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Procrastinating isn’t a sign of laziness or ‘lack of willpower,’ neuroscientist says: How to ‘get unstuck’

For many of us, procrastination comes with a lot of emotional baggage, says neuroscientist Anne-Laure Le Cunff, PhD.

“We’ve been taught to associate procrastination with laziness and lack of willpower, and so whenever we procrastinate, we start blaming ourselves for not doing the thing that we said we were going to do,” Le Cunff says.

Those negative feelings only make it harder for us to get back on track, according to Le Cunff, the author of “Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World.”

From her perspective, procrastination shouldn’t be a source of shame — it’s “really just a signal from your brain that something is not working quite right at the moment,” she says.

“Instead of ignoring that signal, instead of trying to push through and blaming yourself in the process, what would it look like to just listen to that signal?” she continues.

A better approach is to “get curious” about the root of your procrastination habits, Le Cunff says. Here’s her strategy for overcoming procrastination.

Identify the problem

Le Cunff created a “triple-check” system that helps her evaluate why she might be avoiding a task — in her words, whether “the problem is coming from the head, from the heart or from the hand,” she says.

If your procrastination stems from the head, it means that “at a rational level, you’re not fully convinced you should be working on that task in the first place,” Le Cunff says.

The heart refers to your feelings: “If the problem is coming from the heart, it means that at an emotional level, you don’t feel like this is going to be fun or exciting.”

Finally, “if the problem is coming from the hand, it means that at a practical level, you don’t believe that you have the right tools, the right skills, or the right support network in order to get the task done,” Le Cunff says.

Once you’ve identified why you’re avoiding a task, “you can systematically find ways to get unstuck,” she says.

How to stop procrastinating

To tackle “head” problems, Le Cunff recommends taking a step back and evaluating what doesn’t feel right about the work.

For example, if you’re dragging your feet on finishing a task because you’re not sure whether it aligns with your project’s strategic goals, “you can go back to the drawing board and kind of redefine the task and see if that’s the right approach,” Le Cunff says.

For tasks you’re avoiding because they don’t feel sufficiently exciting or stimulating, Le Cunff’s best advice is to “make the environment fun,” she says.

“Maybe grab your favorite colleague and do a little co-working session, or go to your favorite coffee shop to do the task,” she says.

If you tend to procrastinate when you feel overwhelmed or unprepared, Le Cunff recommends reaching out to trusted friends or colleagues for advice.

“I always tell people, raise your hand, ask for help,” she says. That support could involve coaching, mentoring or asking your company to sponsor an online course — “whatever it is that you need to feel like you have the resources in order to get the job done.”

The triple-check system helps circumvent the ‘shame’ component of procrastination, Le Cunff says.

“It’s really going from this vague sense of dread and self-blame that you’re not doing the thing that you should be doing, to acting a little bit more like a scientist, like a detective, and seeing it as a puzzle to solve,” she says.

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Highly successful people do 3 things that many neglect, says Harvard career expert

The minute you step into an interview or new role, everyone around you will start asking themselves three questions: 

  1. Can you do the job well? 
  2. Are you excited to be here?
  3. Do you get along with us? 

Your job is to convince your interviewer, manager, and coworkers that the answer to all three questions is a resounding “Yes!” 

As a Harvard career advisor who’s worked with thousands of early career professionals, I know that when you demonstrate all three Cs — competence, commitment, compatibility — you’ll unlock opportunities and accelerate your career. Fail to master them and you’ll find yourself getting looked over for projects, promotions, and full-time job offers. 

In my experience, highly successful people:

1. Demonstrate competence

Competence means you can do your job fully, accurately, and promptly without needing to be micromanaged — and without making others look bad. This means not undershooting to the point of looking clueless and not overshooting to the point of looking overbearing. Try: 

  • Taking ownership: Don’t stop at “What do I do next? Help!” Share your thought process, your proposal, or your point of view.
  • Minimizing errors: Don’t just submit your first draft. Double-check your work for typos, miscalculations, and formatting inconsistencies first.
  • Managing expectations: Don’t say “yes” and then forget what you promised. Do what you said you’d do. And if you can’t, deliver bad news early.

True competence can be difficult to measure. Managers often rely on proxies like how much progress it looks like you are making on a project, how confidently you speak in meetings, and how well you promote yourself. Your actual competence matters, but your perceived competence can be just as important, especially if your daily output is hard to quantify.

Ask yourself: Compared to others around me, especially those near or at my level, am I being complete, thorough, and responsive?

2. Show commitment

Commitment means you are fully present and eager to help your team achieve its goals, but not so eager that you put others on the defensive. This means not undershooting to the point of looking apathetic and not overshooting to the point of looking threatening. Try:

  • Being present: Ahead of meetings, brainstorm questions you might be asked and show up with a point of view (or at least a notebook to take notes).
  • Replying promptly: Don’t wait until you’re done with your work to let others know. Reply at least as quickly as others around you (or let people know if you need more time).
  • Showing curiosity: Don’t say “nope!” when someone asks if you have any questions. Share what you already know — and then ask a question that can’t be easily answered with an online search. 

Perception and reality don’t always align. Little actions like showing up late, looking away on video chat, not volunteering for tasks, not speaking up enough, or not replying to emails as quickly as your coworkers do can be enough to cast doubt on how committed you are. 

Ask yourself: Compared to others around me, especially those near or at my level, am I being proactive and present?

3. Aim for compatibility

Compatibility means you make others comfortable and eager to be around you — without coming across as inauthentic or trying too hard. This means not undershooting to the point of looking passive and not overshooting to the point of looking like a poser. Try:

  • Building relationships: Don’t just do your work. Introduce yourself and show an interest in people.
  • Showing deference: Don’t just say anything to anyone at any time. Uncover the unspoken hierarchy of your new team and approach those higher up with an extra dose of seriousness.
  • Uncovering norms: Don’t assume the working style of your last job will work for this one. Show an interest in adapting to how the team operates.

What’s challenging about compatibility is that it depends on whom you’re with and what norms and unconscious biases they have. People like people who are similar to themselves, so they tend to hire, hang around, and promote those who look like, talk like, and have the same backgrounds and interests as they do.

Ask yourself: Am I adopting the behaviors I see that feel authentic to me?

The workplace is not a level playing field

For some, competence is expected; for others, incompetence is expected. For some, commitment is assumed; for others, it’s questioned. For some, compatibility is effortless; for others, it’s tiresome.

If you’re joining a team where people are different from you — in terms of race, ethnicity, socioeconomic background, gender, sex, sexual orientation, dis/ability, religion, age, degree of introversion or extroversion, or other characteristics — then your identity can influence how others judge your three Cs.

Women, for example, often walk a tightrope of needing to be both likable and competent. Black people tend to be more closely monitored at work than white people are. And people with easy-to-pronounce names tend to be evaluated more positively than people with difficult-to-pronounce names. 

Is this fair? No. Do we need a better system? Yes. Might we have a better system by the time you start your job? If only.

Until that better world arrives, knowing the three C’s can help you diagnose what’s happening around you and arm you with the tools to become the professional you have the potential to be.

Gorick Ng is the Wall Street Journal bestselling author of ”The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right″ and the How to Say It® flashcards for professional communication. He’s a first-gen professional turned Harvard career advisor turned keynote speaker across the Fortune 500.

Join Make It’s book club discussion! Request to join our LinkedIn group, drop your questions for the author in the comments of this post, and come chat with us and Gorick Ng on Wednesday, January 28, at 10 a.m. ET.

Excerpt adapted from ”The Unspoken Rules: Secrets to Starting Your Career Off Right.” by Gorick Ng (and ”The 3 C’s: The Unspoken Rules of Career Success″). Copyright © 2021. Reprinted with permission. All rights reserved.

Do 4 things when your kid throws a tantrum, says parenting expert and former nanny

Public tantrums can feel like one of the most dreaded parts of toddlerhood. That sinking feeling of panic and embarrassment is something nearly every parent experiences. 

As a mom, former nanny and author of “Transforming Toddlerhood,” I’ve seen all the behaviors. Every tantrum and power struggle can feel like a personal failure. And the fear of judgment and shame can unravel even the most steadfast person. 

But what I teach as a parenting coach is that every tantrum is a chance to better understand and strengthen the bond between you and your child. Here’s how:

1. Move to a more private space

If your child starts to melt down in public, make sure both you and your child are in a safe environment for them to do so. At the grocery store, for example, you might go into a quieter aisle or a bathroom. 

Take deep breaths, stay calm and remind yourself that this is not an emergency. Staying calm is the most powerful thing you can do during a tantrum once you know your child is safe. Your steady presence is essential for helping them to regulate their emotions.  

2. Pay attention to their boundaries around physical contact 

When it comes to your child’s comfort during stressful moments like these, follow their lead. Pay attention to how much physical closeness a child can handle during a tantrum. Sometimes less is more. Offer a hug or to simply sit nearby, if they’re receptive. 

If a child is hitting you, you might have an impulse to hold their hands, but that can sometimes feel restricting and lead to greater upset. One way to help them establish a clearer sense of personal space is by sitting with them but placing a cushion or a bag between you. 

3. Use simple and consistent language 

First, if they are exhibiting any unsafe behavior, calmly but firmly set a limit around actions like hitting or throwing, with a phrase like, “I won’t let you hit.” 

If the tantrum is more about them feeling overwhelmed, try validating statements like, “I know that’s upsetting,” or, “I’m here to help.” 

Keep your words clear and predictable. Then invite them to express their feelings, without judgment. 

As things start to calm down, offer them some choices that are within your own boundaries. Provide some clear, age-appropriate options to give them a sense of control. 

In a grocery store, for example, those options could be something like, “Would you like to ride in the cart or hold my hand,” or, “Would you like to hold the list or help me push the cart?”

4. Take some time to regulate your own emotions

A big part of managing tantrums isn’t just helping your child regulate their emotions, but also how you regulate yours. 

During a public tantrum, people will almost always stop and stare. Even if it’s just out of curiosity, it can feel like judgment. But before you let that get to you, focus on what you can control in that moment.

  1. Don’t take it personally. Remember that your child’s tantrum isn’t a reflection of you as a person or of your parenting. 
  2. Shift your perspective. Instead of thinking your toddler is trying to cause a scene, understand that they’re really just having a hard time coping. 
  3. Manage onlookers. You have the choice to ignore them or respond with objectivity and compassion. A simple “I’m doing my best” can go a long way. 
  4. Manage overwhelm. If at any point a public tantrum feels too overwhelming, it’s perfectly fine to step away to a quiet space, allowing your child to work through their emotions while giving yourself a moment to ground. This might mean abandoning your cart at customer service or in the aisle and stepping outside or going to the car to calm down. Remember, you and your child are both human and doing your best.

Devon Kuntzman, PCC, is a parenting coach and the founder of Transforming Toddlerhood. On a mission to dispel the myth that toddlerhood is a “terrible” stage, Devon wants to empower parents to confidently navigate the ups and downs of toddlerhood. She is also the author of ”Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind.”

Want to get ahead at work with AI? Sign up for CNBC’s new online course, Beyond the Basics: How to Use AI to Supercharge Your Work. Learn advanced AI skills like building custom GPTs and using AI agents to boost your productivity today. 

This excerpt is adapted from ”Transforming Toddlerhood: How to Handle Tantrums, End Power Struggles, and Raise Resilient Kids—Without Losing Your Mind″ by Devon Kuntzman. Copyright © 2025 by Devon Kuntzman. Used with permission of Harper Horizon, an imprint of HarperCollins Focus, LLC.

Look inside: NYC’s Flatiron Building officially has apartments for sale

There’s no way to walk through New York City’s Flatiron district without seeing The Flatiron Building. It first opened in 1902 and has been part of the city’s fabric ever since. And for the first time in 124 years, if you have the money, you can call it home.

Formerly a commercial building, the Flatiron Building is being converted into 38 luxury condominiums, with a full completion scheduled for later this year. Apartments in the building range from three-bedroom units selling for around $10.95 million to the penthouse on the 21st floor going for over $50 million. Corcoran Sunshine is leading sales and marketing for all of the apartments, which were designed by Studio Sofield.

“Very few buildings in the world elicit an emotional response like The Flatiron Building and reimagining this iconic landmark as residential homes has been an exciting and deeply meaningful experience; one we approach with great care and respect,” William Sofield, designer and founder of Studio Sofield, tells CNBC Make It via email.

There are currently two four-bedroom, four-bathroom units available, priced from $16 million to $18.9 million. Others are set to become available later this year, with three-quarters of the building expected to be done by July.

The first is an 11th-floor unit that went on the market on Jan. 24 for $16 million. It spans 3,828 square feet and occupies two corners of the building, offering south, east and west exposures.

The standout feature is the great room, measuring 58 feet by 21 feet, with 10-foot ceilings.

“You’re in a historic building looking at historic facades. It gets tremendous light because it’s southwest facing,” James Lansill, senior managing director at Corcoran Sunshine Marketing Group, tells CNBC Make It.

The second apartment is on the sixth floor and listed for $18.9 million. It spans 4,654 square feet with a great room measuring more than 63 feet by 26 feet. It also has an additional half bathroom. The unit offers views of Madison Square Park, up to Fifth Avenue and Broadway.

Lansill says the Flatiron Building apartments are special because each unit has subtle differences from its peers.

“Each one has a personality and that personality can be informed by the historical trim that surrounds the outside of the window,” he says.

“What was modern about The Flatiron Building in 1902 is still what’s modern about it today. The reimagined interiors reflect a love of craftsmanship, texture, and history. We carefully considered what kind of design would best honor the site’s integrity and its place within the city,” Sofield says.

The Flatiron Building conversion began in 2023 and is a redevelopment led by the Brodsky Organization and the Sorgente Group.

“It’s been a thrilling process because the building has this historical and architectural interest, but it also has this iconic shape,” Lansill says.

Landsill adds that because the building was designed for commercial use, it took the team about eight months to develop a concept that made sense. They eventually landed on two units per floor — a north and south apartment — plus two full-floor units on floors 20 and 21.

Part of the conversation meant adding 21st-century amenities, including a wellness center, fitness center, sports simulator, lounge, 60-foot lap pool, billiards rooms and a piano lounge. The building also offers residents private storage and wine cellars for an extra fee.

At the time of reporting, four apartments in the building have already sold, according to Lansill.

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The best communicators do 3 simple things in job interviews—they make you a ‘very, very attractive’ candidate, says expert

You need to have the right skills to do the job you’re hoping to land. But your ability to communicate that you have them — and can use them to help your prospective employer become more successful — is just as important.

“The things that make us good at communication also make us very, very attractive in an interview,” Charles Duhigg tells CNBC Make It.

Duhigg has studied hundreds of people in authoring three books on productivity, habits and communication. His latest book, “Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection,” examines what sets the most effective communicators apart.

Duhigg shared three communication tips that candidates should take into their next job interviews to connect with the person on the other side of the table (or screen) and make a stronger impression.

1. Give authentic answers

Interviewers know candidates are eager to impress. But if your answers to interview questions sound too polished or canned, you could be doing yourself a disservice.

“They know that you’re performing; they know that you’re there to try and get a job,” Duhigg says. But the more we can “genuinely convey who we are,” the more the employer has “a chance to see whether we’ll actually succeed there.”

Answering questions genuinely, but tactfully, can help you stand out, he adds. “The interviewer is going to remember that answer,” he says. “The best communication is the most genuine communication.”

One of the toughest questions to answer in an interview is “Tell me about your weaknesses.”

If they ask a question like this, Duhigg says, “and I answer it as honestly as I can, it doesn’t mean that I have to expose my flaws, it doesn’t mean that I have to say something out of line.”

Career coach Madeline Mann previously told CNBC Make It that an ideal answer would briefly explain a genuine weakness, but not one that’s “core to the job,” before laying out steps you’re taking to address the problem area.

2. Ask questions

“Think about how many people go into an interview and the person asks them, ‘Do you have any questions for me?’ and the question they ask is completely predictable,” Duhigg says.

The best communicators typically “ask a lot more questions” than their peers, Duhigg says. They also ask what he calls deep questions, or those that center on a person’s values, beliefs or experience.

For job candidates, that might mean asking an interviewer how they got into that line of work, or what their favorite part of working there is.

3. Mirror their body language

Some of the most important communication is silent. Body language can be very telling, and mirroring things like your interviewer’s posture, gestures and expressions can make you a more attractive candidate for the job.

That could be as simple as smiling back when they smile during conversation or noticing when they lean in and doing the same.

“The more we are prepared and comfortable doing that, the better off that interview is going to go,” Duhigg says.

Want to get ahead at work with AI? Sign up for CNBC’s new online course, Beyond the Basics: How to Use AI to Supercharge Your Work. Learn advanced AI skills like building custom GPTs and using AI agents to boost your productivity today.

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