Small talk often gets a bad rap. It can feel awkward, superficial and pointless at times — if you’re doing it wrong.

But it’s one of the most powerful tools in your arsenal to build relationships, exude a strong presence and even lift your mood. 

The problem with most small talk is that it’s happening on autopilot, which means that people are asking questions they can already predict the answers to, such as: 

• “How are you?” 
• “How’s the weather?”  
• “How was your weekend?”

When you ask autopilot questions, you can almost guarantee you’ll get autopilot responses: 

• “I’m good, thanks. How about you?”
• “It’s so cold!”
• “My weekend was good, thanks. How about yours?”

Want the antidote to autopilot small talk? Use conversational threading.

Conversational threading is a technique that leads to more meaningful interactions by creating or pulling on “threads” — or compelling little tidbits that encourage more flowing and interesting conversation. 

It can help you have better conversations in your personal and professional life, whether you’re in a job interview, at a networking event, in a team meeting, at a party, or in line at a coffee shop.

Here’s how to use it: 

Offer a few threads people can pull on

Let’s say you’re asked the autopilot question “How was your weekend?” Instead of giving a rote answer, you might say: “My weekend was great! I went hiking and celebrated my niece’s birthday.” You’ve now offered two threads: They can ask about your hike or your niece. 

Here are a few more examples to help you improve your replies to common small talk prompts:

Question: “What brings you to [place/event]?“
Autopilot answer: “I’m here for work.“
Better answer: “I’m here hoping to learn more about [X topic] to help my team achieve [Y goal]. I’m excited to meet others looking to do similar things. How about yourself?”

Question: “How are you?“
Autopilot answer: “I’m good. Busy as usual, you know how it is!“
Better answer: “I’m good! Work has been keeping me on my toes, but I just started a new project that I’m really excited about. How about you?”

Question: “How’s it going?” 
Autopilot answer: “Things are good on my end.“
Better answer: “I’ve been focused on wrapping up [X project], and I’m excited to share it at the all-hands next week. I’d love to hear your thoughts after!”

Pull on other people’s threads

Active listening is key if you want to identify threads to pull on. For example, if you ask someone where they’re from and they respond with “San Francisco,” our natural inclination is to then share where we are from, and then the conversation might fall flat. 

Instead, pull on that thread of information you’ve been given and ask a follow up question like, “What’s your favorite part about living there?” 

You can also share your own experiences with San Francisco to keep the conversation going. When you share more about yourself, it can often prompt the other person to be more open to sharing as well.

If you’re stuck on how to continue a conversation because the other person isn’t giving you any threads to pull on, make an observation about something you see. This works particularly well in situations like video calls, where you can comment on or ask about something in that person’s background, like a piece of art or photo (or the virtual background they’ve selected). 

Ask better questions to prompt threads

You can encourage more engaging conversation by tweaking your small talk questions to better facilitate conversational threading. For example: 

Common question: “How are you?“
Better question: “What are you excited to be working on?”

Common question: “How was your weekend?
Better question: “What was the highlight of your weekend?”

Common question: “What brought you to this event?“
Better question: “What’s been your favorite takeaway so far?”

Having a few go-to questions in your back pocket can be especially helpful if you’re still practicing this technique.

Tweaking your small talk questions and responses to use more positive language — words like “excited,” “highlight” and “favorite” — primes you and the other person to think about your conversation more positively. 

Try using positive words as you provide and pull on threads next time you talk to someone. I’m excited for you to have deeper, more interesting conversations from here on out.

Lorraine K. Lee is an award-winning virtual keynote speaker and CEO of RISE Learning Solutions. She’s also the best-selling author of “Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influencer, and Catapult Your Career,” which was named a must-read by the Next Big Idea Club. She teaches popular courses with LinkedIn Learning and Stanford Continuing Studies. Past clients include Zoom, Cisco, LinkedIn, ASICS, McKinsey & Company, and many others.

Want to be a successful, confident communicator? Take CNBC’s online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. We’ll teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, calm your nerves, what to say and not say, and body language techniques to make a great first impression. Get started today. 

In millions of homes around the world, we’re having the same fights about money. One partner feels anxious, the other buries their head in the sand to avoid talking about it. One agonizes over the budget, the other spends on whatever they want.

We avoid discussing finances, and in the process, we allow money to drive a wedge between us. But in my new book, “Money for Couples,” I offer a 10-step program for building a shared vision around money, even if you and your partner see money completely differently.

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One core component of this involves combing through you and your couple’s spending habits. And for 90% of the people I talk to, food — whether eating out or ordering in — is the biggest category where there’s money to free up and redirect into something that matters more.

There are lots of reasons that restaurant spending seems to slip through our fingers. Food is emotional — buying dinner is about a lot more than just hunger. It’s about convenience, impulsivity, reward and more.

Tracking restaurant and takeout spending as a couple can be fairly complicated: One of you might buy lunch at work. The other might have a monthly dinner with friends. You pick up a pizza for the kids and pay with the $20 you have in your coat pocket. You grab something on your way home and don’t have the right credit card with you. Maybe you’ve got bigger kids, and you’re Venmo-ing money to them so they can get food with some friends.

It’s a mishmash, and it can easily get away from you.

For tracking, be vigilant about using the same shared credit card for anything that counts as eating out. That will help. Second, be kind and supportive of each other — changing habits around food can be tricky.

Here are some ways people I’ve worked with slashed funds on eating or ordering in — and redirected their money:

“During the pandemic we found a butcher that started delivering to homes, and we’ve continued to place a monthly order. We freeze it, so we always have delicious cuts of meat ready to cook every weeknight. Because we now do weeknights at home, we don’t worry about eating out on weekends.” -Mary

“I think the hardest part of not eating out is missing out on the vibe. I’m still figuring out how to get the energy of being in a crowded restaurant — that’s what I love most about dining out. One of my goals is to start a themed potluck dinner party with friends where everyone brings something — still economically efficient, food is fresher, and you get all the social vibes.” -Lauren

“We were eating out at least five to six days a week; the only meal we were making at home was breakfast! Now, we cook every Wednesday and Sunday and we eat leftovers at least one night, which saves us a ton of money. I allocate my part to credit card debt. It’s hard after a long day to cook and clean up afterward, but watching that debt go down is rewarding.” -Rosana

The goal is to get honest about your invisible spending and overspending. Start by having a candid talk with your partner: What are you spending too much on? Where can you cut back?

The more you have open, honest conversations about these things, the easier it will be to spend meaningfully.

Ramit Sethi is the host of Netflix’s “I Will Teach You to Be Rich” and bestselling author of “I Will Teach You to Be Rich.” For more than 20 years, he’s shared a unique blend of money and psychology with an audience of millions. His new book, “Money for Couples,” is out now.

Want to earn some extra money on the side? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Start a Side Hustle to learn tips to get started and strategies for success from top side hustle experts. Pre-register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through April 1, 2025.

Excerpted from “Money for Couples by Ramit Sethi,” copyright ©2024 by Ramit Sethi.  Used with permission of Workman Publishing Co., Inc., a subsidiary of Hachette Book Group, Inc.

For a long and healthy life, what you eat, and how, is what’s most important, says Valter Longo. “Some dietary interventions are much more powerful than we had imagined,” he tells CNBC Make It.

Longo has studied longevity for about 20 years in Italy, but began researching the topic in 1989. Using animal models, like mice, he and his fellow researchers found that certain diets can repair cells, reduce inflammation and increase the efficiency of cancer treatments like chemotherapy.

“The human data is starting to indicate this is probably true also [in] humans,” he says. “But there are more clinical trials needed to know what the mechanisms are in people.”

Still, he says it is possible to eat in a way that promotes good health and longevity — and even help reduce your risk of developing cancer.

1. Fasting-mimicking diet

Longo is the director of the Longevity Institute of the Leonard Davis School of Gerontology at the University of Southern California-Los Angeles, and developed the fasting-mimicking diet. The FMD is a 5-day diet “high in unsaturated fats and low in overall calories, protein and carbohydrates.”

Adhering to the diet involves fasting for 12 hours a day, for the five days: “You eat, say 8 a.m. to 8 p.m., and you fast 8 p.m. to 8 a.m.” Longo says.

Longo suggests cancer patients fast for about 14 hours a day, in five-day intervals. A 2017 study published in JAMA Oncology found that women with breast cancer who fasted for 13 hours or more had a lower risk of breast cancer recurrence than women who didn’t.

“The 14 hours should not be combined with the actual cancer treatment,” Longo advises. “Let’s say they get chemotherapy once a month, then they should stop a few days before.”

Wait a few days after treatment before starting the diet again, he adds.

Practicing the FMD just two to four times a year can greatly benefit people who follow the standard American diet.

2. Longevity diet

Longo’s “longevity diet” draws from a lot of different things, most notably the Okinawa and Mediterranean diets.

He says adhering to the diet means your daily meals include the following:

• Mainly vegan ingredients
• Generally low in fruit, but high in vegetables
• Tree nuts
• Whole grains like brown rice and quinoa
• Legumes
• Fish (3-4 times a week)

A longevity diet should have protein, but no more than the recommended daily serving, and consist of “very little cheese,” Longo says. He also suggests avoiding red meat and white meat, like chicken and turkey, and to generally go light on animal-based products.

Want to earn some extra money on the side? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Start a Side Hustle to learn tips to get started and strategies for success from top side hustle experts. Pre-register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through April 1, 2025.

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Most couples think they know each other well, but real intimacy is a lot more than just being able to name your partner’s favorite food or TV shows.

As a psychologist, I’ve found that people in the happiest, most successful relationships see in their partner what others can’t or would normally overlook.

If you can answer these five questions below about your partner, your relationship is built on a highly coveted level of understanding and connection. (And if you don’t know the answers? It’s the perfect excuse to start asking.)

We all have those moments that stick with us for life — something a high school teacher said in passing, a compliment from a stranger or a minor rejection that still stings years later.

These events might seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but they can radically alter the way we see ourselves, and they rarely come up in casual conversation.

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If you know about one of these small core memories in your partner’s life, it means you’ve had the kind of deep conversations that reveal the invisible threads of their personhood.

When life gets hectic, everyone has their own way of mentally checking out. Some fantasize about quitting their job and moving to a remote island. Others scroll real estate listings for cities they’ll never move to, or envision alternate versions of their life.

This is so much more than just a quirky habit; it’s a window into how your partner copes with stress. If you know the answer, it means you understand their inner workings, and that’s a rare kind of closeness.

We all have social scenarios that make us feel uneasy. Maybe your partner dreads small talk at parties, or they hate ordering at a restaurant in a group setting.

Knowing what makes your partner uncomfortable means you can be a source of support in situations where they might otherwise just grin and bear it. This is a sign that you’re truly attuned to their subtle mood changes — something that the untrained eye wouldn’t notice.

Whether we like it or not, we inherit certain habits from our upbringing — some good, some bad. For example, maybe your partner has a hard time accepting compliments because they never got any growing up.

If you know what habit your partner struggles with, it means you’ve had the vulnerable conversations about the family dynamics that shaped them into who they are today. These are the kinds of details most people don’t get the chance to learn, or simply don’t care to.

Everyone has accomplishments that they’re secretly proud of, but refrain from announcing to the world.

Maybe your partner once helped a stranger in a way that changed their life, or they pushed through a health, family or finance-related struggle that no one knows about. 

If you know about any of their unsung victories, it means your partner feels safe enough to share their most humble, meaningful moments with you. That kind of trust is invaluable in a relationship.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

Want to up your AI skills and be more productive? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Use AI to Be More Successful at Work. Expert instructors will teach you how to get started, practical uses, tips for effective prompt-writing, and mistakes to avoid.

Tax season officially began on Jan. 27 when the Internal Revenue Service started accepting returns, and chances are you haven’t gotten around to it yet.

That’s fine; no one expects you to get up that morning and run downstairs to find your calculator and little green visor. Doing your taxes isn’t fun, and you have until April 15 to get it done.

But 31% of Americans say they’re procrastinating on preparing a return, according to financial services company IPX1031 — and tax experts say they’re making a big mistake. That’s because, whether you expect a refund or a bill, getting a surprise close to the deadline is rarely a smart move, says Ryan Losi, a certified public accountant and executive vice president with Piascik.

“It’s always nice to be able to have it buttoned down early,” he says. That way, you know “where you’re going to land.”

What’s more, filing early reduces the chances that criminals can file a return in your name to claim your refund for themselves — a form of fraud that would be devastating for millions of Americans. Nearly 4 in 10 taxpayers rely on their refund to make ends meet, according to a recent survey from Credit Karma.

But even if you’re in good shape and not worried about fraud, here’s why getting a start on your taxes early this year is likely a smart move.

For many younger Americans, procrastinating on taxes comes from a fear of the unknown. Among Gen Z filers who wait until the last minute, 26% say its because they don’t want to know what they owe, according to a recent survey from Credit Karma.

To an extent that’s understandable. Having a potential, amorphous bill looming can be scary, especially if money is tight. But putting a dollar figure on what you may owe as early as possible is the best way to deal with it, says Courtney Alev, head of tax and consumer financial advocate at Credit Karma.

“If you wait to the last minute and you’re actually getting a big tax bill instead of a refund, the deadline is there, and it’s coming, and you haven’t made a plan for how you’re going to address that,” she says.

If you prepare your taxes ASAP and find out that, indeed, you owe the IRS, you have until April 15 to make a plan, says Losi.

“Maybe you have enough set aside to pay it,” he says. “But if you don’t, now you can spend the next two months saving some of your paycheck in order to pay it.”

If you had your employer withhold too much of your pay for taxes throughout the year, you can expect a refund when you file. And for many Americans, that’s a big deal.

Not only do 37% of filers say they rely on their refund to make ends meet, but 47% plan to use their refunds to pay down debt, according to Credit Karma. In other words, millions of Americans rely on their refund to reach important financial goals. Delaying that refund could have negative ramifications, says Alev.  

“If you’re putting off filing, it could put some of your other goals, like paying off your credit card, at risk,” she says.

And even if you don’t need the money urgently, you’re better off having your refund and putting it to use than letting the government hang onto it without paying you any interest. Simply put: the sooner the file, the sooner that refund money hits your bank account.

Just because you start the process of preparing your taxes early doesn’t mean you have to file them right away. There are certain taxpayers for whom it makes sense to wait awhile.

If you have a brokerage account that earned dividend income or through which you realized a capital gain this year, for instance, you may not be ready to file yet, says Losi.

“You’re going to have to wait for that brokerage statement to come in, which will likely come in early March,” he says.

The same principle applies to trust beneficiaries and owners or investors in any type of passthrough entity, such as an S-corporation, who will have to wait for their Form K-1 to arrive before filing.

But even for those people, Losi recommends at least getting the ball rolling by plugging some estimates into your tax preparation software. Plus, you’ll know which documents you need to have handy when you do file.

“You want to at least have your numbers together early — then you can decide when to actually file,” he says.

Want to earn some extra money on the side? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Start a Side Hustle to learn tips to get started and strategies for success from top side hustle experts. Pre-register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through April 1, 2025.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.