In successful relationships, both partners feel emotionally secure, connected, and comfortable being themselves around each other. But for many of us, romantic relationships can bring out our deepest insecurities.

As a Harvard-trained psychologist who works with couples, I often tell people that emotional security in a relationship starts with seeing yourself as worthy of love, and trusting that your partner is accepting, caring, and truly committed — through the highs and the lows.

Couples who truly trust each other use seven phrases every day, and they should be relationship goals for all of us.

Feeling safe in a relationship means never having to hide parts of yourself. You are comfortable being vulnerable when talking about painful or difficult topics because you trust that your partner will respond with compassion, not judgement.

Similar phrases:

• “Thank you for loving me as I am.”
• “I appreciate that I can be myself with you.”

Trust is the foundation of emotional security. You believe that your partner’s words and actions align, whether you’re together or apart. You know who they are and you believe they have your best interest in mind.

Similar phrases:

• “Thank you for being respectful of me and our relationship.”
• “We’re a team, and I trust that you want what’s best for the both of us.”

Even the most emotionally secure couples have conflict. What differentiates them is how they handle it. They don’t panic or threaten to leave during disagreements because they trust that the relationship can weather the storms.

Similar phrases:

• “One tough phase doesn’t mean it’s over for us.”
• “Let’s figure this out together.”

People who trust their partners don’t feel threatened during time apart. Alone time feels natural. They respect each other’s need for independence, knowing that it strengthens the relationship.

Similar phrases:

• “I’m glad you’re making time for yourself.”
• “Thanks for giving me the space when I need it, too.”

Missing someone doesn’t mean you’re clingy — it means you’re connected. Even when you support each other’s personal space, you still look forward to being together.

Similar phrases:

• “Being apart helps me realize how grateful I am for you.”
• “I’m excited to see you when you get home.”

Secure relationships make room for hard conversations. When something feels off, you’re not afraid to speak up because you believe your partner will be nurturing and listen with care.

Similar phrases:

• “There’s something I’d like to check in about.”
• “I’ve been feeling a little off and I want to make sure we’re okay.”

Looking forward to the future, whether it’s date night or a shared life goal, indicates mutual investment in the relationship. You see your partner in your long-term vision, and they see you in theirs.

Similar phrases:

• “Can we go over our schedules?”
• “I’m really looking forward to our trip.”

Sharing intimate information about ourselves with our partners isn’t easy. It makes us vulnerable — and if we aren’t met with empathy, it can really hurt.

But the goal is to be in a relationship where we can be fully seen, fully known, and fully accepted. It doesn’t happen overnight, though. It requires conscious effort, and it means learning to accept yourself first, seeing your partner for who they truly are, and committing to growing together over time.

Dr. Cortney S. Warren, PhD, is a board-certified psychologist and author of the new book “Letting Go of Your Ex.” She specializes in romantic relationships, addictive behavior, and honesty. She received her clinical training at Harvard Medical School after earning her doctorate in clinical psychology from Texas A&M University. Follow her on Instagram @DrCortneyWarren or Twitter @DrCortneyWarren.

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At 66 years old, one Sherman Oaks, California-based mom thought she’d be enjoying an empty nest with her husband. Instead, she’s sharing her home with an unexpected roommate: her 27-year-old daughter.

Since their 27-year-old moved back home in early 2024, the mother, who asked to remain anonymous to protect her daughter’s identity, says she and her husband are spending close to $5,000 a month covering all of her daughter’s living expenses. This includes up to $1,500 on food, $700 on transportation and $400 on her pet cat, the mother says.

Because of the increased expenses, she says they’re no longer going on vacation this year, and her husband, a radiologist, may have to delay retirement.  

“We were not planning on this kind of expenditure at this point of our lives,” the mother says. “The reason we do it is because we don’t want to see her on the street.”

The couple join a growing number of parents who say their finances have been affected by children aged 18 to 35 moving back home. One survey published in May by financial services provider Thrivent found that nearly 40% of U.S. parents say supporting their adult children has impacted their savings goals — the highest percentage since the survey began four years ago.

The parents from Sherman Oaks say their relationship with their daughter has become so strained that they’ve turned to Kim Muench, a parenting coach who specializes in young adults, for guidance.

Muench says “a good majority” of her clients have been affected financially by their adult children living at home. Many parents aren’t traveling like they typically would, are pushing off retirement and are forgoing other self-care expenses.

“Parents sometimes hesitate to get help for themselves and invest in their health … because they’re already spending more than they would like to support their adult or emerging adult children,” she says.

While using short-term savings to support adult children may mean missing a vacation or not going out to dinner as often, dipping into long-term savings or delaying retirement can lead to financial challenges later in life — especially if health issues or age make it difficult to keep working, experts say.

Some decisions, however, aren’t always driven by a lack of money: “I would say 80% is emotional, 20% is financial from the parents,” Muench says.

Many of her clients forgo vacations because they don’t trust their kids to stay home alone, Muench says.

The father from Sherman Oaks says that retirement wouldn’t just mean a loss of income, it would also mean losing access to his employer-sponsored health insurance — which currently costs the couple close to $600 a month for their daughter.

“At this point, I was hoping to do a lot more travelling … we’ve really put that on the back burner,” the mother says. “I thought my husband and I would have the house to ourselves with the dogs, and we wouldn’t be worried sick about her all the time.”

While many parents are happy to care for their adult children when they first move back home, there’s usually an expectation that the move will be temporary, Muench says. However, a lack of communication between parents and children, especially around finances, can often leave parents feeling stuck in a long-term living arrangement.

“When their son or daughter is not taking [financial responsibility] on incrementally, they actually get very worried that they will be financially providing for the rest of their lives,” Muench says.

Muench says parents can work with their adult children by having open, calm conversations to define financial boundaries together.

Instead of taking drastic measures, Muench suggests parents introduce gradual financial boundaries to help young adults build responsibility with support. Ask them to start small, she says, such as taking over their phone bills or putting a weekly portion of money away in a separate savings account to mimic paying rent.

“It takes consistent conversations, because it’s probably not going to happen in the first conversation,” Muench says. “And it takes an emotional maturity level on both the parents and the emerging adult side to figure out how they can work together.”

Editor’s note: This story has been updated to include additional details about the daughter from Sherman Oaks, California’s living expenses.

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You’ve had a great call. Everyone’s on board. Then you send the follow-up email, and you’re met with silence.

You follow up again and more silence. 

We’ve all experienced some version of this, whether it’s after a job interview, a networking request, or a sales conversation. 

As a keynote speaker, LinkedIn Learning Instructor, and bestselling author of “Unforgettable Presence,” I work with highly accomplished professionals — from executives to rising leaders — to help them communicate with confidence.

So I know that while a gentle “just following up,” “circling back” or “just checking in” might feel polite, it’s often not enough to cut through the noise of a busy inbox.

Here’s what to do if you don’t want your follow-ups to be ignored:

When you end a call with, “We can figure out next steps over email,” it’s easy for people to deprioritize your follow-up request.

One of the easiest ways to reduce ghosting is to schedule your next interaction before the current one ends.

The meeting or deliverable can always be adjusted later on. It takes more effort to cancel a meeting entirely — and more gall to blow past a deadline — than to ignore an email. Try:

• “Let’s touch base next Friday. I can send an invite. When’s a good time?”
• “I’ll draft the proposal this week and we can reconnect early next week. Does Monday or Tuesday work?”
• “If I send you the draft memo by 5 p.m. today, would you be able to review and share your comments by Thursday morning?”

Language like “just following up” and “just checking in” may sound friendly, but it’s indirect and can easily get dismissed as non-urgent. Even worse, when you use minimizing words like “just,” you’re subtly telling the other person that your message isn’t that important.

Ultimately, these soft, non-committal openers make your message feel optional instead of actionable. 

Drop the minimizing words and swap vague follow-ups for clear, specific messages. Try:

• “Following up on the speaker proposal I sent over — hoping to confirm next steps by Friday so I can hold the date.”
• “I wanted to ask if there’s any additional information I can provide to support your decision on [X situation].”
• “I’m excited to move forward on this project and wanted to check where things stand on your end.”

Sometimes people aren’t ignoring you, they simply don’t have an answer yet — although in an ideal world, they’d let you know that!

Ask a clear, direct question to give the other person a reason to respond, even if it’s to say, “Not right now.” Try:

• “Would next week be a better time to reconnect?”
• “Is this still a priority on your end?”

When appropriate, reference a time constraint. Sometimes urgency helps people prioritize their response. Try:

• “We’re finalizing our list by Friday. Can you let me know by then if this is still of interest?”
• “I wanted to give you a chance to include your response before our meeting schedule closes next week.”

Still not getting a reply? Try showing up in their world.

Engaging with someone’s recent post on LinkedIn can be a subtle but effective way to remind them you’re around — without pinging their inbox again.

Don’t spam their DMs or comment with “sent you an email!” Instead, offer value and visibility by leaving a thoughtful comment, for example. It keeps you top of mind and builds rapport.

It’s easy to assume silence means “no.” But often, it just means your message got lost in a sea of other priorities. A friendly, professional nudge is acceptable and often appreciated.

Follow up after a reasonable time. Use a subject line that gets attention and be clear about what you’re hoping for.

And don’t apologize. None of this “Sorry to bother you…” stuff. You’re not bothering them — you’re being proactive.

Resending the same message with a passive aggressive “bumping this up” isn’t likely to entice the recipient to reply. 

If you’ve already followed up once, shift your approach instead of repeating yourself. Add new information or progress since your last message. It keeps the conversation active and gives the recipient a clear reason to re-engage. Try:

• “We’ve updated the proposal to include your feedback. Happy to walk through the changes.”
• “Since our last conversation, we’ve secured buy-in from the team. Would love to hear your thoughts.”

Following up doesn’t have to feel awkward, and you don’t have to settle for silence. With a few thoughtful changes, you can turn passive check-ins into powerful messages that help you get things done and get on with your day.

Lorraine K. Lee is an award-winning keynote speaker and CEO of RISE Learning Solutions. She’s also the best-selling author of “Unforgettable Presence: Get Seen, Gain Influence, and Catapult Your Career,” which was named a must-read by the Next Big Idea Club. She teaches popular courses with LinkedIn Learning and Stanford Continuing Studies. Past clients include Zoom, Cisco, LinkedIn, ASICS, McKinsey & Company, and many others.

Are you ready to buy a house? Take Smarter by CNBC Make It’s new online course How to Buy Your First Home. Expert instructors will help you weigh the cost of renting vs. buying, financially prepare, and confidently navigate every step of the process—from mortgage basics to closing the deal. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through July 15, 2025.

When I was only 23, I made a decision that changed my entire life: I bought my first home for $196,000. 

I closed on a three-bedroom, two-and-a-half bathroom ranch on Atlanta’s south side in October 2019. At the time, I was working in management consulting at a global firm, to the best of my memory earning just under $100,000 a year — enough to help me qualify for a mortgage and get pre-approved with minimal friction.

Five years later, that single property has become so much more than a place to live. It has shaped my finances, boosted my confidence, supported my family, and ultimately launched a new career I hadn’t anticipated.

If you’re looking to buy your first home, here are the key lessons I learned that made all the difference:

At the most basic level, there are only two ways to save more: increase your income or reduce your spending. I decided to do both.

For most people, housing is the biggest monthly expense. So if you can find a way to reduce — or temporarily eliminate — this cost, you’ll gain serious leverage. That might mean living with a family member, getting a roommate, or making intentional lifestyle adjustments for a season.

I lowered my housing costs by renting out my apartment on Airbnb on days I was out of town for work — offsetting a large portion of my rent. I also increased my income by offering marketing consultations to peers and small businesses, and taking on speaking engagements outside of my 9-to-5. At this point in my career, I had built a strong personal brand and I realized others were willing to pay for my expertise.

In just six months, I saved around $10,000 to cover my down payment and closing costs. It wasn’t always easy, but the short-term sacrifices set me up for long-term security.

Before I even began house hunting, I did my homework: I attended first-time homebuyer workshops through my local Urban League and spent time researching loan types, down payment assistance programs, and grant opportunities. 

I even joined a Saturday city bus tour that highlighted different Atlanta neighborhoods and upcoming developments. This helped me pinpoint a neighborhood that was on the brink of redevelopment, allowing me to purchase at an affordable price while leaving room to build equity over the next few years.

Learning both the process and the local market gave me the clarity to make decisions rooted in confidence, not fear.

It’s easy to fall in love with a house’s finishes or charm, but your first home doesn’t need to be your dream home. For me, it was about which property presented the best rental potential, while allowing me to live comfortably.

I made a list of my non-negotiables and nice-to-haves I could live without. My priorities included a central location, a bathroom for every bedroom (for easier renting), and a spacious backyard, which turned out to be crucial. Within a year, I added a backyard tiny home — technically called an accessible dwelling unit (ADU) — that brought in income and gave me added flexibility.

Buy with intention. Focus on what has the potential to grow with you, not just what looks good in the moment.

When it came time to choose a real estate agent, I went with someone recommended by a colleague. In hindsight, I wish I’d taken more time to find the right fit.

While the deal got done, I often felt unsupported — especially as a first-time buyer with lots of questions. Most showings were handled by an assistant, and I sat alone at the closing table, overwhelmed. Later, I uncovered plumbing and electrical issues in the home I believe could’ve been flagged earlier with a more hands-on team.

Buying a home involves a lot of moving parts, and your team matters. Interview agents, lenders, and inspectors just like you would any key collaborator. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, request references, and trust your gut. And remember, until you’re under contract, you can pause or pivot at any time.

I didn’t do everything perfectly. But looking back, I’m happy I purchased a home when it felt right for me. It created options.  

The addition of a backyard ADU allowed me to bring in even more cashflow — offsetting the mortgage, helping me navigate life transitions, and allowing me to support loved ones. Today, my sister and her family live in the tiny home. We’re able to support one another while placing ourselves in a secure financial position.

Most importantly, the experience showed me how powerful real estate can be. That’s what inspired me to become a licensed Georgia realtor to help others walk this journey with even more confidence than I had, especially young buyers who feel unsure or overwhelmed.

Buying my first home cemented my financial security, cultivated community among my family and friends, and changed the trajectory of my career. Now I hope I can help others find homes that might do the same for them.

Precious Price is a TEDx speaker, real estate entrepreneur, and co-founder of Gather ADU, a startup helping homeowners and investors build backyard tiny homes and accessory dwelling units (ADUs) to create more housing and maximize their property value. She holds both a bachelor’s and master’s degree from the Indiana University Kelley School of Business. Follow her on Instagram, Twitter and YouTube.

Are you ready to buy a house? Take Smarter by CNBC Make It’s new online course How to Buy Your First Home. Expert instructors will help you weigh the cost of renting vs. buying, financially prepare, and confidently navigate every step of the process—from mortgage basics to closing the deal. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through July 15, 2025.

You’ve probably worked hard to build positive relationships. But what if, despite your best intentions, your communication is coming off as judgmental?

As the author of “Managing Up,” an executive coach to top performers at the world’s biggest companies, and a professor of human behavior, I’ve seen how certain phrases — even ones that sound perfectly reasonable in your head — can chip away at trust.

People may hesitate to share ideas or information with you. You may stop getting invited to meetings or to social events. And before you know it, you’re being labeled as resistant or not a team player. 

Here are five common phrases that can make you sound judgmental, even when you don’t mean to be, and what to say instead. 

You may say this when someone brings up a problem that seems to have a straightforward solution. Maybe your friend is stressed about their inbox, and you mention, “Why don’t you just set up filters?” Or your direct report is struggling to get buy-in on a decision, and you jump straight to, “Why don’t you just schedule one-on-ones?”

You think you’re helping, but what the other person hears is: “The answer is obvious, so why haven’t you figured it out?” They may need empathy before they’re ready to problem-solve.

What to say instead

Get curious before offering solutions. For example: 

• “That sounds frustrating. What have you tried so far?” 

Once you understand the situation better, you can then suggest ideas with phrases like: 

• “One thing that’s worked for me…” 
• “An option that comes to mind is…” 

At a family gathering, someone mentions, “Grandma grew up in Ohio,” and you jump in to clarify, “Actually, it was Michigan.” Even small corrections like, “Actually, the deadline is Friday,” can come off harsher than intended.

Prefacing statements with “actually” can seem to imply, “You’re wrong and I’m right,” or, “You’re not paying attention,” and come off as condescending. 

What to say instead

Embrace “yes, and…” improv energy to build on others’ ideas, not tear them down. Try: 

• “You’re right about [X situation], and something else to consider is…” 
• “That’s a fair point. I wonder if we also need to factor in…” 

Signal humility with wording like: 

• “I might be misremembering, but I thought the deadline was Friday. Do we want to double check?”

Over dinner you comment to your partner, “If I’m being honest, I had more fun at the show than I thought I would.” Or you might use it to express feedback, like: “Honestly, we should consider other options.”

You’re trying to be transparent. But saying “to be honest…” can subtly imply everything you said before wasn’t truthful. Worse, it often signals criticism is coming, so people might get defensive before you’ve even made your point.

What to say instead

Drop the preamble and lead with the positive experience:  

• “I’d definitely do something like that again!”
• “I wasn’t sure what to expect and I really enjoyed myself.” 

If you’re offering input, position your opinion as one possible perspective, not the only truth. For example: 

• “I see a few challenges with that approach.”
• “My experience has been…”

You can also use words that invite open-mindedness like: 

• “How about we explore…” 
• “I’m curious about…”

You might say this when someone’s explanation or idea doesn’t line up with your thinking or experience. For example, maybe a teammate says they’re prioritizing a smaller client over a bigger one.

What you mean is, “I don’t understand your reasoning,” but the subtext can be perceived as, “Your logic is flawed.” Even if you’re truly confused, this phrase puts the other person in the position of having to defend their intelligence. 

What to say instead

Acknowledge what you do understand or paraphrase what you’ve heard first. Try: 

• “I know we’re trying to be thoughtful here. Can you help me understand the upside of waiting a bit longer?” 
• “So if I’m following, we’re focusing on the smaller client first because of the referral potential, correct?” 

You might genuinely be caught off guard when someone isn’t aware of information that seems fundamental or well-known to you. Sometimes it’s even a nervous reflex if you feel awkward for not catching an oversight sooner. 

By expressing “surprise,” you’re inadvertently suggesting their lack of knowledge is unexpected and perhaps inappropriate for someone in their role.

What to say instead

Focus on being helpful rather than highlighting their unfamiliarity. Try: 

• “That’s one of those terms that gets thrown around a lot. It means…” 
• “Totally understandable. Want me to fill you in real quick?” 

These phrases aren’t always judgmental. Tone and timing matter, too. Be aware of both your intention and your impact and you can become the type of person others trust, respect, and want to invest in. 

Melody Wilding, LMSW is an executive coach, human behavior professor, and author of ”Managing Up: How to Get What You Need from the People in Charge.” Download exact scripts to diplomatically say no at work here.

Are you ready to buy a house? Take Smarter by CNBC Make It’s new online course How to Buy Your First Home. Expert instructors will help you weigh the cost of renting vs. buying, financially prepare, and confidently navigate every step of the process—from mortgage basics to closing the deal. Sign up today and use coupon code EARLYBIRD for an introductory discount of 30% off $97 (+taxes and fees) through July 15, 2025.