What’s in short supply for just about everyone these days? A sense of control and influence. 

Things might seem like they’re increasingly out of our hands, impossible to understand let alone alter. But the truth is that you can have more influence — at least in your immediate circles — with just a few words.

I’ve been studying how influence works for 30 years, and even wrote a popular book about it: “Leading from the Middle: A Playbook for Managers to Influence Up, Down, and Across the Organization.” 

Here are six phrases that will give you more influence over people — both at work and in life. 

Everyone likes praise. But it becomes influential when you give a special brand of praise I call “informed encouragement.” That is, encouragement that’s backed up with specific reasons and rationale.

DON’T MISS: How to start a side hustle to earn extra money

For example, you could just say “Great job!” to your child. Or you can say, “Great job! You worked hard studying for that test, tackling material that didn’t come easily. You persevered and learned a lesson about overcoming obstacles.” 

The specificity gives the praise credibility and power. When the recipient understands what they did well, sees why it matters, and knows that you notice and appreciate it, they’ll be more motivated to do it again.

One of the easiest ways to have more influence is to truly listen. Think of how drawn you are to someone who’s really attentive, and how frustrated you feel when you know they’re not. 

As a listener, you have two goals:

1. Understand what’s being said.
2. Show the other person you’re interested, engaged, and invested in them and what they’re telling you.

You accomplish all of this by asking questions and prompting them at the right moments to “tell you more” (or asking, “What happened next?” or, “How did you feel about that?”).

As you listen, use acknowledging rather than discounting language. For example, instead of saying, “Oh, it’ll be okay,” try something like, “I hear you, sounds like you’re frustrated with your husband’s behavior right now.” 

By using validating, empathetic language, you’ll make people feel heard rather than dismissed. You’ll build the trust it takes to earn respect and influence.

The key here is the “er,” a subtle but powerful word change. I’ll explain. Influence is sometimes about appealing to people’s desired identity. For example:

• Don’t ask people to help, ask them to be a helper.
• Don’t ask them to lead, ask them to be a leader.
• Don’t ask them to listen, ask them to be a listener.

You’ll get a “yes” far more often. After all, who wouldn’t want to be thought of as a helper, leader, or listener? These are all identities we’d love to be associated with. 

This language swap also works to discourage undesirable actions. In one psychology study, participants were given the opportunity to claim money they weren’t entitled to. Some were instructed, “Please don’t cheat,” and others, “Please don’t be a cheater.”

Those who heard the latter — who were instructed with an appeal to their identity — showed no evidence of cheating because the experimenters had invoked “people’s desire to maintain a self-image as good and honest.”

The key here is “you have.” This is about helping people feel ownership of ideas, and motivating them to move forward. It’s a subtle form of influence, but it works. Think about it: Would you be more excited to work on someone else’s idea, or one you came up with? No contest. 

Let’s say a coworker shares an idea you were thinking about too, something you’d really like to implement. You know you’d need your peer’s help to make it happen. You could try to wrestle credit away from them and make them less inspired to help, or you can say, “That’s a good idea you have. Let’s run with it.”

Just like that, you’ve linked your agenda to their agenda. 

Notice I didn’t say, “Can I get your help?” Seeking advice is far more influential.

People often feel flattered that you value their opinion and expertise and because you’re asking for their advice, they’ll try to see things through your eyes. They’ll often become your supporters as a result, because now they’ve invested in you by sharing their wisdom. 

This is about supporting the people around you as you’d like to be supported, and understanding human nature to trigger good will and reciprocity. 

Offering to help someone with something that’s important to them — and, crucially, following through to make good on your offer — makes them more likely to want to help you with something that’s important to you down the line. 

Scott Mautz is a popular speaker, trainer, and LinkedIn Learning instructor. He’s a former senior executive of Procter & Gamble, where he ran several of the company’s largest multi-billion-dollar businesses. He is the author of ”The Mentally Strong Leader: Build the Habits to Productively Regulate Your Emotions, Thoughts, and Behaviors.” Follow him on LinkedIn.

Want to earn some extra money on the side? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Start a Side Hustle to learn tips to get started and strategies for success from top side hustle experts. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through April 1, 2025.

Jamal Robinson didn’t learn about money management from his parents.

But last year Robinson, 40, retired from his corporate career as a tech executive in generative AI and moved to Dubai. He now has no debt and $3.6 million across his investment, savings and checking accounts.

“As far as the information that I learned that I use today, which has allowed me to become a multimillionaire and invest, a lot of this has come from books,” Robinson tells CNBC Make It.

Here are three books that shaped his money strategy.

Robinson says he read “The Millionaire Next Door” at “a very young age.”

The book broadened his perceptions of the wealthy and “allowed me to see that a millionaire is someone who is frugal” and is “emotionally disciplined,” Robinson says.

This resonated with him, given his modest means while growing up. Both of his parents were in the military and worked hard to provide for Robinson and his sisters. Robinson began earning his own money at age 14 as a church janitor and went on to work fast-food jobs through high school and college.

Robinson started his post-college career in the power and energy industry before switching to tech, where his salary skyrocketed. As his pay grew, he kept his personal spending in check and instead saved and invested up to 90% of his earnings.

While Robinson’s aggressive saving helped him retire early, his scarcity mindset can make it hard for him to enjoy his money in the moment.

“I still, even to this day, view myself as this minimum-wage guy making $5.15 an hour,” he says. “I would make a $1 million a year, and I would struggle to spend over $50 on an item.”

He’s in the process of repairing his relationship with money thanks to reading “Die With Zero,” which encourages readers to spend and give away their money in impactful ways within their lifetimes.

These days, Robinson says he spends more money than he’s used to. He plans to live off at least 5% of his investment portfolio a year, which is about $185,000 in 2025. That means reconfiguring his habits to spend his money in meaningful ways, like on world travel, eating healthfully and prioritizing his physical and emotional wellness.

Finally, Robinson says “The Psychology of Money” is more generally applicable to most people.

The collection of short stories explores how and why people make financial decisions, and how psychology can work for or against them.

Robinson says it’s helpful to learn about how other people manage their money, whether it’s through books or talking with friends and colleagues.

As he grew in his tech career and worked alongside high earners, “I would just always ask [financial] questions, and be really deliberate and take advantage of the opportunity of the minds that I had around me that had accomplished more and had been older,” Robinson says.

Want to earn some extra money on the side? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Start a Side Hustle to learn tips to get started and strategies for success from top side hustle experts. Pre-register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through April 1, 2025.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.

If Mark Cuban were a kid again, he’d do two simple things to set himself up for success as an adult, he says.

“When I talk to kids today and they ask me what I would do if I were 12 today, my answer is always the same, read books and learn how to use [artificial intelligence] in every way, shape and form you can,” the 66-year-old billionaire entrepreneur wrote on social media platform BlueSky last week. “It is a living library that gives you responses and can help no matter who you are or where you live.”

″[It] just takes a smartphone, curiosity to experiment and a mindset to learn,” Cuban wrote in a follow-up post.

The first part of Cuban’s advice isn’t new: He’s preached the value of voracious reading for years. “I read everything I can. I don’t care what the source is,” he told CNBC Make It in 2018, adding that he dedicates “four to five hours a day” to it. That habit is a commonality among many highly successful entrepreneurs, including fellow billionaires Bill Gates and Richard Branson.

As for the AI element, 70% of the skills used in most jobs could change due to the technology by 2030, according to LinkedIn’s 2025 Work Change report. But few young Americans use AI regularly right now — 11% of Americans ages 14 to 22 say they use generative AI once or twice per week, found a 2024 report from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, Common Sense Media and Hopelab.

DON’T MISS: How to use AI to be more productive and successful at work

Cuban has previously likened the technology to the early days of personal computers, particularly for future entrepreneurs. “You don’t necessarily have to be great at AI to start a company, but at some point, you’re going to have to understand it,” he told “The Colin Cowherd Podcast” in 2022. “It’s just like the early days of PCs. You didn’t have to be good at PCs, but it helped. Then networks, then the internet, then mobile.”

Notably, Cuban has a financial interest in popularizing the technology: He’s an investor in multiple AI companies, including search engines DIRT and Samaya AI. But he’s not blind to at least some of its flaws, telling Wired last year that a puppy would be a better problem-solver than current AI systems.

“A dog can sense issues,” said Cuban. “Nothing about a self-driving car understands what’s adversarial or not. If it hasn’t seen it, it has no idea. Whereas a dog is going to understand. I think smart puppies are smarter than AI is today or in the near future.”

Longer term, the future of AI in business is unclear. It could range from the creation of more AI-infused services to a simpler rise in the number of employees who use chatbots to write first drafts of their emails or presentations.

Kids can benefit from getting ahead of those developments, Cuban told CNBC Make It last year. If he were a teenager in need of extra cash, he’d start a side hustle around learning how to write AI prompts, he said.

“Then, I would go to businesses, particularly small- to medium-sized businesses that don’t understand AI yet,” said Cuban. “Doesn’t matter if I’m 16, I’d be teaching them as well.”

Disclosure: CNBC owns the exclusive off-network cable rights to “Shark Tank,” which features Mark Cuban as a panelist.

Want to up your AI skills and be more productive? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Use AI to Be More Successful at Work. Expert instructors will teach you how to get started, practical uses, tips for effective prompt-writing, and mistakes to avoid.

Cold and flu season has been brutal this year — have you taken any time off?

For U.S. workers, being able to take a sick day with pay isn’t a guarantee. The U.S. is one of few developed countries that doesn’t have a law requiring employers to offer paid days off for sick leave, or any other kind of family or medical leave for that matter.

In the absence of a federal law, workers rely on a patchwork of state laws or their private-sector employer for sick leave coverage. Even so, 50% of U.S. workers don’t even know what paid sick leave they’re entitled to through state and local laws, according to a 2023 survey of 1,000 workers sponsored by Theraflu and conducted by Wakefield research.

That’s where AI can come in, says Reshma Saujani, founder and CEO of Moms First, an organization that supports women’s economic empowerment and legislative policies for moms. She’s also the founder and former CEO of Girls Who Code, the nonprofit that aims to close the gender gap in tech.

In 2023, she launched a site called PaidLeave.ai, a generative AI chatbot where parents and caregivers can ask questions based on their circumstances, then access and apply for state paid family leave benefits.

“When you looked at the states that did offer paid leave, the uptake levels were so low,” Saujani says. A small share of workers, roughly 3% to 7%, actually leverage their state’s benefit for paid family or medical leave each year, according to 2024 data from New America, a liberal think tank.

Saujani says workers are reluctant to take paid sick leave, even if they have access to it, “because the programs are really complex, and it requires going through pages and pages and pages of government websites, and people just give up.”

That has a domino effect and creates a perception that people don’t want to tap into their paid leave even if it’s offered, Saujani says: “If the policy is not taken advantage of, it gets cut. And I think that’s a really important lesson for paid leave, and why I think generative AI is a great solution for that.”

Saujani’s latest work, in partnership with Theraflu and A Better Balance, a nonprofit legal advocacy group for working families, aims to help workers understand their rights related to paid sick time.

“People don’t know about their benefits,” Saujani says. They wonder: “Do I live in a state that offers paid leave? Do I work for a company that offers paid leave? And so I think this idea of just knowing your rights and knowing whether you know you have paid sick time is really critical.”

The joint “Right to Rest and Recover” initiative offers an educational hub and free, confidential legal helpline to help people understand what paid leave options they’re entitled to. Visitors without access to paid leave through their employer can also apply for $200 microgrants intended to cover one day of unpaid sick leave.

Saujani recognizes that the American reluctance to take paid time off, even when they have access to it, also comes down to social stigma.

“I worked in finance, I worked in law, and you came to work sick — that was the culture,” she says. “We really saw the price of that during Covid, where all of a sudden the culture shifted and it was like, no, don’t come to work when you’re sick.”

However, “it feels as though we’re reverting back as people are returning back to the office,” she adds. “We’re going back to kind of this kind of hustle work culture. Honestly, it’s why I feel like everyone is sick again [now], because there isn’t that same sense of, ‘Well, I should stay home and rest.’”

Want to earn some extra money on the side? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Start a Side Hustle to learn tips to get started and strategies for success from top side hustle experts. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through April 1, 2025.

Plus, sign up for CNBC Make It’s newsletter to get tips and tricks for success at work, with money and in life.

As a leadership consultant who studies workplace psychology, I’ve spent more than 30 years helping thousands of individuals and CEOs at multimillion-dollar organizations navigate tough relationships and achieve success.

Out of all the different personalities I’ve worked with, ambiverts stood out the most. Because they have tendencies of both introversion and extroversion, they can leverage inward reflection and outward interaction in a strategic and balanced way.

Ambiverts are also ambitious and goal-oriented. Their sharp observational skills help them see both the bigger picture and potential pitfalls — all while building a community around them to help them achieve their vision.

If you identify with any of the traits below, you might be an ambivert. Here’s what makes this personality type so underrated and more successful than their extroverted and introverted peers.

1. You are very selective when it comes to social engagements.

You don’t seek interaction just for the sake of it. You carefully evaluate which opportunities align with your goals, values and energy levels. This allows you to be fully present and able to contribute in every interaction.

DON’T MISS: How to start a side hustle to earn extra money

2. You turn solitude into a superpower.

Time alone isn’t just relaxing — it’s productive. You use alone time to process, reflect and plan, rather than as an escape. After a long day, you step back to recharge in a way that makes you emerge with fresh insights and ideas.

3. You are fluent in speaking introvert and extrovert.

You are highly adaptable and skilled at adjusting your approach to match the other person’s energy or preferences. You’re equally at ease diving into deep conversations with quieter individuals and engaging in dynamic, intense discussions with people who are more outgoing.

4. You can take the lead, but you also know when to step back.

You excel at commanding attention but know when to let others shine. You pivot effortlessly between leading and listening during group discussions.

5. You speak to make progress, not noise.

Extroverts often speak when they shouldn’t, and introverts often don’t speak when they should. But as ambivert, you know when to talk and when to listen.

6. You act with intention and perfect timing.

You have an extraordinary ability to read situations and people: Who holds influence? Who is disengaged? Where are the real opportunities where you can contribute? You are constantly analyzing all the details of a given interaction, and you know exactly when to step in.

7. You can turn boring interactions into opportunities.

When faced with boring or irrelevant meetings or conversations, you don’t just zone out. Instead, you scan the room to identify interesting people — those you could benefit from engaging with to reach your goals. This way, you turn what others might view as “wasted time” into valuable connections.

8. You are a versatile problem-solver.

Because of your deep self-awareness skills, you understand both the rational aspects of a problem and the emotional sensitivities for the people involved. This gives you a unique ability to devise a solution that works for everyone.   

For extroverts, this is all about developing the skills to thrive in quieter, more introspective moments. Here are three simple things you can try:

1. Pause and think before speaking: In conversations, count to three before responding. This gives others space to contribute and ensures your input is thoughtful.
2. Practice silent observation: In meetings or group settings, observe dynamics without speaking. Pay attention to who talks, who listens and how decisions are made.
3. Schedule alone time: Block out 30 minutes each day for journaling. Use this time to review your day and plan your next steps, or to just process your thoughts. Think about recent interactions or decisions. What insights can you take away?

For introverts, this is all about expanding your range. Here are three simple things you can try:

1. Prepare what you want to share: Write down one or two points you’d like to share before attending a meeting. Commit to proactively contributing something meaningful. This will make speaking up less intimidating.
2. Follow up: Send a quick email or message after meeting someone. Reference something specific you discussed and thank them for their time.
3. Recharge with purpose daily: Set aside some alone time every day to process your thoughts. Analyze your interactions. Plan how to apply what you’ve learned. Draft ideas for what to share in the meetings and conversations planned for tomorrow.

Stefan Falk is an internationally-recognized executive coach, workplace psychology expert, and author of “Intrinsic Motivation: Learn to Love Your Work and Succeed as Never Before.” A McKinsey & Company alumnus, he has trained over 4,000 leaders across more than 60 organizations and helped drive transformations valued in excess of $2 billion. Follow him on LinkedIn.

Want to earn some extra money on the side? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Start a Side Hustle to learn tips to get started and strategies for success from top side hustle experts. Pre-register now and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through April 1, 2025.