Mornings are one of the most underestimated aspects of a relationship. For many working couples, they’re something to rush through on the way to the day ahead. Alarms go off, phones come out, coffee is gulped down, and before either partner is fully awake, they’re already headed into separate days.

But as a psychologist who studies couples, and as a husband, I’ve seen that the happiest couples use their mornings productively to make sure they leave the house knowing they’re on the same team.

Here’s what they do differently that most neglect.

Your partner shouldn’t be seen as an obstacle you have to get around in the morning. Even on busy days, happy couples make a point to acknowledge one another before shifting into work mode.

That often means making eye contact when saying “good morning” or sharing coffee or tea together without distractions. These moments may seem mundane, but research shows relationships thrive on small “bids” for attention that signal recognition and care.

Skipping them entirely can leave partners feeling emotionally invisible before the day has even begun.

Mornings aren’t ideal for heavy conversations. Cortisol levels are naturally elevated upon waking, meaning your body is already primed for stress. Trying to tackle nuance or conflict too early can activate that response even more.

The happiest couples understand this intuitively. Before diving into logistics or complaints, they take a moment to sync: sitting quietly together, sharing coffee on the couch, or simply standing side by side while doing their morning routines.

Even a few moments of silent togetherness can regulate the nervous system and make the day feel more manageable.

Rather than full emotional check-ins, happy couples keep morning communication light, but still honest. Each partner shares one sentiment regarding their current feelings:

• “I’m feeling a bit anxious about today.”
• “I’m excited but exhausted.”
• “I’m not fully awake yet.”

They’re not revolutionary, but they’re necessary for giving context to moods and behavior the other will see later on. It’s much easier to understand your partner’s short temper when you remember that they had a stressful meeting that day.

This could be five minutes of cuddles before getting up, walking the dogs together or cooking breakfast while listening to their song. The point is for it to be simple enough for you to repeat daily without struggle.

Having habits like these — routines or rituals that you can call “our thing” — can serve as surprisingly strong reaffirmations of your identity as a couple.

In many relationships, physical affection in the morning gets reduced to a rushed goodbye kiss on the cheek, if that. But happier couples don’t budge on this. They use touch intentionally to ground themselves.

Spooning, long hugs, proper kisses or simply just leaning into each other for a moment before leaving — regardless of what suits you, any kind of physical contact like this can activate oxytocin and calm the nervous system, which helps both partners feel steadier as they separate.

Mornings can get messy if one partner is expected to bear the brunt of the household’s mental or physical load.

Happy couples reduce this by treating mornings as a shared operation. If there are tasks that have to get done before work, like prepping lunch, feeding pets, or getting the kids ready, they divide them up mindfully and adjust when one partner is struggling. 

It doesn’t have to look like perfect fairness every day. Just ensuring that no one’s plate is too full goes a long way in protecting goodwill.

Before parting ways, the happiest couples will always offer at least one small yet specific gesture of support:

• “Good luck with your presentation today.”
• “You’ve got this.”
• “Text me if you need a pep talk.”

While they won’t change the day’s demands, they can make the demands feel easier to manage. More importantly, they show your partner that you’re emotionally attuned to the things that matter to them, even if you’re physically present.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

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A majority, 83% of parents think U.S. kids’ mental health is getting worse, according to the National Poll on Children’s Health by the C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital at the University of Michigan.

And many blame screens: three-quarters of respondents identify both social media and general device use as major problems for U.S. youth, while 66% specifically point to internet safety.

Health and science journalist Catherine Price, who has a 10-year-old daughter herself, agrees with her fellow parents. Every minute kids are spending on screens is a minute they’re not “developing real world skills or real world relationships or having real world experiences,” she says.

Price recently teamed up with “The Anxious Generation” author Jonathan Haidt to write a book about screens and social media use for tweens. It’s called “The Amazing Generation: Your Guide to Fun and Freedom in a Screen-Filled World.” And she has a few suggestions for parents who want to quell their kids’ device use.

Here’s what she recommends.

1. Model the kind of habits you want your kids to exhibit

“It’ll be easier to limit your kids’ screentime if they see you trying to work on your own habits, too,” price says.

Experts agree modeling the behavior you want your kids to exhibit is key in helping to mold them.

“Think about the person you want your child to become,” writer and educator Theo Wolf wrote in a recent article for CNBC Make It. “Ask yourself: Am I demonstrating those traits in front of them? Is there anything I’m doing that opposes the values I want to pass on?”

You can even ask your kids to hold you accountable for looking at your phone or computer too much.  

2. Invest in some shared family phones

Instead of giving your kids their own phone, have a few shared family phones.

Price suggests using a landline to help children develop conversational skills, encouraging them to use the phone to check in with grandparents or chat with friends.

You can also have a family flip phone for after school activities or if they’re going to a friend’s house. “They take it, they use it, they give it back,” she says.

3. Have them pay for their own smartphone

Price is a proponent of putting off getting your kids a smartphone until they’re at least 16, a guideline psychologist Jean Twenge recommends, too.

If you’re hoping to put it off even longer, though, you can tell them they have to pay for their smartphone themselves. If they know they’re financially responsible for it, “they probably won’t get one until they’re 25,” she says.

Plus, it could help “teach a lot of important lessons about working hard toward a goal,” she says.

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Manipulation doesn’t always look dramatic or explosive. It could be a loaded comment in a meeting, a subtle guilt trip in an email, or a casual remark that leaves you questioning yourself long after the conversation ends.

What makes manipulators effective is their ability to influence how you feel. Research on social influence and coercive control shows that manipulators aim for emotional impact: the drop in your confidence, the spike in your anxiety, the moment you start defending instead of deciding.

In my decade advising Fortune 500 companies as a behavioral researcher, I’ve seen this pattern at every level: the person who controls the emotional tone often controls the direction of the interaction.

The most powerful response to a manipulator isn’t to confront them. This often backfires, triggering gaslighting, denial, or escalation. Here’s a simple strategy I teach to help you “CUT” through manipulation.

When your nervous system spikes, your thinking narrows and your behavior becomes easier to steer. Studies on emotional regulation show that staying physiologically calm preserves decision quality under pressure. Slow your breath. Lower your voice. Buy yourself a few seconds before responding.

Instead of reacting with:

• Snapping or raising your voice: “Why are you saying that? That’s not true!”
• Over-explaining or defending yourself: “Actually, I did do [X], and here’s why…”
• Appeasing or over-committing when it’s unreasonable: “Okay, I’ll handle it.”
• Getting defensive or anxious: internal panic, self-doubt, or visible agitation.

Try responding with:

• Neutral acknowledgment: “Noted.”
• Redirect to facts or agenda: “Let’s focus on the next step.”
• Brief, calm clarification if necessary: “I understood it differently; here’s what I did.”
• Pause and buy time: a slow breath, or a moment to compose your response before engaging.

By staying neutral in your responses, you remove the emotional fuel that manipulators rely on and shift the interaction back into your control.

Even when your heart is racing, how you show up matters. A relaxed posture, relaxed facial expression, and steady verbal pace signal that there’s nothing to hook into.

Research on status dynamics and dominance signaling shows that the least reactive person is often seen as the most powerful. Staying unfazed tells the manipulator: Your tactics aren’t working on me.

This is where most people slip. They explain, defend, justify, and try to be understood. But feeding the emotional layer is exactly what keeps manipulation alive. Instead, refocus on facts, boundaries, or the task at hand. Pay attention only to what you can control.

Together, these three moves cut off the oxygen from the interaction. You’re no longer a lever that can be pulled. Over time, that shifts the power in your favor.

The most powerful response is far more destabilizing to the manipulator’s strategy: emotional non-cooperation. Calmly, neutrally, and consistently refusing to feed the emotional leverage, you take away the fuel that sustains their behavior. When emotional leverage disappears, the manipulation often stops.

Shadé Zahrai is an award-winning peak performance educator, behavioral researcher, leadership strategist, and author of “Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence, and Fuel Success.” Recognized as one of LinkedIn’s Top 50 Most Impactful People, she supports leaders at some of the world’s biggest brands, including Microsoft, Deloitte, Procter & Gamble, and JPMorgan.

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Farcia Harvey considers herself to be pretty well traveled. The 27-year-old has crossed off New York City, New Orleans for Mardi Gras, Barcelona and Madrid from her travel bucket list. But one of her favorite trips was her 2024 birthday trip to Cincinnati, of all places.

“I think about that trip to Cincinnati genuinely all of the time,” Harvey tells CNBC Make It, saying she wanted somewhere not too far from her home at the time in Nashville, but not a staycation either. “It’s one of the best memories I have for my birthday, and it’s something that to this day, me and my friends still talk about.”

Some of her highlights were hitting the Somerset outdoor bar, Brown Bear Bakery, the Riverfront’s walking paths and the city’s free streetcar downtown — simpler and slower luxuries that bigger cities may not offer.

Her social media posts hyping Cincinnati and under-the-radar cities last summer went viral with over 1 million views on Instagram and Tiktok, prompting thousands of comments shouting out other secondary cities worth a visit.

Harvey’s love of hidden gem travel is part of a bigger trend where vacationers are seeking slower, more enriching trips away from the busyness of big-city destinations.

“A lot of people truly believe in order to be well traveled, they have to see Europe, they have to see Africa, all of these other places,” Harvey says. That may be true for some, but not all, she says: “You can have a great time in the middle of nowhere.” 

Farm-stay vacations, in particular, are seeing a boom: 84% of travelers said they’re interested in staying on or near a farm, according to a recent report from Expedia, Hotels.com and Vrbo. Interest in rural escapes has boomed for Gen Z travelers over the past two years, with a 300% spike year-over-year in guest reviews mentioning farms on Vrbo.

Even life milestone celebrations are getting the slow travel treatment. Aricka Giglia, 28, gathered 10 of her best girlfriends for her bachelorette at a farm outside Dallas last spring.

The LA resident wanted her bachelorette to feel more like a wellness retreat than a typical party weekend. But finding the right venue was the challenge.

She ended up booking a three-night stay at Lavender Hill Farmhouse, drawn to its features of a chicken coop, fields with cows and horses, a pond with paddle boats, an outdoor grill where they hosted a hibachi dinner, and a big kitchen where they invited a private chef for another.

“I don’t think any of us have traveled intentionally to be with nature,” Giglia says. “If it’s nature, it’s tropical, but it’s never a farm.”

“It’s this slow travel movement. People just want a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life,” says Melanie Fish, travel expert for Expedia, Hotels.com, and Vrbo. “Specifically they’re looking for access to nature walks, hiking, but then, very specific to farm stays, they want a chance to interact with farm animals.”

The unconventional stay was also affordable, Giglia says, estimating her guests paid about $250 each for the weekend — a steal compared to her husband’s bachelor party in Los Cabos, Mexico, that ran about $800 per head.

Group trips at under-the-radar cities have become a big part of Mackenzie Newcomb’s business running the Bad Bitch Book Club from New York City.

The club, started in 2018, launched its annual summer camp trip for readers to meet in-person in July 2021. About 28 people showed up at the Northern Outdoors campgrounds in Forks, Maine.

It was such a hit that the club now hosts reading trips across the U.S. once a month that cost between $900 to $1,500 for basic room packages and a weekend of meals and activities. Last year, BBBC hosted three weeks of summer camp; 400 people applied for 200 spots, Newcomb, 32, says.

Demand is likely to grow: 91% of travelers saying they’re interested in taking a trip centered around reading, relaxation and quality time, according to Expedia’s travel trends report. Mentions of reading-related terms in Vrbo guest reviews has surged 285% year-over-year, and searches for “book retreats” and “book club retreat ideas” are up on Pinterest.

“I’m going to credit Booktok with the dramatic rise in what Vrbo is calling ‘readaways,’” says Fish, the travel expert. “Groups are headed to these serene destinations, coastal homes, country retreats, or just cozy, multi-bedroom getaways with a porch swing that they’re dying to curl up in, and their goal is to read.”

When choosing the right location for a reading retreat, splashier cities aren’t always the best move, Newcomb says.

Newcomb’s least favorite retreats were in Nashville and New Orleans, great cities in their own right, but not good for a reading trip “because it’s all about exploring and not at all about relaxing,” she says. “There has to be a strong relaxation element and a great view. When I’m looking for homes, I tend to look for places that people would be just as happy just being in that rental house the entire weekend reading as they would going out and exploring the area.”

To that end, some of her favorite lit trips have taken place in Santa Fe, New Mexico; Chattanooga, Tennessee; Savannah, Georgia; Door County, Wisconsin; Holland, Michigan; The Berkshires in Massachusetts; and Mount Snow, Vermont.

Hocking Hills, Ohio, about an hour south of Columbus, is “a strong contender for a future trip,” Newcomb says, adding that members have been “vouching very strongly” for a book club retreat there for years. “And of course I’m like, ‘I don’t want to go to Ohio,’ but they insist that it’s going to be the place to go.”

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Gone are the days of spending hours searching for the answer to a question, having to leave the house to meet someone new or even getting up to change the temperature in your home.

But technologically enabled convenience comes at a cost, says Stanford psychiatrist Anna Lembke: Now, most people tend to dislike activities that require effort even more than they used to. Working out or learning a new skill from scratch can feel more like a chore than something to enjoy. But you can train your brain to do — and like — these types of challenges, Lembke said on Monday’s episode of the “Diary Of A CEO” podcast.

Her advice: Make a granular and intentional plan for tackling your activity before you actually do it.

“If we wait till that moment to decide whether or not to do something that’s hard, we almost always choose not to do it,” said Lembke, author of “Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence,” a New York Times bestseller. “But if we make a plan in advance, let’s say the day before that, ‘Tomorrow I’m going to get up at this time. I’m going to get my stuff together and I’m going to go to the gym,’ we’re much more likely to engage in that activity.”

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You likely already do this in other aspects of your life, like planning dinner for the week ahead of time or picking out your work clothes the night before, so you don’t run late. Preparation helps us “put the brakes on our short-term desires and project ourselves into the future to achieve our long-term desires,” Lembke said.

Having an accountability buddy can help: People tend to accomplish more when they have a partner, or group of partners, on a similar path. In couples, if one partner makes a healthier change, the other is likely to make the same positive change, found a 2015 study from University College London researchers. 

Connecting friendship or socialization to your goals, like attending a workout class or a study group, “makes it much easier to do these difficult things,” said Lembke.

Financial psychologist Charles Chaffin, co-founder of the Financial Psychology Institute and a professor at Iowa State University, agrees with the buddy system approach, he told CNBC Make It on Dec. 23.

“Dry January is a great example,” Chaffin said. “If you do dry January with the people you go out drinking with, your chances of actually being successful go way up because you’re going through that with someone. You’re policing each other. You’re encouraging each other. Those are all really, really good things.”

The path to achieving the hard thing — whatever that may be for you — likely won’t be enjoyable at first, Lembke noted. She used the metaphor of a balance scale, with pleasure on one side and pain on the other side. By getting up early and dedicating two hours to an uninterrupted study session, for example, you’re intentionally adding weight to the “pain” side of your scale. 

A quick social media break would add some temporary weight to the “pleasure” side of the scale, but by sticking with your goal and pushing past the discomfort, you’ll get a longer-lasting boost of dopamine, she said.

If you slip up on your journey to meeting a goal, don’t be too hard on yourself, Lembke added. At the beginning of the year, people tend to set concrete, unattainable goals and then feel a lot of shame when they don’t strictly adhere to them.

Maybe you didn’t completely cut out sugar like you’d hoped, for example, but at least you ate more whole foods and upped your water intake. Progress is still progress, even if it isn’t perfect.

“For some, a better approach is sort of self-compassion and a goal of moderation,” said Lembke.

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