Low points are inevitable in any relationship; no two people can see eye to eye all the time. But when push comes to shove, how do you know if your relationship has the foundation to endure? 

As a psychologist who studies relationships, I’ve come to learn that thriving relationships often share some key traits.

Here are four simple questions that can determine longevity of your connection. If your answers are all “yes,” you’re likely on solid ground.

Every healthy relationship should be grounded upon a foundation of friendship. Imagine your partner as just a friend: Would you still want to spend time with them, laugh with them and turn to them for support?

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Couples who say “yes” to this understand that relationships require a lot more than just passion and commitment. Studies even show that if like your partner as a person, your bond will be much harder to break.

On the other hand, some couples stay together out of habit, fear of starting over or because they feel they’ve already invested too much in the relationship to let it go. This is what keeps people in unhappy relationships for years.

Your life partner should bring out the best in you. Does having them in your life make you feel supported, loved and inspired to grow? Or do you feel stifled, diminished and drained?

Truly great relationships often reflect what’s called the “Michelangelo effect.” Just like the artist shaped raw stone into breathtaking sculptures, healthy partners will “sculpt” each other into better versions of themselves. They encourage your goals, cheer on your successes and remind you of your worth even on hard days.

Unhealthy relationships can have the opposite effect. If being around your partner makes you feel small, criticized or unsure of yourself, it’s worth reflecting on why. The way you feel when you’re around your partner is often one of the biggest clues about how healthy your relationship is.

No one is perfect, but ignoring flaws isn’t really what love is about. Rather, we all have to learn that those imperfections aren’t what define your partner, nor your relationship. Couples in healthy relationships don’t rely on fantasies of how the other person could change — they focus on loving each other as they are presently.

This doesn’t mean you should tolerate toxic behavior. But it does mean accepting the small fumbles and imperfections that make your partner human, like forgetting to pick up their socks once in a while or telling the same joke over and over.

If you can genuinely say you’d choose your partner if they stayed exactly as they are, warts and all, then you’ve likely built a relationship that can stand the test of time.

One of the clearest signs of a strong relationship is that your partner isn’t just there for the hard times — they’re also your go-to person for sharing your wins. When you get exciting news, do you instinctively reach for your phone to call them? Do you look forward to celebrating your successes together?

Psychologists call this “capitalization,” and research shows that couples who actively share and celebrate each other’s good news tend to have stronger, happier relationships. It builds a sense of partnership and camaraderie — one that reinforces that your joys are their joys, too.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

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If you didn’t file a tax return for 2021, it might be worth doing so — you could be leaving money on the table.

The Internal Revenue Service has been sending out Covid-19 stimulus check money worth as much as $1,400 to around 1 million tax filers who didn’t receive them. Since the credit was originally self-claimed, the IRS is now automatically sending these payments to ensure eligible taxpayers get what they’re owed.

Called the Recovery Rebate Credit, the tax provision helps people claim missed stimulus payments from 2021. If you were eligible but didn’t receive the funds, you can still claim it. But there’s a catch: You must file a tax return by April 15, 2025.

Payments will be automatically deposited using the banking information listed on the taxpayer’s 2023 tax return or sent by paper check.

The stimulus check, part of the American Rescue Plan Act of 2021, was the final payment issued to provide financial relief during the Covid-19 pandemic.

It provides up to $1,400 per person, with the exact amount dependent on adjusted gross income and phased out at higher income levels:

• Single filers: You qualify for the full $1,400 if your AGI in 2021 was $75,000 or less. The credit begins to decrease for incomes over $75,000 and is fully phased out at $80,000.
• Married filing jointly: You qualify for the full $2,800 (for two people) if your combined AGI in 2021 was $150,000 or less. The credit begins to decrease for combined incomes over $150,000 and is fully phased out at $160,000.
• Dependents: Families can receive $1,400 for each dependent in 2021, regardless of age, but the amount is subject to the same income phaseout limits as the primary filer.

Originally announced in December, the IRS has been automatically sending payments to taxpayers who qualify, including those who filed tax returns with blank or $0 entries for the Recovery Rebate Credit data field, but were still eligible for the credit.

That leaves eligible people who haven’t filed a tax return yet. April 15th is the last day to claim the credit, as, generally, the IRS only allows you to file for refunds or credits within three years.

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Ellen Pompeo’s favorite part about her 20 years on “Grey’s Anatomy” has nothing to do with the show itself.

In an interview with People, the TV star said the financial security that portraying Meredith Grey affords her has been the best part of being on the long-running show.

Pompeo in 2017 became the highest-paid woman on television and reportedly brings home $20 million a year from “Grey’s.”

“Financial security is not something that every actress is afforded,” she said. “So I’m very grateful for that.”

Her comments echo a sentiment she expressed in 2018, saying then that asking for what she felt she was worth and fighting to get the network to pay her gave her a strong sense of control in her career.

“I’ve chosen to financially empower myself so that I never have to be ducking predators and chasing trophies,” she said at the time. “It’s not for everyone. You have to be more interested in business than you are in acting.”

Indeed, the 55-year-old told People that even though her show has been massively popular for decades — spawning two spinoff shows in addition to the “Grey’s” mothership — she doesn’t feel like she necessarily has a lot in common with other A-list stars with more varied careers.

“Grey’s is huge and everything, but in the scope of actors I’m sort of like a blue-collar worker,” she said. “I’m not the cool kid in high school. I’m not the popular kid, I’m just kind of like a worker bee.”

And while Pompeo said it can be hard to deal with “the repetitive nature of doing the same thing over and over” on the medical procedural in which she’s starred in more than 400 episodes, she wouldn’t trade her career with anyone else’s.

“I think sometimes your journey is the journey you’re meant to have,” Pompeo said. “And I think my journey is the journey I’ve been meant to have. I wasn’t meant to do anything else. And I feel quite peaceful about where I’ve been and what I’ve done and really excited about what lies ahead.”

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Leading happiness expert Arthur C. Brooks has a lot of knowledge about how to improve your well-being and outlook on life.

In addition to his happiness course at Harvard University, Brooks shares many of the lessons he’s learned throughout his career as a social scientist in his weekly newsletter called, “The Art and Science of Happiness.”

In his most recent newsletter, Brooks focuses on what the Greek philosopher Aristotle can teach us about happiness. “Instead of seeing it as something to be found, Aristotle believed it was something we attract by living well,” he wrote.

To live well, you should “practice specific virtues and turn them into habits,” he added. Aristotle identified 10 such virtues, and Brooks says research supports each one.

1. Identify what you fear and face it.
2. Learn what your “appetites” are, and get a handle on them. This can include substances and behaviors.
3. Find balance in how you use your time and spend your money: “Be neither a cheapskate nor a spendthrift.”
4. Give back generously, especially to people you care about and causes that matter to you.
5. “Focus more on transcendent things; disregard trivialities.”
6. Control your temper.
7. Don’t lie about anything, even to yourself.
8. Avoid “struggling for your fair share.”
9. Forgive people, for yourself.
10. Come up with your own rules for morality, and stick to them even when no one is watching.

“It’s about creating an environment in which happiness naturally arrives rather than frantically chasing after it,” Brooks wrote.

“When you cultivate these virtues, you’re setting the stage for happiness to find you.”

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Bill Gates’ favorite author has a new book, and the billionaire says “it will teach you a lot” about food.

Specifically, how eliminating food waste and reducing global food insecurity could make food cheaper for everyone. Vaclav Smil’s “How to Feed the World,” which was published on Tuesday, “will transform the way you think about hunger, food, and what we eat (and don’t),” Gates wrote in an Instagram post on Wednesday.

Smil, a Czech-Canadian professor emeritus at the University of Manitoba, has written more than 40 books on a range of topics like technological innovation, energy, public policy and population growth. Gates is a “devoted reader” of the academic’s entire catalogue, reading “nearly all” of Smil’s published works, he wrote in a blog post published Tuesday.

“The truth is, I’d read just about any topic he found interesting and wanted to dissect,” Gates wrote in 2017, adding: “I wait for new Smil books the way some people wait for the next ‘Star Wars’ movie.”

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Ending world hunger is a central focus for the Gates Foundation, and Smil’s newest book turns “conventional wisdom on its head” by using data to reframe the problem, Gates noted in his recent blog post.

The world produces roughly 3,000 calories-worth of food per person per day, which is “more than enough to feed everyone,” Gates wrote. The problem is how food is distributed, with rampant inefficiencies in the supply chain resulting in massive amounts of food waste: Roughly one-third of food ends up unconsumed, according to the United Nations.

The inefficiencies also increase costs for producers and retailers, resulting in higher prices for shoppers around the world. Reducing food waste can take pressure off of the global food supply, making food more accessible and more affordable for everyone, according to Smil.

Other researchers agree. Roughly $600 billion worth of food is lost during or following its harvest annually, according to a 2022 report from consulting firm McKinsey. And food waste of all kinds leads to lost revenue for retailers and inflated consumer prices, found a 2024 Pacific Coast Collaborative report.

Smil’s book offers some potential solutions, including improvements to food storage, packing, supply chains and pricing models. One of Gates’ favorites, he wrote: CRISPR gene editing, which could theoretically develop more resilient crops that better withstand the effects of climate change.

“Like all of Vaclav’s best books, it challenges readers to think differently about a problem we thought we understood,” Gates wrote, adding: “We also need to ensure that food is more accessible and affordable, less wasted, and just as nutritious as it is abundant.”

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