Habits shape how we work, how we manage stress, and how we relate to others. They determine whether we move closer to our goals, or repeat the same mistakes.

The same is true in our romantic relationships. Our satisfaction, stability and sense of connection are directly related to the behaviors we default to every day. 

As a psychologist who studies couples — and as a husband — I’ve seen how some of the most powerful relationship rituals also happen to be the simplest. Here are five habits that reliably show up in the happiest, most resilient relationships.

Humans are biologically wired to focus on the negative. This bias helped our ancestors survive by scanning for threats. But in modern relationships, it often leads to pessimism, criticism or chronic dissatisfaction.

Over time, a glass-half-empty mindset trains partners to look for problems rather than moments worth appreciating. That’s why what researchers call “capitalization,” or how partners respond when the other shares good news, is so important.

Studies show that when people respond with enthusiasm (i.e., asking questions, expressing interest, celebrating wins), couples report higher relationship satisfaction and stronger emotional bonds.

Feeling like your partner is “your person” matters a lot, but no one can realistically meet all of another person’s emotional, social and psychological needs.

Happy couples invest in friendships, family relationships and community connections, both together and independently. It prevents the relationship from becoming overburdened by unrealistic expectations.

When partners feel socially supported beyond the relationship, they’re less likely to feel resentful, trapped or emotionally depleted. The relationship becomes a place of choice, not obligation.

Variety is called the spice of life for a reason. Even strong relationships can begin to feel stale when the novelty disappears. This is especially true for couples who live together and work demanding jobs; the cycle of work, home, sleep and repeat can become monotonous over time.

This is why happy couples actively seek out what researchers call “third spaces,” or environments that exist outside of home (the first place) and work (the second place). It could be a favorite café, a climbing gym, a walking trail, a trivia night, or a class they take together.

The primary purpose of the third space is intentional exploration. When you regularly introduce new third spaces into your routine, you inject a sense of novelty and adventure without needing to travel or make any major life changes.

Consistency and support are foundational in healthy relationships. But over time, some couples begin to over-rely on one another — for emotional regulation, decision-making or daily logistics. This can slowly lead to codependence.

Happy couples counteract this by practicing independence. They maintain solo hobbies, spend time alone, or handle some responsibilities individually.

This independence is vital for maintaining a sense of self. More importantly, it enables something many couples underestimate the value of: the chance to miss one another.

Waking up next to the same person every day can create the illusion of deep familiarity. Many couples assume that physical closeness naturally begets emotional closeness, but this is not the case. People grow and change in little ways more often than we realize.

Happy couples always remain curious. They remind themselves that they’re both constantly evolving. By making time to ask questions, they also begin to notice all the new dreams, wants and needs in their partner. This protects them from one of the most common relationship pitfalls: distance despite proximity.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website Therapytips.org.

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In my decade of advising Fortune 500 companies as a behavioral researcher, I’ve found that one of the most effective ways to stop a manipulator is one key phrase: “That’s interesting. Tell me more.”

Manipulative people thrive on emotional reactions, confusion and ambiguity. This simple phrase helps neutralize that and change the power balance in the conversation.

With “that’s interesting,” you’re acknowledging what’s been said without validating or challenging the claim. You’re simply signaling: “I heard you, and I’m not rattled.” This removes the emotional hook that many manipulators rely on.

With “tell me more” (or other variations: “What makes you say that?” “What led you to that conclusion?”), you are cutting away any confusion and ambiguity, in favor of curiosity. “Why” questions can feel accusatory and often trigger defensiveness. Stick with the more open-toned “what” statements in order to keep the exchange from escalating further. 

If you find yourself in situations where you are being gaslit, guilt-tripped or coerced, here is how to best use this simple but subtly powerful phrase.

Gaslighting is when someone makes you question your memory or perception of reality.

• They might say: “I never said that. You’re remembering it wrong.”
• You can reply: “That’s interesting. Tell me more about how you remember it.” Then you could follow up with, “That’s not how I remember it.” Or, if applicable, “Let’s ask someone else who was there.”

This works because you’re not having to defend your memory in the moment. You invite the other person to clarify and provide detail. 

Gaslighting loses power when it has to stand on specifics. When someone has to explain their version clearly, inconsistencies often surface, and the psychological pressure shifts off you and back onto the facts.

We’ve all been there. Someone uses obligation or emotion to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. 

• They might say: “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”
• You can reply: “That’s interesting. What makes you say that?” Then follow up with, “I appreciate what you’ve done, and this is still my decision.” Or, “I can care about you but still choose differently.”

This works because the focus shifts from your supposed guilt to their reasoning. When you ask them to articulate their logic and explain themselves, the emotional pressure and leverage often weakens. 

Subtle coercion shows up when a manipulator ties cooperation to your loyalty or care.

• They might say: “If you really cared, you’d agree with me.”
• You can reply: “That’s interesting. What makes you think that?” Then follow up with, “Caring doesn’t always mean we have to agree on everything,” or, “I can care and still see it differently.”

This detaches your values from their request. You’re not arguing about whether you care, you’re asking how they arrived at that conclusion. That creates psychological space and that’s when manipulation loses traction. 

Manipulators rely on emotional reactions. The moment you slow the exchange down and get curious, their leverage weakens. Calm questions protect your clarity and your boundaries, and shift conversations towards facts instead of feelings. 

In difficult conversations, composure is often more powerful than confrontation.

Shadé Zahrai is an award-winning peak performance educator, behavioral researcher, leadership strategist, and author of “Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, and Fuel Success.” Recognized as one of LinkedIn’s Top 50 Most Impactful People, she supports leaders at some of the world’s biggest brands, including Microsoft, Deloitte, Procter & Gamble, and JPMorgan.

Want to improve your communication, confidence and success at work? Take CNBC’s new online course, Master Your Body Language To Boost Your Influence. Register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 20% off. Offer valid from Feb. 9 to Feb. 23, 2026. Terms apply.

I’m not one to jump on the bandwagon of declaring anything and everything you might not like about your date a red flag. But some things are very clear, and your job is to pay attention and act accordingly.

I’ve been a dating coach for the past 15 years, and one question I get over and over is about red flags, especially on the first date. 

Now, some things are a matter of preference or taste. Think: Their pants are too short. Their hair is too long. Their sense of humor doesn’t match mine. Other things are personal dealbreakers. For example, if someone wants children and you don’t. 

While preferences and even dealbreakers are a matter of alignment rather than inherently good or bad, a red flag is a universal, character-based issue like dishonesty, lack of empathy, disrespect, manipulation, or anything that compromises your emotional or physical safety. 

These first date phrases are clear red flags:

Especially if unprompted, the minute your date — a virtual stranger — starts bashing an ex, it tells you one of several things. This person:

• Is not taking accountability
• Lacks the social awareness to know that it’s simply too soon to share this information
• Could speak negatively about anyone in their life one day, including you
• May not be over the last relationship — and certainly has some bitterness — to have it come up so soon and so negatively 

My recommendation is not to ask about past relationships on a first date. It’s too soon. I tell my clients to see how someone shows up in the present, and use that information to assess. In the early stages of dating, we’re collecting data points, and it’s much more important to be an observer than a detective. 

A client recently told me that she was on a date, and the man she was with said to her, verbatim, “I’ve never dated a woman who wasn’t brown before.” (She happened to be white. And Jewish.) He went on to say, “But I saw a Sarah Silverman special once and I thought she was attractive, so maybe I am into Jewish women.” (I couldn’t make this up if I tried.)

She’s not just a Jewish or white woman, she’s herself. And no one should ever be made to feel as if they have to represent an entire race, ethnicity, religion, or other group.  

Whether you classify this as a red flag is up to you. It’s actually quite honest, and maybe you’re also looking for something casual. 

But assuming you’re dating with a relationship in mind, it is imperative to listen and use this information in your decision-making process. 

Please take “right now” to mean “ever” or — harder to swallow but equally true — “with you.”

I got a DM from a woman the other day asking me what she should’ve done in this situation: When offering to split the bill, her date said, “If I’m getting a second date, I’ll pay.” 

I get that dating can be expensive, but this attitude is transactional, as if she owes him a second date. I told her, in no uncertain terms, that she should decline a second date. Since she had ultimately let him pay in the moment, I told her to block him after she declines to see him again because he’ll definitely be one of those guys who sends her a Venmo request. 

If it were me, I might have declared, “I should get my half because I don’t see us going out again.” But I realize not everyone is comfortable with that level of confrontation. 

Do these first date red flags warrant leaving a date early? No. But they do warrant declining a second date. 

And the way to do that, if asked, is to say: “Thanks so much for a nice time. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel the connection I’m looking for, but I wish you all the best.” 

You’ll never regret taking the high road. 

Erika Ettin is the founder of A Little Nudge, a consulting company that helps people navigate the world of online dating, from first click to first date. Erika studied economics at Cornell University and received her MBA from Georgetown. She started A Little Nudge in 2011 after a seven-year career as an economist. It has been featured in outlets including The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, CBS, and Ask Men.

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When Martin Berry quit his lucrative banking job in late 2013 to go all-in on selling bubble tea, his boss thought he was “insane.”

At the time, Berry was in his 30s and had spent much of his career working in senior executive roles, managing multi-trillion dollar balance sheets, he said. However, he found that over time, the big paychecks no longer fulfilled him.

“I realized after working hard for quite a long period of time that I didn’t really like the corporate system. I didn’t like its lack of entrepreneurialism,” Berry told CNBC Make It. “It was all about risk management, not risk taking.”

Today, he is the founder and chairman of Gong cha Global, an international bubble tea franchise. The company originates from a small tea shop in Taiwan opened in 1996 by a man named Zhen-hua Wu.

Before Berry joined, Gong cha was only in four countries across Asia. Under his leadership, it transformed from a regional brand into a global one, with over 2,000 Gong cha locations across 30 countries.

Berry grew up in the countryside of Melbourne, Australia. Since childhood, he’s had the entrepreneurial bug, he said.

“We didn’t necessarily have a lot of money … I started to become quite entrepreneurial from a very young age, trying to start businesses and different types of things,” said Berry.

From working on farms and feeding cows to selling Christmas trees, he would find different ways to make money as a kid. “I was just born with this innate desire for making money,” he said. “I think I was very driven by money and what it could do for you, and the empowerment that it [could] bring.”

Berry only became more enterprising with age. At age 19, while most of his peers were focused on school and their social lives, he managed to land his first full-time corporate job.

“I actually snuck into a university presentation, which was meant to be for graduates … I was listening to all these companies pitch as to why these graduates should join them,” said Berry. After the event, he went to the HR representative for IT company Hewlett-Packard (HP) and offered to work for free.

That conversation helped Berry land his first summer internship with the company, ultimately turning into a full-time job, which he balanced on top of his university studies.

“I just managed to make it work by studying [at] night and weekends to complete the degree, and by the time I graduated, I already had sort of three years’ worth of corporate experience,” said Berry.

By the time Berry was in his 30s, he was working in high-ranking roles in offices around the world including Australia, London, Singapore and South Korea. After about two decades working in the corporate world, he knew it was time for something else.

One day in early 2011, Berry chanced upon what would become his next chapter. He was getting a haircut at a mall in Singapore when he noticed a long line forming outside a shop nearby.

Curious, he joined the queue. It turned out to be a Gong cha store — which was gaining popularity in Asia.

Berry noticed a few green flags: drinks were quick to make, stores were small and leanly staffed, and the product’s simple ingredients suggested strong margins.

“I knew nothing about boba or bubble tea, but from a financial engineering standpoint … [I thought] this product must be incredibly profitable,” he said.

Berry thought it looked like all the right ingredients for a business, so he started to do some due diligence. He bought ten of their best-selling drinks that day, taste tested them, then spent the next few weeks visiting different stores to observe foot traffic. He decided he wanted in.

After several unsuccessful attempts to reach Gong cha’s headquarters, he decided to fly to Taiwan and turn up at their door. Luckily the original founder was there. The two penned a deal and Berry became a master franchiser of the bubble tea company.

Berry said he spent about $2.5 million in life savings to bring the company into its fifth market, South Korea, and went on to lead the brand’s international expansion.

In 2024, the company brought in over $500 million in systemwide sales, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It.

“When you’re struggling … to start a business, you think you have to invent the next light bulb or the next wheel … but it’s so far from the truth,” said Berry. “It’s really about looking for something that [has] a lot of potential, whether you can either do it better than somebody [else], or you can put a different spin on it.”

“It’s just by opening up your mind and opening up your eyes to what’s out there in the world,” he said.

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Zen Stewart knows firsthand that career paths aren’t linear. Hers hasn’t been.

Today, the 34-year-old is an electrician in Raleigh, North Carolina — a construction wireman level four, to be exact. That would’ve surprised her younger self.

“I always liked fashion, design, architecture,” she tells CNBC Make It. “I never for once thought I’d be in the trades.”

After graduating high school, Stewart pursued several fields of study, including interior design, graphic design and business. None felt right.

“I knew in my core that something else was out there for me,” she says.

Stewart cycled through stints deejaying and working in retail, jewelry, sales and telehealth. She was laid off from that last job, scheduling routes for health workers, as new software replaced the need for human workers, she says.

“The idea of becoming an electrician didn’t even hit my mind until I started getting, like, laid off from jobs that I thought were good jobs,” says Stewart, who began researching what careers “aren’t going to be replaced by AI anytime soon.”

She landed on electrical work because “there were many ways to move up and many pathways that paid very well” and because it gave her the chance to work with her hands and still be creative.

Stewart was also drawn to the electrical trade over others because it’s physically more feasible for her as a woman, she says. “I figured I’d be able to handle that.”

When Stewart told her friends and family about wanting to become an electrician, “it was a shock,” she says. “It’s very different from the things I had been doing.”

“They were kind of used to me saying, ‘Oh, I want to be an interior designer. I want to be an architect. I want to be a DJ.’ So they were kind of like, ‘Oh, you know, well, here’s the new thing,’” she says.

Stewart’s mother nevertheless connected her with the electricians from a company who happened to be working on a job at her own workplace, a jewelry store, and the rest is history. “I literally went into their office that same day, filled out my application,” Stewart says. “That next week, I was working.”

In 2025, Stewart made roughly $43,000 from electrical work, in addition to some income from her social media. In the future, she hopes to multiply her income, be debt-free and own a home.

Stewart joined the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers in August 2025, citing benefits like good health insurance, tuition assistance and ease of finding work. She pays roughly $57 monthly in union dues.

Stewart mostly works eight-hour days, sometimes 10, on Monday through Friday, with a rare weekend or night for overtime. She usually begins her days with a 4:30 or 5 a.m. wakeup.

“It was a huge culture shock because I wasn’t used to being up at the crack of dawn,” she says. But “after I got into the rhythm of things, I really enjoyed it.”

One of the biggest challenges is “trying to navigate this male-dominated field as a woman,” she says. “Yes, I feel safe and secure, but a lot of the times, because I’m a woman, I feel like I have to prove myself more.” While Stewart says her coworkers mean well, she sometimes feels she has to remind them, “It’s okay, I’ve got it. Like, I can do it myself.”

Stewart is currently preparing for her exam to become a union apprentice. After a multi-year apprenticeship, electricians can typically get their journeyman’s license, which allows them to work across residential, industrial and commercial settings without the supervision that apprentices are typically subject to.

She wants to learn “how to actually run my own crew” and “be in charge of a whole site.” With a union journeyman’s license, she hopes to travel and work in different states, which she says can be lucrative.

Stewart currently does commercial electric work but eventually wants to segue into industrial electric work, which typically pays better. Later on, she hopes to transition into more of a desk role in the industry, say, in project management.

“I do think about the physical toll of this work,” she says. “I know after a certain age, I’m not going to want to be out in the field.”

Stewart doesn’t believe AI will replace skilled trades workers for “a very long time,” if ever. But she does “see it starting to creep in a little bit,” she says, noting she’s seen bots that can map where a door should go or where a wall should begin. “I definitely believe that AI is going to hold a place in construction,” she says.

On social media, Stewart offers a look into her job.

“I figured if I could shine my light through my perspective of how it is in my day-to-day, that that could get other people interested in the trade,” she says. To those considering it, she adds, “Don’t let lack of experience stop you.

As for her job, she loves that “every day is different” and that she gets to “see things from start to finish,” from a pile of dirt to a completed building, she says. “Then being able to flick on the lights and seeing everything come to life, I think that is so satisfying.”

Stewart hopes to one day build a house from scratch. “I still have that creative spirit,” she says. “That still is very alive and well in my life.”

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