Mornings are one of the most underestimated aspects of a relationship. For many working couples, they’re something to rush through on the way to the day ahead. Alarms go off, phones come out, coffee is gulped down, and before either partner is fully awake, they’re already headed into separate days.

But as a psychologist who studies couples, and as a husband, I’ve seen that the happiest couples use their mornings productively to make sure they leave the house knowing they’re on the same team.

Here’s what they do differently that most neglect.

Your partner shouldn’t be seen as an obstacle you have to get around in the morning. Even on busy days, happy couples make a point to acknowledge one another before shifting into work mode.

That often means making eye contact when saying “good morning” or sharing coffee or tea together without distractions. These moments may seem mundane, but research shows relationships thrive on small “bids” for attention that signal recognition and care.

Skipping them entirely can leave partners feeling emotionally invisible before the day has even begun.

Mornings aren’t ideal for heavy conversations. Cortisol levels are naturally elevated upon waking, meaning your body is already primed for stress. Trying to tackle nuance or conflict too early can activate that response even more.

The happiest couples understand this intuitively. Before diving into logistics or complaints, they take a moment to sync: sitting quietly together, sharing coffee on the couch, or simply standing side by side while doing their morning routines.

Even a few moments of silent togetherness can regulate the nervous system and make the day feel more manageable.

Rather than full emotional check-ins, happy couples keep morning communication light, but still honest. Each partner shares one sentiment regarding their current feelings:

• “I’m feeling a bit anxious about today.”
• “I’m excited but exhausted.”
• “I’m not fully awake yet.”

They’re not revolutionary, but they’re necessary for giving context to moods and behavior the other will see later on. It’s much easier to understand your partner’s short temper when you remember that they had a stressful meeting that day.

This could be five minutes of cuddles before getting up, walking the dogs together or cooking breakfast while listening to their song. The point is for it to be simple enough for you to repeat daily without struggle.

Having habits like these — routines or rituals that you can call “our thing” — can serve as surprisingly strong reaffirmations of your identity as a couple.

In many relationships, physical affection in the morning gets reduced to a rushed goodbye kiss on the cheek, if that. But happier couples don’t budge on this. They use touch intentionally to ground themselves.

Spooning, long hugs, proper kisses or simply just leaning into each other for a moment before leaving — regardless of what suits you, any kind of physical contact like this can activate oxytocin and calm the nervous system, which helps both partners feel steadier as they separate.

Mornings can get messy if one partner is expected to bear the brunt of the household’s mental or physical load.

Happy couples reduce this by treating mornings as a shared operation. If there are tasks that have to get done before work, like prepping lunch, feeding pets, or getting the kids ready, they divide them up mindfully and adjust when one partner is struggling. 

It doesn’t have to look like perfect fairness every day. Just ensuring that no one’s plate is too full goes a long way in protecting goodwill.

Before parting ways, the happiest couples will always offer at least one small yet specific gesture of support:

• “Good luck with your presentation today.”
• “You’ve got this.”
• “Text me if you need a pep talk.”

While they won’t change the day’s demands, they can make the demands feel easier to manage. More importantly, they show your partner that you’re emotionally attuned to the things that matter to them, even if you’re physically present.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

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Mikayla McGhee is a self-proclaimed military brat. Both of her parents are in the U.S. Navy — her mom served 30 years, and her dad is still on active duty after 40 years.

“My life was moving around from military base to military base,” the 29-year-old American tells CNBC Make It.

McGhee spent most of her life living abroad in Japan, which, she says, led her to realize she wanted to make a life for herself outside of the United States.

“I was always working towards freedom, so I never knew exactly what I was going to do but I knew I wanted the freedom to be able to live wherever I wanted to and travel whenever I wanted to,” she says.

“Once you’ve experienced growing up abroad and you’re exposed to that, you continue to search for it. So moving back to the States after living in Japan, I always knew I wanted to live outside of the U.S. I just didn’t know how.”

In 2020, McGhee, who was living in Atlanta, Georgia, visited her parents in Bahrain, which is where her dad was stationed at the time. The country is located in the Persian Gulf and is home to the Naval Support Activity Bahrain, a U.S. military base.

Before visiting the island for the first time, McGhee admits she had preconceived notions and didn’t actually know what to expect. But was pleasantly surprised, she says.

“The culture shock was that, actually, things were better, not worse. Don’t just believe what you’re told or what you see in the media because it’s nothing like that at all,” she says.

“It’s so calm. It’s so peaceful. There was never a time where I didn’t feel like I fit in or I was standing out as an expat. Every culture shock was a positive one.”

McGhee stayed for three months and says she fell in love with the country.

“I met so many great people. I didn’t want to go home, and as soon as I got home, I started planning how I was going to move because I knew I had to leave,” she says.

That first trip to Bahrain is what led McGhee to make the full-time move over in December 2022. She lived in her parents’ three-bedroom home for six months before moving out on her own.

Now, McGhee lives near the capital of Bahrain, Manama, in a three-bedroom, four-and-a-half-bathroom home with a pool and one-car garage that rents for $2,200 USD a month.

She says she and her partner split expenses, though he pays the majority, while most of her money goes to savings and to the trips the couple takes together.

McGhee’s expenses also include groceries, which range from 25 to 60 BHD or $66 to $158 USD multiple times a week, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It. She also says she has the following bills:

• Nails: 20 BHD or $53
• Hair: up to 30 BHD or $79
• Cellphone: $150 USD
• Storage unit in Atlanta: $125 a month

McGhee works as a senior performance marketing manager at an IT company and earns $140,000 a year, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It.

She works Eastern Standard Time, and her day usually starts at 5 to 6 p.m. local time. She ends her day between midnight and 1 a.m. local time.

“That was my biggest thing when looking for a new role. It was finding a place that would let me live anywhere and gave me the flexibility to work across time zones,” she says.

Since McGhee earns her salary in USD, she still pays U.S. taxes. McGhee also uses the health insurance offered by her company, which still allows her access to Bahrain’s healthcare system.

When McGhee is free during the day she likes to work out, shop for groceries, and create content. She shares a lot of her life in Bahrain on TikTok to her over 64,000 followers.

“It is my duty to make sure that Americans know how great this country is,” McGhee says.

McGhee says she doesn’t know if she will stay in Bahrain long-term, but she does know she wants to buy property around the country as real estate investments and have a permanent place for herself there, too.

“My life is 10 times better here. My happiness has skyrocketed. Even the weather alone has increased my mood,” she says.

“I will always want to have something that I can come back to, that I could call my home. Bahrain felt like home from the day I got here, so in order for me to leave, another place would need to do the same.”

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Farcia Harvey considers herself to be pretty well traveled. The 27-year-old has crossed off New York City, New Orleans for Mardi Gras, Barcelona and Madrid from her travel bucket list. But one of her favorite trips was her 2024 birthday trip to Cincinnati, of all places.

“I think about that trip to Cincinnati genuinely all of the time,” Harvey tells CNBC Make It, saying she wanted somewhere not too far from her home at the time in Nashville, but not a staycation either. “It’s one of the best memories I have for my birthday, and it’s something that to this day, me and my friends still talk about.”

Some of her highlights were hitting the Somerset outdoor bar, Brown Bear Bakery, the Riverfront’s walking paths and the city’s free streetcar downtown — simpler and slower luxuries that bigger cities may not offer.

Her social media posts hyping Cincinnati and under-the-radar cities last summer went viral with over 1 million views on Instagram and Tiktok, prompting thousands of comments shouting out other secondary cities worth a visit.

Harvey’s love of hidden gem travel is part of a bigger trend where vacationers are seeking slower, more enriching trips away from the busyness of big-city destinations.

“A lot of people truly believe in order to be well traveled, they have to see Europe, they have to see Africa, all of these other places,” Harvey says. That may be true for some, but not all, she says: “You can have a great time in the middle of nowhere.” 

Farm-stay vacations, in particular, are seeing a boom: 84% of travelers said they’re interested in staying on or near a farm, according to a recent report from Expedia, Hotels.com and Vrbo. Interest in rural escapes has boomed for Gen Z travelers over the past two years, with a 300% spike year-over-year in guest reviews mentioning farms on Vrbo.

Even life milestone celebrations are getting the slow travel treatment. Aricka Giglia, 28, gathered 10 of her best girlfriends for her bachelorette at a farm outside Dallas last spring.

The LA resident wanted her bachelorette to feel more like a wellness retreat than a typical party weekend. But finding the right venue was the challenge.

She ended up booking a three-night stay at Lavender Hill Farmhouse, drawn to its features of a chicken coop, fields with cows and horses, a pond with paddle boats, an outdoor grill where they hosted a hibachi dinner, and a big kitchen where they invited a private chef for another.

“I don’t think any of us have traveled intentionally to be with nature,” Giglia says. “If it’s nature, it’s tropical, but it’s never a farm.”

“It’s this slow travel movement. People just want a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life,” says Melanie Fish, travel expert for Expedia, Hotels.com, and Vrbo. “Specifically they’re looking for access to nature walks, hiking, but then, very specific to farm stays, they want a chance to interact with farm animals.”

The unconventional stay was also affordable, Giglia says, estimating her guests paid about $250 each for the weekend — a steal compared to her husband’s bachelor party in Los Cabos, Mexico, that ran about $800 per head.

Group trips at under-the-radar cities have become a big part of Mackenzie Newcomb’s business running the Bad Bitch Book Club from New York City.

The club, started in 2018, launched its annual summer camp trip for readers to meet in-person in July 2021. About 28 people showed up at the Northern Outdoors campgrounds in Forks, Maine.

It was such a hit that the club now hosts reading trips across the U.S. once a month that cost between $900 to $1,500 for basic room packages and a weekend of meals and activities. Last year, BBBC hosted three weeks of summer camp; 400 people applied for 200 spots, Newcomb, 32, says.

Demand is likely to grow: 91% of travelers saying they’re interested in taking a trip centered around reading, relaxation and quality time, according to Expedia’s travel trends report. Mentions of reading-related terms in Vrbo guest reviews has surged 285% year-over-year, and searches for “book retreats” and “book club retreat ideas” are up on Pinterest.

“I’m going to credit Booktok with the dramatic rise in what Vrbo is calling ‘readaways,’” says Fish, the travel expert. “Groups are headed to these serene destinations, coastal homes, country retreats, or just cozy, multi-bedroom getaways with a porch swing that they’re dying to curl up in, and their goal is to read.”

When choosing the right location for a reading retreat, splashier cities aren’t always the best move, Newcomb says.

Newcomb’s least favorite retreats were in Nashville and New Orleans, great cities in their own right, but not good for a reading trip “because it’s all about exploring and not at all about relaxing,” she says. “There has to be a strong relaxation element and a great view. When I’m looking for homes, I tend to look for places that people would be just as happy just being in that rental house the entire weekend reading as they would going out and exploring the area.”

To that end, some of her favorite lit trips have taken place in Santa Fe, New Mexico; Chattanooga, Tennessee; Savannah, Georgia; Door County, Wisconsin; Holland, Michigan; The Berkshires in Massachusetts; and Mount Snow, Vermont.

Hocking Hills, Ohio, about an hour south of Columbus, is “a strong contender for a future trip,” Newcomb says, adding that members have been “vouching very strongly” for a book club retreat there for years. “And of course I’m like, ‘I don’t want to go to Ohio,’ but they insist that it’s going to be the place to go.”

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Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos doesn’t have management books stashed in his work bag, on his desk or piled on his nightstand.

Sarandos doesn’t really read management books at all, he said in an interview for an episode of CNBC’s “Leaders Playbook,” a series set to premiere on Wednesday. Instead, he reads fiction novels to learn about leadership, he said. His favorite management book: “Typhoon,” a 1902 novella by Joseph Conrad about a steamship captain and crew navigating a severe storm while at sea.

“It doesn’t sound like a management story on the surface, but I think it’s the most powerful leadership story I’ve ever read,” said Sarandos, 61. “I read it over and over again because I find … I get something different in the book every time I read it.”

When Sarandos first read the book roughly 20 years ago, he thought the captain was a reckless “hot dog” who put himself and his family in jeopardy, he said. On more recent reads, he’s come away with a more salient lesson about leading in the face of conflict and uncertainty.

“Now, what I see is that when you go through life and you go through business, you make a lot of decisions that don’t turn out the way you thought they would,” said Sarandos. “The real leadership test is: How do you manage through that?”

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Sarandos joined Netflix as its head of content operations in 2000, and further learned how to embrace uncertainty while working for Netflix co-founder and former CEO Reed Hastings, he said. “I think the lesson that he’s left for me is that you pick the best people, give them the tools to do the best work of their life, and get out of their way,” said Sarandos.

He recalled a specific instance in which he acted with a lot of autonomy, taking “a big financial swing” with no guaranteed payoff. About a decade into his tenure at the streaming company, Sarandos spent $100 million of Netflix’s money to create the company’s first original television series, “House of Cards” and greenlight it for two seasons — without asking Hastings for permission, he said.

“When he asked me, ‘Why would you do that?’ I said, ‘Reed, it’s a simple risk-reward for me. If this show fails, we will have dramatically overpaid for a show. We do that all the time, but if it succeeds, we could completely transform the business as we know it,’” said Sarandos.

Sarandos isn’t the only prominent businessperson who draws inspiration from fictional stories.

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos’ leadership style has been partially shaped by Kazuo Ishiguro’s “The Remains of the Day,” according to author Brad Stone’s biography “The Everything Store.” Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates frequently touts the value of reading fiction, noting in a Nov. 25 blog post that some novels can ”[pull] back the curtain on how something important really works.”

Anyone can glean real-life takeaways from novels if they practice summarizing the plot, analyzing the motivations of the characters and spend time drawing parallels between the conflict in the book and issues they may face at work, Northwestern University leadership professor Brooke Vuckovic told CNBC Make It in January 2023.

“Our best leaders are looking for ways to develop themselves, and fiction represents an often underused and incredibly powerful, low cost, ongoing, pleasurable way to develop ourselves — if read correctly,” said Vuckovic.

Watch Netflix co-CEO Ted Sarandos on CNBC’s ”Leaders Playbook″ premiering Wednesday, Jan. 7 at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT. All new episodes Wednesdays.

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Gone are the days of spending hours searching for the answer to a question, having to leave the house to meet someone new or even getting up to change the temperature in your home.

But technologically enabled convenience comes at a cost, says Stanford psychiatrist Anna Lembke: Now, most people tend to dislike activities that require effort even more than they used to. Working out or learning a new skill from scratch can feel more like a chore than something to enjoy. But you can train your brain to do — and like — these types of challenges, Lembke said on Monday’s episode of the “Diary Of A CEO” podcast.

Her advice: Make a granular and intentional plan for tackling your activity before you actually do it.

“If we wait till that moment to decide whether or not to do something that’s hard, we almost always choose not to do it,” said Lembke, author of “Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence,” a New York Times bestseller. “But if we make a plan in advance, let’s say the day before that, ‘Tomorrow I’m going to get up at this time. I’m going to get my stuff together and I’m going to go to the gym,’ we’re much more likely to engage in that activity.”

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You likely already do this in other aspects of your life, like planning dinner for the week ahead of time or picking out your work clothes the night before, so you don’t run late. Preparation helps us “put the brakes on our short-term desires and project ourselves into the future to achieve our long-term desires,” Lembke said.

Having an accountability buddy can help: People tend to accomplish more when they have a partner, or group of partners, on a similar path. In couples, if one partner makes a healthier change, the other is likely to make the same positive change, found a 2015 study from University College London researchers. 

Connecting friendship or socialization to your goals, like attending a workout class or a study group, “makes it much easier to do these difficult things,” said Lembke.

Financial psychologist Charles Chaffin, co-founder of the Financial Psychology Institute and a professor at Iowa State University, agrees with the buddy system approach, he told CNBC Make It on Dec. 23.

“Dry January is a great example,” Chaffin said. “If you do dry January with the people you go out drinking with, your chances of actually being successful go way up because you’re going through that with someone. You’re policing each other. You’re encouraging each other. Those are all really, really good things.”

The path to achieving the hard thing — whatever that may be for you — likely won’t be enjoyable at first, Lembke noted. She used the metaphor of a balance scale, with pleasure on one side and pain on the other side. By getting up early and dedicating two hours to an uninterrupted study session, for example, you’re intentionally adding weight to the “pain” side of your scale. 

A quick social media break would add some temporary weight to the “pleasure” side of the scale, but by sticking with your goal and pushing past the discomfort, you’ll get a longer-lasting boost of dopamine, she said.

If you slip up on your journey to meeting a goal, don’t be too hard on yourself, Lembke added. At the beginning of the year, people tend to set concrete, unattainable goals and then feel a lot of shame when they don’t strictly adhere to them.

Maybe you didn’t completely cut out sugar like you’d hoped, for example, but at least you ate more whole foods and upped your water intake. Progress is still progress, even if it isn’t perfect.

“For some, a better approach is sort of self-compassion and a goal of moderation,” said Lembke.

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