Every job, when you boil it down, is simply people talking to other people. 

As a career coach, I’ve advised professionals at all career stages. From what I’ve seen, the people who get ahead the fastest know how to communicate in a way that truly gets people to listen. 

You may not realize it, but the language you use could be standing between you and what you want. 

Here are five simple language swaps that can help you succeed, forge meaningful relationships, and demand more respect at work.

You’re always going to face moments where you have a question you’re not quite sure how to ask. 

Maybe you want to work from home, take a sabbatical, or get an extra week of vacation for your honeymoon. Because these are high-stakes situations, most people walk into the conversation radiating anxiety, cornering their opponent, or blurting out a closed-ended, yes-or-no question.

But making an open-ended ask can take the pressure off both parties and invite a dialogue about a process, priority or norm. It makes you look thoughtful, rather than entitled. 

• Instead of “Can you write me a recommendation?” try “What does your typical process for writing recommendations look like?”
• Instead of “Can I leave early Friday?” try “How does the team typically handle flexibility on Fridays?”
• Instead of “Can I get a promotion?” try “What would you say should be my priorities if I want to get promoted this year?”

Whether it’s a typo in a Slack message or you’re running 15 minutes late to an important meeting, missteps happen. 

Genuine apologies are necessary at times, but over-apologizing often backfires. Research has found that habitual, unnecessary apologizing can erode how others perceive your competence and confidence. 

But it can also feel awkward not to acknowledge small mistakes, so I recommend replacing unnecessary apologies with gratitude. 

• Instead of “Sorry I’m a minute late!” try “Thank you so much for waiting. Let’s get started.”
• Instead of “Sorry for all the questions,” try “I really appreciate you taking the time to walk me through this.”
• Instead of “Sorry, I know this is last-minute,” try “Thanks for being flexible with the timeline. I know this is last-minute.”

The word “but” often negates everything that comes before it. Whenever you’re stating two things that are equally valid, I encourage you to replace “but” with “and.” 

• Instead of “I love my job, but I need a raise,” try “I love my job, and I need a raise.”
• Instead of “This was a great quarter, but we need to improve retention,” try “This was a great quarter, and we need to improve retention.”
• Instead of “I appreciate the feedback, but I disagree,” try “I appreciate the feedback, and I see it a bit differently.”

The “and” version of these examples doesn’t minimize either statement. It allows two things to be true at once, promoting greater nuance and clarity. 

“I feel like” can come across as gentle, soft, and humble, which are all wonderful things to be. But in a professional setting, it can soften your message to the point where it can be easily dismissed. It frames your professional observations as personal emotions. 

In a work environment where data and clarity carry weight, that framing can work against you. Here’s what you can say instead:

• Instead of “I feel like we’re behind schedule,” try “I’ve noticed we’re falling behind schedule.”
• Instead of “I feel like we should go with option two,” try “My recommendation is to move forward with option two.”
• Instead of “I feel like we aren’t on the same page,” try “It seems like we’re not aligned on this.”

Questions that begin with “why” can put people on the defensive. Even if unintended, “why” often implies judgment, asking someone to justify their choices or thinking.

When someone feels like they need to defend themselves, the conversation stops being collaborative and starts being adversarial. Instead, invite your conversation partner to walk you through their thought process, rather than demanding they explain themselves.

• Instead of “Why do you think launching a week earlier would be smart?” try “How do you think launching a week earlier would benefit the campaign?”
• Instead of “Why are you doing it like that?” try “What technique are you using?”
• Instead of “Why did you move the meeting?” try “What was the reason for moving the meeting?”
• Instead of “Why did you assume it wouldn’t work?” try “How did you come to that conclusion?”

Ultimately, when you make these shifts, the person you’re talking to will feel more heard and respected — and will be more willing to have an honest conversation with you as a result. 

Erin McGoff is the founder of AdviceWithErin and author of “The Secret Language of Work.” Follow her @AdviceWithErin.

Want to improve your communication, confidence and success at work? Take CNBC’s new online course, Master Your Body Language To Boost Your Influence. Register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 20% off. Offer valid from Feb. 9 to Feb. 23, 2026. Terms apply.

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Tequila Turner collected her last regular paycheck in October 2024. Since then she’s traded her steady career in corporate IT for freelance projects and gig work, like delivering for DoorDash.

Her income plummeted from six figures to a fraction of that last year, she tells me over the phone between making deliveries. She moved in with friends to save money. And she’s been hard at work looking for a new job — but so far, no real luck.

Turner, 47, says she lost her job over a year ago when her contract role with a bank ended. The Kansas City, Missouri, resident is part of the growing share of Americans who are not only unemployed but have been looking for work for six months or more, making them what the Bureau of Labor Statistics defines as “long-term unemployed.”

Official numbers about the job market show a relatively stable labor economy with stronger than expected job growth in January — more than half of jobs added were in health care — and a slight drop in the unemployment rate to 4.3%, or 7.4 million people.

But the share of people who’ve been out of work for six-plus months has been rising for the last three years. Typically, long-term unemployment has gone down after the job market recovers following recessionary shocks like the pandemic or Great Recession.

Today, 1 in 4 unemployed people, or 1.8 million Americans, have been job searching for over half a year, which in most cases means they’ve also exhausted their unemployment insurance benefits. Benefits vary by state but on average replace less than 40% of a person’s previous income.

In today’s challenging hiring environment, stories like Turner’s are becoming more common.

The pool of job opportunities has been shrinking for a while: Job openings, hiring and voluntary quits (which signal workers’ confidence in being able to get a new job) have been sliding since the post-pandemic hiring boom of 2022.

Meanwhile, U.S. employers added just 181,000 jobs in all of 2025 (compared to 1.46 million in 2024), and businesses announced 108,435 layoffs in January.

These compounding factors mean those looking for a job are having a harder time landing one.

Businesses are no longer adding jobs and are slowly trimming their workforce to correct for over-hiring directly after the pandemic recession, says Nicole Bachaud, a labor economist at career site ZipRecruiter.

“The moment we’re in right now in labor is stagnation across the board for workers and for employers,” she says. While workers moved jobs (and even quit on their own) after other recessions like the 2008 financial crisis or Covid-19 pandemic, today they’re staying put.

“Unemployment is becoming more of a status quo versus a temporary position for workers who find themselves out of their job,” Bachaud says.

People who’ve been out of work long-term tell CNBC Make It the experience has chipped away at their confidence and made them question their career decisions. Some have taken on part-time work to pay for bills, while others have moved in with family.

They say they’re doing everything by the job-searching playbook, and even trying new methods, but still nothing seems to be working.

The tough hiring market is hitting certain demographics hard, including young professionals.

Chris Fong, 25, says he thought it wouldn’t be too hard to find a job when he was laid off from a startup in March 2025. He went to a top-tier university, did well at his previous jobs and lives in the Bay Area, a major job market.

But in the months since, Fong says he’s noticed a drop in entry-level jobs, and he’s often competing with candidates with more years of experience or higher graduate degrees than him.

Fong’s observations reflect a larger trend: Entry-level job postings were down by about 35% in mid-2025 compared to January 2023, according to research from Revelio Labs.

He’s also noticed the interview process getting longer as companies get “more picky,” he says. One recent company required eight rounds, and he still didn’t get the role.

Fong says he’s been living on savings and recently took up a part-time job working at a friend’s film rental gear company. It’s minimum wage but helps pay the bills. In January, he started documenting his unemployment journey on Instagram as a creative outlet and to regain control of his life and career story.

“I was tired of letting these recruiters and companies judge me based off my previous experience” on a resume, he says. “I was like, ‘I’m going to start something myself.’”

Some recent grads say changing immigration policies add stress to their search.

Sakshi Patel, 22, earned her master’s degree in financial management in May 2025. She’s currently volunteering at a nonprofit as a business analyst, but as an international student from India needs to find employment by the spring in order to stay in the U.S.

Now, she’s worried new policies, like the Trump administration’s revamping the H1-B visa program and adding a $100,000 application fee, will mean companies won’t be looking to hire international students who need visa sponsorship like her.

Patel says she’s trying everything to get hired: She lives in Boston but will relocate anywhere and is open to jobs not related to her major. She estimates she sends 30 to 40 tailored applications per week but rarely hears back.

“Long-term unemployment is still talked about a personal shortcoming when in reality it’s increasingly a structural issue,” she adds. “A lot of people are doing everything they’re supposed to be doing and still not getting work.”

Myriam Samake laments the lack of transparency in hiring today. When she landed her job as a multimedia news journalist in 2023, she’d contacted the news director on LinkedIn, set up two phone interviews, and had a gig lined up after grad school. The contract role ended in June 2025.

The 27-year-old in Sterling, Virginia, keeps an Excel spreadsheet with all of her applications in the last seven months, which is 150 roles and counting, including getting to final interviews for two roles but no offers. One company completely ghosted her, she says.

“It’s at that point where if I did get an offer, I would take it 100%,” she says. “It’s sad in a way, where I don’t know if we can be as picky anymore.”

In another sign of the challenging job-seeker market, more workers are making a lateral move or taking a pay cut for a new job, and the share of new hires who say they landed their “dream job” is down, according to ZipRecruiter data from the final months of 2025.

Samake says she doesn’t have high hopes to land hers. “I’m trying to look for places that have diversity. I am a Black woman, and that’s important to me,” she says. “Do I have to lower my expectations on that or the salary I want? Do I have to knock off $5,000, $10,000 and accept a lower salary just to get my foot in the door?”

Like many job seekers, Samake is frustrated with the state of applying to jobs online and never really knowing if the materials she pours over make it to a human reviewer. In mid-2025, the average job opening received 242 applications, or three times the average in 2017, according to Greenhouse data reported by Business Insider.

“It’s such a mental war,” Samake says.

Even experienced workers are having a hard time. Greg Roth, 52, remembers back in 2022 getting to final interviews with four companies and securing two competing offers. The D.C.-based executive communications professional joined Thumbtack, the home repair marketplace, in June 2022, but by December was laid off along with 14% of the company. 

He resumed looking for a full-time job in 2024 but says interviews are hard to come by. “In a short amount of time I’ve gone from feeling very in-demand to feeling completely ignored,” Roth says. “My skills haven’t changed, so either the market has changed, or there’s just less hiring.”

Both are likely, says Bachaud, the ZipRecruiter economist. Businesses have been scaling back on hiring due to a number of economic factors (like high interest rates and stubborn inflation), political challenges (like new tariff policies) and shifting business objectives (like investments in AI), Bachaud says.

And now, the supply of job seekers it outpacing demand in hiring: As of December, there were roughly 1 million more people looking for work than there were available jobs, according to BLS data analyzed by Indeed.

Andrew Bohan says one of the hardest parts of dealing with long-term unemployment isn’t just the constant rejection, but also not have a satisfying answer when people ask how the search is going.

Bohan lost his paralegal job in August 2024, exhausted his unemployment insurance benefits in March 2025, and in January 2026 moved from Chicago to Baltimore to live with family and keep bills low.

“I like to tell people being unemployed isn’t the problem; it’s keeping your head screwed on that’s the real problem,” he says. He says he can feel pressure to “prove” he’s being proactive about his circumstances among friends and family, though that’s hard to show without the results of interviews or offers.

Losing a job can have long-term impacts: Research has shown that losing a job is associated with declines in psychological and physical wellbeing, social withdrawal and long-term earning losses. Other studies have shown people who experience unemployment tend to get new jobs earning about 5% to 15% less than similar workers who did not lose their jobs.

Bohan, who’s recently applied to hourly service jobs to no avail, tries not to be too pessimistic about his situation. Otherwise it shows up in his interactions, from recruiters to friends and family. “You just have to focus on what’s in front of you and what you can do about it,” he says.

That can be as simple as getting a good night’s rest in order to be ready to apply to new jobs the next day, Bohan says: “I don’t like being idle. I want to get back into the game.”

Turner, the risk management worker in Kansas City, hopes long-term job seekers recognize that it takes a lot of self care and encouragement to not internalize the challenges of unemployment.

To those who do have jobs or know others struggling with the search, “I wish people knew this is not a choice,” Turner says. “It’s new to us. These are people who’ve provided for their families and themselves for their entire lives.”

Many job seekers, like Turner, have years of work experience and valuable skills they’ve earned over their careers, she says. Now they just need the opportunity to showcase that to an employer, she says: “We want to do the work.”

Want to improve your communication, confidence and success at work? Take CNBC’s new online course, Master Your Body Language To Boost Your Influence. Register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 20% off. Offer valid from Feb. 9 to Feb. 23, 2026. Terms apply.

In my decade of advising Fortune 500 companies as a behavioral researcher, I’ve found that one of the most effective ways to stop a manipulator is one key phrase: “That’s interesting. Tell me more.”

Manipulative people thrive on emotional reactions, confusion and ambiguity. This simple phrase helps neutralize that and change the power balance in the conversation.

With “that’s interesting,” you’re acknowledging what’s been said without validating or challenging the claim. You’re simply signaling: “I heard you, and I’m not rattled.” This removes the emotional hook that many manipulators rely on.

With “tell me more” (or other variations: “What makes you say that?” “What led you to that conclusion?”), you are cutting away any confusion and ambiguity, in favor of curiosity. “Why” questions can feel accusatory and often trigger defensiveness. Stick with the more open-toned “what” statements in order to keep the exchange from escalating further. 

If you find yourself in situations where you are being gaslit, guilt-tripped or coerced, here is how to best use this simple but subtly powerful phrase.

Gaslighting is when someone makes you question your memory or perception of reality.

• They might say: “I never said that. You’re remembering it wrong.”
• You can reply: “That’s interesting. Tell me more about how you remember it.” Then you could follow up with, “That’s not how I remember it.” Or, if applicable, “Let’s ask someone else who was there.”

This works because you’re not having to defend your memory in the moment. You invite the other person to clarify and provide detail. 

Gaslighting loses power when it has to stand on specifics. When someone has to explain their version clearly, inconsistencies often surface, and the psychological pressure shifts off you and back onto the facts.

We’ve all been there. Someone uses obligation or emotion to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do. 

• They might say: “After everything I’ve done for you, this is how you repay me?”
• You can reply: “That’s interesting. What makes you say that?” Then follow up with, “I appreciate what you’ve done, and this is still my decision.” Or, “I can care about you but still choose differently.”

This works because the focus shifts from your supposed guilt to their reasoning. When you ask them to articulate their logic and explain themselves, the emotional pressure and leverage often weakens. 

Subtle coercion shows up when a manipulator ties cooperation to your loyalty or care.

• They might say: “If you really cared, you’d agree with me.”
• You can reply: “That’s interesting. What makes you think that?” Then follow up with, “Caring doesn’t always mean we have to agree on everything,” or, “I can care and still see it differently.”

This detaches your values from their request. You’re not arguing about whether you care, you’re asking how they arrived at that conclusion. That creates psychological space and that’s when manipulation loses traction. 

Manipulators rely on emotional reactions. The moment you slow the exchange down and get curious, their leverage weakens. Calm questions protect your clarity and your boundaries, and shift conversations towards facts instead of feelings. 

In difficult conversations, composure is often more powerful than confrontation.

Shadé Zahrai is an award-winning peak performance educator, behavioral researcher, leadership strategist, and author of “Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, and Fuel Success.” Recognized as one of LinkedIn’s Top 50 Most Impactful People, she supports leaders at some of the world’s biggest brands, including Microsoft, Deloitte, Procter & Gamble, and JPMorgan.

Want to improve your communication, confidence and success at work? Take CNBC’s new online course, Master Your Body Language To Boost Your Influence. Register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 20% off. Offer valid from Feb. 9 to Feb. 23, 2026. Terms apply.

Habits shape how we work, how we manage stress, and how we relate to others. They determine whether we move closer to our goals, or repeat the same mistakes.

The same is true in our romantic relationships. Our satisfaction, stability and sense of connection are directly related to the behaviors we default to every day. 

As a psychologist who studies couples — and as a husband — I’ve seen how some of the most powerful relationship rituals also happen to be the simplest. Here are five habits that reliably show up in the happiest, most resilient relationships.

Humans are biologically wired to focus on the negative. This bias helped our ancestors survive by scanning for threats. But in modern relationships, it often leads to pessimism, criticism or chronic dissatisfaction.

Over time, a glass-half-empty mindset trains partners to look for problems rather than moments worth appreciating. That’s why what researchers call “capitalization,” or how partners respond when the other shares good news, is so important.

Studies show that when people respond with enthusiasm (i.e., asking questions, expressing interest, celebrating wins), couples report higher relationship satisfaction and stronger emotional bonds.

Feeling like your partner is “your person” matters a lot, but no one can realistically meet all of another person’s emotional, social and psychological needs.

Happy couples invest in friendships, family relationships and community connections, both together and independently. It prevents the relationship from becoming overburdened by unrealistic expectations.

When partners feel socially supported beyond the relationship, they’re less likely to feel resentful, trapped or emotionally depleted. The relationship becomes a place of choice, not obligation.

Variety is called the spice of life for a reason. Even strong relationships can begin to feel stale when the novelty disappears. This is especially true for couples who live together and work demanding jobs; the cycle of work, home, sleep and repeat can become monotonous over time.

This is why happy couples actively seek out what researchers call “third spaces,” or environments that exist outside of home (the first place) and work (the second place). It could be a favorite café, a climbing gym, a walking trail, a trivia night, or a class they take together.

The primary purpose of the third space is intentional exploration. When you regularly introduce new third spaces into your routine, you inject a sense of novelty and adventure without needing to travel or make any major life changes.

Consistency and support are foundational in healthy relationships. But over time, some couples begin to over-rely on one another — for emotional regulation, decision-making or daily logistics. This can slowly lead to codependence.

Happy couples counteract this by practicing independence. They maintain solo hobbies, spend time alone, or handle some responsibilities individually.

This independence is vital for maintaining a sense of self. More importantly, it enables something many couples underestimate the value of: the chance to miss one another.

Waking up next to the same person every day can create the illusion of deep familiarity. Many couples assume that physical closeness naturally begets emotional closeness, but this is not the case. People grow and change in little ways more often than we realize.

Happy couples always remain curious. They remind themselves that they’re both constantly evolving. By making time to ask questions, they also begin to notice all the new dreams, wants and needs in their partner. This protects them from one of the most common relationship pitfalls: distance despite proximity.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website Therapytips.org.

Want to improve your communication, confidence and success at work? Take CNBC’s new online course, Master Your Body Language To Boost Your Influence. Register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 20% off. Offer valid from Feb. 9 to Feb. 23, 2026. Terms apply.

Zen Stewart knows firsthand that career paths aren’t linear. Hers hasn’t been.

Today, the 34-year-old is an electrician in Raleigh, North Carolina — a construction wireman level four, to be exact. That would’ve surprised her younger self.

“I always liked fashion, design, architecture,” she tells CNBC Make It. “I never for once thought I’d be in the trades.”

After graduating high school, Stewart pursued several fields of study, including interior design, graphic design and business. None felt right.

“I knew in my core that something else was out there for me,” she says.

Stewart cycled through stints deejaying and working in retail, jewelry, sales and telehealth. She was laid off from that last job, scheduling routes for health workers, as new software replaced the need for human workers, she says.

“The idea of becoming an electrician didn’t even hit my mind until I started getting, like, laid off from jobs that I thought were good jobs,” says Stewart, who began researching what careers “aren’t going to be replaced by AI anytime soon.”

She landed on electrical work because “there were many ways to move up and many pathways that paid very well” and because it gave her the chance to work with her hands and still be creative.

Stewart was also drawn to the electrical trade over others because it’s physically more feasible for her as a woman, she says. “I figured I’d be able to handle that.”

When Stewart told her friends and family about wanting to become an electrician, “it was a shock,” she says. “It’s very different from the things I had been doing.”

“They were kind of used to me saying, ‘Oh, I want to be an interior designer. I want to be an architect. I want to be a DJ.’ So they were kind of like, ‘Oh, you know, well, here’s the new thing,’” she says.

Stewart’s mother nevertheless connected her with the electricians from a company who happened to be working on a job at her own workplace, a jewelry store, and the rest is history. “I literally went into their office that same day, filled out my application,” Stewart says. “That next week, I was working.”

In 2025, Stewart made roughly $43,000 from electrical work, in addition to some income from her social media. In the future, she hopes to multiply her income, be debt-free and own a home.

Stewart joined the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers in August 2025, citing benefits like good health insurance, tuition assistance and ease of finding work. She pays roughly $57 monthly in union dues.

Stewart mostly works eight-hour days, sometimes 10, on Monday through Friday, with a rare weekend or night for overtime. She usually begins her days with a 4:30 or 5 a.m. wakeup.

“It was a huge culture shock because I wasn’t used to being up at the crack of dawn,” she says. But “after I got into the rhythm of things, I really enjoyed it.”

One of the biggest challenges is “trying to navigate this male-dominated field as a woman,” she says. “Yes, I feel safe and secure, but a lot of the times, because I’m a woman, I feel like I have to prove myself more.” While Stewart says her coworkers mean well, she sometimes feels she has to remind them, “It’s okay, I’ve got it. Like, I can do it myself.”

Stewart is currently preparing for her exam to become a union apprentice. After a multi-year apprenticeship, electricians can typically get their journeyman’s license, which allows them to work across residential, industrial and commercial settings without the supervision that apprentices are typically subject to.

She wants to learn “how to actually run my own crew” and “be in charge of a whole site.” With a union journeyman’s license, she hopes to travel and work in different states, which she says can be lucrative.

Stewart currently does commercial electric work but eventually wants to segue into industrial electric work, which typically pays better. Later on, she hopes to transition into more of a desk role in the industry, say, in project management.

“I do think about the physical toll of this work,” she says. “I know after a certain age, I’m not going to want to be out in the field.”

Stewart doesn’t believe AI will replace skilled trades workers for “a very long time,” if ever. But she does “see it starting to creep in a little bit,” she says, noting she’s seen bots that can map where a door should go or where a wall should begin. “I definitely believe that AI is going to hold a place in construction,” she says.

On social media, Stewart offers a look into her job.

“I figured if I could shine my light through my perspective of how it is in my day-to-day, that that could get other people interested in the trade,” she says. To those considering it, she adds, “Don’t let lack of experience stop you.

As for her job, she loves that “every day is different” and that she gets to “see things from start to finish,” from a pile of dirt to a completed building, she says. “Then being able to flick on the lights and seeing everything come to life, I think that is so satisfying.”

Stewart hopes to one day build a house from scratch. “I still have that creative spirit,” she says. “That still is very alive and well in my life.”

Want to improve your communication, confidence and success at work? Take CNBC’s new online course, Master Your Body Language To Boost Your Influence. Register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 20% off. Offer valid from Feb. 9 to Feb. 23, 2026. Terms apply.