Perhaps you, like the many U.S. employees who’ve posted viral memes and videos over the past couple years, accidentally became important at work.

Maybe you offered help to a coworker one too many times, or agreed to stay late at the office to work on a project. Now, your favors have turned into unwanted expectations, and while you obviously like seeing your hard work recognized, the workload is taking a toll on your mental health.

Without commensurate recognition or compensation, accidentally becoming important at work can feel more like a punishment.

“We’re taught to just be grateful, over-deliver and prove that we deserve and belong in those roles,” says Andrew McCaskill, a LinkedIn career expert and global communications executive. “So we just say yes and solve these problems, and before you know it, we’re becoming like the glue that’s holding everything together, without the title or the compensation to match it.”

However, quiet quitting or avoiding your colleagues can do even more harm, McCaskill adds. Here’s his advice for navigating your newfound importance and ultimately becoming more successful.

If you’re constantly saying “Yes” to more work without seeking more information about the time, effort, priority level and potential support you may need, you’re setting yourself up to be overwhelmed, says McCaskill. Use a “Yes, and…” statement instead, he recommends.

“Don’t leave that [conversation] without clarity about what the expectations are,” McCaskill says.

You might say, for example: “Yes, I’m really excited about this opportunity. And I’d like to know, are there any additional resources for this project? What outcomes do you want to see?”

If a co-worker asks for your assistance, tell your boss so they’re aware that you’ve been asked to take on a task, recommends McCaskill. Ask your boss questions like: “What, if anything, should I deprioritize so that I can give this my full focus? How important is this?”

The idea is to create a paper trail, writing down your accomplishments and new skills as proof of how willing you are to learn, be a team player and contribute to your organization. You can point to that list when you ask for a promotion or raise.

If your increased workload is harming your mental health or getting in the way of your usual job duties, tell your manager right away, says McCaskill.

“My dad used to always say, ‘Son, holler if it hurts. You do not get extra credit for doing things the hard way,’” he says. “When you get to a point where it’s costing you sleep or sanity … You don’t feel like you’re doing a good job or you feel overwhelmed, it’s time to speak up.”

Perhaps you’ll offer to take on the extra work at a later date, saying something like, “Yes, and I can get started on that in a few weeks.” Some requests may require you to flat-out say no.

In those instances, thank your boss or colleague for the opportunity, and inform them that it’s a bit out of your wheelhouse, or that your other projects also need your attention. This approach ensures that you “lead with gratitude and end with understanding and clarity,” McCaskill says.

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In the week following President Donald Trump’s announcement of sweeping tariffs, the S&P 500 briefly flirted with bear territory — defined as a 20% decline from recent highs — as worries swirled that the levies would reignite inflation and set off a trade war that could slow the global economy.

But on Wednesday, the President announced a 90-day pause on tariffs exceeding 10% for some countries, while raising duties on Chinese products to 125%. The S&P 500 climbed more than 9% on the day.

Even if they don’t typically come this rapidly, large swings in stock prices are part and parcel of being an investor. Take it from the late Charlie Munger, the longtime vice-chairman of Berkshire Hathaway and right-hand man to Warren Buffett.

“I think it’s in the nature of long-term shareholding that the normal vicissitudes in markets means that the long-term holder has the quoted value of his stocks go down by, say, 50%,” Munger told a BBC interviewer in 2009.

If you’re not willing to keep your chin up during the occasional rout, he continued, “you’re not fit to be a common shareholder, and you deserve the mediocre result you’re going to get compared to the people who can be more philosophical about these market fluctuations.”

Munger was speaking from experience. In 2009, shares in Berkshire Hathaway, which made up a sizeable portion of his portfolio, had declined by more than 50%. When asked if he had any worries about the state of the company and its stock, Munger cut off the interviewer.

“Zero,” he said. “This is the third time that Warren and I have seen our holdings in Berkshire Hathaway go down, top tick to bottom tick, by 50%.”

Each time, Berkshire Hathaway continued to invest in the stock market, with Munger and Buffett following the latter’s famous maxim: “Be fearful when others are greedy, and be greedy when others are fearful.”

That meant consistently buying stocks the pair saw as undervalued and having faith that U.S. businesses would return to boosting profits. Berkshire’s portfolio, just like the broad U.S. stock market, found new highs after each major drawdown.

Times of uncertainty and volatility in the stock market can be scary. But if you’re around for long enough, you’ll likely live through a few of them, Munger said.

“I think you can count on more booms and busts over your remaining lifetime. How big and with what cyclicality, I can’t tell you,” Munger told students at the University of Michigan in 2011 — another tumultuous year for stocks. “I can tell you the best way of coping, which is to just put your head down and behave creditably every day.”

In general, financial experts advise long-term investors to continue buying stocks through downturns. Historically, the long-term upward trajectory of the stock market has made such periods look like times to buy stocks on sale. In essence, if you already invest regularly, say, through a 401(k), you can leave things on autopilot.

Munger advised the crowd in Michigan that major drawdowns were rare opportunities to build wealth, recalling the advice of his great grandfather.

“Real opportunities that come to you are few,” he said, adding that almost no one is “bathed” in good fortune. “Most people just get a few times when they can make a huge difference by seizing a huge activity.”

For investors, when you have the opportunity to buy assets at a huge discount, it’s important to seize the moment to the best of your ability, and not leave your money sitting on the sidelines while you wait for things to get better, Munger said.

“When you get a lollapalooza, for God’s sakes, don’t hang by like a timid little rabbit,” Munger said. “Don’t hang back.”

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People with narcissistic traits often have an inflated sense of their own talents, achievements and significance in the world. They’re sensitive to criticism and struggle to have any empathy or appreciation for others.

This self-centered focus on their own needs is usually at the expense of everyone around them, which makes communicating with them challenging. You may be left feeling dismissed, criticized or invisible.

As a Harvard-trained psychologist, I’ve found that there are seven phrases you’ll hear from highly narcissistic people:

Narcissists see themselves as special and better than everyone else. They believe that other people should feel grateful to be in their orbit because they are all so flawed in comparison.

Similar phrases: 

• “You don’t deserve me.”
• “You should feel relieved that I haven’t cut you out of my life.”

DON’T MISS: How to change careers and be happier at work

Many narcissists are chronically disappointed by others. In response, they may put those people down with cutting, hurtful and mean-spirited insults.

Similar phrases: 

• “You’re such a loser.”
• “No one else would ever want to be with you.”

Narcissists often resort to manipulative tactics like threats or intimidation to keep people invested in the relationship because they feel safer maintaining control, rather than sharing power.

Similar phrases: 

• “Be careful or you’ll push me away.”
• “I’ll ruin you if you cross me, and no one will want to be associated with you.”

It’s hard for people with narcissistic traits to empathize with others. As a result, they rarely see the other person in a relationship as an independent individual with their own thoughts, feelings and experiences.

Similar phrases: 

• “My feelings matter more.”
• “I’m usually right.”

Narcissists have a strong desire to feel superior to others. One way they do that is by putting people down. They tend to make negative comments about everyone else — friends, family or even unknown acquaintances — to build themselves up as part of a separate, special kind of person. 

Similar phrases: 

• “Your friend is lame. Why do you hang out with them?”
• “These people have nothing to offer me.”

When a narcissist is upset, they’ll blame others for their feelings instead of acknowledging their role in the situation. Rather than holding themselves accountable, they’ll complain about how unfair other people are.

Similar phrases: 

• “If you just did what I asked you to do, I wouldn’t be so upset right now.”
• “I wouldn’t be yelling if you didn’t make me so angry!”

People with narcissistic tendencies are good at stonewalling — cutting off communication to show how upset they are. They will pretend to not be affected, while giving you the silent treatment.

Similar phrases: 

• “I’m fine. What are you even talking about?”
• Saying nothing at all.

The best way to respond to a narcissist is not to react at all. Pause in the moment, but don’t leave the conversation entirely. Don’t yell or become defensive.

After a deep breath, you can say, “I need to think about this before I respond, so I’m going to need a minute.” This will give you time to collect your thoughts and notice your emotions. More importantly, you’ll be less likely to say something you might regret later.

Then, set clear boundaries. Here are some examples:

• “I hear you, I just don’t agree with you.”
• “Thank you for sharing your perspective. When you’re open to hearing mine, I can share it.”
• “It sounds like you’re having a lot of feelings right now. I am here to listen if you’d like, but if you put me down or intentionally try to hurt me, I am going to walk away because it isn’t healthy for me to be called names.”
• “I want you to know that I see you and I hear your perspective. I just have a different one, and that’s okay with me.”

Remember, while a narcissist may continue to communicate in harmful ways, their words can’t have power over you unless you let them.

Their most common communication tactics are manipulation and control. That is a reflection of who they are and how they experience they world, not a reflection of you and your values.

Dr. Cortney S. Warren, PhD, is a board-certified psychologist and author of the new book “Letting Go of Your Ex.” She specializes in romantic relationships, addictive behavior, and honesty. She received her clinical training at Harvard Medical School after earning her doctorate in clinical psychology from Texas A&M University. Follow her on Instagram @DrCortneyWarren or Twitter @DrCortneyWarren.

Do you want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Pre-register today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

For many adults, becoming a parent is all-consuming. Familial obligations monopolize your attention and even the strongest, most long-term friendships can feel strained.

Ironically, those deep friendships we have in adulthood, the ones that take a backseat to family, are crucial contributing factors to raising resilient kids, journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace said in a recent Ted Talk.

“A child’s resilience is rooted in the resilience of the adults in their lives,” she said. “Adult resilience is rooted on the depth and support in our relationships.”

Wallace authored “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic – and What We Can Do About It” and the forthcoming “Mattering in the Modern World: A Solution to the Crises of our Time.”

A child witnessing you support a friend, or vice versa, shows them that part of resilience is creating a network where it’s OK to ask for help.

Wallace’s advice touches on a haunting reality about adult friendships: Americans have less of them than they’d like.

Less that one-third of adults ages 30 to 49 say they have five or more close friends, according to a 2023 survey by Pew Research Center. And in a 2023 University of Michigan poll, 34% of adults ages 50 to 80 say they feel isolated.

And it’s not just the quantity of positive social connections that’s lacking, it’s the quality: 40% of American adults said they are not as close with their friends as they would like, according to a recent PLUS ONE study.

When journalist Olga Khazan was deciding to have a child, one of her biggest concerns was how antisocial she was.

As an introvert, she often turned inward and stayed home rather than putting in the work to maintain relationships in the real world, an experience she outlines in her book “Me, But Better: The Science and Promise of Personality Change.”

“Being a parent just requires being ‘on’ all the time,” Khazan told CNBC Make It. “You kind of have to learn to be okay with being really active and socially engaged, even in a nonverbal way, a lot more than you’re used to.”

To prepare her for parenthood she wanted to increase her extroversion. She found that the most successful strategy for doing so was signing up for improv and sailing classes.

“I think the most effective thing is to sign up for an activity that occurs regularly with the same group of people,” she said. “It is hard to back out of because other people are relying on you.”

Though sailing was expensive and started much earlier in the morning than she preferred, the social interactions that came with showing up did improve her quality of life.

“You’re working on something, or thinking about something, and someone else in the boat will have had that exact experience and can really shed light on it,” she says.

Forcing herself to do things even when she didn’t feel like it made her less cranky and more agreeable while parenting. And being more comfortable talking to others about the challenges of child-rearing made the experience a bit less lonely.

“I am just not really a joiner naturally,” she says. “I never joined a group before this, but I think I learned that things like this, especially really hard things like motherhood, are so much easier when you have other people around going through something similar.”

Despite the proven benefits positive social relationships have on our well-being, American culture still doesn’t rank friendships as highly as romantic partnerships.

The only way to change this, Wallace said, is to actively prioritize friendships.

“We need one or two or three people in our lives who know us intimately. who can see when we are struggling and who will reach over and put that oxygen mask on for us,” she said. “This is a very different level of support than we normalize in our busy culture today.”

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In 2017, Sophie Hilaire graduated from The Wharton School with an MBA in Operations and moved to New York City to work as a consultant at McKinsey & Company. Before all of that, she was a Captain in the U.S. Army for six years.

“I grew up in the middle of nowhere Ohio, so to me, living in the city was a rite of passage,” she tells CNBC Make It. “It was great but I also felt like during the time I lived there, I was basically kind of a tourist.”

After a year of constant travel for work and spending only the weekends in her NYC apartment, Hilaire decided to take on a much different kind of challenge — climbing Mount Everest.

Hilaire already had experience climbing mountains like Mount McKinley in Alaska, Cotopaxi in the Andes Mountains and Chimborazo, the highest mountain in Ecuador.

She started training while still working full-time. When it came time for the climb, Hilaire was able to take advantage of the months-long sabbatical program offered at McKinsey.

“At the surface, I’ve always been drawn to lofty goals — ones that stretch the body and the spirit. I wanted to find out what would happen if I shut my laptop for two months and focused on this sole, raw experience while living in nature,” Hilaire says.

“When I did that, I had this epiphany that I wanted to spend more time in nature and Central Park to me wasn’t really the level of nature I needed.”

Hilaire returned from Nepal in the summer of 2019 and decided not to renew her lease.

“On the plane ride home, I knew I couldn’t go back to life in New York and that I had to be closer to nature,” she says. “That moment of knowing launched the next chapter — van life, homesteading, and loving myself. The mountain did transform me. She gave me direction and that’s been the real gift.”

Her job allowed Hilaire to be anywhere, so long as she was able to fly out to meet with clients around the country. That gave Hilaire flexibility to travel. But then the Covid-19 pandemic hit and Hilaire found herself without a home and without a clue of where she wanted to head to next.

“I thought, ‘I’m not ready to pay rent or buy a house, so why don’t I move into a sprinter van and continue to visit different places and see where I want to land?’” Hilaire says.

“I always knew I wanted to get a van just to have, but this kind of felt like a no-regrets move because I thought, ‘Why don’t I just get it now, so I don’t have to pay rent anywhere and I can keep on traveling?’ I didn’t know how long the pandemic was going to last.”

Hilaire purchased a Sprinter van she found on Craigslist for $29,900, according to documents reviewed by CNBC Make It. The van had been partially built out already but still needed a lot of work. Hilaire added a bedroom area, bathroom, IKEA cabinets, solar panels, and a desk. She did most of the work herself and estimates she spent about $18,500 in renovations.

Hilaire traveled all across the United States while living and continuing to work full-time as a consultant.

Hilaire eventually quit her job at McKinsey & Company and lived the van life full-time for two years. But, in 2022, she decided it was time to settle down.

As a first step, Hilaire switched to boutique consulting which meant she wasn’t as client-facing and didn’t need to travel for work. She went from making around $300,000 a year at McKinsey, not including bonuses, to making significantly less — under $100,000. Hilaire says it didn’t bother her.

“I wanted to have my own trees and have somewhere to experience four seasons. I wanted to have a garden. I wanted to be grounded and I wanted to build a life with someone, too,” she says. “It was really nice because I got to spend all that time with myself and develop a relationship with myself for the first time.”

Next, Hilaire had to decide where she wanted to set down some roots. She thought about a homestead — a house, usually a farmhouse, with separate buildings on a big piece of land. Hilaire says she wanted a homestead to “learn more about self-reliance and just be connected to a piece of land,” but she wasn’t prepared to buy one just yet.

At the same time, her friends had been trying to convince her to move to Kentucky. The family owns a hunting property about an hour from their house where Hilaire could stay. The land was big enough for Hilaire to park her van, and she’d have free rein of the 16×40-foot Tuff Shed they bought from Home Depot for $23,000.

“I drove over there in my van and I was blown away by this place. I saw it probably at the worst time because it was the end of winter but I saw how beautiful it was,” Hilaire says.

Hilaire decided to stay and says it was the perfect situation because it would give her the ability to save to buy her own land one day. She set her sights on transforming the Tuff Shed into a tiny home that her friends could use even after she was gone.

“Huge houses did not appeal to me after living in my van. It just felt more comfortable to me and reasonable to have a smaller space,” she says.

The shed had two lofts, outside walls and subflooring and was being used to store random hunting items. Hilaire got to work renovating in the summer of 2022.

Hilaire says she spent roughly $53,535 transforming the shed into a living space inspired by the Sea Ranch community in California, an unincorporated community known for its timber-frame structures. She added skylights, a kitchen, open closets, several decks, a bathroom, a utility closet, and a bed with cardboard boxes underneath for storage.

Hilaire says her first night in the shed was quiet and restorative.

“It was exciting but it was also so relaxing and just really peaceful,” she says. “It was just so nice being in complete silence.”

Hilaire spent a year renovating the shed and lived there for five months before she moved to a homestead she owns with her now-husband.

“In some ways, it’s sad, but in other ways, it was a beautiful thing. That shed took me exactly where I wanted to go,” she says. “I didn’t want to be in this shed forever.”

When the Army vet first met her now husband, some of their dates included working on the shed’s renovations.

“It was important for me while we were dating to see if we could work together on projects. I wanted someone who didn’t necessarily need to be so great at it but we should have fun doing it,” Hilaire says. “We quickly realized that we found the one.”

Want a new career that’s higher-paying, more flexible or fulfilling? Take CNBC’s new online course How to Change Careers and Be Happier at Work. Expert instructors will teach you strategies to network successfully, revamp your resume and confidently transition into your dream career. Start today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $67 (+taxes and fees) through May 13, 2025.

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