When we think of successful kids, many of us picture straight-A students, sports trophies, and college acceptance letters.

But after years of studying over 200 parent-child relationships, I’ve found that true success is more about raising kids who are confident, emotionally secure, and deeply connected to themselves and the world around them.

The parents who really understood this embraced sometimes unconventional strategies that prioritized curiosity, a love for learning, and emotional intelligence over societal expectations.

Here are nine things they did differently early on:

Instead of worrying so much about how their kids reacted to challenging situations, these parents understood that their behavior would influence their child’s level of resilience. They modeled mental and emotional strength by being mindful of how they managed their stress in front of their kids.

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Instead, they encouraged reflection with “you should be so proud of yourself” or “you worked very hard on this — how does it feel?”

While well-meaning, “good job” can create reliance on external approval. These parents focused on fostering intrinsic motivation, helping their child take pride in their own achievements.

Through quality time, active listening, and shared experiences, they made their kids feel valued, safe, and understood. This also fostered the child’s confidence to take risks and thrive.

They avoided punishment, knowing it builds resentment and disconnection, not skills. Instead, they let natural consequences teach lessons.

For instance, if a child forgot to do their homework, they faced explaining it to their teacher — a chance to learn responsibility and problem-solving. This approach built accountability and resilience.

Instead of offering rewards for good grades, they focused on cultivating a love for learning. Whether their child excelled or struggled, they kept the focus on growth and made it clear that grades didn’t define their worth.

They encouraged their kids to ask “why” and “how,” rather than simply accepting the “right” answer. This fostered curiosity and gave their child the confidence to challenge the status quo — key traits of future leaders.

Whether solving a math problem or explaining a favorite game, these moments gave kids a sense of importance. By stepping back and letting their child take the lead, these parents showed respect for their child’s abilities and nurtured their self-esteem.

Reading wasn’t a chore — it was woven into daily life. Whether picture books before bedtime or novels on lazy afternoons, reading became a natural and enjoyable part of their world, fostering creativity and a lifelong love for learning.

They treated emotions as valuable, not something to fix or avoid. When their child was upset after losing a game, for example, they might have said, “I can see how much this matters to you. It’s hard to lose something you care about.” This simple validation helped their child process emotions and build resilience.

Reem Raouda is a parenting coach, mother, and creator of BOUND, a parent-child connection journal designed to nurture emotional intelligence and self-worth. She is also the founder of Connected Discipline Method. Through her coaching and courses — including Power Struggles No More — she has helped hundreds of families foster connection and harmony. Follow her on Instagram.

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When I was struggling in high school calculus, a teacher knocked my intelligence with this gem: “I guess you’re either born with it, or you aren’t.” 

But as an expert in leadership and mental strength, I’d argue he was wrong — and I’m pretty sure Steve Jobs would agree. 

“Have you ever thought about what it is to be intelligent?” The legendary Apple cofounder asked his audience in 1982 when he won a “Golden Plate” award from the Academy of Achievement. “Probably some of you have, right? Because you meet your friend, and he’s pretty dumb, and maybe you think you’re smarter and you wonder what the difference is?”

A lot of it, he said, is the ability to zoom out and make connections that other people can’t see. 

“You have to not have the same bag of experiences as everyone else does — or else you’re going to make the same connections.” What comes through in stories from some of the most creative, innovative, and successful people, he said, is that “they had a variety of experiences which they could draw upon in order to try to solve a problem or attack a particular dilemma in a kind of unique way.” 

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That’s it. You become vastly smarter when you’re good at making new and interesting connections, which you’re able to do with a vast array of experiences.

Sounds simple in theory. But in practice, it’s easy to get stuck in the same old patterns and ways of doing things instead of accumulating new experiences. 

Breaking out of these periods of malaise requires mental strength — a topic I cover in depth in my book, “The Mentally Strong Leader” — and the discipline to make four commitments to yourself:

A friend told me she’d been miserable in her job for years and wanted to start over in a new city. She’d also quietly blamed her partner all that time, assuming he’d never move away from his family.

After we talked, she accepted responsibility for the pattern she’d fallen into and discussed a move with her partner, who was actually eager to accommodate.  

Sometimes we fall into a rut and look at everyone and everything around us as the reason we’re in that rut. But getting  “unstuck” starts with you. Be honest if you’ve put yourself in “park” and take ownership to get back in “drive.”

This commitment is about recognizing the specifics of the pattern you’ve fallen into and the habits weighing you down. For example: 

• You repeatedly tell yourself, “I’ll wait.”  
• You tend to avoid new challenges when they arise. 
• You’re always justifying why you’re stuck where you are.
• You’re continually convincing yourself that “things will change.” 
• You want things to change, but don’t want to change them yourself. 

You recognize patterns like these by having the discipline to step back once in a while to work on your life, not just in it. Ask yourself: Where and how do I seem stuck? Where am I holding myself back from things I want to accomplish, or the life I want to live? 

If it helps, talk these questions through with a friend who knows you well. 

When you’re stuck in a rut, you tend to repel challenges in favor of staying in your comfort zone. You’re in a mode of repetition and choose the path of least resistance. You’re not challenging much of anything — your assumptions, the status quo, or yourself.  

Remind yourself how exhilarating it can be to be challenged. Start with something small and doable. It could be anything, like attempting to play pickleball or finally taking Spanish lessons.

Begin to feel the thrill of learning, growing, and building your bank of experiences to draw from. 

It’s hard to change course if you don’t have a destination. Ask yourself: Where do I want to go? What’s my new goal? What’s next?  

When you have that goal, write it down. Research shows that just by writing down your goals, you’re far more likely to achieve them versus simply thinking about them. You’re likelier still to succeed when you tell a friend, and even more so when you regularly share your progress.

Start by taking a single, small step. Maybe you want to get out of that nowhere job and into an industry you’re passionate about. Schedule lunch with a friend who works in that industry. Maybe you want to break out of a stale routine of chores and errands you and your partner have fallen into, so you schedule a weekend adventure to somewhere you’ve never been before. You get the idea. 

Even the tiniest step can be invigorating — helping you start accumulating new experiences and making novel connections. And that’s just smart.

Scott Mautz is a popular speaker, trainer, and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He’s a former senior executive of Procter & Gamble, where he ran several of the company’s largest multi-billion-dollar businesses. He is the author of ”The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors.” Follow him on LinkedIn.

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If you made student loan payments last year, there’s a good chance you can get a break on your taxes.

Don’t forget about the student loan interest deduction, which allows taxpayers to deduct the amount they paid in student loan interest from their taxable income. Taxpayers can deduct up to $2,500 or the amount they paid in interest on qualifying loans in the given tax year, whichever is lower. 

Qualifying loans include both federal and private student loans used to pay for higher educational expenses. Plus, it can be loans you took out for yourself or a spouse or dependent. 

Higher earners may not be able to deduct the full amount of interest they paid, however. The maximum amount is reduced for single taxpayers with a modified adjusted gross income between $80,000 and $95,000 a year in 2024 and for married joint filers earning between $165,000 and $195,000. 

Your MAGI is equal to your adjusted gross income plus independent retirement account contributions, student loan interest, foreign earned income and other credits and deductions you may take.

The Internal Revenue Service has a worksheet to help you determine how much you’re able to deduct if your income falls in those thresholds. Taxpayers earning above those thresholds may not deduct their student loan interest payments. 

If you paid at least $600 in student loan interest in 2024, your loan servicer should send you a 1098-E form for you to report to the IRS. If you paid less than that, contact your servicer to obtain the exact amount of interest you paid during the tax year.

This deduction has been around since 1997, but there is a chance it could be eliminated under President Donald Trump’s administration. 

From the campaign trail through his first few weeks in office, President Trump has proposed extending and/or expanding tax cuts for corporations and households, but doing so would require a decrease in federal spending to offset the costs. Congress would need to identify areas to rein in government spending or bring in more revenue from taxes to keep the federal budget in balance. 

One target could wind up being the student loan interest deduction, according to a Republican Congressional memo first reported by Politico. The memo from the Ways and Means committee outlines a number of proposals, including Medicare and Affordable Care Act reforms, and estimates how much money each action could generate. The entry proposing elimination the student loan interest deduction estimates doing so could save the federal government $30 billion over 10 years. 

None of the proposals in the memo are finalized or officially included in active legislative bills yet, and for now, eligible borrowers can take advantage of the student loan interest deduction when they file their taxes.

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Rent the Runway co-founder and CEO Jennifer Hyman — who has led the fashion company since its inception — has an effective three-step routine to get out of work mode.

Once she leaves the company’s Brooklyn, New York, office, she turns on music — last year, that meant a lot of Beyoncé’s “Cowboy Carter” album — and then gets out of her work clothes the minute she gets home, she says.

“I will change out of my outfit ASAP and put on my Eberjey pajamas immediately,” she says. “I’m in my door, and I throw off my clothes, and 20 seconds later, I’ll be in my pajamas.”

Then she puts her phone in another room while she plays with her three children, she says.

Hyman’s post-work routine includes effective strategies for anyone working a demanding job. Listening to music and playing can release “feel-good hormones” like dopamine and serotonin, according to multiple studies. Since the way you dress can influence how you think and feel, research shows, changing into luxury pajamas could, in fact, help you be more present at home.

Mentally disconnecting once you’re no longer on the clock, whether by walking outside, indulging in a hobby or just resting, can be both personally and professionally good for you, research suggests. It can starve off burnout and boost creativity and productivity when you are back at work.

Some executives, like Glassdoor CEO Christian Sutherland-Wong, set hard boundaries to maintain work-life balance. Sutherland-Wong doesn’t answer emails or work calls when he’s with his children — and if a crisis arises, he’ll go into his home office to respond, rather than telling his kids to wait while he addresses the problem on his phone. That helps him to keep “space” between his CEO and father roles, he told CNBC Make It in 2024.

“Whether you’re a CEO or if you’re packing boxes in a warehouse, you are still spending an enormous amount of time away from your family and away from your friends and away from your hobbies,” Hyman says.

As much as possible, she makes choices with balance in mind. That can mean planning early-morning or late-night flights to maximize the time she’s physically with her kids, for example.

“All of us have to be intentional about how we optimize that time,” she says, “and how we make sure that it’s fulfilling to us and creating memories for us.”

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During her 15 years at Microsoft, “I was looking at thousands of resumes a year,” says Sabina Nawaz.

Nawaz, who served in roles such as Director of Human Resources, eventually left to start an executive coaching company where she’s been working with senior leaders. She has a book coming out in March, “You’re the Boss,” about how to be a good manager.

Among the resume red flags she suggests job seekers avoid are general statements that give no sense of what the candidate did in previous positions.

And here are two of her top job interview red flags.

Many jobseekers have a hard time adhering to the parameters of the job interview. “I cannot tell you the number of people who simply don’t get the basics right,” says Nawaz.

Those could include:

• Being on time for the interview
• Making sure your camera and audio are working correctly
• Making sure you have researched the people and organization you’re interviewing with
• Dressing appropriately
• Following up with a “thank you” note

These mistakes can come off as inconsiderate or disrespectful of your prospective employer’s time. They can also give a negative impression of “how you show up at work,” she says.

By “not outlining your strengths in the best way possible,” she says, you’ll miss an important opportunity.

The job interview is a chance to flesh out what you can do as a worker with in-depth examples. When Nawaz works with her clients, she tells them to find 20 to 30 anecdotes of projects or experiences that “they’re proud of the results and they enjoyed doing,” she says. These can be drawn from both personal and professional lives.

Once they’ve identified those achievements, she has her clients look for patterns: What strengths do those anecdotes highlight? Pick out the ones most relevant to the job, she says, and reframe them within a story that’s half about the problem and then half about the resolution.

If you can deliver these stories correctly in an interview, you end up “looking like a hero,” she says.

Want to up your AI skills and be more productive? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Use AI to Be More Successful at Work. Expert instructors will teach you how to get started, practical uses, tips for effective prompt-writing, and mistakes to avoid. Sign up now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+ taxes and fees) through February 11, 2025.

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