As students head back to school this fall, many parents feel the urge to do more — to book the tutor, add the extra math lesson, or squeeze in one more after-school activity “just in case.” 

The impulse comes from love and wanting our kids to have opportunities. But somewhere along the way, opportunity can turn into pressure.

During my six years of researching hundreds of high-achieving kids, I’ve found that the real engine behind long-term success is believing that your worth comes from your inherent value and your ability to make a positive impact on the world. 

I call it a “mattering mindset.”

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Many young people today are motivated by the fear that if they fall short, they will be less loved or accepted, as if their value hinges on their performance.

In 2021, I partnered with a Baylor University researcher to investigate the impact of achievement culture among young adults. Our survey — which was published in my book “Never Enough” — of nearly 500 students revealed a sobering finding: More than half believed their parents’ love fluctuated based on their performance.

Psychologists call this “conditional regard,” or parental affection that depends on a child meeting certain expectations, whether academic, athletic, or behavioral.

Children raised on conditional regard can become so afraid of mistakes that even minor setbacks can rattle their sense of self. It can erode self-worth, accelerate burnout, and leave them feeling purposeless once the accolades stop coming or vulnerable to depression when they experience setbacks.

We have to help our kids build a mattering mindset from the start. When children know they are valued despite the outcome, they are freed to take healthy risks, to learn from mistakes, to push harder, and to recover faster.

1. Get a PhD in your child

Become an expert in who they are. What makes them light up? What challenges do they hide? What strengths might others overlook? The more we understand their quirks and talents, the more they feel seen for their unique selves. Feeling known and loved is powerful fuel.

2. Remind them their worth is non-negotiable

When your child fails — gets cut from the team, bombs a test — remind them their value isn’t up for debate.

One mother I interviewed uses this exercise: She holds up a $20 bill. “What’s it worth?” she asks. Then she crumples it and dunks it in water. “What’s it worth now?” Still $20. No matter the setbacks, its value hasn’t changed, and neither has theirs.

3. Get curious, not furious

All children want to do well. If they aren’t thriving, take a step back and ask why. Is it an undiagnosed learning difference? A social conflict? A teaching style mismatch? Struggles are clues.

When we express anger over a child’s performance, it can break the parent-child connection. Curiosity preserves your relationship, and is a gateway to clean fuel.

4. Celebrate their ripple effect

Let them know when their actions make a difference. Whether it’s comforting a sibling, brightening a friend’s day, or coming up with a clever solution, take the time to remind them that their value goes far beyond their achievements.

5. Let your face light up

Too often, we’re so focused on preparing kids for the future that we forget to show them the joy we feel simply by being their parent. At least once a day, show warmth and affection regardless of performance. Let them know they are just as cherished on a bad day as on a good one.

If I could offer one piece of advice to parents this fall, it would be to worry less about the grades and more about the mindset you’re helping cultivate in your child — the one that fuels lifelong achievement.

Jennifer Breheny Wallace is an award-winning journalist and author of the New York Times bestseller ”Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic — and What We Can Do About It.” She lives in New York City with her husband and three teens. You can follow her on Instagram @jenniferbrehenywallace.

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Pursuing a STEM degree — which stands for science, technology, engineering or mathematics— has historically paid off well for college students. But earning that credential may require a lot of study time.

Many of the 10 colleges where students spend the most time studying have STEM-focused curriculums, according to The Princeton Review’s most recent rankings.

The publication surveyed students at nearly 400 U.S. colleges and asked how many hours they spend studying outside of class. Students at California Institute of Technology reported the most study time, followed by Harvey Mudd college.

All Caltech students — including English and history majors — complete a STEM-focused core curriculum, according to the school’s website. And notably, the curriculum is “extraordinarily” hard, the college says. Harvey Mudd exclusively offers Bachelor of Science degrees in a variety of STEM fields to its undergraduates.

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Below are the 10 most studious colleges, per Princeton Review’s rankings, along with tuition costs for the 2025-26 school year, according to each school’s website. Median earnings reflect the median incomes of students who started at each school and received federal aid 10 years ago, according to Department of Education data.

• 2025-26 tuition: $65,622
• Median earnings: $128,566

• 2025-26 tuition: $72,699
• Median earnings: $138,687

• 2025-26 tuition: $64,552
• Median earnings: $129,455

• 2025-26 tuition: $71,788
• Median earnings: $62,830

• 2025-26 tuition: $56,910
• Median earnings: $101,253

• 2025-26 tuition: $68,970
• Median earnings: $71,517

• 2025-26 tuition: $54,890
• Median earnings: $66,240

• 2025-26 tuition: $66,496
• Median earnings: $91,410

• 2025-26 tuition: $65,210
• Median earnings: $110,066

• 2025-26 tuition: $64,310
• Median earnings: $143,372

No. 1-ranked Caltech prides itself on its world-renowned science and technology research. Students there “work together to solve the problems of tomorrow, while enjoying great weather,” a survey respondent wrote for The Princeton Review.

Caltech alumni include astronaut Frank Borman, who commanded the first team of astronauts to circle the moon, and Intel co-founder Gordon Moore, as well as 17 Nobel Laureates, the school reports. The school was also named the seventh-best university in the world in 2025 by Times Higher Education, which ranks global institutions on their faculty reputations and research contributions.

Though some of the most-studious colleges have rigorous non-STEM programs, STEM majors at any given school tend to spend more time studying than their peers in other majors.

First-year undergraduate students in STEM majors spend an average of 17.1 hours a week preparing for class, compared with 15.6 hours a week on average among humanities, communications and social science majors, according to the 2024 National Survey of Student Engagement.

The survey — which polled nearly 476,000 students at 771 institutions — found first-year students across disciplines spend an average of 15.8 hours a week on work outside of class.

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One of the most common myths about long-term relationships is that couples eventually run out of things to say. It’s easy to believe: Life gets busy, routines take over and conversations become more about logistics than connection.

As a psychologist who studies couples, and based on my own experience being happily married, I know how tricky communication can become if you’re convinced there’s nothing left to say. But couples in healthy relationships make a habit of talking about things that matter, every single day.

Their conversations stay fresh, connected and meaningful because they never stop learning about each other. Here are five things people in the happiest relationships talk to each other about every day — that most people neglect.

Couples in thriving relationships always make a point to check in and make sure the other partner is happy.

On some days, that means asking: “Do you feel loved? Supported? Connected?” Other days, it’s about expressing appreciation, sharing a laugh over a favorite memory or talking about something they’re looking forward to doing together.

Having these daily check-ins help prevent small misunderstandings from growing into larger issues.

In the strongest relationships, both partners stay curious about what excites the other. It could be a song they can’t stop listening to, a book they’ve been devouring, a hobby they’re exploring or even a TikTok that made them laugh.

Regardless of whether their interests overlap, they stay curious about each other’s passions. This is what keeps the spark alive.

Over their years together, these little updates remind one another of perhaps the most important thing to remember in a relationship: “We’re constantly growing and evolving, and we’re doing it together.”

Happy couples are never stuck in the present or past. They often have conversations about long-term goals: owning a home, traveling more, starting a business or raising kids.

They also don’t shy away from less practical, more whimsical topics, like what they’d do with a year off, how they’d renovate their dream kitchen or where they’d go if money wasn’t a concern.

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Discussing dreams, no matter how realistic or farfetched, keeps the relationship future-oriented by instilling a joint sense of purpose and possibility. Even if a dream can’t be acted on right away, talking it over allows them to keep track of each other’s values.

Happy couples aren’t uncomfortable bringing up what’s bothering them. A healthy relationship should feel like a safe space where couples can work through their troubles together as a team.

Whether it’s a tough day at work, a lingering insecurity or even a fear about the relationship itself, they trust their partner to respond with empathy.

Over time, this daily practice of being emotionally honest builds a rock-solid sense of safety. Both partners will never feel like they have to carry their baggage alone.

Even a half-formed musing can be a fun way to connect. Happy couples never think twice about sharing their random ideas: their shower thoughts, their “what-ifs,” their “this just popped into my head” theories.

And these don’t always have to be deep or profound. In fact, they’re usually pretty silly, weird or seemingly irrelevant. Adding a little bit of playfulness and spontaneity into every conversation also makes space for laughter and even intimacy.

I always remind couples that a big part of building a successful relationship is about being intentional with the conversations you choose to have. Couples who stay connected day after day create a shared space for curiosity, growth and joy.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling, and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

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Movement can be one of the most powerful tools for long-term health. The earlier you start building strength, balance, and mobility, the better equipped you’ll be to maintain your independence and well-being later in life.

As a physical therapist and fitness trainer, there are seven key movements I encourage my clients to work on. If you can perform them with control and without pain, especially if you’re in your 30s and 40s, your body is aging better than most.

Keep in mind, though, that everyone is different. I always recommend consulting with a health or fitness professional before trying anything that may be too strenuous.

Push-ups train key muscle groups used in everyday tasks like lifting luggage, getting off the floor, or pushing heavy doors.

They’re also a surprisingly good indicator of cardiovascular health. A 2019 study found that men who could do 40 push-ups in one set had significantly lower risk of heart disease than those who could do 10 or fewer.

Workout tip: Make sure you keep your body in a straight line from head to heels. Squeezing your glutes and bracing your abs will protect your spine and give you more stability.

Grip strength, which pull-ups demand, has been linked to lower mortality rates as we age.

Pull-ups engage your back, shoulders, arms, and core. These muscles support posture and strength for real-life scenarios like carrying groceries, opening tightly closed lids, and even holding onto a pole to prevent yourself from falling while taking public transportation.

Workout tip: If you’re new to pull-ups, try dead hangs, in which you hang from the bar with arms fully extended. Practice building up to 30 seconds.

Your ability to balance on one leg is a key predictor of longevity. In fact, studies show that people who can’t balance on one leg for at least 10 seconds in their 50s have higher risk of mortality.

Workout tip: Try slowly lowering yourself onto a bench or chair using one leg, then stand back up. Aim for 10 reps per side without losing control or balance. This move strengthens your quads and stabilizers, which are crucial for activities like walking downstairs or playing sports.

This move strengthens the posterior chain (your hamstrings and glutes), which helps prevent low back pain and improves walking and running efficiency.

Training this muscle group is important because research has shown that it leads to better outcomes when it comes to pain, disability, and overall muscle strength.

Workout tip: Stand on one leg, hinge at the hips while keeping a soft bend in the knee, and reach your other leg back behind you. Do 10 reps per side. The goal should be to do 10 repetitions without losing your balance or needing to touch the ground with the opposite leg for balance.

As you age, you lose muscle power (your ability to express a lot of work within a short period of time) much more quickly than muscle strength.

According to one study, power decreases about 10% per decade after age 40. Maintaining explosive strength helps with agility, fall prevention, and playing recreational sports well into older age.

Workout tip: Squat jumps need to be done safely, especially if you’re new to them. You don’t need to jump sky-high. Start with low jumps and gradually increase height.

A hop and stick is a controlled jump followed by a strong, balanced landing on the same leg. It’s one of the most demanding athletic moves, challenging your balance, coordination, and joint stability.

Impact activities like this can help improve bone mineral density as well as tendon health, protecting against osteoporosis and injury.

Workout tip: Stick the landing with control to build both power and balance.

The split squat isometric hold is a great exercise to build lower body strength and stability. An isometric hold is when your muscles are not lengthening or shortening, but maintaining a given range.

The leg in the back will improve hip flexor mobility, which tends to get tight when sitting for an extended period of time. The leg in the front will improve quadriceps strength which is another great predictor of longevity.

Workout tip: Try your best to keep your hips square (both hip bones should face forward). Avoid twisting or leaning over your front leg.

Andy Fata-Chan is a physical therapist and the founder of Moment Physical Therapy and Performance, which specializes in helping patients with chronic debilitating pain get back to high performance. His experience ranges from youth athletes to Olympic and professional-level athletes.

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Amid a slowing economy and stagnant job market, even career experts aren’t sure what advice to give job seekers.

The current market has pushed job seekers and recruiters alike into “truly uncharted territory,” according to Morgan Williams, founder and CEO of professional coaching program PeakHR.

“You can’t rely on tactics that we’ve always done, because we’re in a market we’ve never been in before,” she says. “As much as I can say to do this or do that, it’s really, really important to understand that we are all guessing.”

She emphasizes to job seekers that struggling with unemployment is not their fault: “You can be doing everything and still not get the job,” Williams says.

“This is just a crazy market for both sides,” she continues. “You cannot beat yourself up. You have to be so kind to yourself, because you need every ounce of energy that you have.”

Here are Williams’ tips for navigating the challenges of today’s job market.

Build your network “before you need it”

According to Williams, “a lot of people are networking way too late.”

In general, Williams says, it’s best to work on building your network “before you need it,” but many people only reach out to their connections when they’re on the job market.

If your first interaction with someone is to ask them for a favor, they tend to “feel used,” Williams says.

“Nobody just wants to hear, ’I need, I need, I need,” she says.

Before reaching out to a not-so-close connection, Williams recommends doing some extra research on their career and their current role.  

“Too often, people just blindly reach out and say, ‘I need help with this,’” she says. Instead, “show them how you value their work or why you think this person can even be helpful to you.”

At networking events, don’t spend too much time talking about your own career, she says. Asking questions is a great way to build relationships: “People love talking about themselves, so you should allow them to.”

Don’t overlook alumni groups or volunteer organizations as potential spaces for networking, Williams says. Job seekers often forget that their connections outside of work could help them in the job search, too.

Let go of perfection

Now is not the time to hold out for your dream job, Williams says.

Many companies are offering lesser titles or lower pay than before. To avoid draining their savings, job seekers may have to take any position they can get, Williams says.

“I think a lot of people hold on too long just to have that perfect title,” she says. “We’re not in a market for perfection. We’re in the market to pay bills.”

For job seekers struggling to land full-time roles, temporary and contract positions can be good alternatives, she says.

According to Williams, the current job market requires us to “challenge our norms and beliefs” about work and take advantage of all opportunities.

“This is not the time to put your nose up,” she says. “I think we really have to go into survival mode.”

Take care of your well-being

Navigating the job process can be extremely fatiguing, Williams says.

“There’s an emotional load, there’s a physical load, and there’s a mental load, so you’re going to have to figure out how to take care of yourself,” she says.

It’s tempting to retreat inside the safety of your home, but according to Williams, staying connected with the outside world is crucial for your mental health.

“The biggest thing is to get outside your head,” she says. “You are your own worst enemy.”

She recommends finding a positive outlet like volunteering to pursue during your free time.

“If you have nothing else to do with your time and you feel like you’ve reached your limit, finding a purpose is really important,” she says.

Maintaining your relationships is key, too: while working on job applications, Williams recommends asking friends and former colleagues what they think your best attributes are.

Not only will they give you good material for your cover letter, she says, but their kind words will also put a “pep in your step.”

“I think you need that reminder that you do good work and that you are valued,” she says.

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