Couple makes $188,000 a year, but doesn’t ‘spend any money’: ‘We’re living too little of a life’

By some standards, Angela and Brian are fulfilling the American Dream.

The 52-year-olds were high school sweethearts, have been married for 28 years, raised four children and will soon be empty nesters. They have a net worth of $1.57 million, including nearly $900,000 invested.

But Angela isn’t satisfied with their life.

“I just worry that life is passing us by, and we can be doing and spending more on life,” she wrote in her application to appear on author and self-made millionaire Ramit Sethi’s “Money for Couples” podcast. The couple joined Sethi for a recent episode, seeking advice to work through differences in their feelings around money. Their last names were not used.

“We never eat out. Vacations are once a year. He always thinks we are poor. I need someone to tell him that we are OK money-wise,” Angela wrote.

Brian disagrees. “I think she feels that we’re at a comfortable place financially right now for our plan going forward,” he said on the podcast. “I don’t see that. I think we just need more. I wish I would’ve started [investing] much earlier.”

Here’s Sethi’s advice for them.

The ‘hidden cost’ of frugality

Brian and Angela earn $188,000 a year and have $294,000 in debt between their mortgage and car payments. Their fixed costs account for 72% of their monthly income.

Sethi generally recommends these costs not exceed 50% to 60% of your income, but Angela and Brian have been paying extra on their mortgage, so they have some wiggle room, he said.

However, Brian and Angela’s most frequent financial disagreements revolve around relatively small money decisions, like groceries and dining out.

Angela does the shopping and financial management, so she has a good idea of what they can afford, the couple told Sethi. But Brian constantly nitpicks her purchases. Angela wants to go out to dinner or drinks more frequently, but Brian almost always says no.

“We’re living too little of a life, is the problem,” Angela said. Sethi agreed, and said the shrinking “didn’t happen all at once. It happened $2 at a time.” That’s the “hidden cost of decades of frugality,” he added.

It’s wise to live within your means, no matter your income. But Brian’s frugality, including his resistance to spend on things that will make his wife happier, seems to come at the expense of their relationship, Sethi said.

“First, you [budget] for a reason. Then, you do it out of habit. And sometimes, you start to believe you don’t deserve anything else,” Sethi said. “It goes beyond saving money on coffee. And sometimes in situations like this, you start to realize how narrow your life has become.”

‘We just have to say yes’

While Angela would like to retire in the next five years, she fears Brian will feel like he needs to work “till he is 80,” she said.

Sethi walked the couple through retirement projections to show how their investments could change if they decide to put away more each month or retire later. But he warned that the financial logistics won’t matter so much if they can’t get on the same page about how they want to spend their time and money.

“The two of you have so many different options,” Sethi said. “But I don’t think any of it happens if you’re not actually connected, starting right now.”

In addition to showing them that they can afford the date nights and some of the immediate travel Angela would like to do, Sethi encouraged Brian to initiate planning nights out so he can get as excited about a date as Angela. And when Angela asks him to try a new restaurant or activity, “sometimes we just have to say yes and our feelings change later,” Sethi said.

Brian agreed he needs to “not give in, but compromise,” he said. “I think I need to be a better husband and compromise and rebuild the foundation of this relationship.”

Even if it’s small things like going out for coffee, planned activities together will help the couple start “getting those adventurous feelings back,” Sethi said.

They’re currently on track to have nearly $1.5 million in investments if they retire in five years and could see that value surpass $2 million if they wait 10 years. But either way, they are able to afford reasonable outings and activities, he told them.

“Whether it’s joining a group together or trying some new stuff, that brings you way closer,” Sethi said.

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Relationship expert’s 6 rules for couples: ‘If you do them all, you’ll be happier than most’

After 23 years of marriage and raising kids together, I’ve learned that being a great partner involves structure and intention.

I’ve walked the path myself, from being a breadwinning husband who did little at home to becoming the go-to household manager in a marriage with three kids and a powerhouse executive spouse. Through my platform, Modern Husbands, I also help couples build the systems they need to manage money and domestic responsibilities as a team.

Couples in the most successful relationships, including my wife and I, do six things for each other without question. If you do them all, you’ll be happier than most.

1. They divide tasks by skills, not gender

Men today face mixed signals: Be the breadwinner, but also do half the housework (and don’t expect any recognition). That confusion leads to imbalance at home.

In our household, we assign responsibilities based on skills, passions, and goals — not gender. I manage our finances because it’s my professional background. I also cook because I love it.

What matters is creating a system that reflects your family’s goals, not outdated roles.

2. They complement each other’s career goals

Throughout our marriage, we have taken turns assuming the roles of “gardener” and “rose.”

The gardener nourishes the environment at home so the rose can blossom in their career. The gardener is the domestic safety net who handles unplanned problems. That might look like being the “parent on call” for doctor appointments and emergencies.

Deliberately and thoughtfully sharing supportive roles in each other’s career dreams can prevent the silent resentment that arises when one partner repeatedly makes small, unplanned sacrifices for the sake of the other’s career and the household.

3. They have regular family ‘business meetings’

Just like a weekly business meeting, having regular check-ins with your partner can change everything.

Find a quiet time, when emotions are low and focus is high. Walk together, grab coffee, or sit down for 15 minutes to align on schedules, financial goals, and responsibilities.

If you want to take it further, plan annual retreats to reflect, set goals, and recommit to working as a team.

4. They establish systems and environments that make success easier

Success in a relationship shouldn’t rely on constant effort. Set up systems that make good decisions the default.

A few examples: Set joint savings goals, then automate transfers to a high-yield account at a different bank; delete spending apps from your phone; and turn off auto-fill on social media to reduce impulse buys.

I often recommend utilizing household management systems like Fair Play to assign clear roles, promote an equitable and efficient distribution of the mental load, and prevent miscommunication. The Fair Play system consists of three key elements:

Conception: Generating the idea or identifying the need for a task in the household or family system.
Planning: Mapping out the steps, resources, and timeline needed to complete the task effectively.
Execution: Carrying out the task from start to finish with full ownership and follow-through.

5. They talk about everyday life

We have financial and domestic labor systems for our home to give ourselves more time to spend with each other, to talk about everyday life. When we talk about our day, we put our phones away and we stick to the rule of not speaking about the business of our home.

The approach we like to use on our evening walks after dinner is the rose, thorn, and bud prompt. We each share the highlight of our day (rose), any issues or frustrations (thorn), and the time we spent investing in our future (bud).

6. They keep their promises

It takes trust to work together to manage money and the home. Take, for instance, a spending limit that is not honored or picking up a prescription from the grocery store. Failing to follow through can have real consequences.

Continually breaking the promise that comes with a family budget or doing chores can lead to resentment and even contempt.

The most important thing to remember is that great relationships aren’t built on luck. They’re built on shared goals and a willingness to evolve together.

Brian Page is the founder of Modern Husbands, a company dedicated to helping couples manage both financial and home responsibilities as a team. He holds a master’s degree in education and is certified as both an Accredited Financial Counselor® and a Fair Play Certified® domestic labor specialist.

Walmart exec shares the ultimate red flag she sees in employees: ‘Nobody’ will want to hire you

If you ask Donna Morris, there’s one behavior that’s the ultimate red flag an employee won’t get far in the workplace: when someone is a “Debbie Downer.”

Morris, 57, has been executive vice president and chief people officer at Walmart since 2020, helping shape the employee experience of 2.1 million workers since the onset of the Covid-19 pandemic. Prior to her current role, she spent 17 years at Adobe in a variety of leadership positions — and throughout her career, she’s learned a thing or two about red flags in the office.

“Nobody wants [to hire] a Debbie Downer,” Morris tells CNBC Make It, adding that this kind of person is “constantly negative. You know they’re going to show up [and] they’re going to bring the problem, never the solution. I like people who bring the problem and a suggestion for how they might resolve [it.]”

A “Debbie Downer” can also be someone who’s a naysayer, sharing negative opinions about others’ ideas and goals, or regularly being a hindrance to new projects and perspectives. This could make it difficult for them to make the connections needed to climb the corporate ladder, or for their bosses and managers to trust them with new projects.

If your co-worker has this character trait, they’re “only going to support you to a restricted limit,” Juliette Han, a Harvard-trained neuroscientist, told CNBC Make It in June 2023. “They need you to stay within a short leash, and might discourage you from meeting new people in the company or going after new projects if it doesn’t benefit them directly.”

That doesn’t mean you should practice toxic optimism, pretending everything is fine when your team is facing difficult circumstances, for example. It’s unnatural and unrealistic for someone to be happy all the time, Morris says. Similarly, a continuous negative spiral could be a signal that you’re in the wrong job or company, she adds.

How to actually get ahead

There are a couple attributes that separate the most highly successful employees to those who fall short, says Morris.

She thinks highly of workers who “deliver what you are expecting at the time that you’re expecting,” she says. “You’re better to deliver early than to deliver late, and you’re better to deliver more than less.”

“Another green flag is they’re open to opportunities, and they put their hand up to take on more,” she adds. “Or they bring a problem with the remedy or request help in a timely manner, as opposed to the house is on fire.”

You can show you have this kind of team player, self-starter attitude by offering help even when you’re not asked for it, like volunteering to mentor the new intern or pitching an idea that solves a problem your boss has been dealing with.

Demonstrating radical intellectual curiosity, like researching a new AI tool or a new software your competitors are using, then sharing your findings with your boss or manager, also goes a long way, according to Michael Ramlett, CEO of global data intelligence firm Morning Consult.

And if you’re willing to help your colleagues along the way, acting as a mentor and sharing the things you’ve learned, that’s the icing on the cake, Morris says.

“People who you see are actually helping others [are a] total green flag.”

The 10 most in-demand ZIP codes for homebuyers in 2025

The most in-demand real estate markets of 2025 are clustered in suburbs and smaller cities near major metros in the Northeast and Midwest.

That’s according to Realtor.com’s annual “Hottest ZIP Codes” list, which ranks the most in-demand areas based on listing views and how quickly homes have sold so far in 2025.

Beverly, Massachusetts, a coastal suburb 20 miles northeast of Boston, claims the No. 1 spot, with listings averaging 4.6 times more views per property than the national average and homes selling in a median of 16 days in June — more than a month faster than the national average.

By comparison, homes nationwide spent a median of 53 days on the market in June, according to Realtor.com. The company doesn’t disclose national averages for listing views.

Here are the 10 most in-demand ZIP codes in 2025, according to Realtor.com. For the rankings, listing prices and days on the market are based on the average of monthly medians from January to June 2025.

Why the hottest ZIP codes are mostly in the Northeast and the Midwest

As with previous years, the 2025 rankings for the hottest ZIP codes in the U.S. are dominated by the Northeast and Midwest, with Leominster, Massachusetts, and Ballwin, Missouri, both returning from last year’s list.

The geographic trend is largely driven by “buyers from high-cost metros” like Boston or New York City, who are “looking for relief without sacrificing access to jobs and amenities,” says Danielle Hale, chief economist at Realtor.com.

“Many of these neighborhoods also offer newer homes than the surrounding areas, highlighting the critical role of new and infill construction in meeting today’s buyer demand — even in a tough market,” she says.

While several ZIP codes had June median listing prices above the national median of $441,000 six of the 10 were more affordable than their surrounding metro areas, the report says. In Beverly, for example, the $719,000 median list price is significantly lower than the metro Boston median of $855,000, according to Realtor.com data, which uses June figures for ZIP-to-metro comparisons.

In some cases, listing prices exceed those in nearby major cities. For example, in Marlton, New Jersey, the median listing price in June was $530,000 — well above the $387,000 median in the adjacent Philadelphia metro area.

That’s likely driven by demand from higher-income buyers seeking more space and relative value in suburban areas, while staying within commuting distance of major job centers, the analysis suggests.

While the 10 hottest ZIP codes offer relative value, they also tend to attract wealthier buyers. Among the top 10 markets, median household income is nearly double the national figure, down payments are significantly larger and buyers skew older, with a median age of 56.

The 10 worst U.S. cities for jobs and earning potential, according to new report

While fast-growing cities like Raleigh and Nashville boast thriving job markets and high earnings, other major U.S. cities are struggling with low employment and declining wages.

Checkr ranked the 100 largest U.S. cities based on employment opportunity and earning potential, using data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the US Census Bureau, and the Bureau of Economic Analysis.

Each city’s employment opportunity score is based on its unemployment rate, labor force growth, labor force size and percentage of jobs open. The earning potential score is sourced from the city’s real per capita personal income, 10-year income growth and the percentage of households earning more than $200,000.

According to Sam Radbil, research and content strategist at Checkr, the lowest-ranked cities on the list face a variety of economic challenges, including slow job growth, overreliance on declining industries, low median wages and high unemployment and poverty rates.

Though some of these cities may offer a more affordable cost of living, they often suffer from “stagnant” employment and draw in few new businesses, he says.

These 10 U.S. cities scored the lowest for job opportunities and earning potential, according to Checkr.

Bakersfield, CA
Scranton, PA
McAllen, TX
Fresno, CA
Memphis, TN
Jackson, MS
Rochester, NY
Toledo, OH
Augusta, GA
Spokane, WA

Bakersfield, Scranton and McAllen had particularly low scores on Checkr’s employment opportunity metric, Radbil says.

One major factor is a lack of high-growth industries. Bakersfield and Fresno are largely reliant on the agriculture and energy sectors, Radbil says, while Rust Belt cities like Scranton and Rochester are still suffering from the effects of industrial and manufacturing declines.

According to Radbil, the above industries also tend to require on-site work, which limits opportunities for remote workers.

Even in cities with more employment opportunities, a better job market doesn’t guarantee higher earnings.

“While jobs are difficult to find, it’s even more difficult to get paid the national average,” he says.

Unemployment is another important concern: of the 10 cities listed by Checkr, only Rochester had an unemployment rate below the national average of 4.2%.

According to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the Bakersfield and Fresno metro areas have two of the highest unemployment rates in the country, at 9.6% and 8.5%, respectively.

McAllen and Jackson fare little better, with unemployment rates of 6.4% and 6.2% each.

Overall, these cities struggle to attract and retain talent, Radbil says.

“There’s not a ton of new jobs being generated, and that can always limit the opportunity for a city to grow,” he says.