INDEPENDENT 2024-12-17 00:09:45


Iran arrests YouTube singer for streaming concert without hijab

An Iranian underground singer and her band members have been arrested for streaming a live performance on YouTube without wearing a hijab.

Parastoo Ahmadi and her two band members were arrested from Mazandaran in northern Iran on Saturday, three days after she streamed the performance, her lawyer Milad Panahipour told the Emtedad news website.

She was released a day later after questioning and the judiciary said “appropriate action” would be taken against Ms Ahmadi and her production team.

Ms Ahmadi performed on Wednesday on her channel on YouTube, which is blocked in Iran but can be accessed through software to bypass a firewall.

Clad in a black sleeveless dress and sporting a necklace in the shape of a map of Iran, Ms Ahmadi wore her long hair loose over the shoulders while performing with four band members.

In the video, which got close to 2 million views, Ms Ahmadi sang folk tunes for 27 minutes.

She called it an “imaginary concert” and invited her YouTube audience to “imagine this beautiful homeland” in Iran.

“I’m Parastoo, a girl who wants to sing for the people I love. This is a right I could not ignore, singing for the land I love passionately,” she wrote in the caption.

“Here, in this part of our beloved Iran where history and our myths intertwine, hear my voice in this imaginary concert and imagine this beautiful homeland. I am grateful to all those who have supported me in these difficult and special circumstances.”

The performance was streamed from an undisclosed location in a caravanserai, a roadside inn historically built along the Silk Road trade route for travellers.

Ms Ahmadi’s lawyer said they were unaware of the charges, the arresting agency, or the location of her detention.

The judiciary said Ms Ahmadi was released on Sunday after being taken for a “briefing session”.

“The Mazandaran Police Information Center announced that Ms Parastoo Ahmadi attended a briefing session after posting a video deemed contrary to cultural norms and values,” it said. “She has been asked to appear before judicial authorities.”

The Hengaw Organization for Human Rights, which is based in Norway, said they received reports that two people who performed with her, Sohail Faghih-Nassiri and Ehsan Beyraghdar, were also arrested.

Since the Islamic Revolution in 1979, Iran has enforced strict laws banning solo singing by women and mandating the public wearing of veils.

But a number of women in recent years have defied the bans and appeared without veils in public places to protest the laws.

The laws drew international attention in 2022 after Mahsa Amini, 22, died following her detention for not wearing her hijab correctly.

Her death caused unprecedented protests that were defined by the slogan “Women, life, freedom” and lasted three months.

Iranian authorities said Ms Amini died due to pre-existing medical conditions.

In November this year, a college student was arrested after she stripped down to her undergarments reportedly in protest against an alleged assault by security forces for not following strict hijab laws. The videos of her protest and her arrest went viral, sparking outrage from human rights organisations who demanded her release.

Woman saved from execution in Indonesia to return home after 15 years

A Filipino woman who was on death row in Indonesia and was nearly executed by firing squad in 2015 has been sent to a female prison in the capital, from where she will be flown back to her home country.

Mary Jane Veloso, who spent almost 15 years in an Indonesian prison for drug trafficking, was allowed to return home after Indonesia and the Philippines signed a “practical arrangement” deal on December 6, after a decade of pleading from Manila.

In 2015 she was scheduled to be executed along with eight other drug convicts. Indonesia executed the eight others but Veloso was spared.

In a tearful interview with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Veloso described the decision as being “like a miracle when I have lost all hope.”

“For almost 15 years I was separated from my children and parents, and I could not see my children grow up,” she said. “I wish to be given an opportunity to take care of my children and to be close to my parents.”

Veloso, who will turn 40 next month, was arrested in 2010 at an airport in the Indonesian city of Yogyakarta, where officials discovered about 2.6 kilograms (5.7 pounds) of heroin hidden in her luggage. The single mother of two sons was convicted and sentenced to death.

Veloso has maintained her innocence throughout her 14 years of incarceration. She has spent her time in prison designing Indonesian batik clothing, painting, tailoring and learning other skills.

Just before midnight on Sunday, she was escorted through a crush of reporters outside a female prison in Yogyakarta into a waiting van that took her to Jakarta, about 460 kilometers (285 miles) away.

Wearing a black T-shirt and dark pants, she made only a brief comment to reporters, saying, “I’m so happy… Thank you so much and Merry Christmas!” from behind the vehicle’s window.

Veloso’s case caused a public outcry in the Philippines. She traveled to Indonesia in 2010 where her recruiter, Maria Kristina Sergio, reportedly told her a job as a domestic worker awaited her. Sergio also allegedly provided the suitcase where the drugs were found.

In 2015, Indonesia moved Veloso to an island prison where she and eight other drug convicts were scheduled to be executed by firing squad despite objections from Australia, Brazil, France, Ghana and Nigeria.

Indonesia executed the eight other convicts, and Veloso was granted a stay of execution because Sergio was arrested in the Philippines just two days ahead of her scheduled execution.

The reprieve provided an opportunity for Veloso’s testimony to expose how a criminal syndicate duped her into being an unwitting accomplice and courier in drug trafficking.

Yogyakarta female prison’s chief warden, Evi Loliancy, said Veloso was involved in various prison activities arranged by correctional officers, including organizing fashion shows featuring designs by inmates and learning how to dance.

“Mary Jane loves helping her fellow inmates, and she is able to motivate them to be creative,” Loliancy said. “She will miss us so much and so do we here.”

She said Veloso was very happy when she learned that she would be reunited with her family, but also a bit nervous and sad when she was about to leave. “But we all cheered her on and wish all the best for her,” Loliancy said.

Veloso will need to stay for a few days at the Pondok Bambu female prison in Jakarta while waiting for her flight tickets and travel documents, said Sohibur Rachman, an official at the Ministry of Immigration and Corrections.

Rachman said his ministry was coordinating with the Philippine Embassy in Jakarta on repatriating Veloso. He has not said when her return will take place but unconfirmed reports said her flight to Manila is scheduled for early Wednesday.

The United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime says Indonesia is a major drug smuggling hub despite having some of the strictest drug laws in the world, in part because international drug syndicates target its young population.

Indonesia’s last executions were carried out in July 2016, when an Indonesian and three foreigners were shot by firing squad.

About 530 people are on death row in Indonesia, mostly for drug-related crimes, including 96 foreigners, the Ministry of Immigration and Corrections’ data showed as of last month.

Five Australians who spent almost 20 years in Indonesian prisons for heroin trafficking returned to Australia on Sunday under a deal struck between the Indonesian and Australian governments.

Indonesia recently agreed in principle to return a French national to his home country.

Pakistan begins last anti-polio vaccination campaign of the year after a surge in cases

Pakistan began on Monday its last nationwide vaccination campaign for the year to protect 45 million children from polio after a surge in new cases hampered efforts to stop the disease, officials said.

According to the World Health Organization, Pakistan and neighboring Afghanistan remain the only two countries where the potentially fatal, paralyzing virus hasn’t been stopped,

Pakistan has reported 63 confirmed cases since January.

Ayesha Raza Farooq, the prime minister’s adviser for the polio eradication program, said the anti-polio drive will continue until December 22.

“As a mother, I am appealing to you to open your doors for health workers,” she said.

Pakistan regularly launches such campaigns despite violence affecting medical personnel who oversee the vaccinations and security forces escorting them. Militants falsely claim that vaccination campaigns are a Western conspiracy to sterilize children.

Authorities deployed thousands of police officers to protect the health workers following intelligence reports that insurgents could target them. However, gunmen opened fire Monday on police escorting polio workers in Karak, a city in the restive Khyber Pakhtunkhwa province, killing a police officer and wounding a health worker, local police official Ayaz Khan said.

More than 200 polio workers and police assigned for their protection have been killed since the 1990s, according to health officials and authorities.

The latest anti-polio drive campaign began a day after Prime Minister Shehbaz Sharif met with medical staff and vowed that Pakistan would win the war against polio.

Afghanistan reported at least 23 confirmed cases in 2024, according to data from the World Health Organization.

In September, the Afghan Taliban suddenly stopped a door-to-door vaccination campaign in Afghanistan, a devastating setback for polio eradication as the virus is one of the world’s most infectious and any unvaccinated groups of children where the virus is spreading could undo years of progress.

South Korea opposition will not seek to impeach acting president

South Korea’s main opposition party has decided not to impeach acting president Han Duck Soo, providing a critical lifeline to the country’s leadership amid continuing political upheaval over Yoon Suk Yeol’s short-lived declaration of martial law.

The news comes amid reports that Mr Yoon did not comply with a summons from prosecutors on Sunday. The authorities plan to issue another order as they investigate the martial law decree, the Yonhap news agency reported.

The Democratic Party, which holds a parliamentary majority, stated that further impeachment efforts could destabilise governance and deepen national “confusion”.

“Given that the prime minister has already been confirmed as acting president and considering that excessive impeachments could lead to confusion in national governance, we have decided not to proceed with impeachment procedures,” said Democratic Party leader Lee Jae Myung in a statement on Sunday.

This decision came a day after President Yoon’s impeachment, following his 3 December martial law decree, which lasted only six hours before being overturned by parliament.

The crisis has raised alarm domestically and internationally, with allies and markets seeking assurances of stability. Mr Han, a seasoned bureaucrat elevated to the role under constitutional provisions, moved swiftly to reassure South Korea’s partners and maintain the country’s diplomatic and economic footing.

Mr Han held a phone call with US president Joe Biden on Sunday to discuss the unfolding situation and regional security concerns, including North Korea’s nuclear threat.

According to statements from both governments, Mr Biden reaffirmed the “iron-clad commitment” of the US to South Korea, expressing confidence in the resilience of its democratic institutions.

“South Korea will carry out its foreign and security policies without disruption and strive to ensure the South Korea-US alliance is maintained and developed steadfastly,” Mr Han said in a statement issued by his office.

He also convened cabinet and National Security Council meetings, directing military readiness to prevent provocations from North Korea and tasking ministers with mitigating the economic fallout from the political turmoil.

The Democratic Party, which has been a fierce critic of Mr Yoon’s administration, emphasised the need for the swift resolution of the impeachment case, urging the Constitutional Court to expedite its review. The court has up to 180 days to decide whether to remove Mr Yoon from office or reinstate him.

“A prompt ruling is the only way to minimise national confusion and the suffering of people,” Mr Lee said during a televised address, further proposing a cooperative council between the government and parliament to stabilise state affairs during the interim period.

The special prosecution team handling the investigation into Mr Yoon’s failed attempt to impose martial law sent him a summons asking him to appear for questioning at 10am on Sunday but he did not show up, reported Yonhap.

Mr Yoon and a number of senior officials face criminal investigation on potential charges of insurrection, abuse of authority and obstructing people from exercising their rights.

The prosecution plans to issue another summons on Monday, the report added.

Prosecutors also sought arrest warrants on Sunday of senior military officials, including the head of the Army Special Warfare Command and chief of the Capital Defence Command, Yonhap reported.

The impeachment vote against Mr Yoon followed his unprecedented deployment of troops and police to block a parliamentary session aimed at overturning his martial law decree. The measure, which marked the first imposition of martial law in the country for over four decades, was widely condemned as unconstitutional.

South Korean law permits martial law only during wartime or similarly grave emergencies, and opposition lawmakers accused Mr Yoon of attempting to suppress parliamentary functions unlawfully.

Mr Yoon, who has denied wrongdoing, described the martial law declaration as a warning to what he called “anti-state forces” within the Democratic Party. “I will fight to the end,” he said in a defiant statement.

However, his actions led to significant political backlash, with key allies arrested, including his defence minister and police chief. Investigations into possible charges of rebellion are continuing, and Mr Yoon, while still immune from most prosecutions as president, faces potential treason charges. He has been banned from leaving the country.

Economic concerns have compounded the crisis. South Korea’s central bank pledged on Sunday to intervene decisively to stabilise financial markets, acknowledging heightened vulnerabilities in the current global economic climate. The Bank of Korea warned that this impeachment period presents greater risks than previous ones, given external uncertainties such as increased global competition and challenges in key industries.

The announcement followed a week of volatility in the markets, triggered by Mr Yoon’s declaration of martial law and subsequent impeachment.

Mr Han’s appointment as acting president has been met with cautious optimism internationally. Philip Turner, a former New Zealand ambassador to South Korea, said Mr Han’s experience and reputation will provide some reassurance to the country’s allies.

“He is capable, experienced, and well respected in foreign capitals,” Mr Turner said, adding that while South Korea’s professional bureaucracy is expected to maintain foreign policy continuity, the lack of a permanent leader could create difficulties in providing clear direction.

Mr Lee, the Democratic Party leader who has emerged as a frontrunner to replace Mr Yoon should the court rule against the president, called for investigations into all individuals and institutions involved in the martial law decision.

“An independent investigation by a special prosecutor must begin without delay,” Mr Lee asserted, referring to a recent parliamentary motion authorising such a probe.

As the Constitutional Court prepares to deliberate, South Korea faces months of uncertainty. If Mr Yoon is dismissed, a presidential election must be held within 60 days.

Meanwhile, the acting president is tasked with steering the nation through this volatile period, maintaining critical alliances, and navigating economic challenges. International partners are closely monitoring the situation, with Mr Biden and other leaders reaffirming their commitment to the US-South Korea alliance as the cornerstone of regional stability.

While the Democratic Party has tempered its impeachment drive, citing the need for national stability, its leaders remain focused on resolving the crisis and restoring trust in the government.

“The National Assembly and government will work together to quickly resolve the crisis that has swept across the Republic of Korea,” Mr Lee said. However, some within Mr Yoon’s People Power Party have accused Mr Lee of overstepping his authority in state matters, setting the stage for further political tensions in the weeks ahead.

Additional reporting by agencies

Russia has begun using North Korean troops ‘in significant numbers’

Russia has deployed North Korean soldiers in significant numbers for the first time to support its offensive in Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky said.

The Ukrainian president said North Korean troops are reportedly being used in assaults on Ukrainian forces defending an enclave in Russia’s Kursk region.

“Today, we already have preliminary data that the Russians have begun to use North Korean soldiers in their assaults. A significant number of them,” Mr Zelensky said during his nightly wartime address.

Mr Zelensky warned the deployment of North’s forces could extend to other battle zones. Kyiv estimates around 11,000 North Korean troops are now in the region, bolstering Russia’s forces.

Andrii Kovalenko, an official with Ukraine’s National Security and Defence Council, stated the North Koreans have already suffered casualties.

“The Russians are counting on numbers and are trying to carry out assault operations with the help of the Koreans, when the task of the Koreans is to run under the blows of our forces and occupy certain areas,” Mr Kovalenko wrote on Telegram.

The Kremlin has not confirmed or denied the involvement of North Korean troops.

Ukraine first reported the presence of North Korean soldiers in the Kursk region in October. This comes as Ukraine faces increasing pressure to hold the enclave it captured in August during a surprise incursion into Russian territory. The operation, aimed at diverting Moscow’s forces, has since drawn criticism for stretching Ukraine’s manpower across an already extended front line.

While Kyiv maintains the move was strategic, Moscow’s counteroffensive has led to some of its fastest territorial gains in eastern Ukraine since 2022, although Russian forces have reportedly sustained heavy casualties.

Ukrainian military reports indicate an escalation in fighting on the Kursk front, including intensified airstrikes, artillery barrages, and glide bomb attacks.

In a broader context, the deployment of North Korean troops underscores deepening ties between Moscow and Pyongyang. The two nations signed a defence treaty in June, committing mutual military aid in the event of an attack. Since then, North Korea has reportedly supplied Russia with over 100 ballistic missiles and millions of artillery shells. In return, Moscow has allegedly offered economic aid and support for Pyongyang’s nuclear weapons programme.

Mr Zelensky criticised the Kremlin’s actions, accusing Russian president Vladimir Putin of dragging another state into the conflict. “In essence, Moscow has dragged another state into this war, and to the fullest extent possible. And if this is not escalation, then what is the escalation that so many have been talking about?” he said.

The Ukrainian leader used his address to urge Western allies to strengthen their support for Kyiv. He is scheduled to meet leaders from Britain, France, Germany, Italy, Poland, Nato, and the EU in Brussels next week to discuss bolstering military aid.

Meanwhile, Russia’s defence ministry reported the destruction of 15 Ukrainian drones overnight, including 13 over the Black Sea and two in the Kursk and Belgorod regions.

Additional reporting by agencies

Five Bali Nine prisoners return to Australia after nearly two decades

Five Australians convicted as part of the infamous Bali Nine drug smuggling ring have returned home after serving nearly two decades in Indonesian prisons.

The transfer follows diplomatic negotiations between Jakarta and Canberra that culminated in a repatriation agreement earlier this month.

Prime minister Anthony Albanese confirmed the return of Matthew Norman, Scott Rush, Martin Stephens, Si Yi Chen, and Michael Czugaj in a statement on Sunday. “These Australians served more than 19 years in prison in Indonesia. It was time for them to come home,” Mr Albanese said.

The Bali Nine, a group of Australians arrested in 2005 while attempting to smuggle over 8kg of heroin from Bali, captured international attention. The two ringleaders, Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran, were executed in 2015, sparking diplomatic tensions and leading Australia to recall its ambassador in protest. Of the remaining members, the group’s sole woman, was released in 2018, while another member died of cancer the same year.

Mr Albanese expressed gratitude to Indonesia for its cooperation.

“We would like to convey our deep appreciation to the government of Indonesia for its cooperation to facilitate the men’s return to Australia on humanitarian grounds,” he said, highlighting the deal as a testament to the strong bilateral relationship and mutual respect between the two nations.

The men, who landed in Darwin on Sunday morning after being transferred from Bali, will now have the chance to rebuild their lives.

“The men will have the opportunity to continue their personal rehabilitation and reintegration in Australia,” Mr Albanese noted.

The Indonesian government provided details on the transfer, with senior minister for legal affairs Yusril Ihza Mahendra explaining the terms of the arrangement. The agreement bars the five from returning to Indonesia and ensures Australia upholds the original court rulings.

“Indonesia would respect any decision taken by Australia when the prisoners returned home, including if the group was granted a pardon,” Mr Yusril said earlier. He clarified that the transfer did not involve an exchange of prisoners.

Additional reporting by agencies

Chinese tourist’s body discovered under water in Malaysian diving spot

The body of a 31-year-old Chinese tourist has been recovered near Mabul Island, a popular diving destination in Sabah, Malaysia.

The victim, Zhang Cao, a solo traveller from Henan, Guangdong, China, was last seen near the island before he was reported missing.

Semporna district police chief Superintendent Mohd Sabri Zainol said the discovery was made following a search operation by the Semporna Marine Police, aided by divers from nearby resorts.

“We received a report at 11.33am on Friday regarding a missing male Chinese tourist in the waters near Mabul Island. Acting on this information, the Semporna Marine Police team, with assistance from divers, conducted a search and found the body at a depth of 17m,” Superintendent Sabri stated, reported The Star.

Zhang was found fully clothed in a light-coloured T-shirt, shorts, shoes, and a grey backpack, which contained a mobile phone and a few passport-sized photographs.

Authorities have launched an investigation and classified the case as a sudden death. “We urge anyone who has a missing family member or relevant information to contact us immediately. A post-mortem will be conducted within 48 hours if no next-of-kin comes forward to claim the body,” Supt Sabri added.

Those with information are encouraged to contact Assistant Superintendent Mohd Ali Amat, the investigating officer, at 013-212 0852, or reach the Semporna police station at 089-782 020.

Why I booked a one-way ticket to India during my midlife crisis

A troop of monkeys are attempting to steal a pickup truck. Plum-headed parakeets screech overhead. An incredibly large elephant lumbers past hundreds of pilgrims. All the more surprising given I’m on the steps of a ravishing seventh-century Indian temple. Despite being surrounded by chaos, I feel a deep sense of peace. This is my new normal.

Breathe in. Breathe out. After all, I’m here on doctor’s orders. Just days before, I’m fidgeting on my therapist’s couch. Ice-cold winter rain lashes against the windows of his Harley Street consulting room. “It’s clear you’re experiencing a midlife crisis,” he says breezily.

“Like, an actual proper one or…”

“The whole nine yards. Think KFC Family Bucket.”

“That bad?”

“Much worse. Add four signature fries, BBQ beans and a full-fat Coke and you’ve got the gist.”

He disdainfully eyes up the packet of cigarettes jutting from my trouser pocket before resting his gaze on my middle-age spread. “You’ve told me you’ve put on weight, abuse your body and have no discernible routine. You suffer from mood swings, anxiety and don’t sleep. Textbook stuff.” He clicks his £1,200 Mont Blanc pen to land his point.

The problem is, I know he’s right. I’ve not worked for three years, failed to take any responsibility for my rapidly inflating carcass and have less purpose than a fart in a thunderstorm. It’s clearly time for change. “I’m totally up for the work,” I say, three-quarters believing it. “But how?”

The therapist is distracted by the enormous white clock that presides over our sessions.

“Time’s up,” he says. “You’ve got to figure things out for yourself but in your shoes, I’d go to India, get healthy and explore your spirituality.”

I nod, entirely safe in the knowledge it will absolutely never happen.

But it does. Courtesy of a boozy lunch with encouraging chums I find myself booking a one-way ticket to India. In truth, I’d always wanted to go. Having never taken a gap year, I recall being slack-jawed with envy as friends told me of their backpacking adventures in the world’s most populated country. And by god, Indian food, how I adore thee.

Many recommend Rajasthan in the northwest of the country. Loads of great regal palaces and butter-rich curries in Jodphur and Jaipur. My more spiritually inclined friends suggest I join the hippy trail on the southwestern beaches of Goa. Meditation! Sound baths! Yoga retreats! Not me at all, but just what the therapist ordered.

I start my adventure in northern Goa, staying near the once-celebrated beaches of Vagator and Anjuna. My hopes of achieving spiritual nirvana are quickly dashed by the spectacle of red-chested Russian partygoers scarfing cocktails in Ibiza-style beach bars. The hippies are a tribe of the past. Many of them left during Covid, fleeing the beaches to the jungles after local laws were passed banning music here after 10.30pm.

I need to head to the local hills to find spiritual connection, I am told; it is here where I will find a psychedelic trance festival. Apparently I will meet yogis there. They will tell me how to achieve inner peace. I am greeted by a scene of 600 twentysomething middle-class Indians in tie-dye T-shirts. It feels like the equivalent of Cornwall for the monied classes.

Many appear to have ingested amphetamines. Many look like David Brent dancing to a metronome. One of the youths kindly offers me a glass pot containing a fragrant ointment. Assuming it to be a “herbal high”, I slather the substance on my fingers and lick them clean. They laugh. I don’t. I’ve just eaten a considerable amount of Tiger Balm, the Indian equivalent of Deep Heat.

I rush to the bar for water. The air is dense with smoke and whatever they are smoking is making everyone very hungry. The festival is flanked by food stalls, fresh fruits and pancake makers. I find nirvana of a culinary kind; a grill house serving smoky chicken tikka wrapped in butter-drenched rotis. They get the better of me; I eat two. The diet can wait until tomorrow. Before I leave, I meet my first actual real hippy and one of the last remaining in Goa. I tell him about my quest for enlightenment. “You won’t find it here my friend,” he chuckles. “Head further south.”

The next day I book a taxi and travel three hours down the Goan coast to Palolem Beach, ranked as one of India’s best. This is much more like it. A one-mile crescent is pleasing to the eye, as are the modest beach huts that flank the coastline. Better still, there are a multitude of calming yoga classes and Ayurvedic massage centres. I pursue inner calm in one of many massage tents down the coastline. The masseur (male, moustached and reassuringly squat) tells me has an urgent medical appointment and could we start earlier. This will later be chalked up as an error.

In the adjacent tent, a group are embarking on a sound healing course. At one point, it sounds like a woman is having a seismic orgasm, before she sobs uncontrollably. Figuring that this is my new normal, I try to get into the flow, but I can’t help but wonder whether I should have waited for a later appointment.

But this is India; anything goes. Apparently, the knots in my back are the size of small walnuts and will take at least three more sessions to remove. I will bring earplugs next time.

After a fortnight (yes a fortnight!) of massage, meditation and largely unsuccessful fat man’s yoga, I pluck up the courage to approach the metal detectorist who strides up the beach when the 31C sunshine begins to mellow. His name is Mark. He’s from Banbury. He’s convinced that there is hidden treasure on Monkey Island, which sits opposite Palolem. “It’s The Cross of Goa. Solid gold. Left by the Portuguese.”

When at home, Mark drives a medical supplies van, but he comes to Palolem at least once a year. He appears quite rational and indeed philosophically acute. “Life is like detectoring. When you start digging, you never know what you are going to find.”

That night, I consider Mark’s words. I realise I’ve been on my metaphorical beach too long and have stopped digging. I need a different kind of stimulation. Seven hours later, I’m outside the seventh-century temple batting away monkeys and elephants. I’m in Hampi, an ancient town and Unesco World Heritage Site in southwest India that was “rediscovered” in 1856 by Colonel Alexander Greenlaw, an amateur British photographer.

Virupaksha Temple, home to hundreds of mischievous macaque and langur monkeys, is one of thousands of ancient remains spread over 16 miles, encompassing temples, forts, royal palaces and bazaars. The temple’s resident elephant, Lakshmi, has holy status: she is believed by many Hindus to be the incarnation of the god Ganesha. (If you hand her a 10 rupee note, she’ll give you a blessing).

When I inhale the temple’s fragrant incense, I’m worlds away from the petrol-dense air of rain-lashed west London. The massage, yoga and meditation from the beaches of Goa are beginning to pay off.

In Hampi, history unfurls itself as seamlessly as a damask tablecloth at Claridge’s. There’s so much to digest that taking a guide is highly recommended. I’m with Ramesh, a local who’s been educating tourists for the best part of a decade. Over the course of three days, he (and chauffeur Ramu) drive me, in a classic Mahindra Scorpio, to dozens of sites, each with its own captivating story.

For the first time in years, I feel truly content. Able to let go and be in awe of my surroundings. It’s not just monuments that define Hampi. It’s also the surrounding towns that blend modern Pepsi advertisements with farmers driving ox-pulled carts, serving as a reminder of India’s recent agricultural past.

But it’s the boulder-strewn landscape that remains forever unforgettable; an alien mixture of the Arizona desert and the moon. Wherever you look granite rocks frame your eyeline, many of which sit precariously on top of each other like an Indian Stonehenge.

I make the decision to spoil myself and bust my budget to stay a couple of nights at a fancy hotel called Evolve Back. What I didn’t anticipate was that I was about to stay in the greatest hotel room of my life; a 2,600 sq ft house with its own private swimming pool, indoor and outdoor showers, an open courtyard and even a pillow menu to ensure the perfect night’s sleep.

As I settle into my enormous bath with a gin and tonic after a hard day’s sightseeing I reflect that midlife crises might not be that bad at all, if you are prepared to dig a little bit deeper.

It would be disingenuous to say that I returned to England a completely different person. The author Neil Gaiman was quite right when he wrote that “wherever you go, you take yourself with you”. However, I’m 3st lighter, happier than I’ve been in years and can just about touch my toes. I’ve dispensed with the expensive therapist, have replaced claret with kombucha and even have a new career as a theatre producer in the West End. If this is what the second half of my life looks like, I’m raring to go.

Justin Gayner was one of the creators of the TV show QI and flew with Air India