your career. 
4. Physical wealth: The 80-year-old father of a friend told Bloom: “Treat your body like a house you have to live in for another 70 years.” Physical wealth is about investing in your body and health through “regular movement, proper nutrition, and thoughtful recovery,” Bloom writes. “If you take care of it today, it will take care of you for years to come.”
5. Financial wealth: Money isn’t everything, but it is something. Bloom covers a few basics about how to generate income, manage expenses, and invest for the long term. Most importantly, however, he urges readers to stop chasing “more” and to start pursuing “enough.” He quotes Mark Twain: “It isn’t what a man has that constitutes wealth. No, it is to be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth.”

We’re all familiar with setting goals. But Bloom encourages readers to set both goals and anti-goals, “the things we don’t want to happen on our journey to achieve our goals.”

“For example, if your long-term goal is to become a CEO, your anti-goals might be spending more than 10 days away from your family per month, allowing your health to suffer from stress and travel, and loosening your moral standards to achieve profit targets,” Bloom writes. “You want to achieve your goal, but not if it means having these three negative outcomes.”

For every goal you set, consider the worst possible outcomes you want to avoid as you pursue it. 

Ultimately, “The 5 Types of Wealth” is about measuring your life and making decisions based not just on financial wealth, but all the types of wealth. “You have it within you to go and craft the priorities you truly care about, and then go and take action to build your life around those things,” Bloom says. 

For him, it was worth it. “I’m sure I gave up money by leaving the track I was on, but as far as I’m concerned, I’m the wealthiest man on the face of the earth,” he writes. “Now it’s time for you to do the same” — but in your own way. 

Ready to dive in? Start reading, request to join our LinkedIn group, and come chat with us and Bloom on Wednesday, October 29, at 10 a.m. ET, at our next CNBC Make It Book Club discussion. 

Any questions for the author? Drop them in the comments of this LinkedIn post (you’ll need to join our private group first, which you can do here). Or email them to us in advance at askmakeit@cnbc.com, using the subject line “Question for Sahil Bloom.”

Have suggestions for future picks? Send them to us at askmakeit@cnbc.com, using the subject line “Make It book club suggestion.”

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This story is part of CNBC Make It’s Millennial Money series, which details how people around the world earn, spend and save their money.

Sebastian Marquez was in high school when he took his now wife out on their first date to a local junior league hockey game.

After the date, he asked if she wanted to stop by his house. She said sure, expecting a family home — not a small, rundown house, gutted and “in absolute shambles,” Sebastian, now 28, tells CNBC Make It.

“I thought I was going to get murdered in the basement,” his wife Julia, 26, says.

The house — the second smallest in his town of Hanover, Ontario — was an investment property he had purchased with help from his mom. At 16, Sebastian was balancing school with stocking shelves at Walmart, working on a chicken farm and remodeling the home with the goal of selling it for a profit, he says.

Today, the couple has built a net worth of just over $1 million — largely from real estate and cryptocurrency investments, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It. All figures have been converted from CAD to USD.

Neither Sebastian nor Julia have ever held jobs that have individually paid over six figures, Sebastian says. 

This year, Sebastian expects to earn about $57,500 from his day job as a business advisor at a local bank, and Julia, a nurse, will bring home around $64,500. The couple also expects to make $14,500 off of a rental property they own, bringing their total projected household income for 2025 to approximately $136,500.

Originally, Sebastian didn’t really want to buy a house at 16. He had around $8,000 saved from working various minimum wage jobs, and his heart was set on buying himself his first car, he says.

When his mom suggested he would be better off spending that money on flipping a rundown house, he was initially confused. Then he did some research and realized flipping a home was probably going to be a better investment, he says.

In 2013, Sebastian says his mom used all his savings and covered the remainder to make a $9,800 down payment on a $48,800 home. His mom also contributed another $14,000 toward the remodel, he says.

Other than hiring specialists for plumbing and electrical work, Sebastian says he remodeled the house entirely on his own, using YouTube to teach himself tasks like putting in flooring and installing a toilet.

Six months later, the pair sold the home for $82,200, and from there, Sebastian says he caught the house flipping bug.

After paying his mom back for her expenses, he used the profit from his first home to purchase and flip another. From 2013 to 2022, Sebastian says he flipped a total of nine properties, totaling an estimated $343,700 in profit, all while working at Walmart and attending college.

Today, the couple still owns two properties: his current home — the eleventh home he’s bought — and a rental property with two units.

In 2022, Sebastian stopped flipping houses after accepting an offer from Walmart to manage a larger store in London, Ontario, which required him to move about two hours south of his hometown to Strathroy, Ontario, he says.

He left his role as an assistant store manager in March, after nearly 13 years at Walmart, for a more stable 9-to-5 job advising small businesses. When he started at Walmart, he says he was earning $7.62 an hour. By last year, his salary had grown to $43,000.

“Walmart has seen every side of me from when I was a young teen,” Sebastian says, so much so that he even jokes with his wife that “Walmart always came first.”

Despite his modest income, Sebastian, who has always had a “geekish, nerdish passion” for spreadsheets, says he was able grow his savings through frugal, diligent budgeting and the houses he flipped in his early 20s.

He has kept a budget spreadsheet since 2018. He has a spreadsheet to track his net worth, one for how much he spends on fuel and one that tracks his health. He even remembers creating a spreadsheet to track how much the couple spent on dates before they were married — just to make sure everything was equitable, he says.

“It’s just fun for me,” Sebastian says. “Most of the time, my wife will find me on the couch, on my laptop, fidgeting around with spreadsheets.”

Just under half of Sebastian and Julia’s total net worth comes from their crypto investments, worth about $400,000 as of Sept. 30. The rest comes from investment accounts, their properties and two cars the couple own.

In 2019, Sebastian was looking to diversify his assets, so he invested around $25,000 in bitcoin and ethereum — about 10% of his net worth at the time — on yet another one of his mom’s suggestions. Because cryptocurrencies are highly volatile, that was the amount he was comfortable risking and willing to hold onto for the long term, he says.

“It was a gamble that we had taken at the time, and it’s definitely paid off, fortunately,” Sebastian says.

Between May 2019, when Sebastian says he made his first investments, and the end of September 2025, bitcoin’s value in Canadian dollars has grown by around 2,000% and ethereum’s has grown by around 2,500%.

In September, Sebastian and Julia brought in a total of $9,500 — $7,900 from their day jobs and $1,400 in rental income. They also receive $180 a month from the Canadian government to help cover expenses for their 6-month-old daughter, most of which they invest in an account set aside for her future.

Sebastian and Julia combined their finances in 2020 before getting married in 2022, and they sit down about once a month to talk through their budget and track their net worth, Sebastian says. He says the couple currently puts 15% of their income into index funds.

“At the end of the day, we’re working on the same goal,” Sebastian says. “We’re very similar minded when it comes to spending money.”

Here’s a look at how Sebastian and Julia spent their money in September 2025:

• Annual insurance payments: $4,279 for their rental property and primary home
• Housing and utilities: $2,276 on their mortgage, phone, internet, water and other utilities
• Savings and investments: $1,478 toward various savings and investment accounts
• Rental unit expenses: $928 for the mortgage, landscaping and electricity
• Discretionary: $875 on personal care, recreation, entertainment, toys for their daughter and supplies for their dog
• Food: $772 from groceries and eating out
• Transportation: $420 on gas, car repairs and a speeding ticket
• Subscriptions and memberships: $130 on nine subscriptions including SleepWatch Premium, Netflix, iCloud and Google Nest for home security cameras
• Life insurance: $18 monthly payment

The couple’s September spending was higher than average largely due to two insurance payments he prefers to pay annually, Sebastian says. In a typical month, Sebastian says his family spends closer to $4,300 to $5,700 on personal expenses, while setting some of their income aside to prepare for these large annual payments.

The couple doesn’t have any outstanding debt other than their two mortgages.

Sebastian estimates he could probably afford to retire around 35 due to his early and consistent investments. However, “I don’t really like to think of it as retirement, but more so as financial independence,” he says.

He may jump back into real estate in the “near future,” but for now, he says he’s focused on enjoying time with his family.

“It’d be nice to obviously make more money,” Sebastian says. “However, at the end of the day, I think it has to do with what you do with your money.”

All amounts are in U.S. dollars, converted from Canadian Dollars at the OANDA exchange rate of 1 CAD to 0.71824 USD on Sept. 30, 2025.

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