When we think of successful kids, many of us picture straight-A students, sports trophies, and college acceptance letters.

But after years of studying over 200 parent-child relationships, I’ve found that true success is more about raising kids who are confident, emotionally secure, and deeply connected to themselves and the world around them.

The parents who really understood this embraced sometimes unconventional strategies that prioritized curiosity, a love for learning, and emotional intelligence over societal expectations.

Here are nine things they did differently early on:

Instead of worrying so much about how their kids reacted to challenging situations, these parents understood that their behavior would influence their child’s level of resilience. They modeled mental and emotional strength by being mindful of how they managed their stress in front of their kids.

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Instead, they encouraged reflection with “you should be so proud of yourself” or “you worked very hard on this — how does it feel?”

While well-meaning, “good job” can create reliance on external approval. These parents focused on fostering intrinsic motivation, helping their child take pride in their own achievements.

Through quality time, active listening, and shared experiences, they made their kids feel valued, safe, and understood. This also fostered the child’s confidence to take risks and thrive.

They avoided punishment, knowing it builds resentment and disconnection, not skills. Instead, they let natural consequences teach lessons.

For instance, if a child forgot to do their homework, they faced explaining it to their teacher — a chance to learn responsibility and problem-solving. This approach built accountability and resilience.

Instead of offering rewards for good grades, they focused on cultivating a love for learning. Whether their child excelled or struggled, they kept the focus on growth and made it clear that grades didn’t define their worth.

They encouraged their kids to ask “why” and “how,” rather than simply accepting the “right” answer. This fostered curiosity and gave their child the confidence to challenge the status quo — key traits of future leaders.

Whether solving a math problem or explaining a favorite game, these moments gave kids a sense of importance. By stepping back and letting their child take the lead, these parents showed respect for their child’s abilities and nurtured their self-esteem.

Reading wasn’t a chore — it was woven into daily life. Whether picture books before bedtime or novels on lazy afternoons, reading became a natural and enjoyable part of their world, fostering creativity and a lifelong love for learning.

They treated emotions as valuable, not something to fix or avoid. When their child was upset after losing a game, for example, they might have said, “I can see how much this matters to you. It’s hard to lose something you care about.” This simple validation helped their child process emotions and build resilience.

Reem Raouda is a parenting coach, mother, and creator of BOUND, a parent-child connection journal designed to nurture emotional intelligence and self-worth. She is also the founder of Connected Discipline Method. Through her coaching and courses — including Power Struggles No More — she has helped hundreds of families foster connection and harmony. Follow her on Instagram.

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We’ve all dealt with emotionally immature people: They get defensive at the slightest criticism, they constantly deflect blame, and then they try to guilt you into feeling sorry for them.

Emotional immaturity is a growing problem, and whether it’s in your personal or professional life, communicating with them can be a real struggle.

As experts on the psychology of communication, we know that if you’re not careful, you can also easily run the risk of seeming emotionally immature to others. Why? A lot of us automatically use certain emotionally immature phrases without even thinking about it.

Here’s a list of the most common ones to avoid:

People who are emotionally immature often won’t take responsibility for their own actions when something goes wrong. So what do they do? They extricate themselves from situations by immediately stating that they are not to blame. 

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An emotionally immature person will do everything in their power to not take responsibility for their actions, and a common tactic is to make it seem like you, or literally anyone else, is in the wrong — not them.

You can almost imagine a little kid saying this one. This phrase is a way for them to avoid any true accountability or genuine communication with the person they are engaging with.

This is a combo of gaslighting — trying to make others believe a false reality — and shifting the blame again. The message they’re sending: You’re the problem, not me. Another toxic phrase in this vein is “you’re being too sensitive.”

People use that simple “whatever,” often with a shrug, to say, “I’m done discussing this.” It’s an emotionally immature method to shut down the paths of communication and figuratively walk away from any further discussion.

Here we go again with the gaslighting. People who are emotionally immature rewrite reality, both for themselves and, possibly more importantly, for others. When someone says something like this, they’re typically trying to evade responsibility and make you think something else happened.

In this case, emotionally immature people walk away from any complicated issue by throwing it onto someone else and dismissing any and all responsibility. It’s the perfect example of transference.

Another example of invalidating other people, and one that is used in both personal and professional relationships. By saying phrases like this, an emotionally immature person is dismissing the other person’s concerns and opinions, and belittling their reaction.

Yes, it’s usually best to focus on the future. But emotionally immature people will often accuse people who bring up their mistakes of harping on the past. They don’t want to learn from their mistakes and they don’t want an honest discussion about whatever is happening. They want to move on without addressing the issue.

Here’s an example of how emotionally immature people passive-aggressively avoid taking responsibility for what they say. It might sound like they’re trying to smooth things over, but it’s actually more of a way of critiquing someone, then distancing themselves from their statement. 

Emotionally immature people often use broad generalizations. Instead of engaging in constructive honest conversation or using specific examples, they will issue an accusatory blanket statement and use that to avoid any further discussion. 

If there’s one phrase that really sounds like a kid said it, it’s this one. How many of us used “but all the kids are doing it” argument trying — usually in vain — to get our parents to allow us to do something? But emotionally immature adults use it, too.

They’ll pull out the time-honored “everyone’s doing it” argument as a justification for something they want to do or already have done. Of course, they’re blameless if they’ve done something wrong, they were just going along with the crowd, after all.

Kathy and Ross Petras are the brother-and-sister co-authors of the New York Times bestseller You’re Saying It Wrong, along with other popular language books, and co-hosts of the award-winning NPR syndicated radio show and podcast ”You’re Saying It Wrong.” They’ve also been featured in media outlets including The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, The Washington Post and Harvard Business Review. Follow them on Bluesky.

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You may feel ready for spring, but we have a solid stretch of winter still ahead of us, and our immune systems continue to be put to the test every day. There are colds and flus and other viruses still going around. And many of us also feel a strain on our mental health with less mood-boosting sun exposure.

You might be drawn to various supplements and feel more inclined to reach for comfort foods. But as a nutritional psychiatrist, I know these aren’t necessarily the best options for keeping the body and mind strong throughout the colder, darker days of the winter season.

We’re incredibly dependent on the health of the gut, which houses about 70% of the immune system. Similarly, our mental fitness is impacted by the health of the microbiome via the gut-brain connection. 

That’s why I always recommend people take extra good care of their gut this time of year. It’s what I do to maintain my own wellbeing — making intentional and mindful dietary choices.  

Here are some of the top foods I’ll be leaning on for the rest of the winter to keep my immune system strong, my energy levels high, and my mood bright.

Lemons, limes, oranges, grapefruits, and more! Citrus fruits are an excellent source of antioxidant vitamin C and contain a good amount of fiber. This combination supports the gut, brain, and immune system.

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I love adding lemon to my afternoon green tea ritual. I use a squeeze of fresh lemon and lemon zest on my salads. If I have clementines, I add a few segments of those to my salad, too. I also love making a lemon vinaigrette to add to roasted vegetables — a staple of my daily meals.

Leafy greens are essential in my diet and I try to eat several servings each day.

I love my daily salad, for example, and add as many colors and textures as I can to change it up. In the winter, it’s quick and easy to toss in some spinach just before eating my favorite Tuscan bean stew so the leaves meld into the hot liquid. And I make crispy chips out of baby spinach and kale for a great afternoon snack.

These leafy greens are loaded with folate, a B vitamin that helps to regulate neurotransmitters in the brain and has been linked to a reduced risk of depressive symptoms. They’re also a great source of fiber to keep my microbiome balanced and the immune system strong. 

Protein-rich foods like wild-caught salmon, organic tofu, grass-fed beef, pasture-raised eggs, and poultry are rich in B vitamins. This group of vitamins is so important for the nervous system, I try to make protein-rich foods part of my diet year-round. During the gloomy winter months, getting enough B vitamins can help optimize my mood and vibrancy. 

I toss organic tofu with my grandmother’s masala spice blend and crisp it up in the air fryer. I like to add spicy chickpeas and legumes to my soups or salads too. By changing up the spices, I can enjoy South Asian, Mexican, Greek, and other flavors. 

If you choose not to consume animal products, you may consider supplementing vitamin B12 or adding nutritional yeast to your diet, but always discuss with your doctor first.

These include sauerkraut, kimchi, miso, plain yogurt, and kefir, among others. Fermented foods are naturally rich in live strains of good bacteria.

I incorporate these into my daily meals throughout winter for the health of my microbiome and the delicious flavors. I love adding kimchi to my daily salad or making miso-glazed sweet potatoes — one of my favorite recipes that I developed for my first book, “This Is Your Brain on Food.”

Especially during colder seasons, I love having lots of warming spices in my diet. Turmeric, black pepper, cinnamon, ginger, saffron and cayenne pepper are all loaded with micronutrients and antioxidants. They may help reduce the chronic inflammation that is associated with low mood and poor immunity. 

I particularly enjoy sipping on a cup of golden milk, a.k.a. a turmeric latte, and add spices into whatever other foods and beverages I’m already making, including roasted vegetables, salad dressings, tea, smoothies, and even healthy-ish desserts. 

Dr. Uma Naidoo is the MoodFoodMD, a Harvard-trained nutritional psychiatrist, professional chef, and nutritional biologist. She’s an instructor at MasterClass and the author of “Calm your Mind with Food” and the national and international bestseller “This is Your Brain on Food.”

Want to up your AI skills and be more productive? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Use AI to Be More Successful at Work. Expert instructors will teach you how to get started, practical uses, tips for effective prompt-writing, and mistakes to avoid. Sign up now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+ taxes and fees) through February 11, 2025.

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how we handle it can make all the difference.

As a psychotherapist who has worked with over 100 couples, I’ve seen how small changes in communication can fundamentally transform the way they work through disagreements together.

But in the happiest and most successful relationships, couples use an effective tool that I like to call the “5-Second Pause Rule.”

Have you ever noticed how quickly a minor disagreement with your partner can spiral out of control?

I’ve seen so many fights start with an offhand comment or a forgotten chore. Before both people know it, they’re arguing about issues much bigger than what they started with. Suddenly, old arguments are being rehashed, or new ones are appearing out of thin air.

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This is where the 5-Second Pause comes in. The idea is simple: When you feel a conversation starting to heat up, pause for five seconds before responding. In that short time, your brain gets a chance to cool down, shift out of a reactive mode, and engage with your partner in a more thoughtful and loving way. 

And this tactic isn’t based on a hunch — it’s backed by research. In one study of over 6,000 trials, researchers found that taking a brief pause during moments of rising tension significantly reduced the likelihood of conflicts escalating.

When you’re both calm and receptive, sit down with your partner and explain how taking five seconds to pause during heated moments can help the both of you stay connected and avoid saying things you’ll later regret.

It’s important that you both agree to use this tool — it works best when it’s a shared effort.

1. Create a plan together

This is the fun part: Decide how you’ll implement the rule. Should conflict arise in the future, what will your signal be to put it into action? Will you hold up a hand or say a specific code word? The end goal should be to set out the best way for you both to pause without feeling dismissed.

Make sure you’re very clear about when it’s appropriate to use this rule, and when it’s important to keep the conversation flowing. The rule should be used as a preventative measure; it doesn’t grant you immunity from important yet difficult conversations.

2. Practice it in the moment

Consistency is key. The next time you and your other half wind up in a tense conversation, take a step back, breathe, and count to five.

Use this time to ground yourself and to consider what you want to say next. Those few seconds are all it takes to help you respond from a place of understanding, rather than defensiveness. You might be surprised by the impact it has — not just on the argument, but on your relationship as a whole.

Jourdan Travers, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and clinical director at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling and coaching. She also helps curate the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org. Jourdan received her MSW from The University of Maryland and her B.A. in psychology from California State University Northridge.

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During her 15 years at Microsoft, “I was looking at thousands of resumes a year,” says Sabina Nawaz.

Nawaz, who served in roles such as Director of Human Resources, eventually left to start an executive coaching company where she’s been working with senior leaders. She has a book coming out in March, “You’re the Boss,” about how to be a good manager.

Among the resume red flags she suggests job seekers avoid are general statements that give no sense of what the candidate did in previous positions.

And here are two of her top job interview red flags.

Many jobseekers have a hard time adhering to the parameters of the job interview. “I cannot tell you the number of people who simply don’t get the basics right,” says Nawaz.

Those could include:

• Being on time for the interview
• Making sure your camera and audio are working correctly
• Making sure you have researched the people and organization you’re interviewing with
• Dressing appropriately
• Following up with a “thank you” note

These mistakes can come off as inconsiderate or disrespectful of your prospective employer’s time. They can also give a negative impression of “how you show up at work,” she says.

By “not outlining your strengths in the best way possible,” she says, you’ll miss an important opportunity.

The job interview is a chance to flesh out what you can do as a worker with in-depth examples. When Nawaz works with her clients, she tells them to find 20 to 30 anecdotes of projects or experiences that “they’re proud of the results and they enjoyed doing,” she says. These can be drawn from both personal and professional lives.

Once they’ve identified those achievements, she has her clients look for patterns: What strengths do those anecdotes highlight? Pick out the ones most relevant to the job, she says, and reframe them within a story that’s half about the problem and then half about the resolution.

If you can deliver these stories correctly in an interview, you end up “looking like a hero,” she says.

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