CNBC make it 2026-01-14 16:00:37


Harvard psychologist: 5 signs you’re overparenting your kids—and how to really raise resilient children

It’s a familiar scene: Your kid is stuck on a problem or upset about a situation. Before they’ve even finished explaining, you swoop in with solutions. That’s what good parents do, right?

But when rescuing becomes routine, it undermines the skills kids need to build confidence and resilience. As a clinical psychologist who works with anxious children, teens and parents, and as a parent myself, I know how quickly loving support can turn into overparenting. 

Overparenting blends overinvolvement with overprotection, repeatedly signaling to kids that the world is unsafe and that they can’t handle challenges without adult support. This can chip away at confidence, deepening dependence and amplifying anxiety.

Here are five signs you might be overparenting, and what kids actually need in order to grow and thrive.

1. You solve your child’s problems before they even have a chance to try 

When kids struggle, many parents instinctively step in. This might look like negotiating reduced courseloads, intervening with a friend’s parents, or rearranging schedules to minimize discomfort. 

But kids can’t become confident problem-solvers unless they are given the chance to try, stumble and succeed on their own.

What to do: Pause before offering solutions. Then ask, “What do you think you could try?” This encourages independent thinking and teaches kids that their ideas matter.

2. You try to shield your child from negative feelings

Many parents worry that experiencing anxiety, sadness or frustration is somehow harmful. This can drive constant reassurance, distraction or attempts to “fix” every upset: “Don’t be sad, let’s do something fun!”

But painful feelings are a natural part of life, and learning to cope with them is essential to healthy development.

What to do: Normalize and name the emotion, then express confidence in your kid’s ability to cope with painful feelings: “It makes sense that you feel frustrated, and I know you can handle it.”

3. You expect your child to be fragile, rather than capable

One subtle overparenting pattern is adjusting expectations based on what we fear our child can’t handle, rather than what they’re capable of learning to manage. 

We lower the bar to prevent upset — excusing kids from practice, lessons or other routines because it might be tiring or stressful — and filter all feedback to buffer hurt feelings. This helps our kid feel better in the moment, but expecting fragility can inadvertently teach children to see themselves as fragile.

What to do: Ask yourself whether your expectations fit your child’s age and abilities. Are the challenges they face truly risky, or just uncomfortable? Offer support that helps them grow, rather than shielding them from every difficulty.

4. You place all the importance on the result, rather than the value of the learning process

Overparenting often emphasizes results — preventing mistakes, smoothing feelings or guaranteeing success — rather than teaching kids how to navigate setbacks. 

This might look like negotiating group assignments with a teacher to ensure your kid gets the “perfect” project partners, arguing with a coach over a disappointing decision, or micromanaging every step in a craft to make sure it’s done correctly. But true growth comes when expectations falter and kids learn to adapt.

What to do: Let mistakes happen. Resist the urge to retrieve forgotten homework, argue a bad grade or buy a treat after a disappointing performance. Support your child as they problem-solve, adapt and learn from the process.

5. Your own anxiety becomes what drives you, not their growth

Many overparenting behaviors stem from adult discomfort and fears about failure, judgment or long-term consequences. 

This could look like calling a friend’s parents after a minor disagreement out of concern about social fallout, or hovering over homework because you are anxious about your kid’s performance. While well-intentioned, it’s easy for kids to interpret this behavior as a lack of parental confidence in them, planting seeds of doubt in their own abilities.

What to do: Pause and reflect: “Is this about their safety, or my discomfort with seeing them struggle?” Model how to tolerate discomfort when there’s no immediate solution.

Overparenting often stems from love and protection, yet shielding kids from every challenge can heighten the anxiety we hope to prevent. Swing too far the other way, and neglect breeds the same result.

The key is balance: guide without controlling, support without rescuing, coach while trusting. Resilience develops when kids feel secure enough to try and free enough to learn on their own.

Dr. Meredith Elkins is a clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders in children and parents. She is faculty at Harvard Medical School, co-director of the McLean Anxiety Mastery Program at McLean Hospital and is the author of ”Parenting Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle of Worry and Raising Resilient Kids.”

Want to get ahead at work with AI? Sign up for CNBC’s new online course, Beyond the Basics: How to Use AI to Supercharge Your Work. Learn advanced AI skills like building custom GPTs and using AI agents to boost your productivity today. Use coupon code EARLYBIRD for 25% off. Offer valid from Jan. 5 to Jan. 19, 2026. Terms apply.

These ‘unspoken rules’ are the real secrets to success, says Harvard career advisor: ‘They aren’t taught in school’

When Gorick Ng was starting out, he didn’t know the rules. He didn’t even know they existed. But as he soon found out, there are a whole slew of “unspoken rules” that are essential to achieving career success.

“My mother used to say that getting ahead is all about hard work,” Ng writes in “The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right.” It turns out, he adds, that “my mother was wrong.” 

Before Ng was a bestselling author and career advisor at Harvard, he was the son of a single mother and a first-generation college student. He went to Harvard for both undergrad and business school, and worked at Boston Consulting Group and Credit Suisse. 

He got where he did by learning these unspoken rules, or “certain ways of doing things that managers expect but don’t explain and that top performers do but don’t realize,” he writes. “They aren’t taught in school. Instead, they are passed down from parent to child and from mentor to mentee, making for an unlevel playing field between insiders and outsiders.”

Ng started off as “one of the outsiders,” he writes, but now he’s making sure you don’t have to.

CNBC Make It readers tend to be ambitious professionals who want to be happier, smarter, and more successful in their careers and lives. That’s why we chose “The Unspoken Rules” as our January book club pick. 

In the book, Ng lays out rules including, among others:

  • Know when to follow, bend, or reject
  • Do your homework and show it
  • Understand the end goal and work backward
  • Look for patterns
  • Understand hierarchies, dynamics, and expectations

He tells readers what they are and then dives deeper to explain how you can apply them in your own career. His goal, as he puts it, is to “pull back the curtain on the secrets of high performers that take years to figure out alone.”

Ready to dive in? Start reading, request to join our LinkedIn group, and come chat with us and Ng on Wednesday, January 28, at 10 a.m. ET, at our next CNBC Make It Book Club discussion. 

Any questions for the author? Drop them in the comments of this LinkedIn post (you’ll need to join our private group first, which you can do here). Or email them to us in advance at askmakeit@cnbc.com, using the subject line “Question for Gorick Ng.”

Hoping to get ahead? Our February pick is “New Happy: Getting Happiness Right in a World That’s Got It Wrong” by Stephanie Harrison.

Have suggestions for future picks? Send them to us at askmakeit@cnbc.com, using the subject line “Make It book club suggestion.”

Uber CEO: ‘If you think you can plan 5 years into the future, you’re kidding yourself’—what to do instead

In the age of artificial intelligence and the race to popularize autonomous vehicles, Uber CEO Dara Khosrowshahi isn’t betting on long-term plans, he said in an interview for an episode of CNBC’s “Leaders Playbook,” set to air on Wednesday.

“If you think you’re planning five years into the future, you’re kidding yourself,” Khosrowshahi said. All you can do is be honest with yourself, your team and “prepare yourself for the probabilities.”

Khosrowshahi considers autonomous vehicles in more cities to be a probability for his company at some point, he said. Uber has inked corporate partnerships with companies like Waymo to work toward making self-driving cars more accessible to consumers, he added.

But nobody knows exactly how long it’ll take for autonomous vehicles to become any kind of norm — so instead of spending most of his time trying to plan for a specific timeline, Khosrowshahi spends “60 to 70%” of his days prioritizing “the near term” future, he said.

For Khosrowshahi, that means spending a majority of his time focusing on smaller day-to-day details or objectives that are six months out, he said. “We’re constantly, as a company, grinding to get better and better in the little details of everything that we do,” said Khosrowshahi. “I get to have fun with the other 30% of my time thinking about the long term.”

DON’T MISS: How to build custom GPTs and use AI agents

Focusing most of your time on short-term goals is generally seen as a good practice, psychologists and psychotherapists say — whether you’re running a large company or otherwise. Checking off daily or weekly goals is more motivating and less likely to be derailed by other commitments, financial psychologist Charles Chaffin told CNBC Make It in on Dec. 23.

“Even a one-year time horizon is too far in the distance,” Chaffin said. “You can have a one-year time horizon, but you need to have a bunch of intermediate [targets] in between.”

Setting and achieving short-term goals can also help clarify what’s actually in your control, a mindset that can help your long-term growth, psychotherapist Amy Morin wrote on Jan. 14. For example, Morin likes to ask herself, “What did I do to grow mentally stronger today?” she wrote.

“There’s a lot you can’t control in life — other people’s actions, unexpected setbacks, the weather,” wrote Morin. “This question reminds you to focus instead on the actions you took. Rather than ruminating about what went wrong, you’re celebrating what you did right. This shifts your energy toward solutions and empowers you to keep improving.”

For Khosrowshahi’s part, he may not be able to predict the next decade — but he can try to prepare his team to be ready for challenges, he said.

“I am good at developing people, and part of that development is getting to know them, listening then throwing challenges in front of them and seeing how they do,” Khosrowshahi said. “You want to save them if they’re struggling, but unless you’re challenging your executives, they’re never going to develop.”

Watch Uber’s Dara Khosrowshahi on CNBC’s ”Leaders Playbook″ on Wednesday, Jan. 14 at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT. All new episodes Wednesdays.

Want to get ahead at work with AI? Sign up for CNBC’s new online course, Beyond the Basics: How to Use AI to Supercharge Your Work. Learn advanced AI skills like building custom GPTs and using AI agents to boost your productivity today. Use coupon code EARLYBIRD for 25% off. Offer valid from Jan. 5 to Jan. 19, 2026. Terms apply.

Take control of your money with CNBC Select

CNBC Select is editorially independent and may earn a commission from affiliate partners on links.

  • Interest in credit cards is expected to heat up in 2026. What that means for cardholders
  • Holiday debt hangover? 6 steps to recover fast in the new year
  • The best personal loans for same-day funding
  • The best credit cards for travel rewards, cash back, 0% APR and more

This is the No. 1 best-paying job that doesn’t require a college degree, says new report

Not everyone can or wants to go to college, but there are other ways to land a job that pays well, has career longevity and provides workers with a sense of satisfaction in what they do.

Aircraft mechanics were named the No. 1 high-paying job that you can get without a college degree, according to a new report from U.S. News.

The ranking uses U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics data to identify jobs with the highest earning potential that don’t require going to college, but may call for specialized training or certifications.

These are the 10 highest-paying jobs that people can get without a college degree, according to U.S. News:

1. Aircraft mechanic

  • Median salary: $78,680
  • Education required: Postsecondary non-degree
  • Upward mobility: Average
  • Stress level: High
  • Flexibility: Low

2. Patrol officer

  • Median salary: $76,290
  • Education required: High school
  • Upward mobility: Average
  • Stress level: Above average
  • Flexibility: Low

3. Executive assistant

  • Median salary: $74,260
  • Education required: High school
  • Upward mobility: Average
  • Stress level: Low
  • Flexibility: High

4. Construction and building inspector

  • Median salary: $72,120
  • Education required: High school
  • Upward mobility: Below average
  • Stress level: Average
  • Flexibility: Low

5. Flight attendant

  • Median salary: $67,130
  • Education required: High school
  • Upward mobility: High
  • Stress level: Average
  • Flexibility: Low

6. Sales representative

  • Median salary: $66,780
  • Education required: High school
  • Upward mobility: Low
  • Stress level: Below average
  • Flexibility: High

7. Sound engineering technician

  • Median salary: $66,430
  • Education required: Postsecondary non-degree
  • Upward mobility: Below average
  • Stress level: Low
  • Flexibility: Above average

8. Plumber

  • Median salary: $62,970
  • Education required: High school
  • Upward mobility: Below average
  • Stress level: Average
  • Flexibility: Low

9. Surgical technologist

  • Median salary: $62,830
  • Education required: Postsecondary non-degree
  • Upward mobility: Average
  • Stress level: Above average
  • Flexibility: Below average

10. Structural iron and steelworker

  • Median salary: $62,700
  • Education required: High school
  • Upward mobility: Below average
  • Stress level: Average
  • Flexibility: Low

Many of the top-paying jobs that don’t require a degree fall in the trades or in specialized roles where human interaction is key. These jobs may provide people a sense of job security as some white-collar jobs are impacted by businesses adopting AI — a growing consideration among Gen Zers debating whether it’s worth it to go to college to jumpstart their careers.

In a separate ranking of the top 100 jobs from U.S. News, nurse practitioners were named the No. 1 best job overall for the third year in a row due to the continuous need for health-care workers. Financial managers were recognized as the second-best job, followed by IT managers.

These jobs were recognized for having the greatest hiring demand, per BLS data, and the ranking also scores roles based on five factors: future prospects over the next decade, wage potential, employment (including unemployment and on-the-job training), job safety and stability, and work-life balance (which covers full-time hours, fast-paced work and remote work availability).

Want to get ahead at work with AI? Sign up for CNBC’s new online course, Beyond the Basics: How to Use AI to Supercharge Your Work. Learn advanced AI skills like building custom GPTs and using AI agents to boost your productivity today. Use coupon code EARLYBIRD for 25% off. Offer valid from Jan. 5 to Jan. 19, 2026. Terms apply.

Take control of your money with CNBC Select

CNBC Select is editorially independent and may earn a commission from affiliate partners on links.

  • Interest in credit cards is expected to heat up in 2026. What that means for cardholders
  • Holiday debt hangover? 6 steps to recover fast in the new year
  • The best personal loans for same-day funding
  • The best credit cards for travel rewards, cash back, 0% APR and more

I’m a psychologist who studies couples: People in the happiest relationships do 7 things every morning

Mornings are one of the most underestimated aspects of a relationship. For many working couples, they’re something to rush through on the way to the day ahead. Alarms go off, phones come out, coffee is gulped down, and before either partner is fully awake, they’re already headed into separate days.

But as a psychologist who studies couples, and as a husband, I’ve seen that the happiest couples use their mornings productively to make sure they leave the house knowing they’re on the same team.

Here’s what they do differently that most neglect.

1. They resist the urge to rush past each other

Your partner shouldn’t be seen as an obstacle you have to get around in the morning. Even on busy days, happy couples make a point to acknowledge one another before shifting into work mode.

That often means making eye contact when saying “good morning” or sharing coffee or tea together without distractions. These moments may seem mundane, but research shows relationships thrive on small “bids” for attention that signal recognition and care.

Skipping them entirely can leave partners feeling emotionally invisible before the day has even begun.

2. They sync before they speak

Mornings aren’t ideal for heavy conversations. Cortisol levels are naturally elevated upon waking, meaning your body is already primed for stress. Trying to tackle nuance or conflict too early can activate that response even more.

The happiest couples understand this intuitively. Before diving into logistics or complaints, they take a moment to sync: sitting quietly together, sharing coffee on the couch, or simply standing side by side while doing their morning routines.

Even a few moments of silent togetherness can regulate the nervous system and make the day feel more manageable.

3. They exchange one honest sentence about how they’re feeling

Rather than full emotional check-ins, happy couples keep morning communication light, but still honest. Each partner shares one sentiment regarding their current feelings:

  • “I’m feeling a bit anxious about today.”
  • “I’m excited but exhausted.”
  • “I’m not fully awake yet.”

They’re not revolutionary, but they’re necessary for giving context to moods and behavior the other will see later on. It’s much easier to understand your partner’s short temper when you remember that they had a stressful meeting that day.

4. They keep one small morning ritual sacred

This could be five minutes of cuddles before getting up, walking the dogs together or cooking breakfast while listening to their song. The point is for it to be simple enough for you to repeat daily without struggle.

Having habits like these — routines or rituals that you can call “our thing” — can serve as surprisingly strong reaffirmations of your identity as a couple.

5. They use touch to regulate, not just to say goodbye

In many relationships, physical affection in the morning gets reduced to a rushed goodbye kiss on the cheek, if that. But happier couples don’t budge on this. They use touch intentionally to ground themselves.

Spooning, long hugs, proper kisses or simply just leaning into each other for a moment before leaving — regardless of what suits you, any kind of physical contact like this can activate oxytocin and calm the nervous system, which helps both partners feel steadier as they separate.

6. They treat mornings as a shared system, not a solo sprint

Mornings can get messy if one partner is expected to bear the brunt of the household’s mental or physical load.

Happy couples reduce this by treating mornings as a shared operation. If there are tasks that have to get done before work, like prepping lunch, feeding pets, or getting the kids ready, they divide them up mindfully and adjust when one partner is struggling. 

It doesn’t have to look like perfect fairness every day. Just ensuring that no one’s plate is too full goes a long way in protecting goodwill.

7. They send each other into the day feeling supported

Before parting ways, the happiest couples will always offer at least one small yet specific gesture of support:

  • “Good luck with your presentation today.”
  • “You’ve got this.”
  • “Text me if you need a pep talk.”

While they won’t change the day’s demands, they can make the demands feel easier to manage. More importantly, they show your partner that you’re emotionally attuned to the things that matter to them, even if you’re physically present.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

Want to get ahead at work with AI? Sign up for CNBC’s new online course, Beyond the Basics: How to Use AI to Supercharge Your Work. Learn advanced AI skills like building custom GPTs and using AI agents to boost your productivity today. Use coupon code EARLYBIRD for 25% off. Offer valid from Jan. 5 to Jan. 19, 2026. Terms apply.

Take control of your money with CNBC Select

CNBC Select is editorially independent and may earn a commission from affiliate partners on links.

  • Interest in credit cards is expected to heat up in 2026. What that means for cardholders
  • Holiday debt hangover? 6 steps to recover fast in the new year
  • The best personal loans for same-day funding
  • The best credit cards for travel rewards, cash back, 0% APR and more

Leave a Reply