It’s natural to want to comfort a child when they’re crying. When parents see their kid hurting physically or emotionally, they often want to do anything in their power to stop their heartache. 

As a dual certified child life specialist and therapist, I’ve heard parents and even health care workers telling kids “don’t cry” while wiping away their tears during medical procedures and other difficult moments. 

It comes from a place of wanting to fix the hurt and make it all better. But it can make kids feel like their emotions and tears aren’t okay, especially when they’re in pain or distress. 

Instead, try to validate kids’ feelings and help them feel safe and supported expressing their emotions and tears. Use these five alternatives:

This helps kids know and believe that their experience is real and it’s natural.

Staying with kids through their stress conveys the message that their feelings don’t scare you, that you can handle the difficult moments with them, and that they can rely on you for real-time support, even when it’s hard or uncomfortable. 

You may not always know exactly why a child is crying or understand their reaction to the situation. Validation doesn’t necessarily mean agreement; it means, “I see you and I believe you.” 

One way to validate their experience is to simply reflect back what you’re seeing. Naming their emotion can be helpful for some kids, but for others it can be upsetting if your label doesn’t match what they’re truly feeling. Try naming their behaviors or using a more encompassing term such as “upset.”

If kids hear, “don’t cry,” they might interpret that their response doesn’t match the situation, when in fact, it often does.

We want kids to trust their feelings and to know that their tears make sense for what they’re experiencing, whether it’s pain, fear, or isolation. Sometimes the behaviors will be out of proportion with the situation, but the underlying feelings are never wrong. 

Parents often want their kids to feel happy, but it’s natural to feel a range of emotions including difficult or uncomfortable ones. The goal is not to stop the emotion but to help kids acknowledge and manage it.

Helping kids understand that crying is not bad — and that it’s perfectly natural to feel sad, angry, lonely, or frustrated sometimes — reduces a sense of shame from any negative experiences. 

Lastly, it’s important for kids to understand that crying is a very healthy way to release emotions. Crying is coping and so is coloring, playing, talking, running, listening to music, and breathing. You can help kids try different strategies and find the ones that work best for them. 

Use tears as a chance to meet kids where they’re at and help them work through challenges with confidence and connection. 

Kelsey Mora is a Certified Child Life Specialist and Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor who provides custom support, guidance, and resources to parents, families, and communities impacted by medical conditions, trauma, grief, and everyday life stress. She is a private practice owner, mom of two, the creator and author of The Method Workbooks, and the Chief Clinical Officer of the nonprofit organization Pickles Group.

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Most people assume all fruit is healthy. Not quite. While fruit delivers valuable vitamins, minerals and antioxidants, some varieties pack far more sugar than you think. And even natural sugar can impact gut health, metabolism, and weight when eaten in excess.

That’s why, as a heart surgeon, I always recommend choosing lower-sugar, higher-polyphenol fruits. I also treat fruit more like “nature’s candy”: enjoyed mindfully, not endlessly.

Here are nine low-sugar fruits I consider some of the healthiest choices you can make.

Grapefruit, tangerines and kumquats are naturally low in sugar and high in vitamin C. They also contain flavonoids, which are polyphenols that support a healthy gut microbiome.

Don’t strip away the white pith. It’s one of the most nutrient-dense parts. And kumquats? You eat them whole, peel and all, making them an easy, tangy addition to salads or stir-fries.

Blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries are some of my absolute favorites. They’re low in sugar yet packed with fiber and polyphenols.

Whenever possible, I always recommend eating berries in season. Opt for wild blueberries versus the giant-sized ones you see in grocery stores; they tend to have more antioxidants than the oversized store-bought ones.

Pomegranates are true superstars. They’re loaded with polyphenols like punicalagin, which may support heart and cellular health. Despite their sweet flavor, they’re relatively low in sugar compared to other tropical fruits.

Plus, those crunchy seeds add extra fiber, making them a double win for your gut and metabolism.

Yes, avocado is technically a fruit, and one of the very best. They are almost sugar-free, rich in healthy monounsaturated fats, and packed with potassium and fiber.

In my opinion, avocados are the most perfect fruit you can eat. They keep you full, support your heart, and nourish your gut without causing sugar spikes. I basically eat an avocado every day to glean the maximum health benefits.

Surprised? Olives are fruits, too, and they’re high on my list. They contain virtually no sugar and are rich in healthy fats and powerful polyphenols, especially hydroxytyrosol, one of the best types of polyphenols that feed our gut buddies.

That’s why olives and extra virgin olive oil are staples in my recommended diet for supporting heart, brain, and gut health.

Kiwi (in moderation) earns a spot on my list because it’s lower in sugar than many tropical fruits, and it’s loaded with vitamin C, fiber, and antioxidants.

Here’s a secret: Eat the skin! Yes, the fuzzy part, because that’s where much of the fiber and polyphenols are found. Due to the serotonin-rich content of kiwi, they can also help you sleep better, according to a recent study.

Unripe bananas aren’t sweet — and that’s exactly the point. They contain resistant starch, a prebiotic fiber that feeds beneficial gut bacteria and supports stable blood sugar. Once bananas ripen, that starch converts to sugar, reducing those benefits.

I recommend blending green bananas into smoothies or mixing chopped pieces with yogurt, cinnamon, or low-sugar sweeteners. Green banana flour is another easy option.

Like green bananas, green (unripe) mangoes offer resistant starch, antioxidants, and significantly less sugar than their ripe, orange counterparts. They support digestion and metabolism while providing vitamin C.

Try a green mango salad (a staple in many Thai restaurants) for an easy way to add them to your diet.

Small but nutrient-dense, passionfruit is lower in sugar than many tropical fruits and filled with polyphenols, vitamin A, and fiber. Its crunchy seeds act as natural prebiotics.

I was just in France and Italy, and passionfruit was featured all over the place, from salads to desserts. Look for it if you’re traveling there in July or August or even in the fall months, when it’s in season.

For better long-term health, my approach is simple: Choose fruits that are low in sugar and high in fiber and polyphenols — the compounds that support gut health and more stable energy. But of course, you should always consult with your doctor before making any drastic changes to your diet.

Dr. Steven Gundry, MD, is a former cardiac surgeon, founder of GundryMD, and author of the bestselling books ”The Gut-Brain Paradox″ and ”The Plant Paradox.” For over two decades, his research has focused on the microbiome’s role in chronic disease and longevity. He received his degrees from Yale University and the Medical College of Georgia, and completed his surgical residency at the University of Michigan. Follow him on Instagram @drstevengundry.

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Victoria Beckham, formerly Posh Spice of the Spice Girls, is known for her healthy habits and discipline when it comes to wellness.

Since entering the spotlight three decades ago, the fashion designer’s daily practices for peak health have evolved. While her diet remains consistent—fresh fish, vegetables, nuts, and seeds—her exercise routine and priorities have shifted now that she is in her 50s.

Here are four ways Beckham’s wellness routine has changed from the early 2000′s to now.

1. She’s more flexible with her diet

“I do try to be quite disciplined in the way that I eat,” Beckham said on the BBC Radio program “Gordon Ramsay’s Perfect Christmas Lunch” in 2006 at age 32.

At the time, she prioritized a “really healthy” diet of fish, vegetables and fruit — and still does, she said. But these days Beckham is less rigid.

“I’m flexible with regards to food,” Beckham told Net-a-Porter in 2020. “My treat is a few glasses of red wine, and I also love tequila, and I do eat carbs. I have lots of avocado and really good fats, like salmon.”

2. She added weight training to her workouts

Over a decade ago, Beckham set a new year’s resolution to start going to the gym, she told The Guardian in 2014. “I’ve never stopped. Once I get into something, I do it properly,” she said.

Back then, she would exercise for 90 minutes with a trainer, attend SoulCycle classes and run often, sometimes for eight miles. By 2023, her workout routine looked much different.

“I usually workout every morning prior to beginning my day and recently incorporated strength training into my routine which has been a fun way to switch up my regime,” Beckham said in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar.

The following year, she shared that weight training at 50 made her feel “stronger than I did when I was 20.”

3. Sleep is key for her self care now

In 2013, Beckham’s three sons were still in school and her daughter was just one. Beckham started her days between 6:15 and 6:30 a.m., and would fall asleep sometime between midnight and 1 a.m., she told Harper’s Bazaar that year.

At the time, she was getting between five and six hours of sleep a night. “I like to get as much sleep as I can. But when you’re a mummy, you kind of—well, it would be nice,” Beckham said.

Ten years later, she told the publication that her best advice for self care was developing a healthy sleep routine.

“Creating healthy sleep habits is incredibly important; it’s become a key part of my self-care practice,” she said.

“I’ve been working on incorporating less screen time and more mindfulness into my routine, which means putting my phone away before bedtime.”

4. Wellness shots and green smoothies are a staple in her routine

Beckham also gets plenty of nutrients and vitamins from her daily beverages.

Earlier this year, Vogue covered Beckham’s morning routine based on stories shared to her personal Instagram account. The first thing she consumes every morning is apple cider vinegar, “a couple of tablespoons on an empty tummy,” she said.

Then, she and her husband David Beckham have their green smoothies which include:

• Broccoli
• Spinach
• Cucumber
• Celery
• Avocado
• Apple
• Ginger
• Lemon

After a workout, Beckham has another smoothie with berries, bananas, apples and almonds. She rounds out her morning with a wellness shot of lemon, black pepper, fresh ginger and turmeric. “One shot a day!!” she said.

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As a mom, a researcher, and a writer, I’ve spent more than a decade diving into the science of happiness.

Along the way, I’ve collected what I call “Secrets of Adulthood” — the lessons I’ve learned, with time and experience, about how to create lives that are happier and more meaningful. Many of those insights come back to one of the most important roles we play: raising happy, well-adjusted kids.

So I’m sharing 12 simple and practical parenting rules I always live by.

If you have big plans for the day but your child isn’t cooperating, be willing to adjust your activities to suit your child’s needs in the moment.

Sometimes I have to remind myself, “This is supposed to be fun.” It’s no good visiting the zoo if my daughter is throwing one tantrum after another.

When I interviewed parenting expert Aliza Pressman on my podcast “Happier,” we talked about the fact that by working to stay calm ourselves, we help our children stay calm.

Children don’t want the pressure of feeling that a parent’s mood or outlook depends on their behavior; they want to be able to rely on a parent’s steady support. 

This small action makes a huge difference for kids by boosting the atmosphere of tenderness and attentiveness in a household.

Say hello and goodbye with genuine attention and warmth, and if possible, add a hug or some kind of physical touch. I want my kids (and my husband) to know that I’m just as happy to see them as our dogs are. 

My silly April Fool’s Day pranks and my “holiday breakfasts” for Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day are a big source of happiness. They’re quick, fun, and make a day feel special and memorable.

Wear a bright red shirt with bright orange shorts? Sure. Sleep with your head at the foot of the bed? Fine. Samuel Johnson said, “All severity that does not tend to increase good, or prevent evil, is idle.”

For instance, figure out whether your child is an Obliger, Questioner, Upholder, or a Rebel, and adapt your parenting style to suit that particular child. Read more about my “Four Tendencies” personality framework here. If you want suggestions about how to apply the framework as a parent, look here. If you want your child to practice the piano, for instance, you’d take a very different approach depending on your child’s Tendency.

This includes being willing to laugh at yourself. I remind myself of the Secret of Adulthood that “Mishaps often make the best memories.”

Instead of yelling when I saw that my daughter had scattered every single pot and pan across the kitchen floor, I laughed and reminded myself that one day, this mess would make a very funny memory.

“You’re so resourceful,” “You have such an original imagination,” “I wish I had your ability to remember names and faces.” For children and adults alike, it can be hard to identify our own strengths. Parents can help children recognize areas of excellence in themselves. 

It can be tempting to say, “That person was just joking, it’s not a big deal,” “You won’t have any trouble memorizing the multiplication tables once you focus,” “You’re not afraid of clowns.” We may think that we’re being encouraging, but in fact, when we deny children’s feelings, they feel frustrated and ignored.

It’s more helpful to respond with empathy: “Last time we went to the circus you thought the clowns were very funny, but right now they seem scary,” or “That comment really hurt your feelings,” or “It’s hard work to memorize the multiplication tables.” 

I recently discussed this principle on the podcast “Laughlines with Kim and Penn Holderness.” Sometimes when talking to our kids, we ask questions that prompt them to focus on the negative aspects of their day. “Was that class still boring?” “Was that kid mean to you again?” We want to respond with compassion if a child wants to discuss a tough topic, but we don’t want to encourage them to focus on the worst parts of their experience.

Tasks that are easy for adults can be frustrating and difficult for children. Try to make things easier: Use hooks rather than hangers, store useful items on low shelves, keep a lightweight step stool next to the kitchen counter and in the bathroom.

When your child is driving you bonkers, keep your sense of perspective by recalling that soon, this phase will retreat into the past. It’s easier to stay serene and good-humored when we remember how fleeting the days of childhood were. One of the best ways to make your child happy is to be happy yourself.

Gretchen Rubin is one of today’s most influential observers of happiness and human nature. She’s the author of many books, including the bestseller ”The Happiness Project.” Her books have sold more than 3.5 million copies worldwide, in more than 30 languages. She hosts the award-winning podcast Happier with Gretchen Rubin, where she explores practical solutions for living a happier life. Her new book, ”Secrets of Adulthood,” is out now.

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When I was Chief Talent Officer at Netflix, I gave our receptionist one unusual job: “Tell me who’s a jerk to you.”

It might sound harsh, but it became one of the most powerful tools in our hiring process — and in my own growth as a leader.

Early in my career, I’ll admit, I didn’t always catch the subtle red flags in people. If someone was smart, articulate, and confident in an interview, I’d be impressed. I wanted to believe that great talent would automatically mean great teammate.

But over time, I saw how often the “brilliant but difficult” people created the biggest problems once they joined. That’s when I started looking for new ways to see what was underneath the polish.

In the interview room, everyone’s prepared. They’ve practiced answers, rehearsed their stories, and know what to say. But in the lobby, not everyone behaves well. Sometimes, the mask slips. 

Our receptionists saw everything: who made eye contact, who said hello, who acted impatient, who was kind. After each interview, I’d ask a simple question: “How’d they treat you?” The answer almost always matched the person’s true character.

I still remember one candidate who snapped when their visitor badge took too long to print. Another sighed loudly about the “inconvenience” of parking. Both were smart. Both would have been disastrous hires.

And then there were the quiet ones — the candidates who took a moment to ask about the receptionist’s day, who said thank you on the way out. Those people tended to show up with empathy and self-awareness later, too.

At first, I thought this “reception test” was just about catching rude people. But over time, I realized it was really about something deeper: self-awareness.

The people who failed that test weren’t always mean — they were often unaware. They didn’t realize how their words or energy affected others. They didn’t see the power dynamic they created just by being dismissive. That lack of self-awareness doesn’t stay at the front desk. It follows people into meetings and erodes trust and team culture.

At Netflix, we used to say, “No brilliant jerks.” But I’d go further now: Even “brilliant unaware” people can do damage. Because you can’t fix what you refuse to see.

How someone treats people they don’t think “count” reveals how they’ll treat everyone once the spotlight is off. People who are rude or unaware with receptionists can poison your culture, create unnecessary hierarchies, and drive your best people to leave.  

But self-aware people notice their impact. They adjust. They’re grounded enough to treat everyone — from the CEO to the front desk — with the same respect.

The best leaders I’ve known, the ones who build trust and inspire loyalty, understand their strengths and blind spots. They can sense when they’re coming off too strong or when someone else feels unseen. And when they make a mistake, they own it.

That kind of self-awareness creates safety and honesty inside teams. It’s contagious. And it starts with the smallest acts of respect. I looked for it in every candidate.

Everyone you meet during the hiring process is part of the interview, even the people you don’t think are.

A few things I’ve learned matter more than you realize:

• Be fully present. Don’t scroll through your phone while you wait. Take in the space, smile, breathe.
• Acknowledge everyone. A simple hello or thank you can speak louder than a stellar resume.
• Stay kind when things go wrong. How you handle stress or inconvenience is often the real test.

People remember how you make them feel. Those little interactions reveal who you are when no one’s grading you — and that’s what employers want to know when they’re hiring.

So whether you’re walking into a job interview, leading a meeting, or just ordering coffee, remember this: Who you are in the small moments says everything about who you’ll be in the big ones.

Jessica Neal is the former Chief Talent Officer at Netflix, where she helped shape one of the most talked-about company cultures in the world. Today, she’s an operating partner and investor at TCV, partnering with founders and executive teams to build scalable, high-performing organizations. She is also the co-host of TruthWorks, a podcast that explores leadership, authenticity, and the real work of building teams that thrive. 

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