If you work full-time, you already know how much time and effort it takes to master work-life balance. Add to that a relationship, and it becomes even harder.

As a psychologist who studies couples — and who has a working wife — I’ve faced these challenges firsthand. Thankfully, my job as both a researcher and husband has taught me how important it is to be intentional about how my wife and I spend our time, specifically on weekends.

Here’s how people in the happiest, most successful relationships spend their free time:

A couple who spends a lot of time together, but is constantly distracted by texts, emails or social media, probably isn’t as happy as a couple who spends less time together, but without their phones.

That’s why carving out one-on-one time without any interference from technology is so important. And how you spend that time is actually irrelevant. It doesn’t need to be extravagant or planned down to the minute. What matters is presence.

It could be a quiet morning coffee where you exchange unfiltered thoughts, a slow walk to fill the silence, or a good old wining-and-dining — as long as the phones and laptops are put away.

After a draining week of work, it’s normal and even healthy to crave solitude. But it can be hard to choose between “me time” and “we time.”

Luckily, there’s a way to satiate the need for both alone time and bonding simultaneously. “Parallel play,” a concept derived from child psychology, is when two people engage in their preferred activity separately, but alongside each other.

For couples, this might look like one partner reading on the couch, while the other plays their favorite video game next to them. They might not be engaging directly with one another, but they’re still intentionally sharing space and de-stressing with an activity they each enjoy.

It’s basically a way of saying: “I love you, but I also need to love me for an hour or two. Let’s do it together.” 

Relationships thrive on ritual. Coming home to your partner and knowing that the weekend will bring something familiar — something reliably yours — can be comforting.

In fact, research shows that rituals can help couples organize their lives in a way that allows for both change and stability to coexist. Individuals can merge into a shared identity that feels distinct from either person alone. You can ground yourselves together, no matter what chaos surrounds you.

What those rituals look like is completely up to you. Don’t shy away from cheesy. It could be Sunday morning pancakes, or board game night with a goofy scoreboard on the fridge. If you’re more practical, maybe it’s a weekly sit-down over a glass of wine to plan out the week, or tackling one nagging chore together with your shared playlist in the background. 

Studies show that couples who have a satisfying sex life are more likely to be happier in their relationships.

But with endless chores and errands, weekends can start to feel like a second workweek — with little time left over for intimacy. Sex quickly starts to feel like less of a priority.

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That’s why structured intimacy can be a good thing. Many people think it can diminish spontaneity, but if anything, it actually removes the mental fatigue of trying to make intimacy happen.

It’s also a great way for couples to engage without distraction, all while combating the emotional strain of work. So, make it intentional and set a time.

Playfulness, according to research, is one of the most reliable tools couples can use to strengthen their relationship. It can boost relationship satisfaction, ease conflict and break up the sense of monotony that partners can start to resent. 

During the week, we unknowingly train ourselves to look for things to stress over. But on weekends, we need to take those goggles off. The act of being silly — and being met with silliness in return — helps us reconnect with the childlike wonder we carry inside that gets buried beneath our responsibilities. 

So, look for joy on purpose. Maybe you pull out a trivia game with nonsense rules or challenge each other to a dance battle.

There’s no right or wrong way to be playful, and chances are, you already know how to make your partner laugh. You just have to remember to do it.

Mark Travers, PhD, is a psychologist who specializes in relationships. He holds degrees from Cornell University and the University of Colorado Boulder. He is the lead psychologist at Awake Therapy, a telehealth company that provides online psychotherapy, counseling and coaching. He is also the curator of the popular mental health and wellness website, Therapytips.org.

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You’ll need to clear $330,000 in household income to be considered part of the top 5% of earners in the U.S., according to a new analysis by GOBankingRates.

But in 12 states, the bar is much higher. In these places, the average income for top-earning households exceeds $500,000 a year.

To determine how much income is needed to reach the top 5% in each state, GOBankingRates analyzed the most recent Census data from 2023. Each state was ranked by the average income of its top 5% of households.

Connecticut ranks highest with an average top 5% income of $637,673 — more than seven times the state’s median household income, according to the study. California, Massachusetts, New York and New Jersey also rank near the top, each with average top 5% incomes over $600,000.

According to the analysis, the average income among the top 5% of households exceeds $500,000 in the following states:

• Connecticut: $637,673
• California: $619,938
• Massachusetts: $619,385
• New York: $619,178
• New Jersey: $616,334
• Washington: $573,110
• Colorado: $535,056
• Virginia: $534,776
• Maryland: $522,117
• Illinois: $514,347
• New Hampshire: $510,730
• Hawaii: $505,977

At the other end of the list, the average income of the top 5% is lowest in West Virginia, at just over $380,000 — still well above the state’s median of $57,917, but only about two-thirds of what top earners make in high-income states like Connecticut or California.

Here’s a look at the top 5% income threshold and median income for each state, in alphabetical order:

Alabama

• Average household income for top 5%: $388,183
• Median household income: $62,027

Alaska

• Average household income for top 5%: $477,622
• Median household income: $89,336

Arizona

• Average household income for top 5%: $461,017
• Median household income: $76,872

Arkansas

• Average household income for top 5%: $364,124
• Median household income: $58,773

California

• Average household income for top 5%: $619,938
• Median household income: $96,334

Colorado

• Average household income for top 5%: $535,056
• Median household income: $92,470

Connecticut

• Average household income for top 5%: $637,673
• Median household income: $93,760

Delaware

• Average Household Income for Top 5%: $477,949
• Median household income: $82,855

Florida

• Average household income for top 5%: $499,872
• Median household income: $71,711

Georgia

• Average household income for top 5%: $467,103
• Median household income: $74,664

Hawaii

• Average household income for top 5%: $505,977
• Median household income: $98,317

Idaho

• Average household income for top 5%: $418,188
• Median household income: $74,636

Illinois

• Average household income for top 5%: $514,347
• Median household income: $81,702

Indiana

• Average household income for top 5%: $393,813
• Median household income: $70,051

Iowa

• Average household income for top 5%: $400,534
• Median household income: $73,147

Kansas

• Average household income for top 5%: $398,469
• Median household income: $72,639

Kentucky

• Average household income for top 5%: $372,886
• Median household income: $62,417

Louisiana

• Average household income for top 5%: $389,605
• Median household income: $60,023

Maine

• Average household income for top 5%: $415,677
• Median household income: $71,773

Maryland

• Average household income for top 5%: $522,117
• Median household income: $101,652

Massachusetts

• Average household income for top 5%: $619,385
• Median household income: $101,341

Michigan

• Average household income for top 5%: $409,636
• Median household income: $71,149

Minnesota

• Average household income for top 5%: $496,581
• Median household income: $87,556

Mississippi

• Average household income for top 5%: $344,395
• Median household income: $54,915

Missouri

• Average household income for top 5%: $410,472
• Median household income: $68,920

Montana

• Average household income for top 5%: $420,968
• Median household income: $69,922

Nebraska

• Average household income for top 5%: $471,960
• Median household income: $74,985

Nevada

• Average household income for top 5%: $460,558
• Median household income: $75,561

New Hampshire

• Average household income for top 5%: $510,730
• Median household income: $95,628

New Jersey

• Average household income for top 5%: $616,334
• Median household income: $101,050

New Mexico

• Average household income for top 5%: $378,797
• Median household income: $62,125

New York

• Average household income for top 5%: $619,178
• Median household income: $84,578

North Carolina

• Average household income for top 5%: $443,291
• Median household income: $69,904

North Dakota

• Average household income for top 5%: $399,162
• Median household income: $75,949

Ohio

• Average household income for top 5%: $417,374
• Median household income: $69,680

Oklahoma

• Average household income for top 5%: $392,351
• Median household income: $63,603

Oregon

• Average household income for top 5%: $464,386
• Median household income: $80,426

Pennsylvania

• Average household income for top 5%: $468,603
• Median household income: $76,081

Rhode Island

• Average household income for top 5%: $489,811
• Median household income: $86,372

South Carolina

• Average household income for top 5%: $419,871
• Median household income: $66,818

South Dakota

• Average household income for top 5%: $452,480
• Median household income: $72,421

Tennessee

• Average household income for top 5%: $435,495
• Median household income: $67,097

Texas

• Average household income for top 5%: $494,328
• Median household income: $76,292

Utah

• Average household income for top 5%: $468,606
• Median household income: $91,750

Vermont

• Average household income for top 5%: $453,461
• Median household income: $78,024

Virginia

• Average household income for top 5%: $534,776
• Median household income: $90,974

Washington

• Average household income for top 5%: $573,110
• Median household income: $94,952

West Virginia

• Average household income for top 5%: $330,270
• Median household income: $57,917

Wisconsin

• Average household income for top 5%: $418,095
• Median household income: $75,670

Wyoming

• Average household income for top 5%: $400,071
• Median household income: $74,815

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I knew I wanted to live abroad as soon as I set foot in the Netherlands on a trip at 17. I chased that dream for years — studying Spanish in Spain at 21, teaching English there at 26, and pursuing a master’s there at 29 — but I kept ending up back in Texas. 

At 35, I tried again, arriving in Spain with doubts and no clear plan. But the positive shift was immediate. Outside the 9-to-5 grind, I discovered my passions of writing, content creation, and community building.

Within 18 months, I launched She Hit Refresh, a resource and community helping women over 30 figure out and fast-track their moves abroad. Ten years later, I’m still living in Spain, and I’ve directly helped hundreds of women make their moves abroad.

So many people who want to leave the U.S. start with a seemingly simple question: Where should I go? I can help with that. 

If you want to make starting over feel less overwhelming, look for countries that check most of these boxes:

• Visa options: If there’s a visa you qualify for — whether as a remote worker, retiree, or self-employed person — that’s already a huge win. 
• Cost of living: Many Americans are looking for places where their dollars stretch further and where quality of life doesn’t mean financial stress.
• Cultural openness: Feeling welcomed by locals can ease culture shock and smooth your transition.
• A solid expat community: At the same time, having access to other Americans or foreigners who understand your journey can give you a sense of belonging, especially in the early months. 
• Language: Look for places where people speak English at a high level and/or the local language is relatively easy to pick up.

Here are five European countries that consistently make it easier for Americans to land, live, and thrive:

Spain is a popular choice for Americans thanks to its digital nomad and non-working visas, affordable healthcare, and social culture that prioritizes connection. I’ve found that people here make time for each other, gather, and talk for hours. 

While English isn’t widely spoken and cities like Barcelona face overtourism, many smaller cities and towns are eager to welcome newcomers. 

When I moved abroad at 35, I found a community in Madrid with others who had traded the traditional path of success (the corporate ladder, marriage, kids, and a mortgage) to shake things up — as I did when I left my full-time job to teach English, go freelance, and eventually start my own business — even as everyone around them was settling down. 

Now I live in Málaga, where Europeans have been coming for decades both to vacation and to live. Locals are welcoming to foreigners, which also means there’s an established expat scene that makes it easier to meet friends and feel at home.

It’s hard to find a country more open to expats than Portugal. With its laid-back pace of life, English-friendly culture, and accessible visa options, it’s become a popular relocation spot. In addition to a digital nomad visa, Portugal offers a D7 visa — which allows Americans who have a steady stream of passive income to live in the country.

While Lisbon and Porto face overtourism challenges similar to Barcelona, there are plenty of beautiful, and less populated, alternatives. In the Algarve, expats are attracted to the mix of locals and foreigners as well as the Mediterranean climate, though it’s actually on the Atlantic. The archipelagos of Madeira and the Azores are off the beaten path and a great choice for anyone who loves to be surrounded by beautiful landscapes.

Portugal’s safety, affordability, and existing expat communities make it a great fit for solo women, families, and retirees.

One of my upcoming podcast guests, Mary Alice Duff, decided to swap the hustle of life in Philadelphia for the slower pace of southern France. She now enjoys the calm of the French lifestyle, like biking to the beach with her daughter; perks of her tax dollars, like free public transportation; and quality time with a diverse, close-knit international friend group.

For those wanting to follow a similar path, the profession libérale visa is a great option for freelancers and small business owners, offering flexibility to work remotely. France also has affordable, high-quality healthcare and is incredibly family-friendly. It has one of the highest fertility rates in Europe, which may be related to generous tax breaks for families and affordable childcare. 

The downside is that France does not yet offer a digital nomad visa, making it challenging for remote employees to find a way to stay long-term.

The Netherlands is known for being very welcoming to expats. The country offers excellent public transportation and an extensive network of bike paths, widespread English, and an entrepreneur-friendly environment.

The DAFT (Dutch-American Friendship Treaty) visa allows Americans who are self-employed to live and work in the Netherlands by registering a business in the country and depositing 4,500 euros into a business bank account. However, finding housing can be challenging due to a housing crisis. 

One of my masterclass students, Denise Segler, moved there in 2024 in her 50s. A divorced mom of adult kids, she embraced the opportunity to start fresh on her own terms. While she’s only months into her move, she finds the Dutch to be friendly and has started building community through the many networking events.

Albania allows U.S. passport holders to stay for up to a year without a visa. With easy entry and a low cost of living, it’s perfect for budget-minded remote workers. 

Many Americans live in the capital city of Tirana, where the expat community is strong and English is widely spoken. But the Albanian Riviera is not to be overlooked; its coastline along the Ionian Sea has some of the most beautiful beaches and landscapes in all of Europe. 

I’ve seen many Americans use Albania as a soft landing, staying one to four years before moving on to their next destination.

Many people who dream of moving abroad get stuck in a spiral of questions and “what if”s: Where would I go? How can I make it work? Will I be accepted? What if it doesn’t work out? 

It’s true that uprooting your life is a big decision, but there are so many places that are welcoming to Americans. With a little effort to learn the language and respect the culture, you can find your way. 

The women I work with typically have no regrets about their decisions to move abroad. Well, maybe one: If anything, most of them regret not doing it sooner.

Cepee Tabibian is the founder of She Hit Refresh, a community and resource platform that helps women aged 30+ move abroad, and the author of ”I’m Outta Here! An American’s Ultimate Visa Guide to Living in Europe.” As the daughter of Colombian and Iranian immigrants, Cepee grew up in Houston, Texas, before becoming an immigrant herself in Spain.

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In 2022, I turned 30, quit my eight-year teaching career, and got a job at Costco. 

When I tell people this, they often respond with: “But is Costco your dream job?” or, “Do you think it’s a valid career?” To me, it implied that they thought my decision was a downgrade. And for a long time, I might have agreed. My identity and value were completely tied to being an educator.

But I no longer find my fulfillment or sense of worth in work alone.

My priority is to have a clear divide between my personal and professional lives. I want to spend time with my husband and our two kids, and pursue the things that are truly important to me.

This fall, I couldn’t be more excited to celebrate my first anniversary working at Costco — and I’ve never been happier.

For eight years, I taught middle and high school history and language arts at public and private schools. In 2022, during my final school year, my salary was $47,000.

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I worked 60 hours a week and put in tons of unpaid overtime. Between administrative pressures, testing requirements, and the endurance required to teach during the height of the pandemic, I was exhausted. I felt like I lacked purpose.

So I started looking for alternative paths that would give me some breathing room.

At first, I just wanted a “good enough for now” job. I got offers from Costco and Amazon in the same week, but Costco seemed like it would be a better fit and offer more opportunities down the line.

Plus, I liked shopping there and I knew employees were treated well.

In September 2022, I started full-time on the memberships team at a new warehouse in Athens, Georgia. I had two 15-minute breaks, and 30 minutes for lunch. Otherwise, I was on my feet all day.

At first, I made $18.50 an hour — a little less than what I earned as a teacher. I put in 40-hour workweeks, five days a week, and got a $1-per-hour raise when I hit 1,000 hours.

A few months in, I got laryngitis. I couldn’t help members at the cash register with no voice, so I requested to temporarily fill in at the bakery.

I loved it. Whether it was baking a cake for a 90th birthday or for someone who just completed their PhD, making a tangible contribution to someone’s special day gave me a renewed sense of purpose.

When the marketing training team came to our location, seeing them work showed me that I could still be an educator — just in a different context. So when a position opened up in Issaquah, Washington, I immediately applied.

Now I’m a content developer and marketing trainer for the corporate office. I create internal materials to educate employees about policies and customer service procedures. I travel to different warehouses and train new team members.

I’m earning what a teacher with 15 years of experience made at my last school district — and 50% more than what I made when I quit.

My work is no longer my identity. I put energy into my job when I’m there, and I leave work at the office. When I come home, I’m present and able to spend time with my family doing what I love, like being outdoors.

I’ve never felt more fulfilled. 

There are a lot of caregiving professions — teachers, social workers, emergency responders, home health aides — that aren’t highly paid, but are viewed as higher callings.

Having a lot of passion but not enough institutional support is a recipe for burnout. My best advice is to set boundaries and have a clear understanding of your responsibilities.

When I am asked to work on a project, I make sure I understand the stakes and the timeline required to complete it. I’m not afraid to ask for more resources if I need them.

We’re taught from a young age to think about dream jobs in terms of: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Now, I spend more energy thinking about: “Who do you want to be?”

Maggie Perkins works at Costco as a content developer for the marketing training team. She quit her teaching job in 2022 due to shifting workplace conditions in education. Outside of work, Maggie enjoys exploring the beautiful Pacific Northwest with her family and going for runs. Follow her on TikTok @millennialmsfrizzle.

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If you’re worried about the future of your finances these days, you’re not alone. Consumers have the most pessimistic outlook since October 2011, according to the Conference Board, driven by fears surrounding tariffs, inflation and the possibility of a recession.

Financial advisors recommend planning for economic downturns by bolstering your emergency savings and looking for places to reduce your spending. In other words, if you don’t already have a budget, now is a good time to create one.

“One of the biggest mistakes I see people make, especially when prices rise, is just trying to wing it,” says Jasmine Taylor, founder and CEO of Baddies & Budgets. “In reality, inflation makes it more important to have a plan, so that’s why we always tell people to give your money a job.”

Taylor is a budgeting success story. By 2021, the now 34-year-old had amassed about $60,000 in student debt and another $9,000 in medical and credit card debt. Determined to dig herself out of the hole, she turned to “cash stuffing” — a money management strategy in which people set up their monthly budget using actual dollars.

Taylor made her way out of debt and in the process went viral sharing her strategies on TikTok. She used the opportunity to launch a cash-stuffing business, Baddies & Budgets, through which she sells money courses, budgeting supplies and other accessories. The business brought in $2.2 million in 2024.

Although her business has evolved over the years — she now offers tools that help people budget online — her core advice for anyone looking to manage their spending remains the same: Assign a purpose for every dollar that comes into your bank account.

“If you don’t tell your money where to go, it will find someplace to be,” Taylor says.

If you worry about the effects of inflation on your budget, many financial pros first suggest finding areas where you could cut back. That’s a virtual impossibility, though, if you don’t know how you spend on a monthly basis, Taylor says.

″[Budgeting] helps you to stay in control, even when the economy is out of control, because you really know where every dollar is going, and you can adjust accordingly,” she says. “We may have to cut back on subscriptions if we can’t afford groceries, but you don’t understand that if you don’t see the numbers.”

Taylor advocates for a strategy known as zero-based budgeting. To create this kind of spending plan, you start with your monthly take-home income and then make a list of all the categories you spend on. Then you set limits for each category.

Go on down the list, which includes everything from essentials like housing and groceries to financial goals like investing and debt payments to extras like your daily latte and assign each a number until your whole paycheck is used up.

“Nothing slips through the cracks,” Taylor says.

Th advantage of budgeting this way — especially during a time when inflation may stretch your budget — is you know exactly where you can reduce spending if need be, Taylor says.

“If food is more expensive and you have three children to feed, you’ll have to adjust and raise your grocery budget, but you’ll have to cut back elsewhere,” she says.

Taylor’s favorite places to look for possible cuts: insurance and cell phone plans. “A lot of people don’t understand that you should be calling into insurance companies and trying to get a better quote and move around more often,” she says. “You shouldn’t have a ton of loyalty to insurance companies.”

The same goes for cell phone providers and entertainment subscription services, which Taylor notes may give you a better rate if you call and threaten to leave.

In some cases, you may have to cut back on some things that bring you joy, at least temporarily, to make sure you have your necessities covered, Taylor says. And you may find it’s useful to up your earnings from a side hustle, for example, or by creating a source of passive income.

“If you get down to the nitty gritty, and you’ve got to do what you got to do to take care of your household,” she says, ”[and] there’s nothing left to cut out, having another income is something a lot of us have to consider.”

No matter what your situation, Taylor stresses that you won’t know how your finances will be affected by inflation unless you have a plan for your money in place.

“People hear budget and they think that it means that you have to say no to everything, but we teach the opposite,” she says. “It’s about giving yourself permission to spend on what matters and ditching what doesn’t.”

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