When I think back on my childhood, my happiest memories aren’t tied to things I owned. They’re about the freedom of growing up in a small Ohio town where everyone knew your name and kids ran in packs.

The neighborhood park was our meeting place. A few bikes tossed in a friend’s front yard signaled the game was on. There were no texts or group chats. But childhood today often looks different. Connection revolves around gaming consoles, phones, sneakers, and the next must-have gadget. If you can’t afford it, you risk being left out.

That contrast led me to talk to my 79-year-old dad, a man who wears thriftiness the way others wear luxury. He genuinely enjoys finding new ways to save money.

He never tried to keep up with anyone. While others rushed to buy the newest car or gadget, he was content with what he had. That mindset made him the quintessential millionaire next door.

He helped shaped my relationship with money. I don’t feel compelled to chase status or possessions. Here are eight lessons from my frugal dad that have stood the test of time — and how they still apply today.

Every dollar you spend is a vote for the life you want to build. When your spending aligns with what matters most, money feels less like sacrifice and more like purpose. For couples especially, shared values turn financial decisions into a source of clarity instead of conflict.

Imagine you could swap places with legendary investor Warren Buffett, now 95. Would you? Time is scarce and unrecoverable, unlike money. 

Remember this when deciding whether to take a promotion just for a bigger paycheck, even if it means less time with family; or working longer hours for a fancier car when your current one works fine; or buying a bigger house when your kids already attend a great school in a safe neighborhood.

The returns on personal growth compound for decades. Education, learning a new skill, reading widely, or even investing in therapy can strengthen both your earning potential and your resilience. In a partnership, personal growth benefits everyone — stronger individuals make stronger teams.

Every borrowed dollar limits future freedom. A loan may feel manageable today, but it quietly shapes your choices tomorrow, from the jobs you can take to where you can live. Prioritizing flexibility over financing buys peace of mind and the ability to pivot when life changes.

Turning the lights off is a metaphor for the small things we do. It’s more than about saving a few cents on electricity; it’s a mindfulness practice. Every small act of frugality adds up, and it builds awareness of how we use our resources. 

A quiet life is often an intentional one. Choosing simplicity means choosing time over things, presence over pressure, and meaning over noise. Less clutter often leads to less stress — and more room for what actually matters.

The average new car now sells for over $50,000, and when you factor in financing, fuel, and insurance, monthly costs can exceed $1,200. Vehicles that are about three years old often hit the sweet spot between price and reliability. Investing the difference between new and used can significantly boost long-term net worth.

Cheapness cuts corners at all costs. Frugality focuses on getting value for your money. A frugal person maintains what they own, spends intentionally, and is generous where it counts.

Understanding that difference can prevent endless money conflicts because frugality builds a meaningful life, while cheapness slowly erodes joy.

Brian Page is the founder of Modern Husbands, a company dedicated to helping couples manage both financial and home responsibilities as a team. He holds a master’s degree in education and is certified as both an Accredited Financial Counselor® and a Fair Play Certified® domestic labor specialist.

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Engagement season is upon us, with December being the most popular month to propose worldwide, according to The Knot.

And while traditionally men have been expected to shell out for that diamond — as Beyoncé put it in 2008, he should’ve “put a ring on it” — many women are changing their expectations around who makes the purchase.

Nearly 71% (70.6%) of women say they’re willing to contribute to the cost of their engagement ring, according to DatingAdvice.com’s recent Holiday Engagement Survey of 1,000 partnered U.S. adults.

Almost 19% said they would pay for the ring in full, about 23% said they’d partially pay and 29% said they would contribute if needed.

Here’s why Natassia Miller, a certified sexologist who founded the sex and relationship coaching company Wonderlust, thinks women might be changing their tune.

There are more couples earning two salaries, with or without kids, than there were a decade ago, according to the Pew Research Center.

And while, on average, the gender wage gap persists, there are some metro areas in the U.S. where women under the age of 30 earn as much as or more than their male counterparts, according to Pew.

“Today, with more dual‑income couples and women delaying marriage while they build careers,” says Miller, “there’s more openness to treating the ring as a shared investment.”

This piece of jewelry is expensive: The average cost of an engagement ring is $5,200, according to The Knot.

And headlines abound about Americans’ financial hardships. Overall prices are up 25% since January 2020, for example, according to Consumer Price Index data, and nearly half of Americans believe their financial situation worsened this year, according to a recent survey by Intuit Credit Karma.

“Against that backdrop, it makes sense that couples are more pragmatic,” says Miller. “Instead of one partner taking on debt to hit an arbitrary ring budget, some women would rather share the cost and keep the purchase aligned with reality.​”

Finally, even as they consider their financial realities, women are willing to pay because the ring is symbolic.

“Even women who are financially independent often grew up on a steady diet of rom‑coms, social media proposals, and bridal marketing where the ring is framed as proof of worthiness and desirability,” says Miller.

For many women, “an engagement ring is still a public symbol that says, ‘Someone committed to me, and is willing to show that to the world.’”

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As a relationship counselor with over 10 years of experience, I’ve learned that even the strongest couples face conflict. What sets emotionally intelligent couples apart is their ability to stay connected, even when disagreements arise.

I’m often more concerned about couples who never fight, because avoiding conflict entirely can hide unresolved hurts. After all, the closer you are, the more likely ruptures are to happen, and how you handle them matters.

Here are three things emotionally intelligent couples do differently when they are in conflict.

We’ve all been there. One sharp comment can seem like an attack on your character. For example, you forget to text back and it is interpreted as not caring. A request for space could be misconstrued as abandonment.

Research shows that when couples are distressed, they’re more likely to interpret a partner’s behavior in ways that make it feel intentional, fixed, and personal (“you did this because you’re that kind of person”). Psychologists call this “negative attribution bias.”

Before conflicts devolve into defensiveness and character attacks, I give my clients a simple exercise.

Write down what you want to say. For example, “Why do you shut down every time I bring something up?” Then cross out every sentence that diagnoses your partner’s motives (“you don’t care,” “you’re trying to…,” “you always…”).

Next, try a reframe. Write down the observable behavior, its impact on you, and one clear, workable request: “When you go silent in moments like this, I start filling in the gaps on my own. I tell myself you don’t care or that I’ve done something wrong, and I feel alone pretty quickly. What would really help is just hearing where you are, even if you don’t know what else to say yet.”

This is a great way to protect your relationship while still naming the problem and offering something constructive.

Emotionally intelligent couples don’t expect their partner to fix their feelings, but they also don’t shut each other out. A partner’s presence can help them stay regulated and connected, even in anger or frustration.

Pausing during conflict is one of the hardest skills. It’s hardest when you’re triggered and least able to access your tools. I often encourage couples to plan ahead with a “clean pause” script, like: “I need 20 minutes so I don’t say something I’ll regret. I’ll come back.”

Follow-through matters as much as the pause. Couples can also use co-regulation — small ways to calm together: “Can we sit next to each other while we talk?” or, “Can I get a hug first, then we keep going?”

These strategies help partners stay connected while still taking responsibility for their own emotions.

When people feel threatened, the brain loves shortcuts. Emotionally intelligent couples slow this process down and become, in effect, investigators of each other’s inner worlds.

Curiosity has been associated with greater closeness and intimacy in conversations, especially during moments of disagreement.

Part of why curiosity disappears whether it’s one, 10, or 20 years in is because we start living off our assumptions. We tell ourselves we already know what our partner meant, what they felt, and why they did it because the person across from you is so familiar.

The problem is that once you think you already know the story, you stop learning about your partner’s actual experience. Conflict then becomes two competing narratives instead of a shared inquiry into what’s really happening, even when you disagree.

Instead of assuming the worst, the most emotionally intelligent couples will ask questions like:

• “Can you help me understand what was happening for you?”
• “What did you hear me say?”
• “What part of this feels hardest?”
• “What’s been on your mind lately that I haven’t asked about?”
• “What’s something you want more of right now?”

The strongest, most emotionally intelligent couples genuinely see who their partner is becoming, not who they want them to be or who they once were.

Baya Voce is a relationship expert who helps couples come back together after conflict. She holds an MSW from Columbia University. She regularly speaks at SXSW, and her TEDx talk on loneliness has over 5 million views. 

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As a clinical psychologist, I often have to caution clients to examine the sparks that they feel for a new romantic prospect.

You want to be excited about someone new and feel a deep connection to them. But many of us carry old wounds from our childhood, previous relationships, or formative experiences.

If your past was chaotic, inconsistent, and confusing, then you may be drawn to those same relationship dynamics again and again. Here are five signs that the chemistry you feel might actually be a red flag.

In your past, if someone made you feel loved but also anxious, your nervous system learned that loving and fearing the same person was okay.

Mixed signals, hot and cold affection, and inconsistency can then feel intimate rather than anxiety-inducing. Excitement and anxiety are closely related emotions, so you feel on edge, but mistake this feeling for excitement and chemistry.

What to do: Slow down and notice how your body feels around this person. Does your nervous system settle when you are around them or are you always on edge? If it’s the latter, that may be a signal that the feeling you have isn’t chemistry, and that this person makes you feel unsafe.

The emotional rollercoaster when someone pulls away and the relief when they come close again can feel like a spark, especially if you had relationship dynamics like that in the past.

When you are stressed, your body releases hormones such as cortisol, which activates reward and addiction pathways in your brain.

As a result, you may unconsciously chase that stress, conflict, unpredictability, and intensity because it gives your body a hit of the feel-good chemicals that it craves.

What to do: Your body needs to learn how to slow down and feel safe again. This can look like stretching, breathwork, meditation, nature walks, and decreasing your workload.

Being drawn to someone doesn’t always mean the chemistry is good. You may be unconsciously trying to gain mastery over an old wound by reenacting the pain.

You believe that you can make it right this time. You might also recreate painful dynamics that mirror your past because you can predict what happens, and this gives you a false sense of control.

What to do: Self-reflection is important here. Does this person remind you of something from your past? Therapy can provide you with a safe space to unpack your history. 

If it feels exciting when your partner is jealous, this isn’t chemistry — it is your insecurity rearing its head.

You might even do something on purpose to trigger their jealousy in order to feel closer to them or make them prove to you that you are wanted. In your mind, this might sound like, “If they choose me, then I’m finally good enough,” or, “If they chase me, it means they love me enough.”

What to do: Work on yourself so your validation comes from within, not from other people. Remember who you are outside of the context of this relationship, and that you are already more than enough. 

Steady connection should feel grounding and safe. But if your nervous system is used to chaos, calm can feel boring and even uncomfortable. 

You may catch yourself thinking there’s no spark, and then chase the next thrill by creating tension, initiating conflict, or even leaving the relationship. If you feel safe and you aren’t used to that, in your mind, this might sound like, “If I feel safe, I’ll let my guard down but then I’ll get hurt.”

The lack of spark doesn’t mean there isn’t chemistry. It might just mean there isn’t anxiety.

What to do: Teach your body that it’s okay to feel calm. When you feel like you want to create conflict or chase a thrill, stop and notice that. Then practice doing the opposite of what your urges are, and waiting for them to pass.

Noticing patterns in your relationships is a great first step. Of course, you should always consult with your physician or therapist before making significant changes. Understanding how to slow down and process your past can help you relearn what safety and consistency feel like.

Dr. Amy Tran is a clinical psychologist. Her PhD in child and adolescent psychology informs her work on attachment, relationships, and emotional safety. She is a digital artist and author of ”This Book is a Safe Space.″ Follow her on Instagram.

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After years of steep increases, renters are finally seeing sustained price relief, a trend that appears to be carrying into early 2026.

In November, the median asking rent across the 50 largest U.S. metro areas was $1,693, down about 1% from a year earlier and marking the 28th consecutive month of year-over-year declines, according to Realtor.com listings data. Nationally, the median rent fell to $1,367, down 1.1% from a year earlier, according to Apartment List’s data.

November is typically the slowest month for rentals, but rents fell more from October to November this year than they did over the same period last year, according to Apartment List.

With new apartment supply still hitting the market, rents are expected to remain lower into 2026.

“Barring a major economic shock, 2026 is shaping up to be one of the more renter-friendly periods we’ve seen in a decade,” says Michelle Griffith, a luxury real estate broker at Douglas Elliman.

Rent relief comes after a sharp run-up in prices earlier in the decade.

Prices for one- and two-bedroom rentals were rising at an annual pace above 12% in mid-2021 and mid-2022 amid high demand, according to Realtor.com data. Since early 2023, rent growth has turned negative as a surge of new apartment supply entered the market.

In 2024, more than 600,000 new multifamily apartment units — typically large, managed apartment buildings — were completed nationwide, the most in a single year since the 1980s, according to Apartment List.

The biggest rent cuts have shown up in these buildings, where the surge of supply has forced landlords to compete for tenants.

“We’re seeing price wars within buildings, longer days on market, and the need for multiple price reductions just to generate foot traffic,” says Jaclyn Bild, a real estate broker associate at Douglas Elliman.

Prices for detached homes and higher-end rentals have held more steady, with demand remaining relatively strong, she says.

Rent relief hasn’t been uniform, as conditions vary widely by market. The sharpest declines have occurred in fast-growing Sun Belt and interior Western metros with a surge in new housing supply in recent years—especially Austin.

These 10 cities recorded some of the steepest year-over-year drops in median asking rent in November, using data for the 50 largest U.S. metro areas, according to Realtor.com.

1. Austin–Round Rock–San Marcos, Texas: −6.6%
2. Denver–Aurora–Centennial, Colorado: −4.8%
3. Birmingham, Alabama: −4.6%
4. Jacksonville, Florida: −4.2%
5. Phoenix–Mesa–Chandler, Arizona: −4.0%
6. San Diego–Chula Vista–Carlsbad, California: −3.5%
7. Las Vegas–Henderson–North Las Vegas, Nevada: −3.0%
8. Houston–Pasadena–The Woodlands, Texas: −2.7%
9. Miami–Fort Lauderdale–West Palm Beach, Florida: −2.7%
10. San Antonio–New Braunfels, Texas: −2.7%

While rents remain well above pre-pandemic levels, the momentum has shifted in many markets.

High vacancies and a wave of new apartments still coming onto the market are expected to keep rent growth limited into early 2026, with prices leveling off later in the year rather than rebounding quickly, according to Apartment List.

“This is a good time to negotiate rather than assume the asking rent is fixed,” says Griffith. “Landlords are far more open to concessions, flexible lease terms, or modest rent reductions than they were even a year ago. Locking in a lease during periods of elevated supply, especially in late winter or early spring, can provide cost certainty before demand picks up again.”

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