CNBC make it 2024-07-06 07:25:21


26-year-old worked as a nanny, barista and donut shop staffer—4 years later, she’s a breakout pop star

For breakout pop star Chappell Roan, the journey to success has been full of twists, turns and detours.

Roan, whose given name is Kayleigh Rose Amstutz, signed to Atlantic Records at age 17 after gaining popularity on YouTube. She released her debut EP “School Nights” in 2017 and, a year later, moved to Los Angeles from her hometown of Willard, Missouri.

In April 2020, she released a song called “Pink Pony Club,” inspired by a night at a gay club. It gained traction on social media, USA Today called it one of the 10 best songs of 2020 and entertainment news website Vulture crowned it the Song of the Summer in 2021. Commercially, however, it underperformed Atlantic’s expectations and the label released her, Roan told Pitchfork last year.

After a few months as a barista, Roan started working part-time jobs like nanny, production assistant and donut shop staffer to pay the bills, she told People last year. All the while, she grew a small following for her music on TikTok.

“My music [was] nothing really massive … We’re not talking [Doja Cat’s] ‘Say So’ when that blew up, nothing like that happened,” she said. “TikTok was just a way to display my personality and the inner workings, but I feel like it was hell most of the time trying to get it together as an independent artist and also having a part-time job.”

Today, the 26-year-old is a breakout pop star with four singles reaching the Billboard Hot 100, appearances on NBC’s “The Tonight Show” and CBS’ “The Late Show,” a pizza party with Elton John and a new album on the way.

“It feels like I was right all along,” Roan said on “The Tonight Show” last month. “It feels like I did it. I mean, I feel kind of like I made it already.”

‘It’s really hard to keep up’

Roan’s path from struggling independent artist to emerging sensation was likely helped along by a connection: Her producer at Atlantic was Dan Nigro, who also works with Olivia Rodrigo. Roan was an opening act during Rodrigo’s Sour Tour in 2022, before signing with Island Records last year.

As Rodrigo became more established, so did Roan. Earlier this year, Roan opened for a portion of Rodrigo’s Guts World Tour, giving her a 32% boost in streaming over a single weekend, Billboard reported in February. Her ensuing single “Good Luck, Babe!” came out in April, with immediate success on streaming platforms like Spotify and Billboard’s Top 100.

The sudden jump threw Roan into stardom, presenting a new set of career challenges. “I just want to be honest with the crowd: I just feel a little off today,” she said during a performance last month in Raleigh, North Carolina. “I think my career is just kind of going really fast and it’s really hard to keep up. I’m just being honest … I’m having a hard time today.”

Feeling overwhelmed at work can be a relatable concept, and experts have plenty of tips for handling it in a healthy, productive way. “I’ve found that changing the grammar in your self-talk can boost your mental toughness and resilience,” performance coach Steve Magness wrote for CNBC Make It in 2022. “It’s very easy and simple: Switch ‘I’ to ‘you.'”

Using first-person pronouns can draw you into negative emotions, Magness explained. Instead, tell yourself, “you can recover from this mistake,” or “you will come out of this job search with your dream role.”

Or, try ex-Navy SEAL Jocko Willink’s strategy. When he feels overwhelmed, he makes a giant to-do list and spends a few days knocking off every single task to get out of his mental slump, he told Make It in 2019.

“I like to go on the hardcore offense,” said Willink, noting that each catch-up workday often lasts roughly 12-14 hours. “It’s a lot better for me to suffer hard for three days and grind than to suffer the continual burden that’s weighing on your back for months on end.”

Disclosure: NBCUniversal is the parent company of NBC and CNBC.

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Mom of 18-year-old with a doctorate: These are my 4 non-negotiable parenting rules

Jimalita Tillman knew her daughter Dorothy Jean was gifted at a very young age.

Home-schooled from age 7, Dorothy Jean took high school-level courses a year later and earned her first college diploma, an associate’s degree, at age 10. She added a bachelor’s degree at age 12 and an environmental science master’s degree two years later, both online.

Last year, at just 17 years old, Dorothy Jean earned a doctoral degree in integrated behavioral health from Arizona State University. Now 18, she’s weighing her future plans while running the Dorothy Jeanius STEAM Leadership Institute, an organization she launched in 2020 to offer educational programming for Black youths in Chicago.

Watching Dorothy Jean accomplish so much at a young age has been “humbling,” her mother tells CNBC Make It. Tillman also helped put her daughter on the path to success, especially as a single parent — employing multiple non-negotiable parenting rules that she says helped nurture her daughter’s natural gifts.

Different parenting styles can have varying effects on different children. Tillman says these four rules were constants while she raised Dorothy Jean:

Agree on clear expectations

Build a “contract with your child of expectations,” where you and your child agree on what’s expected of them, from schoolwork to extracurricular activities, Tillman recommends. That could look like finishing their homework before watching any television, or only participating in an extra after-school club if they maintain good grades.

“You need to be very clear and concise. You can’t have one foot in, one foot out when dealing with children, especially gifted ones,” says Tillman.

Talented children especially need clear-cut expectations, and accountability when they fall short of those expectations, research shows. Give them a voice in crafting those guidelines, experts say: It helps to breed confidence and self-motivation, which are both key to long-term success.

“The more you trust your children to do things on their own, the more empowered they’ll be,” bestselling author and parenting expert Esther Wojcicki wrote for Make It in 2022.

Teach accountability — and model it, too

When it comes to accountability, parents can be the best teachers, says Tillman.

“Hold yourself accountable,” she says. “Show your levels of vulnerability with your children [to] show them how to hold themselves accountable and be able to complete things that they need to complete.”

Talking to your children honestly about the times when you fell short of your own expectations, and how you got yourself back on track, can teach them a lot about how responsible adults take accountability. That can be as simple as apologizing to your child when you pick them up late or lose your temper over something trivial, according to psychologist Cindy Graham.

“Children are likely to repeat what they see others doing, so it is important for caregivers to be aware of the lessons kids are learning from them,” Graham told HuffPost in 2021.

Have faith

“You have to be rooted in some sort of faith and stand on that,” says Tillman, who notes that she and her daughter are “very active in church.” It doesn’t have to be religious: You could simply have faith in the idea that everything will work itself out in the end.

Whatever the source of optimism, a positive outlook — which kids can pick up from their parents — can breed self-confidence, educational psychologist and parenting expert Michele Borba told CNBC Make It last year.

“That’s probably one of the highest correlations of success,” said Borba. “It’s a child who says, ‘I’ll just keep chunking it and keep on doing it’ … As opposed to: ‘Why should I bother and try?'”

Parents and children alike need that self-confidence when facing life’s inevitable obstacles, Tillman adds: “At times, it will just be you in your faith. There [will be] times when you’re going to run up against the naysayers. Bills are due. Tuition is due.”

Avoid unfair comparisons

Don’t use other people’s accomplishments to motivate your children to succeed — and remember that every child develops at their own pace, child psychologists say. Constant comparisons can actually backfire by making kids feel inferior, parenting researcher Jennifer Breheny Wallace told Make It last year.

Tillman stridently avoided comparing Dorothy Jean’s accomplishments to anyone else, she says, and she’s adamant that other parents shouldn’t compare their children to Dorothy Jean.

“[Don’t] say, ‘You should be like this. Look at what this kid is doing,'” she says. “Comparison is just horrible. It’s really bad for the child’s self esteem and confidence … How can they be the best version of themselves?”

Want to be a successful, confident communicator? Take CNBC’s new online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. We’ll teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, calm your nerves, what to say and not say, and body language techniques to make a great first impression. Sign up today and use code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off through July 10, 2024.

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The 10 most expensive places to buy a home in the U.S.—the top 5 are in California

Half of the 10 most expensive places to buy a home in the U.S. in 2024 are in California, according to a recent study by SmartAsset.

San Jose, which sits in the middle of Silicon Valley, topped the list with a median home sale price exceeding $1.5 million in 2024 — and prices in the area went up by 12% from last year.

The study, which analyzed Zillow’s housing data of the 100 largest metro areas in 2019, 2023 and 2024 found that median home sale prices have increased this year in all of the most expensive metro areas.

Just how costly are we talking? To be able to afford a typical home in the San Jose area, you would need to make $468,252, according to the National Association of Realtors.

While the Golden State is home to some of the country’s wealthiest zip codes, it is also currently experiencing a housing shortage. What’s happening in California is a snapshot of a larger national trend, with home prices now 47% higher than they were at the beginning of 2020.

Here are the top 10 most expensive places to buy a home in the United States.

1. San Jose, California

  • Median home sale price: $1,502,362
  • Increase since 2023: 12.9%
  • Increase since 2019: 41%

2. San Francisco

  • Median home sale price: $1,132,315
  • Increase since 2023: 10.8%
  • Increase since 2019: 30.5%

3. Los Angeles

  • Median home sale price: $925,783
  • Increase since 2023: 10.6%
  • Increase since 2019: 47.9%

4. San Diego

  • Median home sale price: $876,056
  • Increase since 2023: 9.4%
  • Increase since 2019: 55.1%

5. Oxnard, California

  • Median home sale price: $844,806
  • Increase since 2023: 8.2%
  • Increase since 2019: 43%

6. Honolulu

  • Median home sale price: $696,729
  • Increase since 2023: 6.6%
  • Increase since 2019: 23.4%

7. Seattle

  • Median home sale price: $692,195
  • Increase since 2023: 10.5%
  • Increase since 2019: 53%

8. Boston

  • Median home sale price: $648,108
  • Increase since 2023: 8.1%
  • Increase since 2019: 47.9%

9. New York

  • Median home sale price: $579,117
  • Increase since 2023: 10.7%
  • Increase since 2019: 49.2%

10. Denver

  • Median home sale price: $573,090
  • Increase since 2023: 3.0%
  • Increase since 2019: 45.3%

Want to be a successful, confident communicator? Take CNBC’s new online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. We’ll teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, calm your nerves, what to say and not say, and body language techniques to make a great first impression. Sign up today and use code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off through July 10, 2024.

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If you always use 12 phrases, you’re more emotionally intelligent than most

Do you think and speak in ways that mark you as being emotionally intelligent

After spending more than 25 years researching and writing books about emotional intelligence, I know that you should hope the answer is yes.

As I discuss in my most recent book “Optimal,” being emotionally intelligent means you’re more likely to be a high performer, be engaged in what you do, feel satisfied with your work, and be in a good mood on the job. 

What this looks and sounds like in practice breaks down along four domains of emotional intelligence: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

Within these domains, there are a dozen specific abilities, or “competencies,” that distinguish star performers at work, both on teams and as leaders. Those include emotional self awareness, emotional self control, adaptability, achievement orientation, positive outlook, empathy, organizational awareness, influence, conflict management, inspirational leadership, coaching and mentoring, and teamwork.

Here are 12 phrases that emotionally intelligent people tend to think or say on a regular basis — each reflects a strength in one of the 12 competencies. 

1. ‘I can handle this’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Self management (self control)

No matter how stressful or upsetting your life, excellence in self-management — and in emotional self-control in particular — means you can keep disruptive emotions like anger or anxiety from getting in the way of what you have to do in the moment. And if you do get upset, you recover quickly.

2. ‘I can get better and so can you’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Self management (positive outlook)

Rather than assuming you or someone else is only as good at a particular skill or task as they seem at the moment, you realize everyone — you included — can get better with guidance and practice. 

This positive outlook lets you roll with the punches in life and lets you see the opportunities even in setbacks.

DON’T MISS: The ultimate guide to becoming a master communicator and public speaker

3. ‘I’m excited about this change’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Self management (adaptability)

You’re able to navigate uncertainty and adapt to changes instead of being rigid in how you respond. You’re eager to learn new ways of doing and being.

4. ‘This is what really matters’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Self management (achievement orientation)

Keeping your eye on your big-picture goal, despite the distractions of the day, helps you achieve it.

5. ‘I have these thoughts because … ’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Self awareness

Having self-awareness means you understand what triggers your moods and how they make you think, feel, and want to act. You can recognize, for example, when your thoughts stem from feelings of anger, anxiety, or sadness.  

Self-awareness is a prerequisite for better emotional self-control and self-management more broadly. 

6. ‘I get it—and I care about you’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Social awareness (empathy)

There are three kinds of empathy: 

  • Knowing how someone thinks about what’s going on
  • Sensing their feelings
  • Having concern for that person

Together, these three aspects of empathy build closeness and trust in any relationship.

7. ‘So that’s how things work around here’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Social awareness (organizational awareness)

Knowing who makes the decisions you care about offers you a key to the crucial dynamics of your organization. If you understand who’s involved and how things work, you’re often able to have influence. 

8. ‘What if you tried doing it this way?’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (influence)

You know how to convince someone to see things your way. You don’t command, but rather suggest, how a person might do something better. 

9. ‘That means so much because … ’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (inspirational leadership)

Outstanding leaders get the best efforts out of others by speaking about a shared purpose from the heart to the heart, in a way that resonates.

10. ‘We can work this out’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (conflict management)

Talent at handling conflict means you don’t ignore it, can listen to all perspectives, and come up with win-win solutions.

11. ‘We have each other’s backs’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (teamwork)

Feeling like we belong and having a sense of psychological safety on our team means we can give our best efforts and take risks to be innovative without fear of being ostracized or put down.

No matter what your role on the team, you know how to pitch in and collaborate, sharing both responsibilities and rewards. 

12. ‘This could help you’ 

Emotional intelligence competency: Relationship management (coaching and mentoring)

Coaching or mentoring is a key part of helping develop leaders for the future, strengthening your team and organization in the long run. You do it by giving feedback, offering support, and motivating people to learn and grow. 

Keep honing your emotional intelligence 

The more these phrases come up in your mind, the more emotionally intelligent you already are and the better your performance is likely to be. 

Each of us has strengths and limits across these 12 must-have EI competencies. To find out yours I recommend a “360” assessment — where people you know and trust rate you anonymously. It’s the best way to see your own EI profile. You can try the Emotional and Social Competence Inventory.

You might not be a natural in every competency that makes up emotional intelligence. But understanding EI as a broad set of skills and abilities and getting a snapshot of where you stand on each one will help you see what you can build on and where you have room to grow.

Daniel Goleman is a psychologist who shares his insights into the strengths of outstanding performers in the online learning program he designed to strengthen your emotional and social competencies. Daniel received his PhD in psychology and personality development from Harvard University. He is also the author of several books, including “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ” and most recently ”Optimal: How to Sustain Personal and Organizational Excellence Every Day.”

Want to be a successful, confident communicator? Take CNBC’s new online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. We’ll teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, calm your nerves, what to say and not say, and body language techniques to make a great first impression. Sign up today and use code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off through July 10, 2024.

CEO of CVS shares the 1 question she always asks her employees—it forces them to make great decisions

Strong leadership requires decisive action, says CVS Health CEO Karen Lynch.

But people at all levels of the career ladder often struggle to make decisions and get stuck in an “analysis-paralysis” mindset, Lynch recently told LinkedIn’s “This is Working” podcast and video series.

“People are going to follow people that are decisive,” said Lynch, whose company owns brands including the CVS retail pharmacy chain and insurance company Aetna. “If you’re going to lead, you’ve got to know what direction you’re going in.”

When her employees face a mental block and can’t commit to a choice, she asks them a variation of the same question, she said: “What do you think? What do you think we should do? If you had to make a decision today, what would it be?”

That line of questioning forces people to make a call. “A lot of times, the Socratic method works,” Lynch said.

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The Socratic method, named after the teachings of the Greek philosopher Socrates, responds to queries with more questions designed to prompt people into discovering the answers themselves. You can turn it on yourself to improve your self-awareness — which can boost your creativity and productivity — according to Yale University philosophy and psychology professor Tamar Gendler.

Gendler’s advice: Whenever you don’t know what to do, imagine what Socrates himself would say. The philosopher constantly asked “Why?” in response to just about anything, Gendler said on a podcast episode of “The Happiness Lab” last year. If you keep asking yourself that same question, you’ll increase your odds of eventually reaching a satisfying answer.

“I never try to get all the way there all at once,” she said. “But Socratic questioning can help me understand what direction I need to go, to take the very next step.”

Amazon founder Jeff Bezos was also known as a proponent of Socratic thinking in his company’s early days. He conducted probing interviews with job candidates, and reportedly drilled his fellow interviewers with additional questions to narrow down who was most qualified for a role.

“One of his mottos was that every time we hired someone, he or she should raise the bar for the next hire, so that the overall talent pool was always improving,” Nicholas Lovejoy, Amazon’s fifth-ever employee, told Wired in 1999, five years after the company launched.

If Bezos’ questions revealed even a single doubt, the candidate was typically soon rejected: “Jeff was very, very picky,” Lovejoy said.

Want to be a successful, confident communicator? Take CNBC’s new online course Become an Effective Communicator: Master Public Speaking. We’ll teach you how to speak clearly and confidently, calm your nerves, what to say and not say, and body language techniques to make a great first impression. Sign up today and use code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off through July 10, 2024.

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