Building a healthy romantic relationship takes time and intention. Over time, meaningful experiences, personal disclosures and authentic conversations create closeness and intimacy.

To genuinely know someone, you must understand what matters to them — their likes and dislikes, passions, limits — and respecting those traits even when they differ from your own.

In fact, many strong couples come to appreciate differences, recognizing that a person’s history, quirks and tendencies are what make them unique. Here are eight phrases couples who are truly close use when talking about each other, and they should be relationship goals for all of us.

Your partner’s mistakes aren’t yours to carry, and their successes aren’t yours to claim. They are their own person living alongside you, not an extension of you.

Similar phrases:

• “She’s always been like that.”
• “I know that’s one of his favorite things to do.”

When you really understand your partner, you’re not likely to be taken aback by what they say or do. If friends are shocked by a comment or action they make, you might just smile and shrug. 

Similar phrases: 

• “Oh yeah, that’s my mate alright!”
• “That’s totally her style.”

Everyone has their own quirks, odd habits or routine preferences, from how they drink coffee to how they fold their towels. These are little things that no one else probably knows about them. But if you really know your partner, you notice those details and often find affection in them.

Similar phrases:

• “They sneeze like a train!”
• “His hiccups are kind of adorable.”

Deep knowledge builds trust. When you know your partner, you trust them to act authentically and responsibly, whether you’re together or apart.

Similar phrases:

• “She can be a little intense, but I trust her to make good choices.”
• “I know they’ll be respectful.” 

Intimacy means understanding your partner’s fundamental ideas, beliefs and principles. Even when you disagree, you can acknowledge what truly matters to them without dismissing or demeaning it.

Similar phrases:

• “I know this is really important to them.”
• “He’s very passionate about politics.”

Knowing someone deeply means understanding their fears, vulnerabilities and emotional triggers. When those struggles surface, you respond with empathy rather than judgment or defensiveness.

Similar phrases:

• “I know this is painful for them.”
• “I see her struggle and want to support her through it.”

Knowing your partner means accepting that you can’t — and shouldn’t — try to change who they are, even if it’s something you really dislike about them. True growth only happens if they choose it.

Similar phrases:

• “They’ll change only if they want to.”
• “I accept that we see this differently, even if I don’t like it.” 

Even in long-term relationships, there’s always more to learn. When couples truly know each other, discovering something new feels like an opportunity to grow, not a threat.

Similar phrases:

• “I never realized they felt that way.”
• “Even though we’ve been married for years, I’m still learning new things about him.”

Here are a few ways to start:

• Ask open-ended questions with genuine curiosity.
• Practice seeing situations from their perspective.
• Speak with respect during difficult conversations.
• Use physical touch, like hugging or holding hands, to bond.
• Show presence by putting down your phone, making eye contact and prioritizing time together.

The answer to real intimacy is simple: You have to understand and choose each other, every day.

Dr. Cortney S. Warren, PhD, is a board-certified psychologist and author of the new book “Letting Go of Your Ex.” She specializes in romantic relationships, addictive behavior, and honesty. She received her clinical training at Harvard Medical School after earning her doctorate in clinical psychology from Texas A&M University. Follow her on Instagram @DrCortneyWarren or Twitter @DrCortneyWarren.

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Five years before Abi Caswell opened her own bakery, she had never made a single cookie.

Today, she owns and manages two bake shops that bring in seven figures in sales, she says.

Caswell, 30, is the founder of Batter, a bakery with two storefronts in Hammond, Louisiana and in New Orleans.

Her ultimate goal has always been to own her own business, she tells CNBC Make It.

“Since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to work for myself,” she says. “I wanted to be able to control my schedule, and I wanted to make my own money.”

Her interest in sweet treats began as a teenager: Caswell worked at a local cupcake shop from ages 16 to 20 and “loved everything about it,” though she wasn’t involved in the baking process.

After graduating from Louisiana State University of Alexandria in 2018 with a major in business administration and a minor in marketing, Caswell moved to Hammond with her husband Trey.

While working full-time as an executive assistant, Caswell started experimenting with baking her own cakes as a hobby.

After she made a cake for a friend’s husband, “one of our mutual friends was like, ‘This is so good. You’ve got to sell these. We have nothing like this here,’” Caswell recalls.

Caswell initially planned to stick to cakes and cupcakes, she says, but with the rise of popular cookie chains like Crumbl and Insomnia Cookies — neither of which had storefronts in Hammond at the time, Caswell notes — she decided to capitalize on the craze and make cookies the focus of her baking side hustle.

From home baker to business owner

In fall 2021, Caswell started experimenting with cookie recipes with the help of her husband Trey, who works as a high school basketball coach. It took Caswell six months to develop her now-signature chocolate chip cookie recipe.

“We made so many batches of cookies that were terrible,” she says. “They would just never be quite right because I had no clue what I was doing. So every time I made one, I just learned something new about it.”

She began posting her bakes online and on social media, and says she quickly attracted a strong local customer base.

In spring 2022, Caswell left her full-time executive assistant job to focus on baking.

“I was going to work from 8 to 5:30 [p.m.], and then I was coming home and baking till like 1 a.m.,” she recalls. “It was just too much.”

Around the time Caswell left her job, she landed a spot at the farmer’s market in Hammond. Every Friday, she baked 500 cookies with her husband’s help to sell at the market on Saturday, and they regularly sold out within 30 minutes, she says.

“That was when I realized, we’ve got to get in a store. Like, this is not sustainable. We have to find another way to sell,” Caswell says.

It wasn’t easy for Caswell to secure a storefront in Hammond.

Caswell developed a business plan to open a bakery with the help of her local small business development center, but she had no money saved at the time and several banks rejected her request for a loan.

Finally, a bank representative helped her secure a $40,000 loan, for which Caswell says she had to put up her house as collateral, to rent a storefront and install baking appliances.

In November 2022, Caswell officially opened her first Batter shop in downtown Hammond with a team of eight employees — a head baker and seven part-time bakery clerks. She had just turned 27 years old.

Scaling the business

Caswell was “running off adrenaline” for the first few months, she says. She spent up to 18 hours a day working at the bakery to keep up with demand.

“We couldn’t keep anything in stock,” she says. “We had an amazing time, but it was very, very stressful.”

Batter brought in mid-six figures in its first year of operation, according to Caswell, and she was able to pay off her bank loan entirely by May 2023.

After the success of the Hammond location, Caswell opened another Batter location in New Orleans in December 2024 with the goal of reaching a larger customer base.

Last year, the two locations collectively brought in seven figures in yearly sales, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It.

Caswell estimates that she sells over a thousand baked goods each day.

Cookies, cupcakes, cakes, petit fours and pull-apart loaves are staples on Batter’s menu year-round, she says, but they also offer seasonal treats like a king cake-inspired cookie for Mardi Gras. The bakery’s signature chocolate chip cookies cost $3.75 each.

Batter also sells cake balls, croissants and homemade pop tarts that Caswell sources from other local women-owned bakeries, and both locations serve coffee.

Right now, Caswell is close to achieving a longtime dream: developing her signature chocolate chip cookie recipe into a wholesale mix.

She says her first drop of 150 bags of cookie mix, which she sells for $14.99 each, quickly sold out online, and her goal is to get the product into grocery stores this year.

“Before I ever opened Batter, I always said to my husband, ‘We’re going to be on these shelves one day,’” she says.

Developing a mix will make her cookies “more accessible,” rather than being tied to a storefront, Caswell says.

‘Never truly off the clock’

One trait that Caswell believes is crucial to her success is adaptability.

“A lot of being a business owner is what your tolerance level is for your plans to change, for things to pop up and things to go wrong,” she says.

Running both bakeries hasn’t been easy – “every day there’s something new going on,” Caswell says.

Caswell currently doesn’t have a cake decorator for the New Orleans store, so she’s filling the position herself until she can hire a new decorator.

Caswell typically splits her time between both stores, which are an hour’s drive apart, but since her New Orleans store is understaffed, Caswell has been working at that location “pretty much full-time” every day of the week, she says.

That’s the “joy of being a small business owner,” she jokes: you’re “never truly off the clock.”

Online marketing has always been a key element of her business, Caswell says: it’s how she reached many of her early customers, and she credits her social media reach for boosting her business to this day.

Caswell currently has almost 300,000 followers on her TikTok account, where she posts about her daily routine, shares behind-the-scenes baking videos and opens up about the challenges of running her bakeries.

Beyond promoting her bakes, Caswell’s goal is to show her audience what it really takes to run a small business.

“I try to be as honest as I can be on social media,” she says. “I really think that people don’t understand the mental undertaking, but also the time commitment.”

When you own a business, “there is no real downtime,” Caswell says. “Even when I’m on vacation, if the stores are open, I’m on the clock.”

Most of the time, “the losses hurt more than the wins feel good,” she continues, but Caswell’s goal for this year is to give herself a chance “to relish what we’ve done.”

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Success doesn’t always smell sweet.

For Daniel Tom, the 31-year-old owner and operator of Bay Area Sanitation, success means nearly 2,000 portable toilets deployed at events and work sites across the San Francisco Bay Area. Tom’s company is responsible for renting out and maintaining those toilets, including weekly cleanings, restocking supplies and emptying up to 60 gallons of waste from each unit with one of Bay Area Sanitation’s 12 vacuum pumper trucks.

“When I tell people that I own a porta-potty business, I get a lot of disgusted looks,” Tom says. “But once I explain to them the business model and the revenue, most of the time they get interested.”

Tom launched Bay Area Sanitation in 2023 with one truck and just 100 toilets to rent. The company became profitable after its first year of business, and revenue has climbed alongside its fleet of rentable toilets. Bay Area Sanitation brought in $3.1 million in 2024 total income and $4.3 million in 2025, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It.

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Tom’s business operates pretty much anywhere a person might seek out a portable toilet, from short-term outdoor events like concerts to longer-term rentals at construction sites or public parks. Bay Area Sanitation’s standard-sized portable toilets start at $160 per month for long-term rentals, including weekly cleanings. Short-term pricing ranges from $239 to $399 per event.

The bulk of the company’s revenue comes from long-term rentals with recurring weekly cleaning charges that add up over weeks, months or multiple years, Tom says. “I like to focus on long-term rentals because it equals guaranteed recurring revenue for my business,” he says, adding that his business has a net profit margin of around 22%.

The irony that he’s built a successful business out of collecting human waste “right around the corner from some of the biggest tech companies in the world, like Google, Apple and Nvidia” certainly isn’t lost on Tom. At a time when many workers worry about being replaced by artificial intelligence, Tom sees a benefit in building his business around solving an inevitable human problem.

“We’ve managed to build what I think is a low-tech, AI-proof business,” he says.

Tom’s start in the industry came during his junior year of college at San Jose State University, where he studied to be a physical education teacher. He took on a part-time customer service job with a portable toilet rental company.

“I liked it so much that I decided to abandon teaching and dive in full-time after graduation,” says Tom, who worked for seven years as a sales manager with Hanson & Fitch before deciding to launch his own business, according to his LinkedIn profile.

Tom saw the business’ solid profit potential, and came to appreciate doing a necessary job that might cause others to shy away, he says: “The truth is, I take pride in what I do. I love coming to work every day and I provide a service that everybody needs. Everybody goes, right?”

Starting a porta-potty rental business typically requires enough upfront cash to buy equipment, which can cost around $800 per rentable toilet and $160,000 per vacuum truck, says Tom. He declined to share details about his own startup funds, but says that the average person might need roughly $250,000 to get started.

Labor costs for Tom’s 19 employees are his largest expense, he says, equal to roughly 30% of Bay Area Sanitation’s revenue. Other costs include fuel for the vacuum trucks and delivery trucks, and supplies like toilet paper and paper towels, he says. Tom takes home roughly $120,000 in personal annual salary — a number that could easily be higher, he says, if he didn’t reinvest the bulk of profits back into the business.

“We’re really prioritizing reinvesting in the business to continue growing,” says Tom. His goal is to amass 5,000 portable toilets and $10 million in annual revenue within the next five years, he says. In December, Bay Area Sanitation signed a lease for a warehouse yard space with room for “almost twice as many trucks as we have now,” he adds.

The portable toilet rental industry brought in an estimated $3.3 billion in the U.S. in 2025, up 1.7% from 2024, according to a September 2025 analysis from research firm IBISWorld. Tom projects plenty of market share for the taking in the Bay Area, he says, with myriad local outdoor events and a growing construction sector.

Tom’s business likely isn’t for everyone, though he says he’s gotten used to some of the less savory aspects. “I’ve cleaned so many porta-potties the smell doesn’t really bother me,” he says. “But every once in a while, I’ll come across [a unit] after somebody’s had some bad burritos, or something like that. And even for me, it’s hard to stomach.”

His typical day starts with a 4 a.m. wakeup. He drives to his company’s storage yard to meet his employees before they all head out to deliver fresh toilets to clients and clean long-term rentals. On less busy days, Tom stays in the office doing administrative work, making sales calls or working on the business’ long-term growth strategy.

One key to his success, Tom suggests: taking the sanitation aspect of the business as seriously as possible. Each unit’s weekly cleaning regimen includes completely emptying the waste with the vacuum truck’s suction wand, adding deodorizer that breaks down future waste and mitigates bad smells, scrubbing and disinfecting every surface inside the unit, and restocking paper goods.

Prioritizing the customer experience means trying to avoid users encountering nasty situations as much as possible, says Tom. And it means working with your hands, even when you’re the business owner, he adds: “What sets an owner apart in the porta-potty business is how involved they stay in the daily operations.”

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For many Americans, $1 million is seen as a savings benchmark for retirement. But in 32 U.S. states, the estimated minimum needed to retire at 65 is less than that.

That’s according to a state-by-state analysis from personal finance website GOBankingRates, which estimates the minimum household savings needed to retire at 65 and cover essential living expenses over 25 years, including housing, groceries, transportation, utilities and health care.

To determine savings minimums in each state, GOBankingRates looked at cost of living data for retirees 65 and older from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, minus average Social Security income. It then used a 4% annual withdrawal rate to estimate the total amount of savings needed to cover remaining expenses.

These estimates focus on the minimum needed to cover day-to-day living costs, not a comfortable retirement. They exclude discretionary spending and don’t account for factors like inheritances or paid-off mortgages.

The analysis is also based on household expenses, meaning that retirement costs could be supported by more than one person’s savings or income for a given home.

Even so, basic living costs in retirement can exceed what many people expect. About half of U.S. workers say they’ll need at least $500,000 to retire comfortably — not just cover essentials — according to a 2025 Bankrate survey.

Here’s a look at the U.S. states where the estimated minimum savings needed to retire at 65 comes in below $1 million.

• Annual cost of living: $53,999
• Savings you need to retire: $789,037

• Annual cost of living: $54,859
• Savings you need to retire: $810,538

• Annual cost of living: $61,125
• Savings you need to retire: $967,190

• Annual cost of living: $56,395
• Savings you need to retire: $848,933

• Annual cost of living: $60,818
• Savings you need to retire: $959,511

• Annual cost of living: $58,913
• Savings you need to retire: $911,901

• Annual cost of living: $55,657
• Savings you need to retire: $830,504

• Annual cost of living: $55,473
• Savings you need to retire: $825,896

• Annual cost of living: $54,613
• Savings you need to retire: $804,395

• Annual cost of living: $56,456
• Savings you need to retire: $850,469

• Annual cost of living: $56,947
• Savings you need to retire: $862,756

• Annual cost of living: $58,176
• Savings you need to retire: $893,472

• Annual cost of living: $57,869
• Savings you need to retire: $885,793

• Annual cost of living: $52,524
• Savings you need to retire: $752,178

• Annual cost of living: $54,674
• Savings you need to retire: $805,931

• Annual cost of living: $56,272
• Savings you need to retire: $845,862

• Annual cost of living: $60,572
• Savings you need to retire: $953,368

• Annual cost of living: $56,825
• Savings you need to retire: $859,684

• Annual cost of living: $59,835
• Savings you need to retire: $934,938

• Annual cost of living: $56,087
• Savings you need to retire: $841,254

• Annual cost of living: $57,009
• Savings you need to retire: $864,291

• Annual cost of living: $51,849
• Savings you need to retire: $735,284

• Annual cost of living: $59,650
• Savings you need to retire: $930,331

• Annual cost of living: $56,825
• Savings you need to retire: $859,684

• Annual cost of living: $56,395
• Savings you need to retire: $848,933

• Annual cost of living: $55,473
• Savings you need to retire: $825,896

• Annual cost of living: $55,780
• Savings you need to retire: $833,575

• Annual cost of living: $60,879
• Savings you need to retire: $961,047

• Annual cost of living: $61,493
• Savings you need to retire: $976,405

• Annual cost of living: $54,122
• Savings you need to retire: $792,109

• Annual cost of living: $60,019
• Savings you need to retire: $939,546

• Annual cost of living: $58,545
• Savings you need to retire: $902,686

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One-on-ones are the most valuable time you have with your boss. Yet most people treat them like throwaway meetings. They fail to prepare and rush through them, rattling off a few tasks they’ve completed and calling it a day.

I’ve spent almost 15 years coaching leaders at companies like Google, Amazon, and Apple. In my book, “Managing Up: How to Get What You Need From the People in Charge,” I talk about how the people who get promoted fastest don’t treat one-on-ones as a status report. The highest performers use this time to connect their work to business impact and to uncover stretch projects they wouldn’t hear about otherwise. 

Leaders promote people who don’t need to be managed and who’ve proven they’re already operating at a more senior level. Here are five phrases to use in your one-on-ones that will change how your boss sees you and the opportunities that come your way. 

Open by walking through what you’ve accomplished since your last meeting and why it matters. This lets you highlight wins and prevents the conversation from getting derailed by whatever is top of mind for your boss. What you share here is often passed up the chain, making it easier to gain visibility with decision-makers.

Try this: Skip vague status updates and link your work to business outcomes. Instead of “We’re reaching out to new clients,” say, “We contacted eight prospects last week and have three demos scheduled, keeping us on track for our Q2 goal.” 

Even a 30-minute one-on-one can double as a focused problem-solving session. This phrase positions you as a partner to your manager, not just someone who takes orders. It shows you’re thinking critically about challenges and taking initiative to solve them, which is the kind of behavior that gets people promoted. 

Try this: Don’t bring a problem without sharing what you’ve already tried or the options you’re weighing. Instead of, “I have no idea how to handle this team conflict,” say, “There’s been some miscommunication with the marketing team. I’ve tried [X] and I’m considering [Y] next, but I’d love your take before I move forward.” 

Most people only talk about their own work in one-on-ones. Turn the tables and ask what’s happening at your boss’s level and above. This gives you insight into priorities, pressures, and changes that could affect your work before they trickle down and surprise you. When you engage in a thoughtful conversation about strategy and the things leaders care most about, you set yourself apart from peers. 

Try this: Ask what your boss has coming up or what initiatives are on the horizon, then offer to assist. You could say, “I know you have a lot on your plate. Are there projects where it’d be helpful to have me step in to lighten the load?” Or, “I’d be happy to attend that meeting in your place so you can be heads-down on other priorities.” It’s a win-win: You help manage their workload while gaining exposure to growth assignments.

Your promotion isn’t decided at your performance review. It’s decided in the months leading up to it. This phrase is a subtle but powerful way to make it known that you’re interested in — and ready for — additional responsibilities. 

Try this: If your boss mentions a new direction for the company, you might say, “Great to hear we’re expanding. How are we approaching regulatory issues? I’d love to contribute on the compliance side.” Or use it after positive feedback: “Thanks, I enjoyed working on the program. I’m looking to take on more work in that area.”

Ending one-on-ones with a noncommittal, “Sounds good, talk next week,” is how things fall through the cracks. You’ll end up frustrated that your manager doesn’t follow through. Instead, close with accountability. Summarize what each of your action items are. 

Try this: If your boss agrees to do something, get specifics. Ask, “Is Wednesday doable?” or, “Can I count on having that by Friday?”

Melody Wilding, LMSW is an executive coach, human behavior professor, and author of ”Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge.” Get her free training, 5 Steps to Speak Like a Senior Leader, here. 

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